Setting a good or bad example?

danniglo

I have been dieting and working out since last August. When I started I was over 150 lbs and a size 16 (maybe pushing to 18). In order to jump start my weight loss I went on a very strict diet and was working out around 3 hours a day - a lot of that was walking 6 miles with my kids in the stroller. Obviously my daughter saw me doing workouts and walking etc but I am worried about her reaction to my calorie counting. I didnt really think I talked much about it in front her or anything but a couple months ago she asked for an apple and then inquired as to how many calories it was.....this kinda bothered me a little but I brushed it off as just a 5 year olds curiosity but now she reacts to commercials that talk about calories and she will often stop playing and come do my workouts with me, which I absolutly love especially when we Zumba BUT am I setting an obsessive or healthy behavior for her in the long run? I dont want her being overly concious about her weight or the foods she eats but I do want her to be healthy.

cmbneeley

i worry about the same thing. and i don't know the answer.

TheNewJessieMae

Rylie is 7. She did that a couple times and I told her she was perfect and didn't need to count calories. That Momma quit being active and that's what got me chubby. I told her if she stayed as active as she is now that she will never have anything to worry about. She really hasn't done it since. I do catch her sucking in her belly from time to time. That really bothers me. It also bothers me that her Wii Fit Character shows her as a round butterball and calls her overweight when she isn't!!! It's very hard to know if what we are doing is right or wrong.

fink21061

My 4 year old just started with the mommy I need to diet with you. Im fat. THen she tells me she cant eat certain things cause its too many calories. So now Im trying to not talk about it much in front of her. She is not a fat kid and is only 4.

Vanishing_Gordies

Danni,
I'm glad you posted this. My five year old has asked the same questions and asks me if he can workout with me. I think, like you, I am most concerned with the calorie counting of a five year old. The wanting to workout with Mommy is awesome...definitely setting healthy examples. I mean, it's not like they're trying to do Insanity workouts with Mommy. My little man asks me all the time if we can eat "fat food"...fat food being McD's or something like that. I really don't think there is a problem as long as the little ones aren't saying stuff like - Oh no, I can't eat that! Way too many calories!

RaeN81

Don't be afraid to talk to her about it! My 4 year old boy is curious too and there have been times that I've had to correct some misinformation with him. Talk to her about calories and what they mean--it can be useful information down the road for her. Encourage her to eat healthy foods and exercise (it's great that she wants to participate in this!)

I think the bigger question you need to be asking is--do I have a healthy relationship with food that I want to teach my daughter? If the answer is no--this is something that you need to cultivate.

HalfofHilary

I have a very impressionable 5 year old as well. I try not to talk about the "calories or fat" in something around her. I just say "I am going to eat this apple because it is healthier than a candy bar. My whole family has started eating healthier as a result. She talks about exercising and eating healthy all the time, but also it is encouraged at school. I am worried that I am setting a bad example in the process of setting a good example. But I try to emphisis the health aspect instread of the weightloss aspect and hopefully it will leave a healthy footprint for her.

ajbeans

I don't talk about calories or weight loss in front of my kids, for exactly that reason. My 4yo is obsessive about everything, and I dont' want her to pick up on it. She does exercise with me most of the time, because it's fun and because I told her I'm doing it to be strong and healthy. She wants to be strong too, so she likes to do the exercises with me. It works. And she does stop playing to come do the exercises, but that doesn't worry me -- quite frankly, I'd rather she exercise with me than sit and color. We've been stuck inside all winter, and neither of my kids are getting enough exercise.

I think your kids are young enough that you could simply stop talking about the calories in front of them, and when she brings it up, just tell her that it doesn't matter. Tell her the apple has enough calories to give her body energy, and that's wonderful. If she knows how a car works, you can explain it to her in terms of gas in the car, if she needs further explanation. Don't talk about fat or weight, just talk about energy. She needs calories to have energy to play and dance with Mommy, etc.

Vanishing_Gordies

I was posting at the same time you were! I think if my son were to tell me he couldn't eat something because of the calories, we'd have to have a chat. He's close to doing that, so I definitely have to watch what I say when it comes to exercise and dieting. I've tried to explain to him that it's important to be healthy, and Mommy has to learn again what it means to be healthy which is why I count calories and make sure I don't eat too much. So far so good.

Kminor67

I see nothing wrong with her being calorie conscious. She is mimicking your healthy lifestyle, and if she gets in the habit of counting calories as a child, she will be a healthy adult. Just don't be obsessive about it, and she won't either.

I'm adopted, and I had a mother who is naturally thin, and can eat anything she wants and still be healthy. If she had taught me what I'm learning from MFP now, I probably wouldn't be in this boat. She just didn't need to learn it because she has an awesome metabolism! Not bashing Mom, she didn't know that my metabolism wouldn't be awesome too.

misschaplin

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/183274-anyone-here-struggled-with-an-eating-disorder

I have attached the link so you can maybe read my post and see how my mothers behaviour may have affected me.
I have a six year old daughter and despite my experiances have still seen the same behaviour you guys have mentioned in her

But I do the same, tell her she is perfect, she tells me now that I need to diet till I am as thin as her lol. Children these day have healthy eating and exercise, and obesity problems rammed down their necks from the minute they start school anyway. Personally I am not sure I agree with this, as I dont think children should questioning what they eat, unless there is an obvious weight problem.

I am in NO way saying that because we all watch what we eat that our children will develop eating disorders. But I do wonder how much of my problems stem from my mothers behaviour

njean888

No I think your setting a perfect example. I think we need to teach our kids not so much about how many calories is in something but choosing healthy/ nutritious options. I love it when my 6 year old son asks me "is this healthy"? If it is I say yes, but even if its not I always stress moderation. I tell him he can eat anything as long as he eats in moderation. Keep up the good work your setting a perfect example.

Painten

I try to be careful not to mention diets or calories infront of my kids. I do talk about healthy food and let them know that sugar is bad for you and that some food like chips and pizza etc are only okay to have sometimes as they are unhealthy. They do see me doing the exercise dvd's and will occasionally have a go, but it's all exercise and exercise never hurt any healthy person. I tell them i'm doing because it's good for me and like them to have a go.

I'd be very concerned if my kids started talking about calories and started tryign to hold their stomach in. I think i'd try and be a bit more discreet about my food choices after that.

danniglo

Wow! First off I am SO thankful to have MFP as such a great support system! Thanks so much for all the comments and advice - knowing that other children have picked up on the same things makes me feel a little better and from now on I will be very cautious to not mention calories or fat when around her and start emphasizing that Mommy is not dieting but working to get healthy (which is actually what my biggest goal is - being healthy so I can run and play with my little ones again!) Im sure as spring comes in and she sees the difference in me and I dont have to tell her "sorry mommy cant play with you cause she is just too tired" and we are actually running around and having some fun she will forget all about the calories and just be happy she has her mommy back!

dlaplume2

I don't think there is a problem explaining to your kids about calories and heathy foods. I don't think it is good to hide things like that from the kids either. They may get mixed messages and think they need to diet in secret too.

When I used to smoke I went outside. I never smoked in the house. I remember my husband saying something about being more discreet so the kids wouldn't know. I told him I didn't want to do that. I wanted them to know that I was not being sneaky, I was being conciensious. The last thing in the world I want to teach my kids is how to be deceptive.

My daughter asks those questions too. I think it is important to talk about good fats and bad fats, good carbs and bad carbs, eating heathy to lose weight and eating healthy to maintain or in the case of kids gain weight.

Not all weight gain is bad.
I have quit smoking too, so it is not an issue anymore. But I still don't hide the fact that I used to smoke.