:( Need some major encourgment

ali106

omg...first....you are beautiful....your children are beautiful!!!

You've lost 33 pounds that's amazing!!! even if you feel like its not right now..IT IS!!!

that man who fathered your babies...and left...in my opinion...is not being a father right now....he's being a shallow, louse, who doesn't deserve the tears that you cry or the love that you have for him....and if he can up and leave like that...then he's not even worth anymore of my energy talkin smack about him....ugh

BUT you my dear, you need to surround yourself w/ friends and family right now....you need support...and you'll get it here...but at home too....and I know its hard honey, but crying in front of the kids is not good....so please try to be strong for them...if they see you strong and confident...they'll be strong and confident about it too....nothing is your fault...and most very definitely nothing is their fault...

oh man hugs and prayers to you all, I can only imagine how you feel, its breaking' my heart that you are so sad about this and you're children are so distraught...makes me hate that guy more...sorry...

I say call family and friends, surround them and lean on them....and us anytime...it will get better I promise...it takes time, and YOU can do this...YOU are gorgeous and deserve to be treated as such....and you're children deserve more too honey....just focus on them...and making yourself healthy....as best you can.... big hugs girl!!!

ali :flowerforyou:

Eve23

I hope you are doing well today. We are all here for you and I know there are so many here who will cheer you on.

I don't know your kids but I was thinking about your bedtime dilema a little bit. Here is something that I tried with mine when they were young and dad had to go away. Not the same kind of situation but an idea just the same. Maybe take turns with the older ones letting them tuck the others in and telling them a story it could even be of something they got to do special. Then after they are tucked in have a cup of cocoa or tea and give them their own special story. This will give them some time with you and make them feel like they are helping mom out. It might be a bit of extra work at first but it will take the focus away from him leaving and back on the family where it needs to be.

Keep your head up you deserve happiness in your life.

jessidenn3

:brokenheart: Thank you every one for your words of encouragement. Today is better then what its been as of late. Life is full of suprises and changes and I am crossing my fingers that luck will soon come my way. I didn't think it could get any worse then I found out it could. Not only did that jack *kitten* leave me with out notice but come to find out today he has not been paying any bills for the last 5 months. I am $4500 behind on my mortage and $500 behind on electric. I will never let a man be in charge of paying bills again. I have no clue how it will be paid but I am going to have to do something soon before I lose my home. I hate what he has done to my kids and me. Instead of crying I am angry and I am scared to death. I have been excersiceing trying to lower my stress. I am taking my kids swimming later to try and comfort all of us.

LokiFae

:brokenheart: Thank you every one for your words of encouragement. Today is better then what its been as of late. Life is full of suprises and changes and I am crossing my fingers that luck will soon come my way. I didn't think it could get any worse then I found out it could. Not only did that jack *kitten* leave me with out notice but come to find out today he has not been paying any bills for the last 5 months. I am $4500 behind on my mortage and $500 behind on electric. I will never let a man be in charge of paying bills again. I have no clue how it will be paid but I am going to have to do something soon before I lose my home. I hate what he has done to my kids and me. Instead of crying I am angry and I am scared to death. I have been excersiceing trying to lower my stress. I am taking my kids swimming later to try and comfort all of us.

Oh my gosh, honey, that's AWFUL!!!! Are there any organizations or churches that you could go to to help with the bills? I know that here in IL if you're behind on your power bill and don't have any money to pay it, there's a place you can go and they'll pay it off for you. I hope there's someplace like that there!!! Is the house and everything in your name? I hope so. If it isn't and it's in his name, I would find an apartment or rental house ASAP and leave him to deal with the unpaid bills. My heart just breaks every time I think about your situation and I am really hoping that you get through everything intact and stronger, which I'm certain you can. Keep on trucking, and please keep updating. Even if you just need to vent, please let it out on us. That's what we're here for.
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

kerrilucko

Are you kidding me?! you look fabulous and look at those gorgeous children! Any man who could walk out on that is crazy. You are losing weight, and will continue to. Don't do it for any guy, do it for yourself and for those 3 kids who need their mom healthy now, more than ever! I know it feels like everything is crumbling but things will get better. Maybe your guy will come to his senses, maybe not, but losing weight is about YOU not about him. And love has nothing to do with your measurements. We are all here for you and wish you the best, things will get better!:flowerforyou:

This is about the bills- whose name are they in? (please say his)
And the mortgage? whose name is that under?
The thing is if it's under his name it's HIS debt. not yours.
And lastly, if this goon chooses not to be a part of your family, fine, but he made 3 babies with you, and that is expensive, and he will have to pay you support for those children until they are finished with their schooling. You need a lawyer and you need one quick.

I know you said you don't have any friends or family nearby, is there any way you could leave to visit family, and stay with the kids for a bit? getting away and being with loved ones might make you all feel better. good luck!

ali106

:brokenheart: Thank you every one for your words of encouragement. Today is better then what its been as of late. Life is full of suprises and changes and I am crossing my fingers that luck will soon come my way. I didn't think it could get any worse then I found out it could. Not only did that jack *kitten* leave me with out notice but come to find out today he has not been paying any bills for the last 5 months. I am $4500 behind on my mortage and $500 behind on electric. I will never let a man be in charge of paying bills again. I have no clue how it will be paid but I am going to have to do something soon before I lose my home. I hate what he has done to my kids and me. Instead of crying I am angry and I am scared to death. I have been excersiceing trying to lower my stress. I am taking my kids swimming later to try and comfort all of us.

OMG!!!!!!!!!! what a b&st&rd!

I'm soooo sorry honey, I agree to try and reach out to the community or church or family and friends, I wish there was more I could do for you guys!!!
big hugs and prayers your way
Ali

jessidenn3

All bills and mortage in my name... We already have a support order the judge only granted $50 a week and only two of the kids are his my oldest boys daddy pased away when he was a baby. I have been making phone calls all day no one seems to be able to help. I am going nuts...HELP:noway: :grumble:

ChubbyBunny

Seriously, what a class A jerk! I mean who does that?!?

Have you called the mortage people about the situation? Some people will work with you on bills if then know what's going on.

If he wants to play dirty and has a job, make sure he's paying child support.

ali106

omg...I would ask them what you're options are....I would think they would be able to work w/ you...Or I would hope they would....how about do you have free legal assistance programs that could assist you in your area.....??? I feel sooo bad honey!!!

big hugs....do you have family and friends who could help out for a bit?
ali

sapphyre0702

I am so sorry that this happened to you. 33 pounds is not nothing, dont let some unsupportive person's opinion derail you. You have three beautiful children, who have a mom that is healthier and stronger than ever before. I cant even imagine how hard it is for you right now, but someone that is not supportive of you and your dreams and someone that does not see the good in people or their dedication to being healthy is not someone you want on your side.

People come into our lives for a reason, they also leave for a reason too. You have lost 33 pounds and you will keep getting healthier and healthier, your children will grow up healthy and you will find someone that loves you for not only how beautiful you are on the outside, but how timelessly beautiful you are on the inside.

You can do it. We are never handed anything we can't handle. Try to laugh every day and soon instead of crying all the time you will laugh all the time! : )

Best of luck!

jessidenn3

Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

I have droped 2 sizes I am exsited. This is a good destraction from the hurt.

gabi_ele

First and foremost congratulations on getting healthy and loosing weight:flowerforyou:
I think the guy was a dud and just wanted to hurt your feelings, not to mention the mess he left you in. I will send you a private message to give you some ideas on what to do.
I think the best way to get back at the guy is to live good, keep up your weight loss, spend lots of time with your kids, find things to do that don't cost a lot, (picknick in the park, hike through the woods, a day at the lake and so on) get out, meet people, find a nice church, build a support system around you. You deserve so much more , don't limit your life by thinking you will never be happy again, happyness is an attitude ( and yes if you can't do it right now, fake it) There are a lot of great things still in your life, you have beautiful children that love you and an online support system and God loves you too. Trust me you will look back on this in a couple of years and think that it was a good thing, there are people out there who don't judge you by what you look like and expect you to be perfect, go out and make new friends...Just look how many you have on here

lessertess

I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this. I agree with the others. Your bf is not worth the grief. He said things to hurt you so and tried to make it sound like his failures are your fault. Don't take that on....his failures are his fault. I also agree that you need to see a lawyer, not only for child support, but you may have some recourse regarding the money that he stole from you rather than paying bills.....not sure but worth a try. If you work for a large company many of them offer Employee Assistance Programs. check into it as there might be a way for you to get free legal or counseling servicies. As for the late payments....if you call your mortgage company and other companies that are owed money they would probably be willing to work out a payment plan. Most companies would rather do that than have the account closed due to bankruptcy.

Good luck and hang in there, our thoughts are with you.

mrsyac2

Have you tried loans? Thats the only thing I can think of other than a payment plan-- Ask them for help meaning the company you owe- see if they can work with you- Usually the electric company will work with you as far as the mortgage company thats a tough one but try anyway--- You should also consider this a life lesson as far as its in your name you pay it-- Again I am very sorry this has happened to you-- but just remember what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger===

“I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches that I might be happy. I was given poverty that I might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

AbbyIsWangsterful

Forget him! You look beatiful in all of your pictures! That's just the devil's way of trying to bring you down and stop you from suceeding at your goals. Don't let him discourage you! Keep up the good work!:flowerforyou: