Feelings when people started to notice. . .

flutterqueen04

I want to start by saying that I am extremely proud of myself and don't regret getting healthy and working hard. I feel so much better about myself. And it doesn't hurt when people complement me on my progress.....well..... maybe a little. Does anyone else sometimes get an embarrassed feeling in the back of their mind when talking about your weight loss? Like you think "wow how the heck DID I let myself get that bad?!" I love when people say "Wow you look soooo good!" but I always get a voice in the back of my mind that goes "wow I must have really looked like s**t before!" I mean I KNOW I did, but to have it be somewhat acknowledged by others in a way it still stings. I actually asked one of my friends one time when they were going on about how skinny I look now I couldn't help it and said "Geez was I that bad before! Did you think 'oh no here she comes better hide the cookies and hamburgers before she eats them all!?!" Does anyone out there know what I mean? I am by no means complaining or saying boo hoo to me. I am way more happier and confident and would not give it up for anything and I really don't mind being complemented...keep them coming, haha. But I just want to know if anyone else has those *brief* moments of pity like that? Or am I just crazy?? haha :huh:

tonka0597

Your crazy! LOL, just kidding. I feel you though. It sucks when you realized how bad you allowed yourself to get.

LuckyLeprechaun

I married while heavy. I imagined that the reason I was never hit on (by strangers, etc) was I was wearing a wedding ring. (Or I let myself imagine that). Now that I'm looking better, I am getting hit on and flirted with, and it does piss me off a little. The thought that I get is, "OH, NOW I'm Ok?"

I feel you

PrincessLacey

i wish people would notice the only people who do are like my mom,stepdad,and grandma
my guy friend especally i saw him in dec and was 220 now i'm 195 and he doesn't even notice till i point it out then he says,"your butt got smaller"...:frown:
i mean thank you jerkoff!ugh i havent seen my girl friends in a year in the summer i was 270 so HOPEFULLY they will notice the difference!lol
don't count on a guy for an opinion

Luki129

I know I wasn't taking care of myself and I wasn't eating the right foods. Most of what we are eating now is just junk!!!! I think once I realized this, it helped.

It feels good to be in better shape. Now, I don't have time to worry about what people think about what I used to look like. I am to busy having fun in my life!!!

LuckyLeprechaun

I started a little higher than that, and I'm a little lower now, but it also took me like 30 lbs of loss before anyone noticed it on me (including myself)

I heard a great analogy about this effect, comparing our overweight selves to a new roll of paper towels. When it's new (big), and you remove a sheet ("lose weight"), you can't hardly see the difference because that sheet winds around the large roll maybe once. But as it keeps getting smaller (more losses), it shrinks faster because each sheet is wound around the smaller roll many times (am I slaughtering this, or are you following me?) So the first 20 doesn't seem as noticeable as the last 20.

CurriedGrasshopper

I understand completely. Years ago when I (5'2") went from my highest weight of 189lbs down to 120lbs. All anyone in my small town did was gush constantly about how good I looked and how awesome and amazing it was.

And dammit I knew I was a big fat girl before losing but they did make me feel like I must have been soooo gross and disgusting before losing! So the gushing made me feel bad, good, self conscious and eventually annoyed. I was still gettin it 2 years after maintaining and by then I was sick of it... I'd only been fat a few years but that's all it took to cement me as jenn the fatty in their memories.

... Hang in there. They don't mean it in he negative way that you're feeling. People just dont know how to be tactful. Fortunately some awesome folks will be casual and circumspect with a simple 'you're looking great by the way' and that compliment rocks.

downtome

I like when peeps notice because it tells me that it's finally showing. Obviously, we all knew what we looked like before the weightloss and how bad we looked unless there was denial of it? I was never in denial, I just didn't give a damn, but now I do! Even though I am still heavy and have only lost 47 pounds, I have noticed that men are starting to check me out again and that makes me feel good. Of course you know how men are, for most, looks are everything, it sucks I know, but that is reality. My mom was telling yesterday about a picture I was in holding my sister's baby at the hospital about 2 months before I started my diet in November, she was telling me that she didn't realize just how fat I really was. Hell, I already knew, what took her so long....lol Anyways, I'm enjoying people noticing my loss and those who don't say anything are either jealous or just scared to say anything. I can't wait until I lose the other 108 pounds, if I keep going as I have been I should be at goal by Feb/March of next year or sooner depending! Go us:)

flutterqueen04

Thanks guys!

I don't feel negatively and I do enjoy the compliments!! I was never in denial about being fat when I was, I knew I was and I knew exactly why. I guess its just normal human reaction to still feel a sting when others say things, know what I mean? Its kinda like that old adage, you know your family is crazy and stuff but when someone says "hey your family is crazy" you get pissed? haha I know they don't mean anything negatively and that they are happy for me. Its just part of the process. I am sure in a while I will be ok and over it all and won't have those moments.

happy_vegan

i haven't told a single person that i'm trying to do this for this exact reason. i'm actually wearing baggy clothes so people won't notice . i feel ya!

JillTwiss

I know exactly what you mean. There are a couple of people here at work who NEVER would say hi to me before. I have worked with these people for 4½ years, walked by them in the hallways, smiled at them, etc. and they would give me a little fake smile. NOW, they say, "Hi, how are you?" I want to tell them, "F--- off! You never cared to ask before so why bother now?"

My friends/coworkers though all comment and I don't take offense to them because some of them are in this with me and losing too. It's just the people I'm not friendly with who piss me off.

kittyinaz

I hate it when people like to remind you that you're fat lol. My mom does it all the time (and she's just as big as I am!!!) My sister used to be "the fat girl" and then she had weight loss surgery and now I'm the fat one LOL. I'm glad she lost the weight, but I wish she would have done it in a better way.

i haven't told a single person that i'm trying to do this for this exact reason. i'm actually wearing baggy clothes so people won't notice . i feel ya!

I wish I hadn't told anyone... then I wouldn't be getting the calls of "Hey, so how much weight have you lost?" from my family and friends. It's like back the heck off lol.

flutterqueen04

I understand completely. Years ago when I (5'2") went from my highest weight of 189lbs down to 120lbs. All anyone in my small town did was gush constantly about how good I looked and how awesome and amazing it was.

And dammit I knew I was a big fat girl before losing but they did make me feel like I must have been soooo gross and disgusting before losing! So the gushing made me feel bad, good, self conscious and eventually annoyed. I was still gettin it 2 years after maintaining and by then I was sick of it... I'd only been fat a few years but that's all it took to cement me as jenn the fatty in their memories.

YES!! You pretty much reiterated what I am talking about! I am glad and happy when they gush but you just feel like "damn! was I that bad?!" You can't help but question it and you know they aren't being mean in any way. They are happy for you but its just...^ THAT! haha

I was always skinny too! I started gaining weight after I got married and was only at my highest for a year but its like they just see me as the fat one and like forget that I am capable of being skinny. I was my whole life pretty much and I just had a few rough years where life kicked my bum!

mltdown

I totally know what you mean! I have the hardest time with taking compliments. Just the other day I was in the grocery store and a girl ive seen maybe twice in my life came up to me and said "you look incredible, how much weight have you loss?" and I said " What do you mean? I havent lost anything I can't believe how rude people can be!!" haha I couldn't help myself I am getting annoyed with people asking me ALL the time I cant even go anywhere anymore without hearing about it! I am proud of what ive done and I am disappointed in how I let myself get that heavy, and I understand that people are just trying to be nice and encourage me... but ahhhhh! So, no your not crazy

BrandNewMia

I know exactly what you are talking about, I feel the same way. People are only just starting to notice my weight loss, and I am still a big girl with 90+ pounds left to lose before I reach my goal. So it's really uncomfortable when they ask "How much weight have you lost?" because I feel like it just spotlights exactly how obese I really am.

That said - I'm trying, really hard, to get over it. I'm trying to OWN it, as a part of me taking control and taking accountability for myself and my situation. I am hoping that by the time I reach my goal I will be so proud I'm going to shout it from the rooftops. I'm not there yet, but I sincerely hope I will be.

dietcoke281

I know what you're talking about but I think it's better that friends are honest - if I was obviously overweight then I wouldn't want my friends to pretend they hadn't noticed!

khrys1

I try to stay with the positive thoughts and take it as a compliment, which spurs me on to doing even better!

tamanella

I guess I've been so heavy for so long that when I get complimented, I don't think anything about it other than happy that I'm losing and getting healthier. This is interesting though, I never thought about it before.

foreverjade

I absolutely know how you feel!!!

It's kind of a paradox for me though... the only people who 'gush' about how good I look are my family members, where as most friends/strangers don't notice unless I point it out. So on the one hand, I feel like crap that my family thought I was a fat mess before, and on the other hand, I feel disappointed t hat my friends don't notice at all!

I guess neither side will really feel good until I am happy with where I am at..... It's all about loving yourself right?

flutterqueen04

I should clarify... when I am complemented there is more of a happy accomplished feeling more than anything, its just a small little embarrassed feeling in the back of my mind at the same time that I am talking about.

I don't want people to think I am *****ing about being complemented or that my family/friends are being mean. I KNOW THEY ARE NOT They are trying to congratulate me on my success.

itzamos

I know this is kinda-sorta related, not because I realized how 'bad' I looked before (meh, I was ok), but because all my friends have gotten really defensive towards me! :>( They make snotty comments, get all edgy when I'm around their men, and sit around and make spiteful comments about all the women in their lives that are skinnier than they are. UGH!

Also, I get stared at everywhere I go, and being a shy person I really don't take it well. I dunno.... it's not like I don't LIKE the way I look. But are these feelings of ambivalence normal?

dlaplume2

I kind of feel like that will be an issue with me. I havent' gotten there, but I am doing it healthy. I am exercising and working real hard at making the right choices. I know people are going to ask me how I did it. I am going to tell them the truth. They will have their own thoughts. But in the back of my mind I am going to wonder how I let myself be so lazy for so long.

Congrats on your success, btw.

Jrak1980

I feel the same way. I've also been having a hard time getting ready for work these days. Everything is too big and I look frumpy. I used to hate when people complained about not having anything to wear because they lost weight...now I understand their struggles. I wish I could just wear my workout clothes to work

MsFitnFabulous

OMG I thought it was just me. People fail to realize that they need to think before they speak. It's alright for me to say I used to be really fat but for someone else to say it pisses me off!! Since when did it become ok for you to call me out and make me feel like poo? I realize that this used to be an area of weakness for me, but I don't need you to rub my face in it, thanks and have a nice life JERK!!!!!

Valtishia

Those remarks don't bug me. I didn't feel good at my highest weight so I assume I am not the only one who noticed lol

One thing I really do love though, is the people that are closest to you... like my husband and my best friend and ofcourse some others who were with you in the beginning and were there for the subtle changes that ended as a drastic one, don't really remember you the way you were, but rather the way you are.

My best friend saw some of my old pictures on facebook and commented to me that he can't even remember me like that. Those pictures are just not what he pictures when he thinks about me, but he was there through it all. He lost a bunch of weight too and it seems to be the same for me when I look at his old pics. I just didn't see this chunky guy I guess lol.

fitniknik

I feel sooo rediculous when people comment to me as well, however I do secretly like that people are noticing.. But that also makes me wonder what they thought when I was fat (er)...
I think thats why I get embarassed, because I wonder how I looked to people then that they just werent saying. Like- damn that ones getting fat! only they dont (always) say it out loud!

tkphotogirl

The only time I get crabby about it is when it comes from a person who has never bothered to speak to you about anything else! There's a lady at work...we've been in the same building for two years and she has NEVER returned a smile or a 'hello' in the corridor. Until last week, when she asked me how much weight I'd lost. Um, hello, how about we introduce ourselves properly before getting personal?

chrystal86

the only one that has really noticed are family and i havent seen friends in a while. it took me to join a gym to finally notice. i still got a long journey to go 120lbs but i know i can do it. i just take it as it is and just remind myself that im doing this for me no one else.

pghfan

I think that sometimes we (especially women) have a hard time accepting compliments/praise. My sister once pointed out to me that every time someone complimented my clothes I would immediately say "Oh I got this on sale really cheap", or if someone complimented my weight loss I'd say "Yeah, but I have a long way to go". She said just smile and say thank you, and quit reading so much into it! So that's what I do! :happy: