Machine Gun urge...

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  • AlbertSchwartz
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    Oh.... and definitly no machine guns :wink: Karma's a b***h and what goes around comes around!

    well ok, but she broke my heart would the machine gun not be her karma? lol
  • AlbertSchwartz
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    Yeah i was in the dark place too...

    About a month ago i felt good and felt the new me was better than i was before, but this last 2 - 3 weeks i've been a bit down again
  • mholmes
    mholmes Posts: 949 Member
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    Oh.... and definitly no machine guns :wink: Karma's a b***h and what goes around comes around!

    well ok, but she broke my heart would the machine gun not be her karma? lol
    :laugh: Um... "kiissshh* Negative - over *kiissshh*
  • AlbertSchwartz
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    Oh.... and definitly no machine guns :wink: Karma's a b***h and what goes around comes around!

    well ok, but she broke my heart would the machine gun not be her karma? lol
    :laugh: Um... "kiissshh* Negative - over *kiissshh*

    i'll take that as a yes lol
  • AlbertSchwartz
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    btw you guys are all great!...
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    Hey Al! Not much else to say that hasn't already been said...so....here "HUG!!!!*

    :flowerforyou:
    -Tam
  • AlbertSchwartz
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    Al, as someone who has had the urge to machine gun my ex more than once I can tell you that eventually it goes away. I don't hate my ex anymore...actually I pity her. I went to face her one last time (had to do with finalizing divorce stuff) after not seeing her in person in 8 months. When she saw me her face blanched, and she started stammering over her words like a fool. I was distant and cold, and I could tell it killed her to see me healthy and looking cute (she even commented on how good I looked...I answered her with a nice curt 'thanks'.) When I looked at her growing stomach (she's pregnant by the guy she cheated with) and then looked at her she started crying. She tried to give me a hug but I rebuffed her, I don't need her for that anymore (just as she didn't need me apparently not so long ago).

    The best part is that I was able to walk away from her and get in my car with the best most beautiful woman I have ever known (that would be Manda...)

    Point being, yes, life sucks and so does she. But eventually things get so much better that you never would have believed how wonderful it could be. I am so much happier now than I ever was with her. And I pity her knowing that she will never have the joy that I have now.

    It gets better Albert, I promise.

    I did feel a month ago that I was uber, Harder, better faster,stronger than i was before, i'm not sure if its the recent contact that has put me in this mood, and also the over use of the machine gun in GTA4 lol
  • TNTPete
    TNTPete Posts: 701 Member
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    You are upset and reasonably so, all of these emotions do eventually change. My ex left me while I was stationed in overseas on a remote so... I know how ya feel. Hate does take a while to leave, you then, miss her cause that's what you've known for some time, after a longer time you don't miss, then if you're lucky you forgive yourself and maybe even her. Doesn't seem that way right now so VENT, VENT, VENT :sad: :mad: :explode: :noway: and maybe find a support group that can help you through the tough times.

    In the end, give yourself time to heal because you deserve to be loved by someone who loves you back.

    I am sorry this happened to you, no one deserves it but --

    hhmmm... sonething that does concern me is that we were both deeply in love at one point and at some point along the way she lost feelings for me, how can i trust again? I don't think i can...

    You can't see it right now give it time. First, heal thyself - then ask later (that's my eightball response). I don't know the whole story but I do know that when problems arise woman get quiet and men tend to view that as things are better but they are actually worse... I dunno if this applies. Besides - right now we are at the hate stage -- so hating her for ya!! :grumble:

    Feel better.
  • AlbertSchwartz
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    Al,

    Join a kick boxing class! That'll kick your behind! Actually, my dad always said, living well is the best revenge. I never really believe him till I went through my divorce.

    After all the hate and sadness, I found a fantastic man, ONCE I learned to let go. (BTW I will probably never forgive, but that's a different story)

    yeah i was thinking that, I'm a first dan in Aikido, and study Tia Chi and chiese boxing for a number of years, all of which insidently i stopped when i met my wife. I think i might have to start up again...
  • AlbertSchwartz
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    You are upset and reasonably so, all of these emotions do eventually change. My ex left me while I was stationed in overseas on a remote so... I know how ya feel. Hate does take a while to leave, you then, miss her cause that's what you've known for some time, after a longer time you don't miss, then if you're lucky you forgive yourself and maybe even her. Doesn't seem that way right now so VENT, VENT, VENT :sad: :mad: :explode: :noway: and maybe find a support group that can help you through the tough times.

    In the end, give yourself time to heal because you deserve to be loved by someone who loves you back.

    I am sorry this happened to you, no one deserves it but --

    hhmmm... sonething that does concern me is that we were both deeply in love at one point and at some point along the way she lost feelings for me, how can i trust again? I don't think i can...

    You can't see it right now give it time. First, heal thyself - then ask later (that's my eightball response). I don't know the whole story but I do know that when problems arise woman get quiet and men tend to view that as things are better but they are actually worse... I dunno if this applies. Besides - right now we are at the hate stage -- so hating her for ya!! :grumble:

    Feel better.


    lol, thanks. I a nice feeling that people all over the world hate her :happy:
  • sbacon1203
    sbacon1203 Posts: 307 Member
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    You are in my thoughts & prayer for peace of mind.

    Try this site. :flowerforyou:

    http://www.llerrah.com/footprints.htm
  • AJCM
    AJCM Posts: 2,169 Member
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    Sorry to read all this Al... my heart goes out to you. :heart:

    You are better than this, and you will find a better woman...

    Make her JEALOUS with how great and fit you look, and by taking the high road, don't think about machine guns..... :frown:

    Hugs to you! :flowerforyou:
  • AlbertSchwartz
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    Al, as someone who has had the urge to machine gun my ex more than once I can tell you that eventually it goes away. I don't hate my ex anymore...actually I pity her. I went to face her one last time (had to do with finalizing divorce stuff) after not seeing her in person in 8 months. When she saw me her face blanched, and she started stammering over her words like a fool. I was distant and cold, and I could tell it killed her to see me healthy and looking cute (she even commented on how good I looked...I answered her with a nice curt 'thanks'.) When I looked at her growing stomach (she's pregnant by the guy she cheated with) and then looked at her she started crying. She tried to give me a hug but I rebuffed her, I don't need her for that anymore (just as she didn't need me apparently not so long ago).

    The best part is that I was able to walk away from her and get in my car with the best most beautiful woman I have ever known (that would be Manda...)

    Point being, yes, life sucks and so does she. But eventually things get so much better that you never would have believed how wonderful it could be. I am so much happier now than I ever was with her. And I pity her knowing that she will never have the joy that I have now.

    It gets better Albert, I promise.

    Yeah thanks dude, I hoping to not see her in a while and then have my body sculptured by the time i do see her. Right now tho, If she did come back, I love to tell her to F**k off, but i don't know i would i think i would take her back. BUt i know she wouldn't so machine gun 4tw lol
  • AlbertSchwartz
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    Hey Al! Not much else to say that hasn't already been said...so....here "HUG!!!!*

    :flowerforyou:
    -Tam

    woohoo, things are looking up lol
  • AlbertSchwartz
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    Thanks for all the replies, I'm heading to the gym now but will pick this up when i get home. I'll vent some frustrations in the gym, which will be good as i binged on the weekend and did no excersise lol
  • eHarris
    eHarris Posts: 160
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    Al, as someone who has had the urge to machine gun my ex more than once I can tell you that eventually it goes away. I don't hate my ex anymore...actually I pity her. I went to face her one last time (had to do with finalizing divorce stuff) after not seeing her in person in 8 months. When she saw me her face blanched, and she started stammering over her words like a fool. I was distant and cold, and I could tell it killed her to see me healthy and looking cute (she even commented on how good I looked...I answered her with a nice curt 'thanks'.) When I looked at her growing stomach (she's pregnant by the guy she cheated with) and then looked at her she started crying. She tried to give me a hug but I rebuffed her, I don't need her for that anymore (just as she didn't need me apparently not so long ago).

    The best part is that I was able to walk away from her and get in my car with the best most beautiful woman I have ever known (that would be Manda...)

    Point being, yes, life sucks and so does she. But eventually things get so much better that you never would have believed how wonderful it could be. I am so much happier now than I ever was with her. And I pity her knowing that she will never have the joy that I have now.

    It gets better Albert, I promise.

    I did feel a month ago that I was uber, Harder, better faster,stronger than i was before, i'm not sure if its the recent contact that has put me in this mood, and also the over use of the machine gun in GTA4 lol

    My husband is a big game junkie....our living room looks like "Grown Mans Playland" :laugh: We have every console thats come out in the past five years and then some. I think we own stock in Best Buy at this point. But I can't fault him for it since I log more hours than he does.

    I don't think its you Al...or your situation....I'm pretty content in my life right now and playing GTA4 makes me wanna drive my car through red lights, and shoot at people, and use the F-word uncontrollably lol....the game is so addictive! Don't worry ...I'll be crazy with you! :smooched:
  • sbacon1203
    sbacon1203 Posts: 307 Member
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    Beautifully put sgtinvincible!!:flowerforyou:
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    awww big hugs my sweet friend!:flowerforyou:

    you'll get to that happy place again, it just takes time hon....but until then....stay away from machine guns....actually it might just be for the best to stay clear of ALL assault weapons for now......:noway: :ohwell:

    you know I think you rock, and you're still young, and getting more hawt everyday! :wink: lol...and one day you'll find someone to rock your world, and who will appreciate all the kind and caring things you do for her....and then you'll think of your ex and say...your loss biaaaach! ...because it will be! or ya know what will be even better....you won't think of her at all!:wink:

    Most of us have been down this road...and totally understand:heart:

    ....now man up and go put on your pretty new kicks and get out and run that frustration away boy! lol:drinker: :bigsmile:

    hugs!
    ali
  • AlbertSchwartz
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    Thanks for all the reply guys, i just needed to vent i suppose, tho the machine gun is still tempting lol

    I used this bad energy in the gym and burt 1060 cals accoding to my HRM over 1500 according to the machines.

    And yes Ali I will go for a run shortly with my new trainers... wish me luck! lol

    Ohh and on a more positive note, i didn't excersise and ate crap all weekend, mars bars, crisps (chips to you yanks), and dranks loads and loads of coke, and expected a big weigh in especially as i was up when i weighed on friday, but i have no gains lol, and i've lost the gain from friday so i'm back to my previous low. lol
  • GinaB30
    GinaB30 Posts: 725 Member
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    hmm... i feel like i changed the day she left... and don't think i'm as nice as i used to be and am no longer a christian,

    Don't lose your faith because of her and what she did...her choices have nothing to do with who you are..and who you can be.
    I hope you hold tight to your faith during the times of crisis and hardships because during the lows if we don't have God to turn to...we have no one but ourselves and from personal experiance (not divorce, but other things) it's too hard to get through it in our own strength.
    Take care!