I am new here - some thoughts of the "diet mentality" :)

merzback

I am new here but not new to healthy living. I've been off of my wagon for way too long. In 2006, I got rid of 125 lbs and now I am up a bit more than I'd like to admit. I will say I am up 2 sizes and not happy about that but I can't change the past and to get depressed about it won't help matters. I have to move forward! Who wants to move forward with me?

ANYWAY .....
Words that I find aren't helpful to me are words that I call DIET MENTALITY words. Now I realize it's just semantics, but words can go a long way when it comes to a positive outlook or spinning yourself into a negative disaster.

Words and things you will never hear me say:...............

I am on a DIET (No, I just am eating healthy) Think about what mental images you get when you think of the word DIET! What do I think of? I think of starvation, deprivation and makes me feel resentful. When I think of healthy living, I think of happiness and good health and a long life!

I CHEATED today (Ok I had a piece of cake, or maybe 10, but it's time to jump back ON the wagon and move on from it) No one that I know has ever guilted themselves into good health!

I was BAD today because I ate

---

(Ok you ate junk, you're NOT bad, you just ate junk. What is BAD? Cheating on a spouse, lying, stealing, hating and so on. Fat, overweight , large people are not BAD. You are not BAD. You had a slip maybe. Saying you're bad will only make you feel worse and make you go into probably more of a binge because then you will feel that bad people do not deserve health.

I want to be SKINNY (I want to be healthy because cancer patients and people dying are often skinny, I want my health! ) Skinny does not equate to healthy- FIT equates to healthy. A friend of mine died 2 weeks ago, She had a weight problem before the cancer spread around her body and killed her in 3 months- she was "skinny" and VERY ill when she died at 51 years old

Ok off soapbox for now:)

To me, those are all diet mentality sayings and words, it's the ALL OR NOTHING mentality, or the" I am a piece of garbage because I am fat" way of thinking. Does anyone really think that will do a bit of good?

I honestly believe that while some things in your life get easier if you're healthier or thinner, it doesn't solve many of your problems. We are told by the diet industry that losing weight equates to happiness. You have all seen the commercials I am sure.
MY NAME IS BLABLABLA AND I LOST 1204949 LBS AND I USED TO HATE ME, MYSELF AND I AND EVERYONE USED TO HATE ME BUT NOW I AM A SIZE 2 AND EVEN MY KIDS LOVE ME MORE. I actually recall a commercial for a diet company that is now out of biz (LA weight loss) where a woman said that "even my daughter told me she loves me better because I am slim." Wha WHAT???? Is that the message we are giving out?


AKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Most of the weight loss industry is NOT selling HEALTH- they are selling what they think women (most of their clients are women) and some men perceive as solving all their problems or happiness. They are telling us daily that we cannot and will not be happy UNTIL we hit a certain weight, or until we hit a certain size. That's not true. Sure some things get easier but it won't bring you happiness until you find it from INSIDE. I remember my first diet experience when I was 14. I was 177lbs at 5'6 and kids at school told me I was fat though I wish I were that weight now lol but I digress.
My dad did what he felt was the right thing at the time (my mom died when I was 8) and took me to the primary doctor who then gave me little yellow pills (Speed, amphetamines) Yes at 14 years old....
I was told by my doctor , as was my dad, that I'd lose weight when I realized people would like me better thinner. So my dad and I signed me up for a diet camp. During that camp I had images that once I was "thin" and "skinny", I'd have more friends.

I got down to around 140lbs and looked great but it didn't change my soul or my happiness, nor did more people flock around me because of it because my inside outlook never changed. Any time I've lost weight, my life didn't magically get better in every way, nor do more people like me than before. My point here is that you have to be your own best friend and love yourself, and most heavy people are told that they are damaged goods which we are not. I think that's why people gain weight back, because their addiction to food issues are not solved, which to me is using food to self medicate due to an underlying emotional issue. Work on those issues because our mind tries to play games with us when it comes to weight loss:)
Try something different- go a whole week without JUDGING yourself. Talk to yourself like you would your BFF. Would you ever tell your BFF , or even someone you didn't even care for, that you were an ugly, fat piece of garbage? Naa I didn't think so, then why do we do that to ourselves? Don't be your own worst enemy



Happiness has to come from inside. Beating yourself up won't help. I realize this as the scale went up and up in the last 2 years. It hurt me more to degrade myself. I know it's not what will help. What is done is done. Find positive coping mechanisms and USE positive words to provide self support and then pay it forward to others. Use a measuring tape as it shows a lot more than a scale can show, and surround yourself with loving, supportive people who will help your journey, not hinder it

You are worth it! Your life is worth it. You deserve happiness!

If anyone wants to add me, feel free!

sam363

I couldn't agree more about what you call "diet mentality" words. I have never used the word "diet" for myself. I have two small girls that I am teaching how to eat as well as a sister in law that has recovered from anorexia. There is no way that I want my children to have self body issues and therefore these words are not for me.

It makes me sad to hear my oldest daughter (4 yrs) tell me she can't eat something because it will make her fat. I know...WHAT!?! Not that she has done this often but I can recall a couple of instances when she has. My husband and I are very sensitive to talk like this because of his sister. When I first joined weight watchers we just simply ate new things. And I have never made myself a different meal than them because I am on a "diet" - nope we all eat the same things. If I wouldn't feed something to myself why would I feed it to my family?

So, Thank you for posting about these words. They do make a difference in our lives.

merzback

You sound like such a great mom! A lot of parents don't realize it- but they perpetuate the dieting issues with young children - no 4 year old should worry about "getting fat" but it's the messages they hear at such a young age. A lot of times of course from adults. If they hear their mom or dad say "look how fat and disgusting I am." well guess what message is given to them.
If kids are told they have to eat healthy they won't, but if you just serve something and don't make a fuss, they won't notice. Just like if you say to kids "Let's go exercise today" they will probably protest. If you say "let's have a dance party" which is exercising, they'd LOVE it. I am not a parent, but I know as adults, we have to choose our words wisely.
Anorexia is a fatal problem and I also knew a girl in college who was bulemic because her mom told her after she gained the freshman 15 that she wasn't welcome home for Christmas unless she lost most of it. Sure that's an extreme but I know it happens more than we know!

nancymarie5

I love what you said about talking to yourself like youre your own best friend. Thats really a great idea. im gonna try to put that into action this week. or at least today im trying to quit smoking and today is my first day so it may be hard to self-love this week, thanks for your inspiring words!

merzback

Good for you! Getting rid of 2 addictions- food and nicotine, is not easy. Are you going cold turkey? Do you have nic gum or patches or any program to help with stopping smoking?
Good luck and you can do it! :glasses:

nancymarie5

im going cold turkey prayer and perseverance are the two things im hoping will get me thru! thanks for the encouragement!

kjmosquito

Thanks for your post. I certainly have been guilty of the " no thanks I am o n a diet" stuff. My social life revolves around a bunch of women that have had a lot of cosmetic surgery to maintain their size 6 frames, and it is constantly a conservation about weight. Then my husband starts in about " such and such went on HGC and lost 20 lbs". Whoop-d-do. None of those women work either so in order to keep that weight off, they also work out all day. Gesh!

Ok, so here I am, 52 years old, have gained 17 lbs in the past three years. I blame a lot of things, decreased activities, travel a lot, no sneaking cigerettes anymore, doing the no carb thing, then changing in the middle of the game to a low fat diet program, and oh yes, I love beer! Well one day I was going to the store and took my granddaughter and her friends with me and I told them I would take them to ice-cream after, in which my granddaughter commented, " I can't, it will make me fat!". Mind you she is nine years old and tall and thin. I thought good lord that is all she ever hears and she is repeating it. Very sad.

I don't care that I am not a size 6 anymore, I just want to be a healthy size 12,or 10, have my weight around 155 and I would be good. I know all the magazines say I should be 140-145....

I would love to have a diet buddy

cartern1

I refuse to use the D word because of all the connotations.

My neighbour just saw me come back from a bike ride ride and said, "oh, is this you on a keep fit kick?" I said, "nah, I just went out for a cycle"

merzback

I refuse to use the D word because of all the connotations.

My neighbour just saw me come back from a bike ride ride and said, "oh, is this you on a keep fit kick?" I said, "nah, I just went out for a cycle"

EXACTLY!!!! When a THIN person takes a bike ride- NO ONE asks them that question Great answer!

sam363

I refuse to use the D word because of all the connotations.

My neighbour just saw me come back from a bike ride ride and said, "oh, is this you on a keep fit kick?" I said, "nah, I just went out for a cycle"

lol! Who says that?! I think I would have just said "nope this is just me, what are you?"

sam363

You sound like such a great mom! A lot of parents don't realize it- but they perpetuate the dieting issues with young children - no 4 year old should worry about "getting fat" but it's the messages they hear at such a young age. A lot of times of course from adults. If they hear their mom or dad say "look how fat and disgusting I am." well guess what message is given to them.
If kids are told they have to eat healthy they won't, but if you just serve something and don't make a fuss, they won't notice. Just like if you say to kids "Let's go exercise today" they will probably protest. If you say "let's have a dance party" which is exercising, they'd LOVE it. I am not a parent, but I know as adults, we have to choose our words wisely.
Anorexia is a fatal problem and I also knew a girl in college who was bulemic because her mom told her after she gained the freshman 15 that she wasn't welcome home for Christmas unless she lost most of it. Sure that's an extreme but I know it happens more than we know!

Thanks! I try my best.

My girls do exercise with me. They like to do jumping jacks, race and play wii fit. In the summer we go for bike rides and swim a ton. We are a fan of try everything on your plate but if you are too full, you don't have to finish but if they do they can always have seconds. We are also a big fan of treats although I am trying to be better to not reward with food. I know that I am guilty of treating myself to a tasty high calorie treat when I've accomplished something. It's a hard cycle to break and I'm hoping to teach them other celebratory habits. Any one have suggestions? What do you reward yourself with?

merzback

I think that it's tough because we do tend to reward with food- but I reward myself with messages, getting manicures/pedicures, buying good books or music.
Kids will most always love junk food- but I also think it's good not to make a huge fuss- and just ask them how they feel- tell them maybe that it will make them feel tired.