Sabotage by Spouse?!?

Amy95670

Ok I have been doing great, had a lot of stress lately (son was in hospital all last week), and I was absolutely stunned to get back home and step on the scale to discover I was another 3 lbs down!

Had a migraine yesterday as a result of all the stress, and hubby runs to the grocery store. Now he knows I have a weakness for Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia Frozen Yogurt...So he brings me my OWN pint along with the migraine meds I asked him to go pick up. He was trying to be sweet and make me feel better, so of course, I couldn't refuse. I told myself I was only going to eat one serving, but I ATE THE WHOLE PINT!!! (Yup, all 800 calories). Good thing I wasn't feeling well enough to eat dinner, yikes!!

Anyone have any tips for how to politely deal with this situation in the future???

ToniAnn411

I would just tell my husband, Thank you for thinking of me, I really enjoyed it, maybe next time you can bring home some fresh fruit, or something. I would also tell him before the next time it happens.

eillamarie

My boyfriend likes his junk and I usually have SUCH a hard time saying no. I'm trying to plan my calories around that actually. I know that in the evenings when we hang out that there will probably be junk, so I try to save some calories for then. Doesn't always work, but it's better to try than do nothing, right?

MSDRIZZ

I hope you and your son are 100% now. Just eat a serving of it and count it. Eat slowly so he doesnt notice that you're not eating thewhole thing. If he does notice tell him its so good you want to savesome for another time. If you do eat the whole thing don't beat yourself up about it just move on knowing you make good choices most of the time.

tritta01

I could say let him continue to do nice things for you or he may feel that you dong appreciate them (even though you may) but maybe next time so straight to the kitchen serve yourself up only on serving and put the rest in the freezer!

championnfl

Be Thankful! This is how husbands show there love for there wife. We only know one way to do this is by doing & giving things for you! Your truely blessed! The ball is really in your court,do you have to eat all at once?

Tarah1357

I just recently had a conversation with my boyfriend about this. I told him that in order for me to be successful with my weight loss goals, he needed to really support me and not try to encourage bad eating habits right now. I let him know that once and a while it wasn't going to hurt, but for the most part we needed to be on the same page about it. I simply asked him not to constantly ask to go out to eat (which he loves to do...but yet he's not the one gaining weight!) I also told him that when I go grocery shopping I'm not going to be buying any of the little cakes and cookie things that he likes to take to work, instead I'll buy the 100 calorie or lower fat versions of those items and we'll meet in the middle. It was a compromise, that will benefit us both. Hope this was helpful!

KKOLB1

just don't eat it. haha. I have a crazy good sense of will power and if I put my mind to it, even if my favorie chocolate is sitting right in front of me, I won't eat it if I say no to myself. Don't think about it. try to just forget that those things are there. but it is good to indulge once in a while within reason.

Tandksmommy11

Be honest with him. Let him know while you would LOVE to eat a whole one, you're not quite to the point where you can resist. Ask him to share it with you (if he has half, you can't finish it) if it's something you want.

italiabella

That was thoughtful of him.

Next time just have a small serving if you really want it. Then I just put it under hot water, and its gone. And the temptations goes down the drain with it.

SNorrisii

It's ok to have a "cheat day" once in a wile and your body wont punish you for it Enjoy It!!!

Mrs_McFadden

Why can't you just smile, and say "No thanks darling, I'm watching what I eat". I'd do that to my husband..in fact I described your situation and he said he wouldn't be hurt in the least.
I think you'll find that people aren't going to be quite as upset with you for saying no thanks to certain foods provided you are polite and upbeat about it.

hoosha61

My Wife bought 10 boxes of GS cookies! Im staying strong

Jasmine_Moonstone

I had the exact same problem every other time I have tried to loose weight. This time I told DH that I was VERY serious about wanting to loose the weight. I told him that I needed him to support me & that meant not bringing me home junk all the time. Also it meant that some of the junk he loves, but that I also love, would need to be kept out of the house for awhile untill I got to a better place with my eating habits. I was not mean to him, I just was flat out honest with him about it.

He has been SO good this time. He eats donuts, but not where I am, so I usually do not see them. He also is more willing to try new foods & eat a little better himself.

I hope that you're feeling better & that your son is better. I really think that talking to your DH is important. I know mine NEEDED to "see" that I was really serious this time around to understand that I wanted this to work.

nicoledandy

Sounds like this is some kind of man thing, because mine does the SAME THING to me! Even though he knows better, he will occasionally bring me home a chocolate bar; which is my weakness, I usually only eat 1/2. However, don't feel guilty, since you've been under a bit of stress, things like this are bound to happen! Also, I'm sure this is not an everyday thing for you, and as long as you're staying active, you should be good.

Valtishia

Its hard to do that. In the case of your husband I would tell him it was sweet but maybe next time could you get me something like (insert healthy yummy stuff here). In the case of other people, I just accept it and don't eat it. We had a kris kringle at my old job a couple years ago and this very nice lady got my name. Depsite knowing that I was starting to make this change and watching what I was eating, she got me chocolates. They weren't just any chocolates though, I had never heard of them before but it was a way ridiculous number for a small piece of it.. like 200-300 calories or something. So I gave them to my now husband to eat when we got home lol. And oddly, this lady had gotten lap band surgery, so she was also trying to lose weight.. so I don't understand the choice to give me this, but it was a sweet thought and I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

courtrptr13

I'm sure your husband was just trying to make you feel better, but I understand how tough it is to pass up temptations, especially ice cream. I would serve up one bowl and then save the rest for another time. As long as you plan for it and don't eat it every day, you should be fine. Good luck and hope both you and your son are feeling better

305muscle

ur hubby needs to be more suportive he gave you lots of bad sugar

AngelsKisses75

In my opinion you did the right thing. You ate it! :bigsmile:

I am sure he meant well. When someone reaches out the only way they know how to lift us up sometimes they know better than we do. With all that you were / are going through he was a sweetie. So snuggle him and girl go burn some of those calories!! :blushing:

If anything try to look past the calories and see the love, the calcium, the relief of just letting go for the moment, and that you have a loving family.

Today is a new day! Wishing you and yours a wealth of happiness and health! :drinker:

Amy95670

Thanks everybody!!! (And yes, we are doing much better this week!)...I plan to talk with DH AGAIN tonight and re-iterate. Just happens that Ice cream is a HUGE trigger for both he and I. I know it sounds weak of me, but I just don't have the willpower to have "just a little" (large part of why I'm on this site!). I have found that if I completely ELIMINATE trigger foods then the temptation is not there for me to give in to, so haven't been getting things like ice cream from the store. I think he got it because he knew it was a "comfort habit" more than anything, and I know he truly did just want to make me feel better. I am very lucky, don't doubt that one bit!!!

Hoosha61 - Your post gave me a much needed laugh, Hang in there!
AngelKisses75 - Great idea!

CakeFit21

Men are providers, he was trying to be nice. He was trying to make you feel good because this is the pattern that YOU set in the past. He didn't do it on purpose because "he know you have a weakness", he knows it's your favorite because he's been paying attention!!! Yes, he needs to be supportive, but he thought he was doing a nice thing because you all had a crappy week. Your weight loss and self control IS ON YOU. Have a few bites of ice cream say, "Oh, gosh I just can't eat this stuff like I used too." Toss it in the freezer and throw it out when he's not looking.

Sabotage? Really???

Giovanni_P

Casually mention how much you love fresh strawberries, oranges, grapes, etc. And next time he may bring yo a healthy treat instead.

JennsLosing

dont feel bad, my husband KNOWS i have a weakness for a good ol burger and fries, and he KNOWS ive really been at it trying to lose this weight. and yesterday we were driving by a random mom & pop type burger joint, and my husband said lets stop...and i couldnt argue lol...but i have to say...they have the best onion rings i have EVER had...and the burgers were good too!! lol but yeah, dont let one day discourage you...it happens to us all.

Jena_72

My Wife bought 10 boxes of GS cookies! Im staying strong

:noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway:

kdrew11

If this happens in future and you have any tupperware I would quickly divide up portions into your tupperware boxes so you only eat one portion at a time. I did this at Christmas when we got a massive box of celebrations chocs. I divided them into 2 sweet portions (approx 90 - 100 cals per 2) and wrapped each portion up in foil. I knew if I tried to resist altogether I'd end up eating the lot and if I took them straight from the tub I'd also have eaten the lot. This always works well for me with irresistible treats.

Jena_72

In my opinion you did the right thing. You ate it! :bigsmile:

I am sure he meant well. When someone reaches out the only way they know how to lift us up sometimes they know better than we do. With all that you were / are going through he was a sweetie. So snuggle him and girl go burn some of those calories!! :blushing:

If anything try to look past the calories and see the love, the calcium, the relief of just letting go for the moment, and that you have a loving family.

Today is a new day! Wishing you and yours a wealth of happiness and health! :drinker:

*LIKE*

Amy95670

Karincakes -

Whoa, maybe I need to clarify AGAIN...I know that my husband was not INTENTIONALLY sabotaging, and I truly did appeciate his gesture. I was trying to get a feel for how others deal with the temptations like this when their spouses present them with a bit of a challenge. I have established a controlled environment for myself at home so that I have a higher level of success...and it's working for the 1st time IN MY LIFE. It is NOT my habit...it is my husband's way of comforting himself, and I'm sure he thought...well, this works for me, maybe it'll work for her. Some of mine as well as some of his habits have become OUR bad habits. The problem with the situation for me is the emotional aspect of it. 1. Stress eating, and 2. Not wanting to hurt a significant other's feelings.

CakeFit21

I was was writing when you posted your previous clarification, so I didn't see it before my post. I do apologize if I offended you. However, you did use the word sabotage, and that is a strong accusation. I felt the need to point out that he was making a kind gesture and doing something that you have obviously appreciated in the past.

ToniAnn411

Karincakes -

Whoa, maybe I need to clarify AGAIN...I know that my husband was not INTENTIONALLY sabotaging, and I truly did appeciate his gesture. I was trying to get a feel for how others deal with the temptations like this when their spouses present them with a bit of a challenge. I have established a controlled environment for myself at home so that I have a higher level of success...and it's working for the 1st time IN MY LIFE. It is NOT my habit...it is my husband's way of comforting himself, and I'm sure he thought...well, this works for me, maybe it'll work for her. Some of mine as well as some of his habits have become OUR bad habits. The problem with the situation for me is the emotional aspect of it. 1. Stress eating, and 2. Not wanting to hurt a significant other's feelings.

Your husband wasn't trying to sabatoge you. He was trying to comfort you the best way he knows how. Sounds like a loving husband to me. Just like mine, I say we're lucky ladies!