How should I handle this situation?

CalorieNinja

My mother in law keeps asking me to bring the kids over to her house. My daughter is 5 and has been over there one time. My son is 16 months and has NEVER been to her house. Why? Because she lives in complete filth. She has a flea problem, mouse problem, and has 5 cats that pee wherever they want. My husband tried to talk to her about her house last year but she started to cry and hung up on him. I do NOT want to hurt her feelings but I am not bringing my kids over to her disgusting house. She comes over to my house to see the kids, babysit, etc. I hear from very reliable sources that the situation is getting worse but she is in denial and thinks it's fine. Her house is also literally falling apart. Missing tiles in the kitchen and part of the stairs are gone on her basement stairs. The last time I was there (years ago) their was moldly food on the countertops and dirt and trash on the floors.

Last year when she went to the local pool with me and the kids my daughter kept telling her that her cooler smelled like cat pee. It smelled horrible but she kept saying "What? I don't smell anything", probably because she is so used to the smell.

I've tried to tell her that her house isnt' babyproofed and she said "Oh, I'll babyproof it for the kids." If I were to tell her that she has fleas she'll tell me she doesn't. My husband won't talk to her again about it because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. Welll, neither do I but I don't know how to delicately handle this and I hate being in this situation!

Any ideas or advice would be greatly appreciated. I do not want to hurt her but I am very worried about the well being and safety of my kids. What would YOU do?

Would you and your husband be willing to offer your time to help her clean up and fix the house under the assumption that the kids will be safe and able to come over?

eystelle

Honestly, I don't think it's your job to tell her-- it's her son's. And if he can't face her, then he needs to grow up.

By putting you in the position of being the go-between between himself and his own mommy, he is being a coward. Your husband needs to man up and protect his children. Maybe he can offer to help her "kid proof" (e.g "clean the hell out of") Mom's house.

That is way harsh!!

eystelle

My mother in law keeps asking me to bring the kids over to her house. My daughter is 5 and has been over there one time. My son is 16 months and has NEVER been to her house. Why? Because she lives in complete filth. She has a flea problem, mouse problem, and has 5 cats that pee wherever they want. My husband tried to talk to her about her house last year but she started to cry and hung up on him. I do NOT want to hurt her feelings but I am not bringing my kids over to her disgusting house. She comes over to my house to see the kids, babysit, etc. I hear from very reliable sources that the situation is getting worse but she is in denial and thinks it's fine. Her house is also literally falling apart. Missing tiles in the kitchen and part of the stairs are gone on her basement stairs. The last time I was there (years ago) their was moldly food on the countertops and dirt and trash on the floors.

Last year when she went to the local pool with me and the kids my daughter kept telling her that her cooler smelled like cat pee. It smelled horrible but she kept saying "What? I don't smell anything", probably because she is so used to the smell.

I've tried to tell her that her house isnt' babyproofed and she said "Oh, I'll babyproof it for the kids." If I were to tell her that she has fleas she'll tell me she doesn't. My husband won't talk to her again about it because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. Welll, neither do I but I don't know how to delicately handle this and I hate being in this situation!

Any ideas or advice would be greatly appreciated. I do not want to hurt her but I am very worried about the well being and safety of my kids. What would YOU do?

Would you and your husband be willing to offer your time to help her clean up and fix the house under the assumption that the kids will be safe and able to come over?

I like that Idea better! I love lil miss and her infinite wisdom

sylvia1970

i agree with alot of the posts on here especially the mental health issues.

But I think you should approach the subject gently with perhaps a nice little letter from your children saying how much they love her etc etc. and to say that mammy and daddy are willing to help her in any way they can so that we(the kids) can visit her more often. If she has a large garden then include it in the letter saying how much they love playing there.

good luck