Help!!! Need Ideas!! **LONG STORY**
MissAnjy
Posts: 2,480 Member
This is not REALLY weight loss related, but I can make it be 
My husband used to be 450lbs (6'4) so....a BIG guy! When we began dating (3 and a half years ago) he weighed in at 290lbs. I was AMAZED at his transformation! It was incredible. When I became pregnant with our twins my husband gained HIS pregnancy weight & when i delivered HE weighed in at 320. He was always sexy to me! hehe
Back story: My husband was a drinker. He was what I would call a "functional alcoholic". He could work, socialize, carry on a conversation & even those closest to him didn't realize the extent of his addiction ... except for me. I saw the worst of his addiction. They were extremely dark & scary times. Two years ago we celebrated his 26th birthday & on the same day that he was born, he nearly died. I had spent the afternoon in the salon preparing for our dinner & night out together & he was at home with our 4 month old twins. When i returned from the salon he was acting "odd" but i didn't suspect that he was drunk (he was caring for our kids). We went to dinner & he ordered 3 beers (which i believed was his first 3 of the day) and soon after he became irate, confrontational, irrational, & simply out of control. He slammed the table & screamed at me in the restaurant. We packed up our food as soon as it arrived & left. I was confused. As far as I knew he had 3 beers. I didn't understand. We continued fighting at home but I decided I was still going out with friends to celebrate as the plans were already made. He came along. We had drinks, we danced, etc. All was fine. We got home & all hell broke loose. We got to arguing and I laid out on the couch. Two hours later I went to our bedroom to check on him & that's where I found "my superman" half dead. There was my protector, someone i held so high up on a pedestal, someone i looked up to and wanted to be like, someone who could protect me from all harm and take care of me in my darkest moments ... there he was choking on his own fluids. I called 911 in a panic & was hysterical on the phone. I kept screaming into the receiver "I can't move him, he's too heavy, he's so much bigger than me" (when they were telling me to get him on his side). I was terrified and ANGRY as hell. When the paramedics arrived he was coherent enough to tell them that he had drank upwards of 36 ...yeah THIRTY-SIX beers. WTF? I had only been present for around 8? I was confused. He later confessed that in my 2 hour salon visit, he drank a case of 24. I was beyond furious, I was terrified. I had to call in family members at 4am to watch my 4 month olds while i made a hospital visit. My hospital visit was NOT to see how he was doing, or to baby him, i was furious. I'd had ENOUGH. By this point, I'd lived with his destructive behaviour & addiction for 2 years. I told him he needed to get himself straight. I got no sleep that night and had to take care of my twins all the next day. When my hubby (boyfriend at the time) got home from the hospital the next day after SIX bags of IV he was STILL throwing up all day. He walked in & I was disgusted by him. I could barely look at him. I packed up my kids & I left. I went to my mom's & spent the day there with my kids. He called me mid-afternoon still slurring & asked when I was coming home. I told him that that was NOT a "home" and that I wouldn't be coming back at all unless he sobered up completely & changed his life. I gave him an ultimatum: Alcohol or your family.
He chose his family.
He's been clean and sober for 2 years this March 18th. At that time I told him I would NEVER marry an alcoholic. Six months of sobriety later he proposed to me, i accepted. We got married this past August 7th, 2010 with him being 1 year 5 months sober. THIS is the man I love. THIS is the man I wanted to spend my life with. He's an INCREDIBLE father, an INCREDIBLE husband and an INCREDIBLE best friend. He really is my SUPERMAN!! He loves his family, and he loves us so much that he faced his addiction & went through the struggle of losing all his "friends" due to his new lifestyle etc. As he says, all he ever wanted was his family & the "friends" can go by the wayside with the drinking if they choose to.
In the first 8 months of quitting drinking my husband lost 90lbs!! (that oughta show how much he was drinking) Today my husband is alcohol free & smoke free. He weighs in at 220 @ 6'4. He looks fantastic & he couldn't be happier about his life.
Here's the thing. I want to celebrate his 2 years sober but am lost on what to get him? Anyone have any ideas? I want something special. This isn't a small deal. This is HUGE for us. His sobriety changed our entire lives (for the better) and I want to let him know that I will NEVER forget what he's done for our family.
I'm planning on writing him a letter but I'm searching for the perfect gift, any ideas??!!? I'm hoping someone has something great. I'm having brain farts, lol
My husband used to be 450lbs (6'4) so....a BIG guy! When we began dating (3 and a half years ago) he weighed in at 290lbs. I was AMAZED at his transformation! It was incredible. When I became pregnant with our twins my husband gained HIS pregnancy weight & when i delivered HE weighed in at 320. He was always sexy to me! hehe
Back story: My husband was a drinker. He was what I would call a "functional alcoholic". He could work, socialize, carry on a conversation & even those closest to him didn't realize the extent of his addiction ... except for me. I saw the worst of his addiction. They were extremely dark & scary times. Two years ago we celebrated his 26th birthday & on the same day that he was born, he nearly died. I had spent the afternoon in the salon preparing for our dinner & night out together & he was at home with our 4 month old twins. When i returned from the salon he was acting "odd" but i didn't suspect that he was drunk (he was caring for our kids). We went to dinner & he ordered 3 beers (which i believed was his first 3 of the day) and soon after he became irate, confrontational, irrational, & simply out of control. He slammed the table & screamed at me in the restaurant. We packed up our food as soon as it arrived & left. I was confused. As far as I knew he had 3 beers. I didn't understand. We continued fighting at home but I decided I was still going out with friends to celebrate as the plans were already made. He came along. We had drinks, we danced, etc. All was fine. We got home & all hell broke loose. We got to arguing and I laid out on the couch. Two hours later I went to our bedroom to check on him & that's where I found "my superman" half dead. There was my protector, someone i held so high up on a pedestal, someone i looked up to and wanted to be like, someone who could protect me from all harm and take care of me in my darkest moments ... there he was choking on his own fluids. I called 911 in a panic & was hysterical on the phone. I kept screaming into the receiver "I can't move him, he's too heavy, he's so much bigger than me" (when they were telling me to get him on his side). I was terrified and ANGRY as hell. When the paramedics arrived he was coherent enough to tell them that he had drank upwards of 36 ...yeah THIRTY-SIX beers. WTF? I had only been present for around 8? I was confused. He later confessed that in my 2 hour salon visit, he drank a case of 24. I was beyond furious, I was terrified. I had to call in family members at 4am to watch my 4 month olds while i made a hospital visit. My hospital visit was NOT to see how he was doing, or to baby him, i was furious. I'd had ENOUGH. By this point, I'd lived with his destructive behaviour & addiction for 2 years. I told him he needed to get himself straight. I got no sleep that night and had to take care of my twins all the next day. When my hubby (boyfriend at the time) got home from the hospital the next day after SIX bags of IV he was STILL throwing up all day. He walked in & I was disgusted by him. I could barely look at him. I packed up my kids & I left. I went to my mom's & spent the day there with my kids. He called me mid-afternoon still slurring & asked when I was coming home. I told him that that was NOT a "home" and that I wouldn't be coming back at all unless he sobered up completely & changed his life. I gave him an ultimatum: Alcohol or your family.
He chose his family.
He's been clean and sober for 2 years this March 18th. At that time I told him I would NEVER marry an alcoholic. Six months of sobriety later he proposed to me, i accepted. We got married this past August 7th, 2010 with him being 1 year 5 months sober. THIS is the man I love. THIS is the man I wanted to spend my life with. He's an INCREDIBLE father, an INCREDIBLE husband and an INCREDIBLE best friend. He really is my SUPERMAN!! He loves his family, and he loves us so much that he faced his addiction & went through the struggle of losing all his "friends" due to his new lifestyle etc. As he says, all he ever wanted was his family & the "friends" can go by the wayside with the drinking if they choose to.
In the first 8 months of quitting drinking my husband lost 90lbs!! (that oughta show how much he was drinking) Today my husband is alcohol free & smoke free. He weighs in at 220 @ 6'4. He looks fantastic & he couldn't be happier about his life.
Here's the thing. I want to celebrate his 2 years sober but am lost on what to get him? Anyone have any ideas? I want something special. This isn't a small deal. This is HUGE for us. His sobriety changed our entire lives (for the better) and I want to let him know that I will NEVER forget what he's done for our family.
I'm planning on writing him a letter but I'm searching for the perfect gift, any ideas??!!? I'm hoping someone has something great. I'm having brain farts, lol
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Replies
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Wow. That's an incredible story. Maybe do something as a family? I don't think it has to be anything huge - but something meaningful instead. And since he chose his family over the booze - I think any family activity would be wonderful0
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I don't have any gift ideas, but I just wanted to thank and congratulate you on you and your husband's success! May you continue to be happy together!0
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Hey
I dont have ay ideas for gifts im afraid, but wanted to comment as your story is amazing.
Sad, difficult, positive.. fantastic. The dark times were obviously extremely difficult, but both you and your husband sound amazinly strong :-) Its great to hear you both stuck with the through the tough times - and now you are married, happy, and your husband is sober .
I wish you both all the happiness - you deserve it
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A romantic weekend away for the two of you, or something with the kids since if he didn't change this is the kind of stuff that he would be missing out on, how about a gift certicate for something that he really enjoys.0
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What is something he loves to do? What does he do now that he didn't do then because he wasted his time on alcohol? Can you theme a party around one or more of those things, and have family and new, healthy friends attend to celebrate his rebirth?
It's a great story, and I'm so happy for you both (and your kids). He sounds like a great guy and I send my congratulations to him on 2 years sober!0 -
That is an amazing story and I am so happy for you and your family that he made the right decision and stuck with it. If you can afford it, I would say a weekend away, either just the two of you or with the kids, would be perfect because it would be the gift of having time together, which is what this is all about.
As for a "thing", I would say maybe turning him to a new hobby so he can meet new friends? Maybe a photography class or something like that?0 -
I have no idea but I just wanted to say that your story made me cry sad and happy tears!!!0
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publish this letter that u have written as an example of what a husband can do and how u both got back-should be enough oh a gift if u appreciate+something in electronics-to be safe......cheers!!!!!!0
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amazing story!
I agree with the weekend alone for the 2 of you.0 -
What if you and the twins went and got professional pictures taken.. maybe dress them up in superman costumes and then in you letter you can write thanks for being our superman/ superhero?? Kinda cheesy but I think it would be something he could cherish forever.0
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I just read your story and it brought tears to my eyes. Congratulations to you BOTH on your successes! You've made it through a lot of tough times - REALLY tough times. You sound like you've built yourselves a pretty strong foundation for a strong future together.
Now, about that gift. I too have struggled with the age-old "what to get my hubby" thing and a very wise guy friend once gave me the answer that I've come back to time and again with success and it might fit the bill in your case too. My friend told me " that's easy, he's a guy ! Get him a toy! Guys like to play! " Take this concept and apply it to 2 of you - go play somewhere. How about a bicycle (or 2 or a trailer), a trip for 2 to a bed and breakfast that has fishing or some other activity that he might enjoy; tickets to a sports event that he REALLY would want to see, but would never get for himself. Go play - create a moment when you can take a picture and say "this is our celebration!"
Best wishes!0 -
thank-you everyone, these ideas are GREAT 0
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Your story is amazing and very inspirational! I have an idea that would have meaning and significance for many years...John Christian Designers creates jewelry to recognize special dates just like your husbands...a date that not only changed his life but yours and many others.
www.john-christian.com
Thanks for sharing your story!0 -
Such a great story! Congrats to the whole family!
I took a quick look on google and searched "celebrating sobriety," and "sobriety gifts." There are a bunch of sites addressing the issue - however many of them seem closely linked with 12 step programs (not sure if that's the route your husband took).
Here are some sites I thought looked interesting:
http://www.sobercelebrations.com/ Alcohol-free cruises and such... It may be something you want to hold off on until a milestone year.
http://serenityisforever.com/
I think the most important thing is that he realizes how proud of him you really are! 0 -
Hey,
How about getting him something from "Things Engraved" with the date, and "2 Years of Sobriety" engraved on it? They have things there that you could get on behalf of the boys....And cool desk clocks, watches, pens, Swiss Army knives, etc...
But something permanent that has the date etched on it serves as an even stronger reminder of his accomplishment....?
I bet he'd freakin' BAWL if you got him a teddy bear clock from the boys, or something like that with the "March 18th, 2 Years of Sobriety...Thank you for choosing US, Dad....Love Jaxon & Jayce" on it... He'd be a total wreck!!!
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Your story is very touching! Thank you for sharing.0
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