When I hear laughter....

toots99

I feel that way...but when girls look at me. I check to make sure my fly is zipped or my hair must look stupid. Or it's one more person saying I look like Jack Black.

Hmm, I didn't think Jack Black when I saw your picture.

Shannon023

All you have to do is read these posts to realize that 99% of people aren't even aware of anything past their own noses. It took me 40 years to figure it out, but now I just don't care!

^^ THIS ^^

You girls are soooooo pretty!!!! Please notice it until you're older and it's too late!

alecta337

All you have to do is read these posts to realize that 99% of people aren't even aware of anything past their own noses. It took me 40 years to figure it out, but now I just don't care!

I know that there are people out there dealing with a lot worse things than being self conscious, but isn't this site supposed to be about supporting each other?

Obviously I have confidence issues and I was just looking for other people who have the same issues as me. If you think the people who aren't confident are naive and "aren't aware of anything past their own noses", you should just leave us alone so we can talk to each other and give each other the support we need. We don't need someone telling us that we're stupid and that we shouldn't worry about it. Because when it comes down to it, I am worried about the way I look and the way I feel. Isn't that why we're all here? To look and feel better?

Please don't be hating on me and my insecure friends.

kez193

It's all about perception, and a reflection of how you feel placed into the mouths and minds of others, unless they're pointing at you and laughing try to remember that you can't know what other people are thinking, so try to do the thinking for them e.g. "there must be a comedian in that group" or "it's nice to hear people having fun" IT TAKES A LOT OF PRACTICE retraining yourself towards the positive thoughts, instead of the negative, but you get used to it. eventually!

I have a poor self image, and find it difficult to accept compliments etc. When I was dating a guy whom I would consider a bit of a dish, my perception of why people were looking at me (when I was strutting through town) was completely more positive than my perception of why people were looking at me before and since then, after realising that it was all in my head and not in theirs I don't know, I guess I reconciled with myself and just accepted that unless someone walks up to me and says "you're short" "you're fat" "you're weird looking" I'll just keep thinking positively....

and if someone does walk up to me and say those things, well..... I will probably use my new wii boxing skills to kick *kitten*, rude, obnoxious people shouldn't be allowed to get away with such things!

CaroseH

All you have to do is read these posts to realize that 99% of people aren't even aware of anything past their own noses. It took me 40 years to figure it out, but now I just don't care!

I know that there are people out there dealing with a lot worse things than being self conscious, but isn't this site supposed to be about supporting each other?

Obviously I have confidence issues and I was just looking for other people who have the same issues as me. If you think the people who aren't confident are naive and "aren't aware of anything past their own noses", you should just leave us alone so we can talk to each other and give each other the support we need. We don't need someone telling us that we're stupid and that we shouldn't worry about it. Because when it comes down to it, I am worried about the way I look and the way I feel. Isn't that why we're all here? To look and feel better?

Please don't be hating on me and my insecure friends.

I think with that comment she meant that those people you hear laughing or looking at you are the ones who can't see past their noses, not you or the other people who say they are having the same confidence qualms as you! Like everyone is so wrapped up in themselves they are most likely not hating on others?

idk, but I'm happy to hear you have a boyfriend who makes you feel safe! Best of luck with your journey!

Suzy12

All you have to do is read these posts to realize that 99% of people aren't even aware of anything past their own noses. It took me 40 years to figure it out, but now I just don't care!

I know that there are people out there dealing with a lot worse things than being self conscious, but isn't this site supposed to be about supporting each other?

Obviously I have confidence issues and I was just looking for other people who have the same issues as me. If you think the people who aren't confident are naive and "aren't aware of anything past their own noses", you should just leave us alone so we can talk to each other and give each other the support we need. We don't need someone telling us that we're stupid and that we shouldn't worry about it. Because when it comes down to it, I am worried about the way I look and the way I feel. Isn't that why we're all here? To look and feel better?

Please don't be hating on me and my insecure friends.

I think with that comment she meant that those people you hear laughing or looking at you are the ones who can't see past their noses, not you or the other people who say they are having the same confidence qualms as you! Like everyone is so wrapped up in themselves they are most likely not hating on others?

idk, but I'm happy to hear you have a boyfriend who makes you feel safe! Best of luck with your journey!

I totally agree with this post. I think she was just saying that even though you might THINK people are talking, laughing, etc at you, that they really aren't aware of anything past their own noses. Certainly it was not meant as a "put down" post at all - I don't believe. Being self-conscious is hard, especially when you're young. As you get older, you get more thick-skinned and, as this poster said "just don't care" so much about what others are thinking! Still, looking for someone who does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in your area would be good thing. CBT can help you reframe your negative self thoughts and thereby increase your self-esteem substantially. Best of luck!

kayemme

looking for someone who does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in your area would be good thing. CBT can help you reframe your negative self thoughts and thereby increase your self-esteem substantially. Best of luck!

so will meditation.

heathersmilez

That's a stage in childhood development that we are supposed to outgrow, I forget the exact term but it has to do with self reflection and the belief that everyone is still looking at them, you are the focus wherever you go.

Due to the emphasis on beauty on women in the medial we are more susceptible to it than others but really, it's something we were supposed to get over as a child.

If a certain outfit makes you uncomfortable such as slightly too short, clinging or too much cleavage popping out avoid the outfit but don't avoid the real world, it truly is all in your head.

Ps: carry a thin mirror to check out your smile after dinner to make sure there really is nothing in your teeth, ha ha!

heathersmilez

I also find it very rude when you go into a nail salon and they speak english but once you sit down they start talking in a different language staring at you. It makes me so uncomfortable that I have walked out before and went somewhere else!!

I hope you can work on this b/c they really aren't talking about you and you don't want to miss out on life. There are several Chinese nail salons in my area and if they start speaking in Mandarin or Chinese, I don't mind, it's their first language, what if someone told you, you couldn’t speak English in your own store/business anymore b/c the area you were in was dominated by another culture/language? And really, what is the worst they could they possibly be saying about you? You bite your nails how unfeminine? They usually say that to me in English, ha! My experience has also only been with Asian cultures and it has been a very pleasant experience, extremely polite, respect-filled culture.

UmbraForzare

Yup, I'm with you on this one.

Mainly because I've actually caught people giggling and whispering about me - so I know I'm not being paranoid.
These are people that I don't know - they think it's amusing to see someone who isn't even 30 struggling to walk, having to hold on to a stick and another person for support and they of course put it down to me being overweight.

I've had people not even be that "subtle" about it as well -shrugs- it upsets me, it makes me sad and it makes me angry; but what can you do?
You can't educate these rude individuals to not make judgments about others partly because it's human nature to do so and partly because some people like to slate others to make themselves feel better.

Jbirx

I feel self confident every time I walk down the street but I make myself do it, I try to make eye contact and not look at the floor as I pass people.

I find my iPod actually helps me as I can become distracted by the music and not so conscience of everything else.

I also found out yesterday that it is worth all the effort as on my way to town, I smile at a man coming the other way and said good morning. He stopped me and said that my smile was lovely and reminded him of the sun rising in the morning and then he kissed my hand and tipped his hat, ok so he was in his eighties, but it still made my day and reminded me to walk with my head held high.

What goes through your mind is probably 100 times worse than anything anyone actually thinks as you walk past.

It's easy to say but thinking positive really does work and affect's your outlook also. Good luck

autumn13

This post has bothered me very much......Ladies u are all very beautiful...people that need to lower other peoples self worth only feel low about themselves...This in return makes them feel better.Stand up, be proud, love who u are!

Chrizzle21

This post has bothered me very much......Ladies u are all very beautiful...people that need to lower other peoples self worth only feel low about themselves...This in return makes them feel better.Stand up, be proud, love who u are!

AMEN sister!

kayemme

That's a stage in childhood development that we are supposed to outgrow, I forget the exact term but it has to do with self reflection and the belief that everyone is still looking at them, you are the focus wherever you go.

if not properly tended to, this can easily develop into narcissism. but most of this has to do with the thoughts of the "afflicted" person... for example,

if i'm walking around in the world judging all the people i see, "he's fat, he's gross, she's skinny, she's skanky, she's uptight, she's pretty, he's hot, she looks like her dog's *kitten*, she needs a hair cut" what i'm really doing is reflecting on the things i want to change about myself, but not actually doing anything about it except criticizing other people for stupid, petty things.

therefore, when i'm walking around in the world, i can only imagine that other people are doing the same thing. some of them are, sure, but most of them really do not give one rats' *kitten* about me on a superficial level. and those that do, well, i only hope they are able to break their cycle of judgment and self-loathing.

does that make sense? most people see past the surface, so what you need to do is learn to do that, too.

Jon_Rod

I think we all automatically think that someone is looking at us in a negative way when those things happen....
But honestly when I clicked on this post the first thing I thought about was how pretty you are. Maybe those guys that are looking at you are thinking the same thing. Smile at them and hold your head high.
It might just be a guy that thinks you look good and is too shy to come up and talk to you.....

I have to Agree

Most of the time we guys are checking you out

Chiquita_Banana

i know the feeling.. thought i was a little paranoid for a while... but it was more when i was younger... esteem issues i guess