Where Does Self Control Come From?

katlou2

I know my weakness (there are a lot of them). I know my strengths (there are few) When it comes to weight loss and lifestyle change. I started here last June and for 4 months had great focus and results (27 pounds). I was doing it, making good choices, exercising and losing weight and feeling better. Then the MFP honeymoon was over and "normal" eating habits started again. I had learned enough to maintain(sort of) but that's not good enough, I still need to lose 50 pounds!

Today there were 4 boxes of girl scout cookies delivered to me ( I only remember ordering 2, but didn't want to argue) So all day long those cookies sat on my desk and I had all the will power in the world because I know me... I can't eat just a bite of something, it triggers some maniac that can't quit. I get home and my daughter sees them and so I opened the box for her. Well that is all it took. so 4 Thin Mints and 10 Somoas later I sit down to type this because how do you do it? Where does Self Control and discipline come from? I really need to find that place and live there. I feel very frustrated with myself.

I know, I know... Brush it off, tomorrow is another day, don't look back, it's all in the past (like 5 minutes ago, I can still taste the chocolaty goodness)

Any tips, advice, or butt kickin all appreciated...

Take care people of MFP and STAY AWAY FROM THE GIRL SCOUTS!!!!!

mostein

All I can say is I completely understand! Damn girl scouts, damn Mr. Christie, damn chips a hoy and grocery stor bakeries, damn you all

ErrataCorrige

Damn those girl scouts! They got me this year too. A whole box of Samoas in about four hours. I just know better than to buy anything like this. It was an impulse and I knew I shouldn't have bought them. I kept saying I wouldn't eat them, and then...well. I guess I don't know either. But I do know that they only way to resist something is to have it too far out of reach...as in not in my house!

kjensen15

I have the same issue with self control. My husband was trying to be nice and bought me a box of Godiva chocolate as part of my Valentine's gift. About a week after having the box I still had not opened it and one night he made that a comment something like, "really cool, guess you don't like what I got you." So of course I felt guilty and opened the box! I had the majority of the box finished in about 2 days!

fitoverfifty

I don't have self control either........if the stuff is in the house is calls out to me.......and I won't stop at just one or two either.

The only way for me is to NOT have it in the house.

I'm not really tempted to buy it at the store.....as long as I'm not hungry when I'm shopping..

So....I'm not too thrilled when others bring stuff in the house I don't want to eat.

mjf0461

I do understand what you mean. With that being said, I don't allow myself to even one of those forbidden fruits(thats my definition of them all). I stay away from them all cause I will down the entire box. I have found when I get a really bad sugar craving that the ceral honey bunches of oaks w/almonds, takes care of any craving I have. I pour 1 cup of it in a bowl and sit down and munch on it dry. With a diet dr pepper or crystal light or water and I am good for several days.. You just need to find that item that will quinch your desire for all that and use it when your in need of something sweet.. You can do it, you've been there before, You can DO IT!!!!!!!!

wolfchild59

It's pretty much as simple as it's name. It comes 100% from yourself. From your own mind over matter and willpower to not succumb to the many temptations that will always surround you. Sometimes I have entire conversations with myself in my head over wanting to splurge and something and fighting that. Ultimately the winner 99.5% of the time is not give into the temptation. Most of the time, the splurge/cheat/whatever ends up not being nearly as satisfying as you'd hoped and then all you have left after those few moments of eating are the calories and the guilt.

Also, one thing that undoubtably works, log everything before you eat it. If you're even thinking about eating it, look it up and drop it into your log and see what it does to your calories (and likely the rest of your nutrient levels) and that's usually a sure fire way to get me to walk away from the want.

peggybrant

I had ordered a case of GS tagalongs before the diet started and then they came after I started dieting. No I didn't even open them, I sold them. My self control comes from wanting this weight loss and body reformation more than I will ever want the cookies or breads or fats. To me it's a question of how bad do I want this. If I give in that means I don't want it very bad. I don't give in!

ZebraHead

A quote (not mine but a good one):

"Strength is a matter of a made up mind"

Now as you have said you know all these:

Happens to everyone
Keep getting up
Tomorrow will be better
etc...

This is but a small stumble on the road that will last the rest of your life. You will reach your goals as long as you never give up.

:flowerforyou:

living_4_me

I think that finding a mechanism to hold yourself accountable is what you need. Everything you're looking for comes from within - it is all a mindset. Now, that is much easier said than done - trust me, I know! Here are some suggestions (1) Set mini (realistic and achievable) goals for yourself; (2) having a personal support system that will hold you accountable (sometimes we need a little butt kicking to help us out - someone to remind us what we're working for; and (3) setting yourself up for success is VITAL. For example: If you don't order the cookies in the first place, you won't have the cookies there to tempt you (setting yourself up for success instead of failure). It's easier to make a good choice when there are not a bunch of bad choices "calling you on" if you will.

So instead of me telling you to forget about it and live another day, I'm going to tell you to use it as a learning tool - a 'what not to do' or a 'what situation not to put yourself into'.

I hope you don't find that harsh...I am definitely not telling you to beat yourself up over it! I mean it's done and over with you can't change it - you can only learn from it.

Good luck:)

todayishappy

Before you eat something bad, think to yourself, "How am I going to feel after eating all these cookies, will I feel better by giving in to this craving or will I feel worst?" I think we'd all agree you'll feel worst.

Food is for nutrition and energy. Food is not there for comfort, it's not here to cure boredom. You just need to stay motivated and keep your head in the right place!

AND throw out the rest of those cookies!!! Just throw them in the can outside right now, I dare you

llkilgore

I can take or leave girl scout cookies, but I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next 40 days without stuffing my face with Peeps.

Aetarac

I hear ya, usually i try and keep most of that stuff out of the house or get it only if I know people are coming over that will...um "help" and polish off the majority. what i have found helps me it is not so much a self control thing as deterrent is to brush teeth or take big gargle of mouth wash or even a strong sugar free mint gum. Nothing really tastes all that great after a mouth full of listerine. lol

tauns

Oh Girl Scout cookies are accountable for my last 2 lbs I gained I am sure!!

Ok here's how I did it! I have NO will power but then I changed. I said, "I am strong" I wrote, "I am strong". I repeated, "I am strong" while I worked out and it was hard. I repeated again, "I am strong" when food that looked DELICIOUS was put before me. I started to turn down food I really wanted. Before long I found repeating "I am strong" those same foods that were IMPOSSIBLE and binge foods were foods I really didn't want because I am strong.

I am not perfect at this by ANY means...please read first sentence of this whole thing!

One thing to remember - this is NOT a diet. You are making a life style change!!! There WILL be days that you go over calories. That is just the way it is. MAKE SURE TO ENTER YOUR FOOD EVERY DAY!!! In the end the only person this really matters to is you! You are accountable only to yourself and YOU already know what you ate. Don't hide it. Accept it. Entering in all the food makes it that I can look and say, "I was as strong as I could be today, tomorrow I will be stronger" then move on because you have already eaten that food...no use wasting precious time worrying and stewing over it and most likely causing yourself to stress and eat even more!!

Last - Believe in yourself! You can do this. It is hard! It can be discouraging. I still struggle daily with my food impulses! If you are maintaining at the calorie intake you are at, re-evaluate the amount you are taking in. Every 10 lbs you should re-evaluate.

You can do this! I know you can!!!!

kayemme

i think about the slavery of cocoa farms, and that usually curbs my appetite for chocolate unless it's fair trade.

for me, a lot of self control just comes by way of recognizing that i can't trust anyone with a profitable hand in the process to make any decision on my behalf. so ... no chocolate, coffee, bananas without fair trade / organic.

those items are sometimes expensive, so that also keeps it down. when i enjoy them, but just think of all the resources that go towards getting those items to me, and it makes me grateful and respectful.

i hope that helps.

AEB_WV

I don't know where it comes from Kat. ...sometimes I have it sometimes I don't. Some years I can ignore the GS cookies & some years I eat the boxes of them by myself. Probably why I look like this : )
It helps when everything else is going well...job stress is low, no $ issues, but you know how often that happens.
If we knew where self control comes from (well we do know, it comes from yourself, hence the name)...if we could bottle it and sell it, we'd make a fortune. Then I would hire a personal shopper, chef, and fitness coach so I wouldn't have to think about what I'm eating.

yodacho

Totally can relate. Last week, I had a Costco box of Rice Crispy Treats that I brought for one of my classes. There were quite a few left over, and they sat on my desk while I made parent phone calls. I thought, maybe I'll just have a bite or two of one in between calls. I think I stopped after 9. That day, I logged in Rice Crispy treats as my dinner!

My advice is to fill up on high fiber, low cal fruits and veggies with good lean protein, drink plenty of water, and get enough sleep so you're not so prone to cravings. Then, know exactly what you're dealing with calorie wise. I ate a Costco Chocolate Muffin that same week, and was horrified to discover it had 690 calories. If I do the math as I eat, I'm less likely to overdo, or even start if I feel it's totally not worth it.

Best of luck to you!

mapnerd2005

for me, the only way to maintain self control is to budget for "treats". I usually can budget in two cookies (or one serving, whatever the case may be), and if it's on my plan for the day, I'll (for the most part) stick to it. But I have to plan in advance. That being said, there are three boxes of girl scout cookies (peanut butter patties, peanut butter sandwiches, and thin mints) hidden in my closet. Out of sight, out of mind. I don't want to even think about those boxes until I get through spring break, which - luckily - is next week for us. But when I do get out the boxes, I will plan one serving of cookies per day. I have to ration them, because I waited until they the last weekend they were being sold here to buy them! I didn't want to be tempted to polish off the box and go get more!

katdanash

Dont beat yourself up we all have done this. I refuse to buy any junk that I like. I buy the things in moderation that my family likes but not what I like. I buy myself 90 calorie fiber one bars. That being said I sent my husband TO mickey d's for dinner last night . I ate only half of what I use to eat. So i guess its a start. Everytime I start to eat I ask myself " if I eat this is it worth it , do I really want to go through weight loss surgery. " if my answer is no I walk away. So i guess thats where my will power comes from and From Jesus. I pray for strength everyday.
Good Luck and God bless you on your journey.

MsPitt

It's still a struggle, but I'm getting better at remembering that there will be food again tomorrow. And again the day after that. There's a primal sort of urge to eat as much as I can, but it's a false urge because food is not scarce in my life right now, and I have to stop and remember that. It's ok if I leave a couple of bites on my plate now, because I can eat again later if I get really hungry.

I think this would be more difficult if I had children though, because there's more feeling that the 'last' of something (like a thin mint) is real. There's more competition for the food in homes that have children. The thing is, thin mints will be around next year. And there are other cookies that taste even better than thin mints that I might be able to eat next week. I think self control and discipline come from awareness. When we are not aware, we sometimes make choices based on our more primal desires, even when they are not in our long-term interest. That's probably because a human's long-term interest is a relatively new concept when you consider the millennia of history behind us.

LukeEalden

It's pretty much as simple as it's name. It comes 100% from yourself. From your own mind over matter and willpower to not succumb to the many temptations that will always surround you. Sometimes I have entire conversations with myself in my head over wanting to splurge and something and fighting that. Ultimately the winner 99.5% of the time is not give into the temptation. Most of the time, the splurge/cheat/whatever ends up not being nearly as satisfying as you'd hoped and then all you have left after those few moments of eating are the calories and the guilt.

Also, one thing that undoubtably works, log everything before you eat it. If you're even thinking about eating it, look it up and drop it into your log and see what it does to your calories (and likely the rest of your nutrient levels) and that's usually a sure fire way to get me to walk away from the want.

Great response, totally agree with this.

In addition, if I am even slightly tempted at something I know I shouldn't, I just remember what I was like at the start, and where I want to get to. I often do that whilst working out too, thinking about how I'll feel, how people will compliment me and look at me differently, etc etc. I find this really strong motivation and control mechanism.

sincitylulu

I have kids too. I know how hard it is to buy them treats and to do your best to refrain from eating them. If I know that I can't control myself then I don't bring said item into the house. That's the only way I can refrain.

c7eat2live

I lost control on girlscount cookies too. I just threw out ALL the remainders of every box. probably four or five rolls of cookies. but hey, they are gone so all is well!

MiketotheJ

My problem was impulse buying on the way to and from work, so I changed all my regular driving routes to bypass all the fast food joints, I quit paying for gas with cash so I didn't have to go inside & face the Little Debbie and Hostess inquisitions, and a few othef things to break thd impulse snacking. I also took to logging any "rewards" ahead of time, like the slice of carrot cake awaiting me on Saturday, so I had something to look forward to.

All that & it's still tough. The best thing, I've found, was to stay busy. The cravings really set in when I'm bored, so I avoid being idle at all cost.

sweetheart03622

Just read a blog today with great advice...

Before you eat something you really want, stop and think of 10 things you want more (i.e. a smaller waistline and new clothes). If you can't come up with 10, then eat away. Trust me, you'll be able to come up with many more than 10!

corpus_validum

I had ordered a case of GS tagalongs before the diet started and then they came after I started dieting. No I didn't even open them, I sold them. My self control comes from wanting this weight loss and body reformation more than I will ever want the cookies or breads or fats. To me it's a question of how bad do I want this. If I give in that means I don't want it very bad. I don't give in!

So agree with this.

Boils down to DESIRE for me. What do I desire more? To get my body in the best shape possible or this tempting snack. Bigger theme: ultimate goal vs. instant gratification; and knowing that instant gratification has negative consequences. I try to apply this mindset to every possible moment of _(fill in the blank)_.

But I'll get off the soapbox now since I'm far from having any better self control than many of you.

callipygianchronicle

Well… have you looked at why you stopped logging and eating properly when you were only 1/3 of the way to your goal? In my opinion, THAT is where you need to go. That is why you ate more cookies than your calories allow, and filled your body with sugar and fat, instead of something wholesome and good.

Last year, you gave yourself permission to quit. You didn’t call it quitting, but something in you gave up.

There was a reason for that and I suspect that reason rears its ugly head again and again in your life. We all have these voices, and our way through this journey is to learn how to shut them up.

Go there. Spend some time with that voice, and blow it up. It is preventing you from making choices that advance you toward better health and a body that makes you feel proud and in balance. It’s been hanging around too long, and it’s time to show it the door. Kick it out.

Do the hard, spiritual, introspective work it takes to commit to a life of self-care. Because until you do, you will find yourself in this place again and again. There is no diet or exercise in this world, that can save us from a deep seated belief in our own inadequacy. But when we know we are Enough, we can forgive ourselves for eating a cookie when we know we should have eaten an apple. Because our self-worth doesn’t rise and fall based on what we do and do not eat.

pinkgigi

MrsPitt that is such a great response. I noticed this feeling in me a couple of weeks ago when I was sharing Nachos with my children, I had an urge to eat quickly before it's all gone, but I reminded myself there is enough and I should just have a few because I don't need any more.

I love Girl Guide biscuits (in Australia) as well, I really can't have very yummy stuff in the house, except I do buy icecream occasionally now for the children, but I have to walk out of the room when they eat it.

I know that my after dinner time is my vulnerable time, so I make sure I am occupied (with craft activities), so that I am not bored and can distract myself from the food calling me in the kitchen.

You don't really need herculean self-control, just one decision in this one second of time. Often you can make a deal with yourself: I'll put 1 or 2 aside for after dinner if I meet my calorie/exercise goal today?

GG

jltodd99

Self control comes from yourself.
That being said - I must have some great self control so far this GS cookie season. My daughter is in the process of selling 1,000 boxes and they are all stored in my dining room. Needless to say - I stay out of the dining room until they are sold. I have not had one cookie so far this year because I know I won't stop at 2 Mints, I will eat the entire sleeve! I keep praying that she sells these cookies soon to remove the temptation! 400 boxes down, 600 to go.

weightedfootsteps

Okay...I know exactly how you feel. I splurged this morning and shared a king sized kit kat with my sis and doughnuts bad I know. It doesn't stop there. I was at the grocery store and was doing wonderful and decided to get some mini ice cream sandwiches for the kids and some skinny cow ice cream sandwiches for me which are 140 cals. I get home and it well past lunch time...my sis is still here. I thought she would leave. decided to have just one ice cream sandwich. I thought okay I need to log all this in and be so mad at myself.. I figured out how to eat healthy today and still come in under calories..But I have to have more self control...or I'm gonna end up splurging and starving just to stay under cal. I plan to still exercise tonight..not sure how long but it will at least be 100 calorie loss. hopefully I will do more..I need to get that just dance program for wii..I know that will be fun and a good "weigh" to drop the weight...lol. Probably picking it up this weekend All I can say is imagine that one picture of yourself where you actually had to ask someone do I really look that way? I swear my mirror lies or my eyes do one or the other..I know I'm obese but dang...when you see it in a full body picture your eyes pop out. So I am taking over my life one step at a time. Good luck to everyone and Good health. Feel free to add me as a friend.

melzteach

For me I have to remember what my ultimate health and fitness goals are: to loose a few pounds, tone the "jiggly" parts, and gain muscle definition.
I have very few NO foods: french fries, candy other than chocolate, GS cookies. With those few things I know I have no self control, I can't eat just one so I don't eat them at all.
I know I'll never reach my goals if I don't exercise and really push myself while I'm doing it.
If there is a special snack or meal I want to have I'll be sure to do a longer workout or squeeze in an extra. I plan my meals out and on most days I'll log in my food the day before or first thing in the morning. When I eat I make a point of combining: carbohydrates, protein, and fat so I'll feel full longer.
Other than that a good nights, sleep and plenty of water help my stay motivated and feed into my self-control. I hope this helps and good luck to you!