Pump'n Iron

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I kinda want to kick it up a notch. I do notttt want to get bulky and muscely but I do wanna get more definition. Right now I'm doing 3 sets of 12 of like 5 lbs when im working on shoulders. like 5 pounds working on bi's 30-40 pounds working on back and 30-40 pounds on chest. and i notice since doing that, that its helped with weight loss and i notice a tiny bit of definition but i want a little more. What should I do. Is it heavier weight with more sets of less reps? keep in mind i DO NOT want to bulk up. I know women dont really bulk up anyways because of the lack in testosteron but i do see some women at the gym that could kick some mean *kitten*.

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