Learning How to Cook

KrystalLight03

I've lived on my own for about 8 months now, but I'm just now getting the courage to use my kitchen. I've had my fair share of disasters which eventually led to my parents banning me from the kitchen. People may think "Oh, it can't possibly be that bad." but I assure you that it is. I've summarized my worst of the worst.

Microwave Disaster #1:
I burnt Spaghetti O's charcoal black in the microwave. The MICROWAVE. I don't even know how this happened.

Microwave Disaster #2:
I was really craving a peanut butter and fluff sandwich, but we had no fluff. I was told I could create fluff by putting a marshmallow in the microwave. A loud bang shortly later made my mom come running.
Mom: What are you doing?!
Me: You said I should put a marshmallow in the microwave. That's what I'm doing.
Mom: How long has it been in there?
Me: Uh, only about a minute...

Mac & Cheese:
I'm not sure what happened. All I know is that I put a spoon in there to scoop it out and the spoon got stuck. I flipped the pot over and nothing came out. I tried chiseling the mac & cheese out of the pot, but the knife got stuck. My parents lost a pot, spoon, and knife that day. I lost a lunch that I was really looking forward to.

Attention Span Issues:
I was digging around in the freezer one day and found a forgotten package of bacon. I decided to cook the bacon. My friend called me, and I left the kitchen to find the phone. Two and a half hours later I remembered that I was cooking bacon.

I was making a grilled cheese on the ol' George Foreman. I got distracted...probably by something shiny or an infomercial on TV. My mom came home from work many hours later.
Mom: Krystal, did you try cooking again?
Me: Oh my gosh, my grilled cheese!

Doesn't Read Directions Issues:
I threw away the box to the chicken nuggets before I read how long I was supposed to put them in the oven. 30 minutes sounded like a reasonable amount of time. Black crusty rock nuggets told me otherwise.

Stupidity Issues:
I meant to put my oatmeal in the microwave for 2 minutes and 30 seconds. I must have pressed an extra 0. I left the kitchen to go get ready for school. I never heard the microwave beep, but I figured that I just didn't hear it because I was in another room. I decided to leave it in there and I'd go get it when I was done and ready to eat. Yeah, I cooked my oatmeal for nearly 20 minutes.

...so I'm wondering if there are any other culinary-challenged individuals out there? Also, does anyone have any recipes or meals they make that are super duper easy for said culinary-challenged? If not, feel free to share your kitchen disasters....I'd love to read them!

stuartme123

Great stories! :laugh:

I am technically banned from using my friend's microwave because I would tell him what I did to mine whenever there was an incident. My best was blowing up oatmeal. Put in too much water and figured I'd just leave it in longer so more would evaporate. When I opened the microwave, there was oatmeal everywhere!

That was four years ago, and now I have oatmeal every morning and haven't screwed it up in years (with the exception of spilling some on my keyboard the other day - but that's not cooking related, that's just being clutzy!)

I sometimes have the attention span issues. Left frozen veggies baking in the oven. My roommate came home about an hour later. "Did you cook something." "No.... Oh *kitten*!" Black, charred veggies :frown:

But my roommate's worse. We were making dinner together once. I took care of the chicken and veggies and marinade and all she had to do was the rice. She ended up catching the oven mitt in between the pot of rice and the burner. It caught on fire. There were flames. She has done this twice. :laugh: She also had to make a huge batch of scratch macaroni and cheese for a meeting, so I gave her a recipe that I had used successfully a few times. Don't know how, but while the sauce was still mostly milk and corn starch, she burned it. We're still trying to get the black stuff off the bottom of the pot...

The best way to deal with attention span issues is to STAY IN THE KITCHEN while something is cooking. I'll wash dishes and wipe down counters or put away things that have accumulated so that I can keep my eye on whatever's in the oven/on the stove and keep my mind on my meal. Also, setting an alarm on your phone may be a good idea - always better to have multiple timers!

You don't need to be a culinary genius to have success in the kitchen. Just be confident and keep your wits about you!

janesmith1

http://www.allrecipes.com can tell you how to boil water. They're a great resource! Also there's the new Google Recipe View which is pretty awesome! I never learned to cook growing up but now I'm a great cook because it's just a matter of measuring and following recipes!! And you can do it!!!!

Panda_Jack

Great stories! Like the previous poster use allrecipes.com, they have some great slow cooker recipes. slow cookers are great for the culinary challenged because you can just add everything in the morning and by the time you get home from work/school all the cookings done!

janesmith1

Just want to add that cookinglight.com has free recipes.....and for us at MFP their recipes should be totally helpful, they are LIGHTER than regular recipes.

Then when you get more advanced come to cookillustrated.com & join or buy their LIGHT recipe books - there's a Cooks Illustrated Light & Healthy 2011 out RIGHT NOW that you may want to pick up from Costco or your local health food/Whole Foods store.

Atlantique

OMG, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. You are a menace, girl! :noway: :laugh:

misty589

Get a slow cooker and STAY AWAY from the microwave!!!

ps I second (or third?) the allrecipes suggestion, I LOVE that site

KrystalLight03

I will definitely be checking out allrecipes! I do have a slow cooker, but I always forget I have a slow cooker. I think I may have to attempt a roast or something soon.

fittocycle

Thanks for bringing a smile to my face today. Cute stories!

When my children were toddlers, we were having a about 20 people over for a cookout. I was running around the house beforehand, trying to tidy things up. I gathered up some dirty clothes and with the clothes in hand, took something out of the oven. A short time later, I noticed the most horrendous smell. I had dropped a dirty sock in the oven when I took the food out! Thank goodness it was spring and I could open the windows to air out the house before company arrived!