Can't get started :(

Steen918

How do I do this? The last time I lost 20 pounds was in 2007 - and it's all back on. I want to be able to do this on my own. But I have no support. In 2007, I paid an arm and a leg to join LA Weight Loss...for a while it worked. Until they closed their doors with absolutely no warning and never got to the point where they help you learn how to manage your weight and keep it off. Lovely. I live and work in a place with skinny girls who eat like birds and have no problems passing on the birthday cake (for the birthdays that seem to happen EVERY WEEK.) No support. My fiance wants to support me but doesn't know how, eats like crap himself, and rather than make him see me eat junk I just sneak it. And I've started this for a few days...and every day I've had cake...or ice cream...or cookies...how do I say NO to the bad? And go to the gym? How do I make myself go to the gym? I have no self control and I feel guilty all the time. HELP!

McKayMachina

This place has actually helped me a LOT with staying honest.

I live alone and I'm the only one keeping tabs on myself. Something about logging my cals eaten/burned here REALLY shook something up in my brain. I really think it will help you, too.

Just be REALLY honest and don't game the system by logging things incorrectly.

You'll soon feel pride in your militant MFP habits! haha

Welcome! You can do this! Just know that it's 100% up to YOU.

snookemz

I think you need some alternatives. Maybe instead of icecream you can get some skinny cow icecream, coconut milk icecream, soy dream,ect.
Instead of cakes how about a lower calorie snack cake or just a 1/2 portion of cake. Learn the RIGHT size piece of cake, get 1/2 and take little bites.
You can have those good things in your day and stay on track if you put in the work to make the rest of your diet really healthy and lean. You can also add more exercise to work off that cake and ice cream.
Sometimes, for me especially, its easier to learn what portions are supposed to look like if you start with pre-packaged meals like SmartOnes or Lean Cuisine. You'll train yourself to eat the right portions that way and then you will gain the confidence to expand and make your own foods that are healthy and the right sized portions.

jsjlandy

You sound so much like me! I was like that for the longest time. Once I started to see my hard work pay off and feel my clothes fit better, that was some inspiration to me. It didn't always last. I think support really is key. I've recently added friends on here and it's nice to cheer for each other!

I'm also in a similar situation. I'm engaged and my fiance eats junk all the time and sometimes I feel he sabotages me since I have so very little willpower! It's hard but maybe we can encourage each other to stay on track!

SMO729

Baby steps! The weight did not come on all at once. So okay, take the cookie, eat half! Exercise. Even dancing at home burns calories.

snookemz

as for the gym, don't go if you don't want to. Take a walk around your neighborhood, get an exercise video, play basketball with friends. Reward yourself with that icecream you're craving (or an alternative - either way in the right portion) or even better - sugar free snow cone, its almost snow cone season!

ileana84

First, you need to focus on being a friend to yourself! I once thanked a couple of friends on here for their support and for encouraging me and one of them said along the lines of "we just say the words but you DO what is best for you" and that made me even push myself harder. You have to do whats best for you too! We can have cake and cookies but in moderation. There are wonderful, great substitutes out there that Ive learned to put in. Im not perfect, and I still have my days, but I push myself to work out and know that there's always a better day. Sneaking around junk food isnt going to hurt anyone else but yourself hun.

mistyb47711

You can do this! Just log in everything and you will see what you need to work on. You dont have to go to the gym, get a dvd workout or just turn on the radio and dance for a certain period of time. There comes a time for everyone when they just look at themself and say, Im going to do this I am worth it. Thats what happened to me. You dont have to totally give up cake, just do it in moderation, no not every day but there is some really good low fat low calorie snacks. Have friends on here that can support you. Just make a commitment to yourself to do it for 2 weeks and you will see and feel a difference.

monylove311

Hi there! I know how you feel. You just do one thing a day. First, do something like a make a healthy breakfast, then work on the next step, lunch, etc... Don't be so hard on yourself. I have started reading "Women, Food and God' and I'm finding it very moving and motivational. You should check it out.

Email me anything. I need support too! Best Wishes, Monica

mattie11

I totally feel you. This site really helps to keep me organized. As for the gym, I pay extra for a really nice gym but it is worth it if you go. Just do a little bit each day and soon it becomes a habit. take care!

eyeris2011

Sorry to hear….but to be honest I was in you same shoes about a month ago except I am married, have 2 kids and work full time with people that eat horrible and since I am always on the road either on my way to work which takes me about 2 hrs to get there on a bumper to bumper traffic …and so on my story is long lol! And I have suffer form a couple of health problems in the past year…and would put exercising as something that I would never be able to do because I had no “TIME” or money to pay a gym…So I decided to join an Aerobics class at a local park and somehow the commitment of making there is what keeps me strong and my faith that I can loose my 30 lbs : ) ….about the eating habits just fill up your brain with a lot of healthy ways of living ….read,read, read….online there is a lot of help you just need to look for it…you can even exercise at your house for 20 min find home videos …they are not expensive…YouTube has great resources….the help is there and support as well…incase your love is not sportive enough find a website or a friend that can help you out …..and be very patient you will get there in no time….try running walking at least for 10 min around your block and you will see it will become a habit…..and if you are in MFP you are at the right place to start : ) BEST OF LUCK!dont give up….at the end you are not doing it for the fiancé or boyfriend, or anyone but yourself !!! no one else has you body and feels what you feel but YOU!

rharris86dc

I totally agree. Getting started and taking a real step towards this goal is the absolute HARDEST part. Especially when you don't have a whole lot of support.

So it's a good thing you joined here, because I haven't come across anyone that isn't helpful and supportive. But be warned, people will be honest, and it may not be what you want to hear; it will be what you need to hear, though.

If you can, find a gym buddy. I was totally intimidated about going to the gym, especially the weight floor. But my friend and I make gyms dates (almost daily now, it's kind of crazy, lol), and I don't feel so awkward. If you don't have anyone to start with, then make the commitment to yourself to start to go, and while you're there, chat with some people around you. Find someone you click with, and see if they would mind you joining them when they workout. Also, the trainers that work in most gyms are a great resource, even just for quick questions. When I joined, there was a special on personal training sessions, and she was a really good source of motivation.

And with the food stuff, start slowly. Don't try to overhaul your diet in a day, that's not how it works. Pack an apple for a snack in lieu of cake, but maybe still have a cookie. Slowly, as you introduce more healthy habits and foods, you'll also be able to fit in those smaller portions of indulgences, or even pass them up like the "bird girls."

I hope this helps, and feel free to add me as a friend if you like!

Steen918

Thanks EVERYONE! Wow...how great that I got so many fabulous replies within a minute of posting. Thank you for your responses.