Gym Intimidation

Ohladyofavalon1972

I am a big girl. BIG GIRL. I have ALWAYS struggled with weight issues from 2nd grade up to present day. I have tried to lose weight in the past half-heartedly though I was never successful. If I did lose weight, I'd just pack it back on, because the means I chose were very unhealthy. I'd fast, skip meals, take diet pills, limit my food, etc. (I've never binged/purged.) Now, my weight is WAY out of control and I am DETERMINED to be successful in a healthy way.

So, on Valentine's Day I decided to join the YMCA. What a shock! I "thought" I'd go in and see other people who were as overweight as me. I guess all the New Years Resolutioners have fallen off the wagon and are back to their daily trips to McDonald's instead of the gym. Bunnies and Buffs were EVERYWHERE! Maybe feeling a little self-conscious, I felt that all eyes were upon me as I walked to the treadmill. Of course, a Greek God gave me a tour of the gym and explained how to work the treadmill. All the while, I sensed he was thinking "I don't give her a week until she will drop out" Still when I go in, I feel the same.

I know everyone there only looks as good as they do because they GO to the gym on a regular basis. Otherwise they would add on the poundage and look like female/male versions of me. I have tried blocking other people out, but it's difficult when I'm walking 2.7 mph on a treadmill while a 60 year old woman is running on an incline next to me, and a 18 year old bunny is sweating on an eliptical in front of me.

So my question is how do you overcome this fear/intimidation. Has anyone experienced this or am I alone in feeling this way? I'm not going to quit, but I feel very self-conscious. Any suggestions or tips. Thanks and feel free to add me as a friend. I could use the encouragement!

Angela

bwleung89

Unfortunately that is part of the downward spiral that i think we all faced. When people get overweight, they lose the motivation to get to the gym. I got that way for a long time but i kept forcing myself to go to the gym on a regular basis and it paid off. Use them as motivation, and see what you could look like. 2.7 mph isnt bad, it would be bad if you didnt show any improvement or gave up so keep trying. You already took the first step so keep at it. Fitness is not a goal, its a lifestyle.

Tofuheart

I listen to music. I have a few playlists on my iphone and I just put in my ear phones and look straight ahead. I don't pay any attention to who is there.

I heard a few of the women talking once in the change room at the gym about this very overweight woman and they were both quite trim and in shape and I was expecting them to say something negative but instead they were very positve and said, she is in there swearing away getting in shape and doing something about her weight.

I have a feeling a lot of people in the gym are focussed on their own gym time and not so much on who weighs what. I think of it as a solo journey.

pandafoo

hi angela, first of all, props to you for joining the Y! that's a first step that's going to pay off in terms of becoming healthier and fitter. i can totally see what you mean about being self-conscious. i don't really feel that at the gym but i used to worry a lot about people at work or social situations think about me. one thing my wise uncle has told me goes something along the lines like, "people are thinking far less about you than you think." basically, everyone's generally focused on their own thing or themselves, and are not likely to spend much time or energy observing you when you're in the gym or thinking bad thoughts about you. if you start believing that, that could help you not be as self-conscious. i found that truth to be somewhat freeing, and i care less and less these days about what others could be thinking about me. if anything, people at the gym are probably thinking good thoughts about you because they see that you're committed to improving your health.

keep focused on your desire to become fitter and get consistent exercise in, and it will help keep you motivated in returning to the gym. if it helps, consider going in the early morning when fewer people are working out, or ask a friend to join you so you can give each other support and provide accountability. or if you start joining a group class, maybe standing near the back will help you feel more comfortable. if it's a fun class like a dance class or zumba, you'll get lost in all the fun that you're having, and soon won't think too much about what others are thinking of you. no matter what, be proud in the fact that you earnestly desire better health. take one step at a time, be patient with your progress, and believe that you can get to where you want to be!

kwardklinck

Everyone starts somewhere. Just look at it as that woman can run now because she does it regularly and work on your own goals. I used to be way embarrassed during Zumba class. I'm not the best dancer in the world. Once I stopped worrying about what I looked like, I started to really work out. I still have some confidence issues during Power Pump because I have the smallest amount of weight on my bar. I figure if I keep going I'll get up to the heavier amount.
You just keep going and you will surprise yourself at how different your life will be.

Mads1997

The exact reason I bought a home gym. I would not step foot inside a gym at this point.

mkrafick

I was you, man do I feel what you went through. I refused to go into the freeweights section because I was the guy curling a 10lb weight and struggling while someone else was curling 50lbs weights. I had a stomach while others had 6pack abs.

But I learned a few things.

Most of those guys you see that are gymrats and cut - were you. Seriously, like 50% of them - all came in overweight and it took a long time for them to get there.

I also learned that they respect you. They are laughing at the pompous jerk in his expensive workout gear that is brand new throwing out bad reps in poor form. Those are the guys that they are making fun of - not you. They respect the ones that come in losing weight and stick to it - especially when they see you are not a flash in the pan and you continually come.

It was once I was a regular and ventured into the freeweights with my fat self that people started making comments like "nice set" or "good job". Gymrats are respectful and helpful because they know where you are coming from.

I'm now a little over a year at the gym, have a routine, and don't look like such a newbie (or as big). I still am not pounding out obscene weights or fast speeds on cardio but am much better. I know when I see a 300lb woman come in and give her all as she works, I am proud of her.

I also know this to be true because my personal trainer is a friend. He and I spent some time discussing the social aspect of the gym, the gymrats everyone is intimidated by, etc.

So go in with your head up and continue to bust your back end. It pays off and with the exception of a bad apple or two - others are proud of you.

FearAnLoathing

go in there and prove them wrong!!!!They think you wont last a week show them you will!!!even if they dont really think that its a great motivater

FaithandFitness

Don't let them bring you down, like someone said, they probably aren't thinking about you as much as you think they are . . .and if they are paying attention to you then let them watch you be consistent, grow stronger and more fabulous! I entered the gym after 4 kids and I was embarrassed at what little I could do, how easily I became winded, and how silly I must have looked to some people. But I kept at it because it was about me doing what I needed to do. Yeah, so what if that blonde bunnie next to you is running at some obscene pace . . .if you went and picked up a couple of those 45 lb weight plates, handed those to her and then asked her to go your pace on the treadmill, I doubt she could do it. Anyone who knows anything about fitness knows that it is no easy task for someone to do any exercising with extra weight on them, and they will respect you. Keep up with it, go to the gym for you, feel good about the effort you put in, and don't let ANYONE take that away from you. This is about YOU, not THEM! Feel free to friend me if you need extra encouragement.

writtenINthestars

Well first off, way to go on making the first step of joining a gym.

Second, just imagine that you are probably looking at some people who were once in your same situation. They once were struggling with their own weight (and many probably still are) and joined the gym and were nervous. Are there people who may look at you and judge you? Of course there is-but those people are EVERYWHERE! I've surprisingly found a sense of commadary at the gym. I started to make small chit chat with people and now I'm much more at ease...they know why I'm there, it doesn't take a rocket scientist and now that they have gotten to know me, they are very positive and I find them trying to assist me and give me advice when I look like I'm struggling. It went from being a place of fear to a place of peace. Strange, huh?!

In the meantime, I'd suggest bringing headphones and just zoning in on either a tv show, or making a good upbeat mix to listen to. Imagine yourself in a few months after all your hard work and soon you will become more confident. Everyone has to start out somewhere, even if you are "thin" there are people who are so unhealthy they can barely walk on the treadmill themselves. Don't be so hard on yourself, you've made a step in the right direction!

rosebarnalice

A little story:
I work on a college campus, and the gym is usually staffed by college-age Buffs and Buffettes, and probably 2/3 of the users are, too.

For the past several weeks, I have been in the gym when a very large young woman has been there. She does her workouts; keeps her ear buds in; doesn't make eye contact with anyone; leaves when she's done. I'd tried to smile and chit chat when she's on the treadmill next to me, but she keeps to herself and doesn't respond.

The other day after she left, one of the Buffettes made a comment something to the effect of, " I so wouldn't want to be that girl."

Immediately, one of the Buffest Buffs jumped in and said, "Why would you say that? She's in here every day, and she's working to change her life. And she's a better woman than some skinny b*tch that just sits here and passes judgement on people."

Buffette had no response.

hollyb9871

Please don't give up on the gym. Just as there are good and not so good people at work, the store, your favorite restaurant it's that way at the gym. When ever I see someone severely overweight at the gym I am thinking good for her! Good that this person is realizing that getting healthy and taking care of themselves is important and that they are worth it! Yes I am a gym rat, I'm there usually 4 days a week unless I have sick children. Everyone feels insecure doing something they aren't comfortable with, stick to it. Do what you can do and don't worry about the 'bunny' who is 18, she' s still very young and it's far easier when you're younger. You earn my respect when you are healthy and fit and have had to work for it. Keep at it and I bet you'll find that one day you are the one being envied! Best of luck to you.

Holly

Lexie28

I hear what you're saying and I'm in agreement with everyone here. What I do is this....I put on my IPOD and I sweat. I don't care what's going on around me...I just do my thing. As long as I get a good workout in...I'm happy.

There are a lot of women and men at my gym with great bodies...but I do realize that it came from hard work...the only difference is we're at the beginning....and they are maintaining their finished product.

NEVER EVER worry about what other people think. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy!!!

Cheers

chrystal86

i felt the same way you did angela i joined bally total fitness and whenever i go to the gym at first it felt like everyone was staring at me. then i decided to focus on my workouts and mind my own business. after all i didnt join the gym to observe other people i joined to be a healthier new me. anyway the only advice i could give you is get a mp3 player and listen to music. im going to do that after i buy our first house with my husband. were in the process of getting a house. even though i still have 8 months left in this apartment. when i go to the gym i just block out everyone.

callipygianchronicle

The culture at gyms can vary. I go to a new gym that happens to have attracted a lot of clients like me, people who have 50, 100, 300 pounds to lose. But there are just as many people who have been fit for a lifetime (or at least many years). People are there to focus on their fitness and health. They’re not comparing bodies or speeds on the treadmill. If they are, they’re not working hard enough.

Many of the gym faithful have a fat story. They may not have had as much to lose as you do, but they once walked through those gym doors significantly fatter than they are today. They once left the gym gasping after 10 minutes walking 3 MPH on the treadmill. What you’re seeing is your life two years from now. Believe that you can be where they are now. They know what it has taken for them to go from fat to fit. They’re not feeling superior to you. Most of them feel like they are you. They have been in your shoes. And they are secretly routing for you.

You don’t believe it’s true. But in time, you will learn how true it is.

There is nothing impressive about a chiseled specimen doing reps or plugging away at 6 MPH on the treadmill. It *is* impressive to see someone with 100+ pounds to lose shake and sweat through zumba, or a perfect vinyasa flow series in yoga. Your body is capable of more than you realize. And it deserves to move.

Promise yourself 30 days, and keep your promise. Before you walk through that gym door, tell yourself, “I deserve to be here.” Put on head phones. Wear sunglasses if you have to (I wear prescription glasses and often take them off while working out so I can’t see—gives me better focus). Just go. Do it for you, and shut everyone else out.

Do not let the condition of someone else’s body keep you from working toward a healthier version of your own.

Mindful_Trent

Check out this blog post - it's about this topic and is very encouraging/inspiring: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/guardup/view/overweight-and-afraid-of-the-gym-73787

barefootbeautiful

BIg girls kick bigger @$$. And being the big girl in the gym is much better than being the big girl on the couch. Intimidation is a hard emotion to get over, so go around it instead. There are a lot of good tips on here, so I'll just add mine: use it as motivation. Remember when your Mom told you "There's always a bigger fish"? It's true, even in a gym.

I used to be intimidated in the gym, and that's when I started paying more attention to what weight was on the rack than what body was lifting it. You can tell who the real gymrats are by how much weight is on the stack. The gym bunnies who just want to show off their new sportsbra will NOT be putting up much weight, and those are the women you should pay no attention to. The women who come in their with their shoulders back, ready to work (much like you), those are the women you should say hi to.

Don't be afraid to strike up a conversation. Something as simple as "Nice set," or "Just a few more to go, huh?" can make working out easier. Getting to know these people - especially if you notice the same few working out when you do - is going to do a lot to kill that intimidation factor. Being able to see them as people who struggle just like you will help you to see that EVERYONE is working hard, just like you. And you may even pick up some good tips along the way.

And if you can't bring yourself to get involved with all those hard bodies, just close your eyes and imagine the day when you'll be one.

misscristie

I've never been a gym person, but we like to hike. We go to Colorado and climb mountains and stuff. The first time, all these skinny people were just flying past us and I just wanted to cry. I was so mortified. I just KNEW they were making fun of the fat people that they were leaving in the dust. Well, of course they made it to the top and were coming back down before we got there. Do you know that 99% of them stopped and told us that we were doing a great job? They didn't laugh or poke fun. They admired our effort.