Binge, binge, binge...

poptart1977
poptart1977 Posts: 3
edited September 24 in Motivation and Support
I joined MFP about 13-15 months ago and was determined to lose weight cos I felt just awful. Weighing in at 98.5kgs I felt fat, frumpy, unhealthy, non-engergetic etc... :sad: For a few months I followed the calorie suggestion of MFP and checked in religiously everyday with my food intake, exercise done and it worked. The weight started to drop off and I'd lost 7kgs. I felt better and could get into trousers I hadn't been able to wear for years!! :bigsmile:

However, as usual, me being me, I got bored because I wasn't losing the weight fast enough and I gradually stopped checking in everyday and in the end I just gave up. I still tried to control my calorie intake and do some exercise but because I wasn't writing it down I lost track of it all. That was about 8-9 months ago and surprise surprise, most of the weight I'd lost crept back on and I went back up to 96kg. I kept lying to myself that as long as I didn't go back up to what I'd started at I was ok... :ohwell:

I've been :sick: for the past 4 months. During the first 2 months I was in so much pain and on so many painkillers that I had no appetite at all. The weight dropped off me, understandably, and I went from 96kg to 80kg (176lbs) just by lying in bed, sleeping and not eating! If I wasn't in such pain I'd swear it was the best and easiest diet I'd ever been on!! :laugh: When I began to feel better 2 months ago this, unfortunately, meant my appetite also returned. :grumble: I was careful at first but over Christmas and the New Year my resolve went and I pigged out something rotten and my weight went up to 84kgs. I tried to be careful after this but I was never really committed again so my weight yoyo'd between 82-84kgs. :indifferent:

The real problem is over the past 2 weeks I've binged like mad and can't stop and I'm back up to 86kgs! :angry: :sad: I'm signed off work due to my illness so I'm stuck at home with nothing to do and can't exercise just yet, again due to my illness which affects my mobility. :yawn: My sleep pattern is all over the place and I sleep pretty much all day but am awake all through the night so I binge on whatever I can get my hands on. I even sneak sweets, crisps, cakes and chocolate into the house and hide them so my boyfriend doesn't know and eat them when he's gone to bed. I know I'm fooling/hurting no-one but myself. :embarassed: :frown:

I know exactly why its happened. It's because I'm bored and have nothing else to do so I reach for food. I've always been the same. :angry: I need to get back on track and that's why I've come back on here. To hopefully get some motivation and support to start again.

Has anyone else got into such a rut that they can't see themselves getting out?

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