Help I stopped breast feeding

Mary24

OK my baby doesn't want my breast milk anymore, she is going to be 1 year on the 23ed of this month.
I so scared I'm going to gain weight much faster now
I know I cant go over my calories anymore like before I'd go like 300 over sometimes more, and I always thought it was OK because I was breastfeeding.

I'm also afraid sometimes of losing weight, People are so nice to me, and men have opened doors for me, they smile and look me in the eye, and when that happens I back away from losing anymore weight I think why cant they be nice to me on a day I look and feel ugly, don't get me wrong I love it when people are nice, its just I've been this way (over weight that is) for so long, that I find the attention uncomftorable.

How do I get over this, because in my heart of hearts I really want all this extra weight gone.

Mary at rock bottom:sad:

Mary24

OK my baby doesn't want my breast milk anymore, she is going to be 1 year on the 23ed of this month.
I so scared I'm going to gain weight much faster now
I know I cant go over my calories anymore like before I'd go like 300 over sometimes more, and I always thought it was OK because I was breastfeeding.

I'm also afraid sometimes of losing weight, People are so nice to me, and men have opened doors for me, they smile and look me in the eye, and when that happens I back away from losing anymore weight I think why cant they be nice to me on a day I look and feel ugly, don't get me wrong I love it when people are nice, its just I've been this way (over weight that is) for so long, that I find the attention uncomftorable.

How do I get over this, because in my heart of hearts I really want all this extra weight gone.

Mary at rock bottom:sad:

ChubbyBunny

OK my baby doesn't want my breast milk anymore, she is going to be 1 year on the 23ed of this month.
I so scared I'm going to gain weight much faster now
I know I cant go over my calories anymore like before I'd go like 300 over sometimes more, and I always thought it was OK because I was breastfeeding.

I'm also afraid sometimes of losing weight, People are so nice to me, and men have opened doors for me, they smile and look me in the eye, and when that happens I back away from losing anymore weight I think why cant they be nice to me on a day I look and feel ugly, don't get me wrong I love it when people are nice, its just I've been this way (over weight that is) for so long, that I find the attention uncomftorable.

How do I get over this, because in my heart of hearts I really want all this extra weight gone.

Mary at rock bottom:sad:

Oh hun! I know where you are comin from.....well not the breastfeeding part. I'd just make sure your noting all the food you are eating.

i like to call this little fear of losing weight/accomplishing this goal as the "fear of success".
I too have put off losing weight because of the same reasons. Things are different when you are "more attractive" to others, I mean we all want to be loved for who we are...no matter the size....but reality some people just can't or won't liike/love you based off your appearance.

What it boils down to is do you want to let them determine who you become or do you want that (kidding)

B-

Fit2btied

Awww...breastfeeding is great isn't it? I know that you'll miss it, but our babes must grow up! And, yes, you'll be burning fewer calories. But you can adjust your calorie intake and increase your level of exercise to compensate for the difference. I didn't gain any weight after I stopped breastfeeding, but I stayed very active playing outside and chasing them around! And as the weight comes off, you'll feel more energetic for your little one! And try not to sabotage your efforts by being afraid to lose the weight. If you think people look at you differently when you feel like you look and feel ugly, you probably are standoffish and carry yourself like you don't feel great, and people will pick up on that. When you feel pretty, you have a bounce in your step, and people will pick up on that, too! Keep on the MFP plan, and you'll do great!

hmmmm

I know this is hard but you want to do this for yourself and your baby right?
Make a list of all the reasons you want to lose weight and stick it on your bathroom mirror. Read it daily. You can even make a list of all the reasons you don't want to lose weight and then compare the lists. I found my list of not wanting to lose weight trivial and selfish. This will help remind you what your heart of hearts really wants and why!!:happy:
I found eating better is actually getting easier now because I want to feed my kids more nutritious food and want them to be healthy. I have the same insecurities as you have about losing weight, and attention when I am not wanting it, is definitely uncomfortable. But then I think about the positive attention I want.... ie. my fiance, friends, families and I definitely want my children to be proud of their mommy when they get older and have to deal with school and everything that brings.
Good Luck to you!!!

JMAMA

It is such a hormonal change when you stop nursing. You are no longer producing the happy, attachment hormone oxytocin. Your body and mind will adjust in time. Until then think positive thoughts. Change can be scary, whether its the change to stop breastfeeding, or a change in weight. Keep your chin up. This will pass. The good news is, when I stopped nursing I dropped about ten pounds. A breastfeeding mom holds on to fat stores in case we go into starvation mode then we can still feed our babies...

Believe in your self, I get the feeling that you are a wonderful mom in addition to so many other things!

KrisKabob

Hi Mary!

Breastfeeding is so special... it's great to hear that someone has made that effort. Unfortunately for me my son weaned himself at 5 1/2 months. With that said it actually worked in my favor as far as weightloss is concerned. Breastfeeding, unlike most mothers, KEPT the weight on me. It was probably something I was doing wrong like over-eating to compensate, etc. But once I stopped breastfeeding I finally started losing weight better because I didn't feel like I had to eat all the time to make sure I was providing good nourishment for my baby.

As far as the attention during/after weightloss... GIRL, YOU GOTTA GET USE TO THAT! :flowerforyou: It seems that many people, especially women, hide behind their weight - and that's just what weight does... it hides you! As you lose more people are going to notice your beautiful cheek bones, sexy waistline, lean legs, etc. You're a beautiful woman!!! Be proud of that!!! :bigsmile:

Kris

Mary24

Thank you so much some really good points you have made, and so true.
I really hope my weight would come off faster now but when my sister stopped breastfeeding she gained weight much faster.

Kris
Thank you so much for that message you posted, I would love to see who's inside of me, the hidden me.

JMAMA
I never thought that my hormones would change once I'd stop breastfeeding, I have been feeling down allot these past few days.

hmmmm
I do want to do this for myself and for my family, its just when I need help or support I just shut down from the people around me until its to late and I've gained some weight back.

fit2btied
I do sabotage myself more than I may even realize, I always try and find some excuse to stop any change l have made and when l do it all goes downhill from there.

B-
I have a big fear of success, I do want people to like me for who l am but I also want to feel good about myself and exercising and eating healthy make me feel so good that I started wearing makeup and nicer cloths, and l never ever used to wear makeup I only started wearing it when I started MFP and I don't like going out without it anymore, its become a habit now and I know if i exercised regularly it would become a habit too same with eating healthy and portion control.

Thank you so much.

LokiFae

I just wanted to add that you really do need to watch your hormones. When I stopped pumping (my son never did latch on so I pumped every three hours for 4 months. bleh.) I fell into a really really deep depression. It had to do with a slight postpartum depression I had, but it really deepened when I stopped making milk. That's when I gained most of my weight that I now need to lose. So at least you're here, so you won't just gain and gain and gain like I did!!! I just wanted to warn you to be careful and watch your hormones. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Mary24

I just wanted to add that you really do need to watch your hormones. When I stopped pumping (my son never did latch on so I pumped every three hours for 4 months. bleh.) I fell into a really really deep depression. It had to do with a slight postpartum depression I had, but it really deepened when I stopped making milk. That's when I gained most of my weight that I now need to lose. So at least you're here, so you won't just gain and gain and gain like I did!!! I just wanted to warn you to be careful and watch your hormones. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Thank you i just realized it myself that it could be hormonal changes that's making me so depressed.
I'm just back from my walk and it did me some good. I do not want to gian weight, I also feel a nasty cold coming on, I'm light headed and my bones are aching.:sick:

mommyskis

I quit nursing my son at 11 months, when he got top and bottom teeth! It did not slow my weight-loss at all, but I had not really counted in breastfeeding in my calories as he was only feeding 3 times a day and was eating quite a bit of food by this time. I was less hungry after this too. I also was very emotional at this time. Everything made me cry, I had no patience with my kids, etc. My poor husband didn't know what was going on. Then suddenly, I remembered the hormone deal and that explained it. I have to say I didn't feel like myself again until I got my first period. Sure didn't miss that - yuck! Also had forgotten about the extra pounds you "gain" that time of the month too. Good luck to you, just knowing it's hormones and you're not crazy can help sometimes and enjoy the extra attention!