MFP for children

crazymama2two

shes only 8. dont do that to her...besides YOU control what goes on her plate...

RoadDog

I think having children focussing on something like MFP is not necessarily good for them. Could lead to eating disorders. I think a better idea is helping them by setting a good example and serving balanced meals. Taking them for walks.

UmbraForzare

@sonjavon - oh how I understand what you went through....I was 11 when I was forced into Weight Watchers. I wasn't overweight, I just developed really early (breasts developed at 8/9 and periods started at 10) and that plus puberty = puppy fat.

I hated it, everyone in my school knew because the person that forced me into WW had phoned the school dinner ladies and told them that the times I had a school meal, I was only allowed half portions and there was a long list of what I could not eat.
I was told this by the dinner ladies, while I was in line for lunch - I had had no idea beforehand.

That whole thing gave me a really bad food relationship which I'm slowly starting to deal with now; but as a child and teenager that plagued me.

Best advice I can give has already been given - encourage her with activities she enjoys, make sure that she keeps eating healthily - maybe getting everyone involved with menu planning, making healthy snacks together, etc...?

gibbsgirl

Go to Mypyramid.gov. On the right hand side, you will see Get a Personalized Plan. Enter her age and sex and it will tell you how many servings of each food group she should be eating at her age. It's a starting point, at least.

sonjavon

@sonjavon - oh how I understand what you went through....I was 11 when I was forced into Weight Watchers. I wasn't overweight, I just developed really early (breasts developed at 8/9 and periods started at 10) and that plus puberty = puppy fat.

I hated it, everyone in my school knew because the person that forced me into WW had phoned the school dinner ladies and told them that the times I had a school meal, I was only allowed half portions and there was a long list of what I could not eat.
I was told this by the dinner ladies, while I was in line for lunch - I had had no idea beforehand.

That whole thing gave me a really bad food relationship which I'm slowly starting to deal with now; but as a child and teenager that plagued me.

Best advice I can give has already been given - encourage her with activities she enjoys, make sure that she keeps eating healthily - maybe getting everyone involved with menu planning, making healthy snacks together, etc...?

See... and this is why I LOVE MFP. There is always someone here that understands what you're going through. I'm sorry that you had to go through that... how embarassing! If you ever need someone to talk to as you're working through these things.. let me know. I'm learning to understand where my dad was coming from... and I'm learning to forgive.

snookemz

If portions are a problem them you have all the control in the world
To discourage 2nds, I keep ALL the food in the kitchen. The only things at the table are place settings with the appropriate servings on them and salt and pepper. Even the salt and pepper is not free reign because my kids are 2 and 7 lol they'd have PILES of pepper if i let them!
We also all drink water at dinner - no juice, no soda (not allowed in the house), no coffee.
I only cook enough of the main dish for everyone to have 1 serving that's the right size for them.
I keep my sides healthy and low cal - most of the calories come from the main dish.
I also serve at least 1 veg with every meal, usually 2.

I allow seconds on sides - 1 second on the non-veg side and unlimited on the veg(s).

It helps a TON. If the kids (or me!) finish everything on our plate we can have seconds, but the first second we have is a veggie. If they're still hungry they can have 1/2 a side portion of the grain side and then more veggies.

Keeping the food in the kitchen helps a TON from eating just because we see it. Its REALLY easy to say "Oh that's not enough to save for later but I don't want to toss it..." and eat 500 calories. REALLY easy.

My kids also aren't allowed to get their own stuff out of the kitchen - first of all, they'll leave the fridge open and make a massive mess! but it also prevents them from eating the less healthy stuff (which is hard to find in THIS house but we're all moving back to our other family home where my step dad lives and he's a donut stick junkie!). We do have some unhealthy kid cereals and the kids will leave a cereal trail if I let them get in the kitchen alone! I know it SOUNDS controlling, but I don't tell my kids no to food ever. I don't want them to have issues with feeling deprived and hoarding food in their rooms (like I did because my mom tried to control my weight and my doctors started putting me on diets at 6)

Maybe instead of tracking her foods you can challenge her. Is she driven?
Maybe challenge her to 90 veg servings in 30 days! That could open her up to new foods too! It would also help open your whole family to more veggies - maybe you'll find things to make a staple in your house

Is she public schooled or homeschooled? I noticed my kid LOST a ton of weight in public school because he didn't have the time to eat but a lot of his classmates GAINED a ton because they shoved food in and lost that "I'm full" sensation - before public school they could eat 1/2 their lunch tray, but with public school they were able to shovel it all in at lightening speed and had no clue when they were full. If she's eating really quickly, all you can do (besides homeschool - which rocks, my kid loves it) is pack her a lunch because you'll notice the foods they eat in public (most place at least - some are a lot better these days) are very processed, that means they break down and digest faster too which leads to feeling hungry really quickly. if she's coming home starving then you can bet she's not eating the right things during the day.

If you're already an active family and she's already in activities then that's all I have - and there is no reason to believe she won't have a growth spurt up instead of out
FWIW, my 2 year old is 40lbs - she'll be 3 in May and she's the height of your average 4 year old. Her pedi said I needed to work on her portions. I changed pedis. Last thing my daugther needs is a doctor who will harp on her weight and make her feel like she's bad, wrong, different, or fat. Its the community's job to encourage the children around them - its not just the parent's job. We should all be trying to make children feel valued, smart, and cherished and if anyone in her life makes her feel badly then they should be out of her life. Those words really do imprint on a child and shape the person they will be.

healthyjen342

Interesting topic.

UmbraForzare

See... and this is why I LOVE MFP. There is always someone here that understands what you're going through. I'm sorry that you had to go through that... how embarassing! If you ever need someone to talk to as you're working through these things.. let me know. I'm learning to understand where my dad was coming from... and I'm learning to forgive.

Thank you - that's so kind of you.
It's a hard path to come back from, I think the hardest thing is forgiving the people that put us in that position.

LazyMogg

Thank you everyone! I actually agree very much with all of you and for several years now we've been working on modeling a healthy lifestyle with our children. We have 5 children ages 15 years to 14 months old. 4 boys and one girl! Our daughter is wonderful and we compliment her all the time on how beautiful she is. I just notice that she really has trouble with portion control and I often will say to her "are you really hungry for more?". She can easily eat more than I do. Please know that we have never told her that she's fat or overweight. We always tell her that we want her to be healthy! The reason I asked the question is because I honestly don't know how much food I should allow her to eat. She is in dance class and we work out with her. We do lots of outside family activities - weather permitting.

Our 15 yr old eats very healthy and work out regularily with football. Our 12 yr old has anxiety and food issues big time. Because of his behaviors towards food, we notice it reflecting on the other younger children. It is very frustrating. I often tell my children that food is fuel for energy.

I honestly just wanted to track her calories so she and I could measure portion control for just a short time. If she eats something she really likes, she's just keep eating and eating!

To be honest, even asking her if she's "really hungry for more" is going to make her feel as if she's being greedy. I would suggest not doing anything at all that draws attention to how much or how little she eats. However, you could perhaps say that you are feeling full and stop eating before you've cleared your plate - that might encourage her to do the same but don't look at her when you say that.

I say this because I made this mistake in the past. We went through this too, following a maths lesson about weights and measurements etc where the children were all weighed in front of the class and their weights recorded on the board for all to see. The school, helpfully, felt this highlighted a problem and we were told by the school nurse that we had to put our child on a diet. It really hurts when other people make you feel that you've let your child down because they gain weight. In those days there was no accounting for genetic predisposition to weight problems, it was always put down to what the parents were doing (usually the mother). So you're damned if you don't do something about it and damned if you do. We were told by the school that our child would be monitored and were given dietary advice which we were expected to follow. It was obviously not a good image for the school to have overweight 'non-sporty' types there.

I hope that schools don't use this sort of method now or weigh and measure children in front of their peers. It's absolutely heartbreaking when you find your child has been ridiculed because of their weight (or even their height) and you get made to feel a failure because your child doesn't quite fit the norm.

I wish sites like this had been around in those days. Parenting is maybe not quite so isolating as it used to be and places like this at least give you chance to talk a bit more openly about these issues.

Sorry, bit of an emotional subject for me because I've never been allowed to forget it.