This os not about weight loss but I need to let it out...

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vero_1
vero_1 Posts: 85 Member
in Motivation and Support
I know this is not the place but I have nowhere else to go right now.
Just got off the phone with my beloved boyfriend... the man I reconnected with after 25 years. He was my first date, the first boy that made me blush... 25 years after we were whisked away from our country of birth, he to Quebec, Canada and me to California, USA I found him through facebook (yeap, the power of the social network) and he finally kissed me for the first time! And I love him so much! We have been in this long distance relationship for 2 years now. And I love him and miss him more each day as we try to put things in order so we can be together.
And so for the last year and a half, he has been complaining of abdominal pain and we have gotten in some pretty bad arguments over it... me at times asking, at times telling, other times pleading, and even yelling to please go to the doctor and get it checked. He went about a year ago and had an upper GI test (barium swallow) that showed he had some stomach inflamation. He was told it didn't look bad and was referred to a gastrointestinal doctor but procrastinated... and procrastinated... then 3 weeks ago he went to the hospital. A couple of days later he had some tests done (without telling me) and finally today, after a bit of arm twisting over the phone he tells me they think it might be stomach cancer.
So here I am... I dont even know what to feel... I'm scared, angry, terrified... I have all this questions for God.... I want to scream... I want to hugh him and keep him safe. I want to hold him and love him until my love makes him healthy again.... and I am praying, and crying and pleading with God... and he has asked me not to tell anyone in his family until they have done more testing that he needs... and he does not want to talk about it... and I want to fly over tonight and be with him forever... and I am so scared... and why why why!!!!!!
And so here I am.....
thank you for reading... thank you for letting me use this space... please pray for him. He is my love lost and found again... he is my happily ever after... please pray for him.

Replies

  • sunshine79
    sunshine79 Posts: 758 Member
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    I will pray for you both. mY thoughts are with you
  • jsannicolas
    jsannicolas Posts: 4
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    I'll pray for him and you. Things don't always happen for a reason, they just happen. It's good at least that you are talking about it, it's no good to keep those feelings all bottled up. You sound scared and horrified, as you should be, but let the light of hope in. Nothing is more healing than a positive attitude, even when it's hard to muster. Instead of being scared together, try to help him get through it with hope. God bless the both of you.:smile:
  • kettlewitch
    kettlewitch Posts: 277 Member
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    I can't say I understand how bad you feel because I have never been on your side of the fence. I have however been on the other side and I know that my family suffered more than I did when I had a cancer diagnosis 12 years ago when I was 29. Now I'm very much a doer, once the diagnosis was made I just wanted to get cracked on with whatever needed to be done. My doctor asked if I wanted a few days to come to terms with it but I didn't need that. Get it out and let me get on with my life please! I always remember 2 particular people visiting me in hospital, one was a very sympathetic counsellor who sat on the edge of my bed with a big sad face going on about how terrible it was that I should get ovarian cancer so young and a big bubbly Jamaican nurse who bustled in to get me out of bed after my hysterectomy and was like a big loud Ray of sunshine telling me to get up and stop feeling sorry for myself. I'd have had the nurse over the counsellor all day long! My point is, be there for him and support him and if the worst comes to the worst and it is cancer, face it with him. I wish you all the luck in the world
  • thegreenjudy
    thegreenjudy Posts: 7
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    I am so sorry for you! I completely understand what you must be feeling. My own husband is a huge procrastinator when it comes to going to the doctor no matter what agony he is in. And it drives me crazy. And if something like that would happen to him I wouldn't know what to do. It's too late now to start a fight over it and accuse him of having been careless with his body and your feelings. It would just make him feel worse. Try and find as many organizations as possible that can help and support him with his illness. I don't know if he's in the UK but Marie Curie is very good and has helped one of my friends with cancer. The NHS is pretty good in acting quickly when it comes to cancer. I really hope the best for you both. I personally have a hope that illnesses like that will soon be a thing of the past and I know that it's not god's fault. Unfortunately we are all being hit with unforeseen occurrences at one point in our life's. But I know that HE will make up for it pretty soon :-)


    Edit: Sorry didn't read that you are in the US. But I am sure there are organizations in your area that can help you :-)
  • YourFriendBecky
    YourFriendBecky Posts: 229
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    What an amazing story! Not sure why it took so long for you and he to reconnect, but it's awesome that you did and I wish you many years of happiness together. I don't understand the "maybe" part of what the doctor told him-- why can't he get a definitive diagnosis? I hope that he gets answers soon and gets any and all available treatment, and hopefully this will just be a bump in the road for you and he will go on to lead a long and healthy life... with YOU.
  • habibti
    habibti Posts: 56 Member
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    I hope everything will be ok, I can imagine how worried you are. Try to stay strong, and prayers will be coming from over here too.
  • Jazzdaisy
    Jazzdaisy Posts: 20 Member
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    My prayers are going out to you and your boyfriend!! Rely on God to give you the strength and courage you need at times like this.
    Hopefully the results come back negative and everything will be alright.
  • edryer123
    edryer123 Posts: 502 Member
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    You are both in my thoughts and I hope that everything turns out for the best!
  • shimmerlady
    shimmerlady Posts: 43 Member
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    saying lots of prayers for you both, what a horrible things to find out.

    I hope that the tests show that things are not as bad that something cannot be done.

    You also need to look after yourself.

    Can you talk to a close friend/family member if he does not want to tell his family yet? You also need someone there for you.
  • Aspynmom
    Aspynmom Posts: 166 Member
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    Hang in there vero. I am thinking and praying for you both. We don't know why these things happen. Who knows, you may have been brought together again because God knew you were the right pair to take this on and beat it, together. Wait until the smoke clears and a definitive diagnosis is made, not to give hope but working in the medical field for 18 years, I know they often give the worst possible outcome while waiting for test results, just in case. Then, if it is, stand up straight and determined and formulate a plan.

    Keep us all updated please (as much as you feel you want to).
  • marci355
    marci355 Posts: 292
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    Prayers going up!! Try not to be too scared.....(easy for me to say, I know...) But they have made MAJOR advances in the cancer field. I'm the only child out of 4 kids that has NOT come down with cancer. It can be beaten! My dad survived colon cancer and my sister is in remission for colon cancer for 7 years now. I have walked in your shoes and it's not easy. I lost my brother in 2003 and my sister in 2004, both from lung cancer. (they were both smokers). I know you're scared, but trust in God and the advances they have made in cancer research. They are so many options and the survival rate is quite high with cancer now. (if he even has full blown cancer, he may not. They will probably do a biopsy to know for sure.) My prayers are with you!!!! Hang in there...
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
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    my grandfather was diagnosed with stomach cancer as well, Im so sorry to hear about your boy friend......

    if this is any concsolation, they gave him 11 months to live, he lived another 38 years................


    miracles do happen..........just believe..........Lloyd
  • ToniAnn411
    ToniAnn411 Posts: 83
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    I will keep him in my prayers! And you as well. Please keep us updated if possible.

    ((((HUGS))))
  • debzwill
    debzwill Posts: 169 Member
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    Praying for you both x
  • xecila
    xecila Posts: 99
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    I wish you and your boyfriend the best. And though you want to be angry right now, realize that it was probably fear that kept him from going to the doctor in the first place. But.. I'll keep you both in my thoughts, and hope that you find good news in this mess. I know how painful an experience Cancer can be.. I've dealt with my mother having cancer the last few months. Just keep your chin up, and try to keep hope. It's vitally important right now. Hope can move mountains.
  • Heybaby25
    Heybaby25 Posts: 16 Member
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    It may not seem like much but, like everyone else, i am sending all my good thoughts and wishes your way.
  • KimKelly65
    KimKelly65 Posts: 51
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    I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
    Anger is normal at first, don't be too hard on yourself.
    Let us know what happens, if you can.
    *Hugs*

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