What is wrong with me??

Natalie0506

I have no idea what is wrong with me. I want to lose weight. I have all the tools at my fingertips. I have a Wii, I have Turbo Jam, Turbo Fit, ChaLean Extreme, I have a biggest loser Wii game. I know what to eat, I know how to cook it. I KNOW what to do. But I keep choosing to eat the wrong stuff. I keep choosing to not work out. I feel bad a lot of the time, and I know it's because I choose the wrong things. My problem is that I enjoy the bad food. I love chocolate. I love all those bad foods. Why do I keep doing this to myself? I started last year at almost 230 lbs. I got all the way down to 204, and I felt awesome. Like, super duper awesome. Then something happened and I kept putting things off. Oh, I'll workout tomorrow. Oh, I'll eat better tomorrow. Oh, today is my cheat day. Soon every day became my cheat day. I'm now back up to 213, and I hate it. My husband is not very supportive...he has no interest in losing weight even though he needs to as well. He's very picky about what he will and won't eat, so I feel like most nights I either have to make at least two different meals, or deal with him whining and complaining about how he's always so hungry. My kids are still pretty young, so they'll at least eat what I put on the table. Usually. I just don't know how to keep it going. I've tried finding online workout buddies, but no one ever sticks. They have the same issues that I do. I guess I just need someone to tell me what to do. Growing up, my mom made me do things, be active, eat well. Mostly because I didn't have a choice. Maybe now that I have the choice, I choose to do what I want as opposed to what I should do. I need help!

Mindful_Trent

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you have to find the motivation within yourself that pushes you to change. We all have our own breaking point. Mine was the breakup of a relationship - I sat back and realized I was NOT the person I wanted to be, in so many ways. If you want it, REALLY want it, you'll make it happen and do what you need to do. Edited to add: there's nothing anyone can do to help you hit that breaking point. Some people have to hit rock bottom, others just wake up and can change. It's up to you to decide how far/low you'll go.

Regarding your husband - if he doesn't like what you cook, he should have to cook his own meals. There's no reason for you to be making two dinners. He's a grownup and can take care of himself if he doesn't like what you offer him.

LonnaRox

I've been asking myself similar questions ... 'why' do I long to eat those potato chips when I know what I need to do to lose weight (and avoiding chips is just one thing). 'WHY'?

I like 'bad' foods too ... I think most of us do ... they are engineered to taste good to us.

But for me, the 'why' goes deeper than 'it tastes good'. I eat 'bad' foods for 'comfort' when I'm feeling stressed or sad or when I want love.

Is your 'why' deeper too?

godsgiftjcp

I have a lot of battles within myself about what to eat and what not to eat. If its support you are looking for, I am looking for support as well. I have a very strong sweet tooth and I have found a way to satisfy it. Maybe we can motivate each other.

Raquel1275

Natalie!
Don't fret! You are here aren't you? You typed this post didn't you? Then you WANT to do this! I LOVE all the "bad" food too! It makes me feel happy but what I love more is actually having energy and feeling good about myself. Do you like the way you are? If the answer is no, which I know it is, then only YOU can do the work to change it. I have been on MFP for about 6 weeks now and have lost almost 20 lbs. I love the way I am feeling and what keeps me going is the curiosity of how I will feel when another 20 is gone. you can do this and stick to it! I will be here for you and push you! Tell me your goals and we will take this journey together and succeed together!

sweetheart03622

Stick to it. Try something new. What you've done in the past isn't working. The best thing that I've learned from this sight is that you have to adjust your ways in order to find what works for you. For me, I eat the calories I'd need to lose 1.5 pounds/week (1360) on Monday-Friday and then on Saturday and Sunday I allow myself to eat my maintenance calories (2100). This allows me the freedom to enjoy food and cook the yummy things I want, and if I work out, I get even more! It's a lifestyle change and it's tough. Focus on the health benefits, it'll help you stick longer. And tell your man that you're not a d@mn short order cook so he can eat what you make or make his own! :flowerforyou: we're here for you

Iluvcheezits

I have the SAME problem and at the end of the day what's wrong with you is you. (Please know I am saying this to myself as I just got through eating a Reese's PB Easter Egg) Diets, pills, exercise, not exercise blah blah. Do you want it? Then just go do it...however you need to. Your husband sounds like mine except mine is a twig so he doesn't have to worry about it. I am so frustrated with my lack of "follow through" that I cant see straight, but it really doesn't matter what anyone says or how they got there...it is ALL ABOUT YOU. You know how to do it! Have a heart to heart with yourself and don't let the weight loss thing control your life, you need to take control of it. Congrats on the first weight loss, that's no small feat! Don't let things get out of hand, get back on your horse!

MisdemeanorM

I found it very helpful to join the Y and go to their classes. The same people usually were at all the 7am classes and I loved going. If I missed a day they'd be like - where were you?! I don't have enough motivation to work out on my own every day, but if i feel like I have a deadline and somewhere to be by a certain time (ie the gym to class before it starts) I do it. I also liked an instructor telling me what i could do so I could just zone out and follow her. It was actually rather relaxing and energizing at the same time! I also got into such a routine that I fell odd mornings I did not get up to go to the gym (ie weekends). I never once slept in instead of going to the gym, and if I woke up tired I would think " you will never go to the gym and then say, man I wish I hadn't come!, but you will regret sleeping in and not going to the gym." It got me up every M/T/W/R morning. Plus, I knew I had to be there at a certain time so no, "just 10 more minutes" which turns into another hour! :laugh:

PS - I still eat junk food. I like it too much. Ice cream? Oh yeah. But on workout days I would have so many calories to play with, so I never felt deprived or like i had to cut it all out. I was totally fine with the idea of slow and steady vs cut it all out and be miserable but reach my goal in 2 months.

I agree on the hubby too. He can feed himself if he doesn't like what's on the table. You need to tell him what impression he is setting for your kids too. You say they are young enough to eat what you give them - age should not be an issue. Do not let them grow out of this.

And on the sweets, you will find other things you love too and really break out of the sweets and junk food routine (not completely, ie, see ice cream mention above!). I had kix with strawberries in it yesterday and said to my husband - this is sooo good! It's like candy! He goes "you don't have a lot of candy do you?" I thought, nope, I really don't... but I honestly would rather this bowl of fruit and cereal over a candy bar any day! It is SOOO good!

hilhoush

I have the same problem, but you know what I figured out? You have to be happy in your life to want to better yourself and your choices. Be honest with yourself and figure out what in your life is not making you happy. When you figure that out and change it, everything else will just fall into place. Believe me, every day is a struggle for me too and I have experienced a lot of the same obstacles that you have. Just remember that you are beautiful and start putting yourself first. Hope this helps...

ShellyMacchi

... I sat back and realized I was NOT the person I wanted to be, in so many ways. If you want it, REALLY want it, you'll make it happen and do what you need to do. Edited to add: there's nothing anyone can do to help you hit that breaking point. Some people have to hit rock bottom, others just wake up and can change. It's up to you to decide how far/low you'll go.

this = me
*nods lots*

jkestens63

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you have to find the motivation within yourself that pushes you to change. We all have our own breaking point. Mine was the breakup of a relationship - I sat back and realized I was NOT the person I wanted to be, in so many ways. If you want it, REALLY want it, you'll make it happen and do what you need to do. Edited to add: there's nothing anyone can do to help you hit that breaking point. Some people have to hit rock bottom, others just wake up and can change. It's up to you to decide how far/low you'll go.

Regarding your husband - if he doesn't like what you cook, he should have to cook his own meals. There's no reason for you to be making two dinners. He's a grownup and can take care of himself if he doesn't like what you offer him.

I completely agree with the above - it really comes down to what you truly want and what you are truly willing to sacrifice in order to get it. And there are sacrifices. You have to give up the foods that you love, you have to give up relaxing activity time (like sitting in front of the TV), you have to give up old habits and a lifestyle that put you where you are. You also have to be realistic. The weight is going to come off very slowly and you are not going to be perfect, there will be ups and downs. But if you truly want to lose weight, keep it off then you will make the committment and make the choices you need to. If not, then you have to learn to be happy with the way you are --- and that's okay too but you can't spend your life wanting something that you can't have unless you are willing to work and sacrifice for it. It took me 44 years to get to that point and I'm by no means perfect but whenever I fall off track I get back on it again, and again and again.

As far as hubby - we both eat different things here too. He doesn't have the same tastes and lifestyle. He cooks his stuff. I cook mine.

EDBENAGLIO

look as a stay at home mom then i am sure there are thing you re going to have to do like it or not one of them is cooking dinner and if he is working then cooking for him is probly one of the things. that said you have to find the time and way to do what you need to do as well.. maybe that is cook your meals all in one day and save them kinda like a tv dinner. or eat welll and save the cal for dinner so you can eat what he eats. what works for me is i eat 200 cal of bad food around 1pm so i have time to burn it off.

i belive you can find a way to make it work if you want to.

i am not trying to be " it the womens job" but i belive it is not always as easy as

"Regarding your husband - if he doesn't like what you cook, he should have to cook his own meals. There's no reason for you to be making two dinners. He's a grownup and can take care of himself if he doesn't like what you offer him."

feel free to friend me if you like.

clioandboy

I hear you, we are the ones that made us fat. We are the ones that will make us slim. I do good then I **** up. I get close to my goal, then my jeans are real tight. I have a great time then I start eating my emotions. If we weren't crap at this we wouldn't be here! I need to learn new ways of being, my old ways got me fat..... I have some great pals on here real supportive, they kick my *kitten* sometimes cheer me on at others, they can't do it for me but together we stand a decent chance.
Feel free to add me as a friend, come join the gang that will work towards our goals together, good luck anyways

bzmom

I have no idea what is wrong with me. I want to lose weight. I have all the tools at my fingertips. I have a Wii, I have Turbo Jam, Turbo Fit, ChaLean Extreme, I have a biggest loser Wii game. I know what to eat, I know how to cook it. I KNOW what to do. But I keep choosing to eat the wrong stuff. I keep choosing to not work out. I feel bad a lot of the time, and I know it's because I choose the wrong things. My problem is that I enjoy the bad food. I **love chocolate**. I love all those bad foods. Why do I keep doing this to myself? I started last year at almost 230 lbs. I got all the way down to 204, and I felt awesome. Like, super duper awesome. Then something happened and I kept putting things off. Oh, I'll workout tomorrow. Oh, I'll eat better tomorrow. Oh, today is my cheat day. Soon every day became my cheat day. I'm now back up to 213, and I hate it. My husband is not very supportive...he has no interest in losing weight even though he needs to as well. He's very picky about what he will and won't eat, so I feel like most nights I either have to make at least two different meals, or deal with him whining and complaining about how he's always so hungry. My kids are still pretty young, so they'll at least eat what I put on the table. Usually. I just don't know how to keep it going. I've tried finding online workout buddies, but no one ever sticks. They have the same issues that I do. I guess I just need someone to tell me what to do. Growing up, my mom made me do things, be active, eat well. Mostly because I didn't have a choice. Maybe now that I have the choice, I choose to do what I want as opposed to what I should do. I need help!

First off who said you have to give up chocolate??? I havent I have a chocolate biscotti or lindor truffle when ever I want it! the key is to eat it in moderations and the right kind. The biscotti is 110 calories each. the truffles are about 73 calories per ball. I think the problem here is you try hard to keep the food you love away from you when you should learn to play with it and make it work for you! I work full time the only food I make that hubby and kids eat is dinner. I make the same stuff i was making when I was "thicker" However I have worked to incorporate breakfast when I didnt eat it before and lots of water to drink this has slowed down my goody binge tremendously and I have learned to make a meal that wont eat up my calories for lunch. Play with your numbers, experiment with food instead of cutting them completely off and making yourself hate it and fall off the wagon.

ramseyrose

There is nothing wrong with you. I have felt the same myself for the last year. I lost a stone with WW, then slowly put it back on and Jan 11 I was back at my original weight. I was fed up, stuffed my face with whatever, got more depressed, stuffed my face. Its a viscious circle. Food is an addiction. I suffer from SAD so I got out my lightbox and on Feb 14th I decided enough was enough, I had a holiday booked and I wanted and needed to lose weight. i found this site and it has made me realise that calorie counting is the best way. If you eat less calories than you lose, you will lose weight.

You have to be in the right frame of mind, but you are here and we will support you. Start logging your foods tomorrow, you've lost it before, you can do it again.

Let us know tomorrow how you got on :flowerforyou:

liscar

You have to want it.....that's all there is to it. You have want it for you and you can do it. Make smaller goals to get started, like you will log all your calories for a week, and so on.

I eat my daily calories (1200) and my exercise calories (300-500). I have one day that I don't work out, I rest. On that day I eat my calorie level to maintain (2100)

As far as your husband goes...I have a house full of guys ..... I make a regular meal, I have a smaller portion (on a smaller plate) and a salad. They get WHAT I MAKE --- if they don't like it, they can make something themselves and sometimes they do.

Read some posts on here -- find people that inspire you and motivate you and ask them to be your buddy, explain to them why you want them to be your buddy.

You can do it! One little step at a time.

EricMurano

Firstly: Nothing is wrong with you.

Second: We've all been where you are right now. I know I have. I've only really taken this stuff seriously over the last two weeks. Before that it was six months of calorie counting breakfast and sometimes lunch then slacking off and not counting dinner. Also I put off going to the gym a lot.

Now I can't wait to go to gym or for a jog (slow jogging at the moment). I don't feel like a cheat meal because A) I don't want to put myself back in my weight loss plan and I just don't feel like anything 'naughty'.

When you get the motivation, when the bug bites you, you'll start to reorganise your life to make it happen. You *are* capable of having the motivation. You just have to get on with it through gritted teeth for the first week. After that, you'll be a food Nazi. You'll get sad because you know you need a rest day from the gym when all you want to do is sweat.

Putting things off: We all do it. You just need to brainwash yourself a little. Your mind can either be in the past, present or future. If you're living in the past, you're probably beating yourself up over something you've done or not done. If you're living in the future you're assuring yourself that you will start tomorrow or "There'll be a day when I'm fit and healthy and doing everything right". Or you're in the present, where you need to be. Only in the present can you make a decision about with path to walk down. Don't agonise over a bad decision you made in the past. Equally don't assure yourself that you *will* make the right decision in the future. The present is the only time you can make a decision.

In practise: If you've already had a big breakfast and you think that the day has already been ruined so you may as well have a big lunch too, stop. Forgive yourself for the big breakfast and make the right decision about lunch.

If you focus on the decisions you can make right now it makes it easier. It small chunks the challenge. You're not thinking about how much your life has to change as a whole; you're just making the right choice between eating that double fudge sundae or not eating it.

Ok that's enough woo woo from me :P

Llama74

I can sooo relate.
It is hard to stick with a program when you still have the cravings for the foods you shouldn't eat. We give into the temptation because it is the path of least resistance.
I lost 66 lbs last year by making a few changes:

1) Plan your meals & snacks the night before. This one is most important
2) No substituting low calorie versions of the foods you shouldn't be eating. ex; chocolate, ice cream or no sugar syrup. Because when you substitute, the cravings remain.
3) Exercise daily - but start off slow, don't exhaust yourself.
4) Watch motivating shows such as "Heavy" on A&E.
5) Don't let yourself get hungry, That is what the snacks are for. Just make sure they are included in your calorie count.
6) Log into myfitnesspal daily

I could not control my husbands eating at all. But I did request from him not to buy any foods that would tempt me. He would buy chocolate chip ice cream, and I would be fine with it and not eat that because that is one flavor I do not like.

You might mess up by eating a few things you shouldn't though don't let it blow your next meal.
I was doing so good until my mom died, and I allowed myself to cheat here and there, a bad mistake.
I am back to eating right and exercising now, so no excuses. My mom would have wanted me to reach my goal weight.

Trust me, once you get rid of the cravings it really works.

MisdemeanorM

look as a stay at home mom then i am sure there are thing you re going to have to do like it or not one of them is cooking dinner and if he is working then cooking for him is probly one of the things.

If this argument is true - that her job is to cook whatever he will like, then he sure as hell better be giving her all the money he makes working so she can buy whatever she wants or likes. It is in no way a SAHM's job to make her husband happy or cater to him. Maybe she has more time to cook, so it makes sense for her to, but there is absolutely no obligation to pander to his childish behavior of not being able to eat something healthy.

That being said, there is compromise. I make spaghetti, but put the meat on the side so he can mix it in and I can leave it out. I make chicken with salad, but also make a side because I will have a bigger salad and none or less of the side and he will have less of the salad and more of the side. I only use wheat pasta if it is 'hidden' in something he can't taste it in (ie casseroles), and I leave cheese toppings off to be added on a plate by plate basis. If I put tofu in the stir fry I cook it in a separate pan and don't mix it in the whole pot. I also take out my portion before adding the calorie laden sauce, as I prefer it without. I would NEVER cook a separate meal for him though, or something I won't eat, just because it's something he wants (not on a regular basis at least. I do sometimes make things he prefers more than I do, (ie tacos - I hate tacos) but only on occasion since it's about compromise.)

DoubleO7

Hi –
I don’t want to be rude to you but I deal with people that have the same issue as you do on most days. I’m a registered Holistic Nutritionist and as soon as I hear this I know deep down in my heart that my client is JUST NOT READY to start his (her) journey. You need to set your mind that this journey is for a LIFETIME. WE ALL can loose the weight, but the big thing is we just don’t try to keep it off AFTER WE REACHED OUR GOAL. We go back to our old routine and boom the weight comes on AGAIN.

When you hit rock bottom (as sad as it sounds) you will be ready to do something about it and STICK TO IT!!!

Remember Eating healthy and being active is a LIFETIME COMMITMENT.

To your health.

RHN

EDBENAGLIO

look as a stay at home mom then i am sure there are thing you re going to have to do like it or not one of them is cooking dinner and if he is working then cooking for him is probly one of the things.

If this argument is true - that her job is to cook whatever he will like, then he sure as hell better be giving her all the money he makes working so she can buy whatever she wants or likes. It is in no way a SAHM's job to make her husband happy or cater to him. Maybe she has more time to cook, so it makes sense for her to, but there is absolutely no obligation to pander to his childish behavior of not being able to eat something healthy.

That being said, there is compromise. I make spaghetti, but put the meat on the side so he can mix it in and I can leave it out. I make chicken with salad, but also make a side because I will have a bigger salad and none or less of the side and he will have less of the salad and more of the side. I only use wheat pasta if it is 'hidden' in something he can't taste it in (ie casseroles), and I leave cheese toppings off to be added on a plate by plate basis. If I put tofu in the stir fry I cook it in a separate pan and don't mix it in the whole pot. I also take out my portion before adding the calorie laden sauce, as I prefer it without. I would NEVER cook a separate meal for him though, or something I won't eat, just because it's something he wants (not on a regular basis at least. I do sometimes make things he prefers more than I do, (ie tacos - I hate tacos) but only on occasion since it's about compromise.)

look i'm sure i sain that that is not what i am trying to say.. you put it in better words than i did but i ment the same thing. if you realy want something you will find a way to make it work.

now that said i think you are the only women that posted here said something different then if he don't like it than to hell with him. some time we have to do things sometimes that is the life we entered into or how thing happened. not if the spouse is just being an *kitten* then to hell with him but it life is one way for ever and you deside to change things up one day because you wana do something an have the the att. that if you don't like it then hell with yopu 1 of 2 thing will happen you will give up because he will be a *kitten* to you or you will be so unhappy that everday will be one day closer to a break up. now like you said "there is compromise"