For the underweight individuals on MFP

LOVEsummer

***Let me just state that I don't think that eating disorders are a good idea, healthy or smart***

To the people on here who are "underweight"

I am friends with many individuals on MFP who are or have struggled with an ED, I'm one of them. For some people, eating 1000 cals a day is a huge improvement and I am so proud of anyone who is taking steps to recovery, even if it means you eat 1000 now instead of 600. Struggling with an ED can be just as hard as being overweight. I wish more people were sensitive to the other side of the weight issue spectrum.
Not every skinny girl/guy can "eat whatever she/he wants" as so many seem to think. Some of those girls are fighting huge internal battles, fasting all day to be able to eat a meal out with their friends. Hating themselves for eating that cupcake at work that their coworker guilted them into... My coworkers always say "Oh, I shouldn't eat that...but Ashley you don't even have to worry about anything... must be nice." I want to slap them. Seriously. I wake up at 5am every morning and work my A** off for an hour... rain or shine or cold as hell. I pack my lunch, I don't drink, I count my calories... I tough it out. That is why I look the way I do... I don't eat a large pizza every night and then just wake up fitting into a size 2 pant.
When I started recovering from an unhealthily restricted diet, eating 1000 calories made me feel SO guilty. It was hard... I had to teach myself to be both mentally and physically ok with eating enough. I reached out to many people on MFP and they helped me through. I love that support.
I have so much respect for anyone who is working hard. Whether you weigh less than you should and you're trying to work back to a healthy lifestyle or you weigh more than you should and you are trying to lose weight for health... even the people just trying to maintain... whatever you are doing, if you are working hard and making an effort to be healthier than you were yesterday... you deserve everyone's support.

I wish more people would understand how much harsh words can hurt both the thin and the heavy...

That is all.

FearAnLoathing

♥Faerie♥

This is why you are my friend...Hugs to you!♥

thecanface

i'm no longer "underweight" but when i was i used to get that all the time. telling someone they are "WAY TOO SKINNY" is just as hurtful as telling someone they are "wayy tooo fat". Thanks for this. even though i am no longer in that boat i completely know what you mean.

TheMaidOfAstolat

Thank you!!! I've struggled since I was 10.....and some people on this site need to realize that there are others on this site that are trying to gain or maintain and not slip up....not lose weight.

taso42_DELETED

bump

ickybella

Love this! People should be aware of and sensitive to both extremes here.

savannahgur

bump

McBody

Great post- thanks! I've struggled with body image issues for a long time... even at 5'8", wearing a size 3- I still manage to feel huge. It's tough and I don't think people understand that being on the other side of the spectrum is just as much of a struggle.

ajbeans

Thanks for this. I'm currently trying to lose weight, but I used to be very thin. I got a lot of comments, and it was hurtful. Then after my first child was born I had a really hard time keeping any weight on because the baby nursed around the clock and I wasn't getting enough sleep, so my body was running on fumes and I was thinner than I'd ever been. A "friend" would tell me, every time she saw me, how skeletal I looked, how thin my face was. Didn't I ever eat? Maybe I should have a sandwich. Was I trying to be anorexic or something? Look, my kneecaps were sticking out! On and on and on. It was awful. I stopped hanging out with her because it was so hurtful.

I've never understood why it's ok to poke fun at someone for being too thin but not for being overweight. It's still a criticism, either way, and criticism is hurtful. I wish more people understood that.

NanBar

I do not think this should be for the underweight individuals on MFP- it should be for ALL the individuals on MFP...acceptance, kindness (and just knowing when to keep your dang mouth shut) should be taught at an early age; unfortunately, in many cases it is quickly and COMPLETELY forgotten when people step behind the cloak of their computer ...and they say things that are inappropriate and just plain mean.

Thank you for a well thought out, eloquent reminder that you should never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes.

thecanface

I do not think this should be for the underweight individuals on MFP- it should be for ALL the individuals on MFP...acceptance, kindness (and just knowing when to keep your dang mouth shut) should be taught at an early age; unfortunately, in many cases it is quickly and COMPLETELY forgotten when people step behind the cloak of their computer ...and they say things that are inappropriate and just plain mean.

Thank you for a well thought out, eloquent reminder that you should never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes.

i agree, but unfortunately people are too scared to tell someone they are too fat... obviously they know if they are over weight, and dont need someone pointing it out.. but why arent they scared to tell someone how they feel about them being too thin? do they not think that person knows that not eating all day but for a peice of cheese is not healthy? i'm sure they know they are underweight, so why point it out in such a rude manner? but all of the "EXPERTS" (Idiots who started going to the gym in January because its a new year) suddenly need to tell someone what they are doing wrong.

pisses me off!

FearAnLoathing

I do not think this should be for the underweight individuals on MFP- it should be for ALL the individuals on MFP...acceptance, kindness (and just knowing when to keep your dang mouth shut) should be taught at an early age; unfortunately, in many cases it is quickly and COMPLETELY forgotten when people step behind the cloak of their computer ...and they say things that are inappropriate and just plain mean.

Thank you for a well thought out, eloquent reminder that you should never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes.

i agree, but unfortunately people are too scared to tell someone they are too fat... obviously they know if they are over weight, and dont need someone pointing it out.. but why arent they scared to tell someone how they feel about them being too thin? do they not think that person knows that not eating all day but for a peice of cheese is not healthy? i'm sure they know they are underweight, so why point it out in such a rude manner? but all of the "EXPERTS" (Idiots who started going to the gym in January because its a new year) suddenly need to tell someone what they are doing wrong.

pisses me off!

:flowerforyou:

Raina0512

This is why you are my friend...Hugs to you!♥

erinkate82

This is a great post! Thanks for making my day!! :happy:

ican♥and♥iwill

What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing.

Kityngirl

♥jewelchristian♥

:flowerforyou:

Unknown

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loganaw

i love this post. thanks so much for posting it. i agree with you. having been overweight and now nearing underweight due to restricted eating/disordered eating, i know what it's like at both ends of the spectrum. when i was overweight, i loved the phrase "real women have curves" because i felt it JUSTIFIED me being overweight. now, i hate that phrase. it is so far from the truth. i DON'T have those same curves anymore and i am a REAL woman. so thanks for this.

Flawlessk

I completely agree! Where are people's manners and what gives them the right to slag off someone else's appearance?

A good friend of mine has always been a UK6, her family are all quite small, it is the way her body is built. She struggles to put weight on. But people always had to comment and say hurtful things.
One day she had enough....she went home and ate everything she could put her hands on, before being violently sick for 3 days. She was then sent to an ED clinic as an inpatient.

Until that point she had always been a confident and bubbly person. Hurtful words made her see herself differently

She is now a UK6 and is beautiful, happy and once again confident because she doesn't listen to other people.

xxx

jaylu

very well said

NanBar

I do not think this should be for the underweight individuals on MFP- it should be for ALL the individuals on MFP...acceptance, kindness (and just knowing when to keep your dang mouth shut) should be taught at an early age; unfortunately, in many cases it is quickly and COMPLETELY forgotten when people step behind the cloak of their computer ...and they say things that are inappropriate and just plain mean.

Thank you for a well thought out, eloquent reminder that you should never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes.

i agree, but unfortunately people are too scared to tell someone they are too fat... obviously they know if they are over weight, and dont need someone pointing it out.. but why arent they scared to tell someone how they feel about them being too thin? do they not think that person knows that not eating all day but for a peice of cheese is not healthy? i'm sure they know they are underweight, so why point it out in such a rude manner? but all of the "EXPERTS" (Idiots who started going to the gym in January because its a new year) suddenly need to tell someone what they are doing wrong.

pisses me off!

You may have misunderstood what I was saying here...My meaning was- everyone should read this because there is no reason ANYONE needs to be judging anyone on what they are or what they are not eating. It is wrong and plain rude.

I support your post 100%.

schnarfo

so glad i read this post.thank you for posting this and for all the kinds words of support u have given to me as my friend on mpf x

JoanHolly

i loved this post thank you

kimiel

I used to get those remarks all the time! I was naturally thin no matter what or how much I ate! I wanted to be more curvy, but it wasn't how I was built! Those comments were very hurtful!

Behavior_Modification

I support this topic 100% but this comment ruffled my feathers.

i agree, but unfortunately people are too scared to tell someone they are too fat...

Since WHEN????

Jaedynmoon

I completely agree with you and thank you for this post. In 2004 I was working out for hours a day and only eating MAYBE 700 calories. I had been doing my weight loss journey in a healthy fashion until I just became obsessive with over exercising and calories in. It took a lot from family and friends to get me out of that part of my life and to be okay eating food again. I do have to constantly remind myself not to over do/obsess over either because I know the temptation of falling back into that cycle. I cringe when I read some of the things people say regarding eating disorders because people are so judgmental/uneducated on the subject. A lot of people work really hard to be healthy and fit and those comments a lot of people just throw around are so unhelpful and annoying. You look great and you should be so proud of your commitment to rockin' it out everyday!

tgh1914

Ok. So I'd like to hear, from those that have been or are going thru it, just what is good to do or say to someone suffering from an ED? What helped you? What encouraged you the right way?

Obviously it's not hearing that you're "too skinny" or not "eating right". I'm sure you kinda know that. But what about just constantly hearing the right kind of eating advice? Is the problem really a lack of knowledge, or something deeper? (I kinda think it's much deeper), but what do you do if you just wanna help someone? I've had a couple in my life suffering, but still don't claim to have the answers.

What helps you the most?

TheMaidOfAstolat

Ok. So I'd like to hear, from those that have been or are going thru it, just what is good to do or say to someone suffering from an ED? What helped you? What encouraged you the right way?

Obviously it's not hearing that you're "too skinny" or not "eating right". I'm sure you kinda know that. But what about just constantly hearing the right kind of eating advice? Is the problem really a lack of knowledge, or something deeper? (I kinda think it's much deeper), but what do you do if you just wanna help someone? I've had a couple in my life suffering, but still don't claim to have the answers.

What helps you the most?

For some with EDs it's about the food with others it's not. Mine was purely because it was all I could control in my life. When life spiraled out of control when I was 10 I realized that the only thing I had control over was my body. Restricting food was a natural reaction to stress for me. No one even noticed that I lost weight because of all the turmoil that was going on. I was sitting in Health class in 7th grade and we were learning about EDs and it dawned on me as to what I was doing to my body. I never had professional help.
The best way to help is to listen...pure and simple. They may suffer because of stress and not weight. If it is about weight, maybe try suggesting an alternative you can do together....go hiking but eat healthier. Commenting on it rarely works and it usually backfires and they will learn to hide it better. I went 3 years with no one noticing...from 80 pounds to nearly 60...and I was 13. Very very unhealthy (I'm also very tiny to begin with)....but I killed my metabolism and I am still trying to correct it and I'm now 26 years old. I hope this helps.

stevemcknight

i agree, but unfortunately people are too scared to tell someone they are too fat... obviously they know if they are over weight, and dont need someone pointing it out.. but why arent they scared to tell someone how they feel about them being too thin? do they not think that person knows that not eating all day but for a peice of cheese is not healthy? i'm sure they know they are underweight, so why point it out in such a rude manner? but all of the "EXPERTS" (Idiots who started going to the gym in January because its a new year) suddenly need to tell someone what they are doing wrong.

pisses me off!

Agreed. The "experts" kill me. I struggle every day with BED and I think people who simply overeat think it's the same thing. Thank God for my therapist who saved me from spiraling even further. Both sides of the coin are hard lives to go through and I support anyone actively trying to make a change.

Goooooooo people!!!!