do i even have a choice?

findngme

a few years ago, i left my job as a bank manager and moved down south. things didn't work out and i was forced to move back after a few months. when i came back, i called my job and asked if i could be reinstated as a part time teller. i didn't want all the stresses that came with the management position and i only wanted to work part time so i could be more involved with my family. they told me that a new position was being created that fit me perfectly and that it was a part time position. they were right, it was perfect, it required all of my expertise from the company and i did it very well and loved it! of course there are a few aspects that i don't love... and lots of stress, but i have a great boss and it really is a perfect fit.

a few months ago, my boss was promoted from VP to EVP and I knew something was going to happen to my job. Without getting into pages worth of details I'll just say a few years ago, he said if he got that promotion, he would be sure I moved with him. When he got it, he just said not to worry about it. Today, one of the girls from hr told me that a position will be created for a part time trainer. now i've been training tellers for almost my entire career at this company (including when i was a mgr) in addition to my regular duties because of my expertise on the system but this would allow me to just focus on training but one of my pet peeves about my current position is training BUT if i take it, i won't have to work saturdays anymore and i won't have to fill in at the branches when someone calls out. the reason i don't like training is that it interferes with my current position and duties. i used to love it but have grown to hate it because it's just in the way but if it was my only job, i could just focus on that. i told her i needed to speak with my boss & husband and would let her know by monday.

when i spoke to my boss, he basically said it would be better for me to take it which completely blew my mind. he's always been great to me, great reviews, great increases, great praise and always gets upset if someone from another dept asks for my help so you can imagine my shock when he told me it would be better for me to go. he said that he really needs someone full time in my position and i'm not willing to do that. he said he needs someone more willing to help out in the branches and i really don't want to be there so i understand his issue but now it seems as though i don't really have a choice. he basically said that he's keeping me on because he doesn't want to lose me and that's why it would be great to just transfer and that he desperately needs a full timer.

it's selfish of me to turn this down but i'm scared. i know how to train tellers, i don't know how to train anything else. i've always been in operations, since i started in banking. i think it would be good for me to learn a new realm and it would also give me a foot into HR which would be good in the long run. i was also pretty shocked when i told my closest work friend and her reaction made it clear she already knew (she's a higher position than me and is often privy to more).

overall, i think it would be good for me to move and there are a lot of benefits to me moving but i think my biggest set back is that i really don't have a choice and everyone made it seem like i did when in fact i'm going to end up losing my job if i don't go. it was like a big production to make me feel like my opinion mattered when in fact it doesn't and i think i'm just hurt.

it sounds so silly after writing it all out. it seems so obvious what to do. so why am i being so analytical and petty about it all?

dragonbug300

it sounds so silly after writing it all out. it seems so obvious what to do. so why am i being so analytical and petty about it all?

You needed to rant. Might want to consider keeping a journal instead of posting on forums, though. Often just talking it through with a friend or writing it down makes everything clearer.

amyrc12

You posted it in the chit-chat forum... i don't see a problem with putting it on here.
If it makes you feel better to get it off your chest - I say go for it! It's not hurting anyone else!

I hope things work out for you.. I'm sure they will!

Smokechic

Sounds like the bank was your family away from home. You were treated well and trusted all that were around you.
When we were first getting married, my husband took a job with a company that within his first year, they decided to close that location. He made pretty good money and was offered a severance or could move. Well, we had just found out that I was pregnant with our first child and first grandchild for both sides of our families. We had just bought property which we planned on building a home, and now, my husband could be jobless. If we move, we are away from family and friends that we've known all our lives especially during the time of joy of a pregnancy and new home. It was a place neither one of us really wanted to move to but it was a job that paid pretty well and we had to think of our future. On the other hand, if he didn't take the job, we would be close to what is very important to us...family. We thought we had our future planned and going just the way we had hoped, until that dreaded morning. My husband was hurt and he felt so silly feeling this way because he knew this wasn't anything personal and that he wasn't the only one that had to make this decision. But it was personal, it was something that made him feel a bit inadequate and scared. A big decision to make.

Ultimately, we chose family. It wasn't easy finding a job but years ago we used that property to camp on with our two children and dogs and later sold it for a down payment to the house we now own. The kids were very young and don't remember camping there, but the memories for us are priceless and we were able to find a decent home in a nice neighborhood in a very good school district right before our oldest started kindergarten.

We went through a lot and even when things seemed like we were robbed....we got through it. We are happy, the kids are happy, and our dogs are happy! ;-)

Good luck to you and remember, it can always be worse.

findngme

thank you all!
yes, i did need to get it off my chest, but i think i needed someone else listening rather than me just rambling. it helps to know someone is on the other end! i figured the chit chat forum would be ok.
@smokechic, i'm glad things worked out for you in the long run! it's so hard to make long-term decisions, trying to figure out what's going to be right later!

thanks for listening to my rant!