TIRED OF EXCUSES

cazzincali

Okay... is it JUST me that needs accountability? I guess I figured that joining MFP, everyone here was serious about weight loss. We should be holding each other up and encouraging, yes. But to continue telling each other... "that's ok... tomorrow is a new day" day after day, week after week... is THAT helping anyone?

I am not trying to be mean spirited. I am looking for others that aren't afraid to kick me in the @ss if I continue to make bad choices day after day!

10 years ago I weighed 335#. (And I am only 5'2") I lost 170# ON MY OWN, without surgery. Took me 2 years. I managed to gain back 70# of it over the past 8 yrs. I know what it's like to be REALLY fat! I NEVER want to go back there again.

We all make the decision to stay how we are or change. In the meantime... let's stop crying the blues and making lame excuses for bad choices. CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR or you will never lose the weight. It's THAT simple, isn't it?

kelika71

Yep, I'm tired of hearing the excuses from everyone. Someone once posted about that kind of thing and I tried the "tough love" thing. Well, let's just say it didn't go over too well. So, I figure, I'll coddle people until they tell me not to do it. Ultimately, I'm here for myself and my health. I caused my problems and I'm taking responsibility for it. The way I see it, if I can do it, so can others.

That said, there will be bad days; however, as long as the good outweigh them, so be it. I hate working out but I know I have to do it. If I don't, it's not my friends fault, it's no one but me that I have to answer to.

So, yeah, I get it...but, unless someone tells me they want me to get on their case...
Nah, not worth getting chewed out by someone who's lazy.

Mariposa187

Im starting to feel the same way... I need that push as well... I would def love if you added me and helped me because I just cant seem to kick eating the sugary chocolatey stuff. Ineed help monitoring the food. I think i would lose weight a lot faster if i ate the right stuff but i dont get the feedback i need. I dont think its mean spirited, I just think some people need different things and i def could use a firm hand.

sdwsara

fyi, im hear to help ... i have had major success and always rem if u want awesome results u have to do the work! keep at it and in time it will shine thru and it's sooooo worth all the hard work!

muth3rluvx2

Depends on the person. Some people have a low self-esteem and confidence and they need to be built up a little with small successes before you can "kick them in the *kitten*" because to do so too soon is just to beat them down.

Other people who might normally do well occasionally have a bad day adn beat themselves up for it. What's the point in joining them in that venture and making them feel worse? We're already our own worse critics.

To me, this is a narrow kind of approach - a "one size fits all" attitude is exactly what limits our ability to be socially just. Great - beat you over the head works for you; sometimes it works for me as well. But that's not an approach that works for everyone and that doesn't make them any less accountable. Perhaps they're more internally driven and don't require such verbal beratements.

Know your audience.

It's a good practice to implement.

Bunny711

I totally understand what you mean, for some people to hear that it makes them work harder but sometimes what most people need when they fall off the wagon is to hear that there is a new day to make up for where they failed and to not give up.
I need for people to tell me I won't meet my goals if I don't do the exercise.

kdao

I completely agree. I also have to admit, I hate when people use the excuse "muscle weighs more than fat" as an answer to the scale not moving.

cazzincali

Yep, I'm tired of hearing the excuses from everyone. Someone once posted about that kind of thing and I tried the "tough love" thing. Well, let's just say it didn't go over too well. So, I figure, I'll coddle people until they tell me not to do it. Ultimately, I'm here for myself and my health. I caused my problems and I'm taking responsibility for it. The way I see it, if I can do it, so can others.

That said, there will be bad days; however, as long as the good outweigh them, so be it. I hate working out but I know I have to do it. If I don't, it's not my friends fault, it's no one but me that I have to answer to.

So, yeah, I get it...but, unless someone tells me they want me to get on their case...
Nah, not worth getting chewed out by someone who's lazy.

I agree... we ALL have bad days! But my point was just - take responsibility and move on. Nothing wrong with saying "I ate the candy bar. I wanted it, I ate it. I chose it. I will pay the price" Don't complain that you didn't lose anything this week - you DID IT TO YOURSELF.

toots99

Amen!

I posted something along these lines a few weeks ago. Some people took offense. Whatever. :yawn: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/163145-giving-up

cazzincali

Depends on the person. Some people have a low self-esteem and confidence and they need to be built up a little with small successes before you can "kick them in the *kitten*" because to do so too soon is just to beat them down.

Other people who might normally do well occasionally have a bad day adn beat themselves up for it. What's the point in joining them in that venture and making them feel worse? We're already our own worse critics.

To me, this is a narrow kind of approach - a "one size fits all" attitude is exactly what limits our ability to be socially just. Great - beat you over the head works for you; sometimes it works for me as well. But that's not an approach that works for everyone and that doesn't make them any less accountable. Perhaps they're more internally driven and don't require such verbal beratements.

Know your audience.

It's a good practice to implement.

I haven't beat anyone over the head. I haven't said anything to anyone, actually. But I HAVE said things about MYSELF taking responsibility for MY OWN actions. I also didn't mean that I want someone berating me. I just want someone not afraid to say - "suck it up, take responsibility for the error and move on."

kelika71

Have a candy bar. It's fine. It's when you have a dozen of them, there's a problem. I have them. I love Dove's dark chocolate!! haha

Yeah, I feel like crap when I go over or do something wrong. Who doesn't?!

I don't mind if someone wants to vent. That's more than ok. However, this person was asking for help and when I offered my solutions, they didn't like it. Well, then suck it up and do your own thing, then. When you fail, don't look at me. That's my take on it.

Successful people have many failures, though. It's what they do with those failures that make them a success.

cazzincali

Amen!

I posted something along these lines a few weeks ago. Some people took offense. Whatever. :yawn: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/163145-giving-up

Thanks for the link. I read it all and am not at all surprised by the responses. I agree with some of the responses, but not all. I think the ones that disagreed with you, misunderstood your point.

No one said changing your life is easy. It isn't. I get that. I'm just saying if you eat cupcakes everyday... how on earth can you complain about not losing weight? Geez... enjoy the cupcakes! Then... work the calories off... or not! It's your choice! But don't complain because the scale went up, not down.

The other thing that bugs me... "it's TOM". I have always gained 3-5# the week before TOM. Yet, I have managed to post losses even on those weeks! how? I worked out more at the gym because I KNEW I would see water retention weight if I didn't. Am I the ONLY one who knows this? I doubt it.

cazzincali

Have a candy bar. It's fine. It's when you have a dozen of them, there's a problem. I have them. I love Dove's dark chocolate!! haha

Yeah, I feel like crap when I go over or do something wrong. Who doesn't?!

I don't mind if someone wants to vent. That's more than ok. However, this person was asking for help and when I offered my solutions, they didn't like it. Well, then suck it up and do your own thing, then. When you fail, don't look at me. That's my take on it.

Successful people have many failures, though. It's what they do with those failures that make them a success.

I agree with you.

kettlewitch

It's difficult to gauge what sort of support people need but it is down to the individual. I do get motivation from coming on here, but if I am going to fall off the wagon I doubt anything anyone could say would stop me. It is my fight alone. I am surrounded by a lot of people who tell me " one won't hurt" when I know that one will lead to two will lead to three etc. I ignore them lol. That said, if someone stood over me and said " oooh, you can't have that, don't eat that, put the cork back in shazza" I'd ignore them too.

If I tell my poor husband not to let me do something he knows full well if he tried to stop me he would get sworn at so I don't ask him to accept responsibility for me (although I did get him to pour half a bottle of wine down the sink on the one and only time this year that I drank any alcohol)

Despite all that I have just said, will someone please tell me to get my wobbly butt down the gym! Got a bit lazy in the last week or so.

nursee67

Okay... is it JUST me that needs accountability? I guess I figured that joining MFP, everyone here was serious about weight loss. We should be holding each other up and encouraging, yes. But to continue telling each other... "that's ok... tomorrow is a new day" day after day, week after week... is THAT helping anyone?

I am not trying to be mean spirited. I am looking for others that aren't afraid to kick me in the @ss if I continue to make bad choices day after day!

10 years ago I weighed 335#. (And I am only 5'2") I lost 170# ON MY OWN, without surgery. Took me 2 years. I managed to gain back 70# of it over the past 8 yrs. I know what it's like to be REALLY fat! I NEVER want to go back there again.

We all make the decision to stay how we are or change. In the meantime... let's stop crying the blues and making lame excuses for bad choices. CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR or you will never lose the weight. It's THAT simple, isn't it?

Thanks cazz...I do think a little tough love helps those of us who went back to old habits and stopped exercising and began eating crappy again. I am one of those people. I am not ashamed to admit it, I tell myself everyday. I was very proud to lose the weight I did...now I have gained some back. I know I need a push, and you are giving me one. To those that don't understand...well forget them.

golferd

What I find is all the motivation is around you. Look at the obese people and trust me they have the excuses. I was one of them. You have to challenge yourself, look at the success photos. You think xx lost is great then you see someone that has lost xxx and you realize their is my push that I need.

I use to wait for my wife to exercise (excuse) now I just go.

I also find if you go in the morning, less chance you can excuse it out of you.

Now, Quit reading and get exercising

kwardklinck

I will say it's ok if someone messes up one day. I have always had a cheat meal. It keeps me motivated all week if I know I can have something a little extra once a week. There is no excuse for just deciding your gonna eat what you want to all the time. I do kinda get irritated with people who complain about not losing weight, then you look at their food journal and they've had fast food and chocolate every single day. That's kinda a duh moment for me. This is a process though. Nobody is going to hit it and be perfect at first. They have to learn the process of eating better and figure out what they have to do to lose weight.

trud72

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy someone who sees the light lol!
i sooo agree the the excusces part, h i have bad knees,i have bad hips blah blah blah get over it!

i DO have bad hips(due for 2 ops):( but i still walk 1 or 2 times a day with the pain even xmas morning i was out doing my 2 mile round trip in the ice and snow! so hey no more bloody excuses PLEASE people...it is your worst enemy...