what did we do 20 years ago

That_Girl

Kids these days are raised to not think. Parents hover over them and tell them when to eat, what to do, how to do something, why to do it, etc. They stand over their children at the park and repeat "be careful" 1000000 times. Poor Johnny can't learn his own limitations because Mommy and Daddy keep telling him what they are.

These children cannot reason, think, problem solve or do anything that doesn't require an adult's approval.

When I was a kid, we'd build stuff. Sometimes the tree house worked. Sometimes it didn't. When it didn't, we fell. It hurt...but we knew what to do better the next time.

I do not hover over my children or my students. If their first try doesn't work, they better try it again or it won't get done (I do not step in and help). Kids these days have no sense of self pride. They expect things INSTANTLY instead of working hard for them. If they can't do it right the first time, they don't want to do it at all.

There are many battles in my home (my 11 year old) and my classroom (5th grade) where the kids want "help". They don't want help, they want me to do it and I refuse. Tears, pleads, and sad faces cannot break me. Frustration is good. Disappointment is good. Through both of those things, determination is born. Nowadays, kids don't get to experience those feelings because everyone is so concerned about "hurting their self esteem". Screw that. Teach kids to buck up and work hard for what they want. I'm not here to boost anyone's self esteem....and the real world certainly doesn't give a crap about it.

I am said to be a hard teacher....and yet, my students come back to visit all the time to talk or get 'the straight stuff' as some say.

I'm worried for our future...I think parents need to stop worrying about their child's feelings and worry more about raising a productive, self-loving, empathetic and passionate adult.

MobiusMan

Kids these days are raised to not think. Parents hover over them and tell them when to eat, what to do, how to do something, why to do it, etc. They stand over their children at the park and repeat "be careful" 1000000 times. Poor Johnny can't learn his own limitations because Mommy and Daddy keep telling him what they are.

These children cannot reason, think, problem solve or do anything that doesn't require an adult's approval.

When I was a kid, we'd build stuff. Sometimes the tree house worked. Sometimes it didn't. When it didn't, we fell. It hurt...but we knew what to do better the next time.

I do not hover over my children or my students. If their first try doesn't work, they better try it again or it won't get done (I do not step in and help). Kids these days have no sense of self pride. They expect things INSTANTLY instead of working hard for them. If they can't do it right the first time, they don't want to do it at all.

There are many battles in my home (my 11 year old) and my classroom (5th grade) where the kids want "help". They don't want help, they want me to do it and I refuse. Tears, pleads, and sad faces cannot break me. Frustration is good. Disappointment is good. Through both of those things, determination is born. Nowadays, kids don't get to experience those feelings because everyone is so concerned about "hurting their self esteem". Screw that. Teach kids to buck up and work hard for what they want. I'm not here to boost anyone's self esteem....and the real world certainly doesn't give a crap about it.

I am said to be a hard teacher....and yet, my students come back to visit all the time to talk or get 'the straight stuff' as some say.

I'm worried for our future...I think parents need to stop worrying about their child's feelings and worry more about raising a productive, self-loving, empathetic and passionate adult.

AMEN

MobiusMan

I have a friend that only lets his son play (7yo) non-score T-ball because he doesn't want him to "be a loser". My kids learned to take an *kitten* whippin' on the court or field or soccer field without dad or mom protecting their feelings. All thre excelled in their sports and activities and were team leaders. with failure comes wisdom. It's not how many times you fall it's how many times you pick yourself back up.

That_Girl

Yea. Many kids these days are soft. We forget that while they are children NOW, they will be real adults in a few years. Raise them to work hard and keep getting back up.

I can't stand all the "feel good" crap these days. Really? That prepares them for the real world how? So my boss will care if my feelings are hurt when I don't do my job and she reprimands me? Heh. Right. Buck up.

not2late

Tch! What a bunch of Luddites! 20 years ago the world was full of fat, unhealthy, rude, anti social people and people who generally didn't give a monkeys, much as it is today.

If one mixes the usage of modern technology with a "back in the day..." attitude there can be some interesting personal and social consequences.

20 years ago we had answering machines and pagers. a pager could go off mid meal and if a person was so inclined the could stop a conversation to read that all important page. They might then use a restaurant phone to dial up their answering machine and use a mobile tone generating pad to listen to the important message.

30 years ago we had the SInclair/Timex ZX81 computer with monochrome tennis games gluing kids to the sofa. 20 years ago in the explosion of computer games, the Atari was king and Donkey Kong and Super Mario fuelling the addiction. I worked in an amusment arcade around that time, kids who didn't have their own games spent hours on arcade games like Defender, or were spellbound by the original Tron game, released with the original movie.

Relationships have changed. Getting into them is easier, with a "Hi, hun...." on a web site/forum, and getting out of them can be very public. I have watched one of my daughters BF/GF relationships unravel real time on Facebook with BF changing status from "in a relationship" to "it's complicated" and watching the "OMG!" comments and polarisation of "M8s".

I don't think that any of this is intrisically good or bad. It is how we react to the change and support eachother and our children that counts.

NYIceQueen

20 years ago (well let's do a bit more...24) I was riding a bike around the neighborhood on my own, only one phone in the house, TV had knobs and an antenna, etc. I enjoyed riding my bike around every day, which combined with my dancing i'm sure helped to keep me in shape.

I would walk from the dance studio a block to get a juice between classes, which was great exercise, too.

HOWEVER, on that walk, a man tried to kidnap me. It was the last time I tried that walk.

And about 6 months after we moved out of that really nice neighborhood we lived in, we drove by our old house to see bullet holes on the glass that would've been my bedroom window. Our neighbor's son was also gunned down while riding a bike around the area.

So now, I dont let my daughter ride her bike around other than in the driveway, and I sure as heck don't let her even go the 50 feet by herself to check the mailbox like I used to.

Living in Buffalo, the air isn't great so when we finally have good weather, the smog alert kicks in. So yes, being inside stinks and leads to obesity, etc yada yada yada...but the alternatives in today's society for most of us aren't so great either. Took kids to the park to find beer cans and needles so that was out as an option. And that's when the parks are actually open.

So we play games at home, computer use isnt allowed yet for her, she dances with me/runs around with her brother. We try to keep them moving as much as possible :-)

backinthenines

Funny we just talked about that at work.
When I was a kid we were always playing outside. We were on our bikes, on rollerskates, climbing trees etc. As long as we were home for dinner time and parents had a vague idea where we were there was little “adult supervision”. There wasn’t this parental paranoia and “stranger danger” that we have now. I think it’s ridiculous that 8-year olds are strutting around with their own mobile phones!!!!
There is an interesting series in the UK called “Child of our Times”. It’s effectively a longitudinal social study of children who were all born on 1.1.2000. They are followed up on an annual basis in terms of their physical, social, psychological, educational development and come from various social circles. I think it was in 2009 when they looked at child’s play and measured how much time these children spend in front of a “screen” or other, and how much was spent in “unstructured play” (i.e. not going to a club for some structured activity). It was a real shocker just how much time these kids spent online, playing computer games or watching TV!!! No wonder they are so unfit. Part of the problem was the parents not allowing the kids outside on their own. They were asked a question, who let their child walk to the corner shop to buy some milk for example, and hardly any of them did. This false sense of “protecting children” is actually putting them at huge risks in other ways, but seems that people can’t see that.

backinthenines

[/quote]
one if my biggest pet peevs is watching people in restaurants.. 6 young college students sitting at a table together.. 5 of them all busy texting or playing games on their cell phones.
[/quote]

You see families doing this!!!
I was at an airport recently and there they all were... dad on a mini laptop, mum on her Blackberry, and the kids on Nintendos and nobody talking to each other!!!!

Jain

I have a very strict rule in my house that while on the table (home or at a restaurant) no texting/BB/Nintendo DS, Ipod etc. Yes, it would be a lot easier if they were glued to the DS and not thinking about running around a restaurant after finished eating, but kids need to know how to behave at a restaurant, or need to understand family time is family time.

I have left friends at restaurants because they couldn't turn off their freakin phone while with me. I didn't drive 45 miles to sit alone. I can do that at home in my jammies LOL

I have no problem excusing myself and leaving. They don't pull that crap a 2nd time.

Fantastic! I wish I had the nerve to do that!

I have a mobile phone but almost never have it with me, and it's so old it's just about steam powered! About the only times I do carry it are at music festivals in case my DH & I get split up and while hiking in case of an emergency.

not2late

one if my biggest pet peevs is watching people in restaurants.. 6 young college students sitting at a table together.. 5 of them all busy texting or playing games on their cell phones.
[/quote]

You see families doing this!!!
I was at an airport recently and there they all were... dad on a mini laptop, mum on her Blackberry, and the kids on Nintendos and nobody talking to each other!!!!
[/quote]

They might have been talking to each other using, MSN

backinthenines

I have left friends at restaurants because they couldn't turn off their freakin phone while with me. I didn't drive 45 miles to sit alone. I can do that at home in my jammies LOL
I have no problem excusing myself and leaving. They don't pull that crap a 2nd time.

I LOVE that!! :laugh:

Carl01

I was born in 1964,my father in 1905 and his father in 1850 so through those 3 generations the telephone went from being non existent to rare to that 4 lb black thing with a dial I grew up with to what they are today.
Along the way horses gave way to autos,traveling easily to any part of the world developed,etc.

My high school had a computer room...there was one computer in it and it filled the room,just was a novelty thing,and now here we all sit at one or carry one in a hip pocket
Test papers were mimeographs with ink that reeked,the TV only had 3 channels to watch and if you were bored out here in the country you went outside for walks or whatever you could to entertain yourself.

Point is that through out you could pick any 20-30 year "ago" time period and write the same,it is the nature if our lives and the change we go through.
Personally I don`t like some of it (texting non stop or always talking on a cell phone) but it is the same progression I suppose that older generations then me disliked about television.

porcelain_doll

I think it's affecting our (well maybe not all of us) ability to socialize as we are getting used to meeting and talking to people online instead of face-to-face. It seems like kids especially are more comfortable having conversations via texting than talking. I don't really think that is good for socialization. We were made to interact and be in each other's presence. My 12-year-old nephew will sit and text with a friend, or a girl, for hours at a time. I can't help but wonder if they could've had that same conversation in 15 min. if they would've just called each other or talked in person!

My brother and I used to fight over our landline phone like crazy growing up. I would have killed to have my own cell phone during those years. So technology is good for something in that regard! We didn't have the internet until I was about 15. It had just become available and I thought it was the coolest thing, even if I had to wait to dial in and connect. I remember the first time I chatted with someone online playing a game. I just thought it was amazing that I was talking to someone on the other side of the world!

NYIceQueen

Funny we just talked about that at work.
When I was a kid we were always playing outside. We were on our bikes, on rollerskates, climbing trees etc. As long as we were home for dinner time and parents had a vague idea where we were there was little “adult supervision”. There wasn’t this parental paranoia and “stranger danger” that we have now. I think it’s ridiculous that 8-year olds are strutting around with their own mobile phones!!!!
There is an interesting series in the UK called “Child of our Times”. It’s effectively a longitudinal social study of children who were all born on 1.1.2000. They are followed up on an annual basis in terms of their physical, social, psychological, educational development and come from various social circles. I think it was in 2009 when they looked at child’s play and measured how much time these children spend in front of a “screen” or other, and how much was spent in “unstructured play” (i.e. not going to a club for some structured activity). It was a real shocker just how much time these kids spent online, playing computer games or watching TV!!! No wonder they are so unfit. Part of the problem was the parents not allowing the kids outside on their own. They were asked a question, who let their child walk to the corner shop to buy some milk for example, and hardly any of them did. This false sense of “protecting children” is actually putting them at huge risks in other ways, but seems that people can’t see that.

It also really depends on where you live. My brother-in-law allows his daughter to go to the corner store (she's 12) but it's an actual corner store. My nearest "Corner store" is about 1 mile down a very busy highway with no sidewalks, and especially in winter (Buffalo) the snow piles on the side force folks waiting for the bus to stand on the actual road. No place for a 9 yo girl.

And no offense, but pretty sure if I let my 9 yo walk that mile to the store to "teach her independence" some cop would grab her and bring her home and arrest ME or something like that.

And based on my own experience, stranger danger is very real. I was lucky. Lots of others have not.

Bootzey

I am completely flabbergasted over the popularity of Wii. Why would you choose to do that virtually, over going outside and doing it physically.

heathersmilez

We own one pay-as-you-go cell that we keep in the car we drive to work daily in so it costs less than $20 a year to add money for "emergencies-only" which are actually usually rare occurrences that I need to be contacted while out somewhere busy.

We are only 28 so very much part of the cell generation (but it didn’t hit us until mid-high school) and you can reach us during the day at work, at home in the evenings and during our commute we DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU!! If I'm grocery shopping, at the gym whatever, why does someone need to reach me?

And yes, our friends still love us and we see them regularly

KristenAnn711

I was a year old. Probably drooling and crawling around

Tass175

Yeah phone books just dont get used in our house except for recycling. As far as cell phones, I hardly use them, love my land line. My son goes out and plays he is very limited on any tv use weather it be video games or movies, and we do not have cable.

hooah_mj

2 and a half channels on the tube to choose from, on the only set in the house.

mama'd yell out the window when supper was ready.

5 miles to school or the pool on our bikes, I was 10.

barefoot at 3:05, regardless of the scorching sidewalk on the way home from school.

when mama said, "I'll give you something to cry about" SHE MEANT IT

Aw, those were the days :bigsmile: