My confessional: why i gained so much so quickly

Brady_

is anyone else as in love with Brueggers bagels as i am? Okay, i confess that after eating oatmeal for breakfast (about 200 cals) thinking itd start "today" eating healthy and gettin back on my game. Buuttt then.... I stopped at brueggers on my way to work and got a suasage, bacon, egg and cheese bagel, with southwest chipotle sauce, and a Large brueggacinno (smoothie coffee thing) like the worst thing you can get!

Soo then i did some thinking.. i think i figured out why i gain so much so quickly, EVERY day in my head i think "okay tomorrow is the day i seriously seriously get with it" so today, i will treat myself "one last time" and so i go all out and eat whatevers in sight, and a lot of it thinking itll be my last meal that consists of whatever i want. BUT, the next day i DO THE SAME THING, i dont do well, so im like okay "TOMORROW is the day, so today, (again) ill eat whatever) so turns out im going on these huge junk food bingers thinking in my head that tomorrow will be the day i start. umm HELLLOOo when you eat 2,500+ cals aday thinking tomorrow youll start, your bound to gain, and gain lots. fast.

So when EVERYDAY I eat soooo much fatty foods thinking that i just wanna treat myself one last time, THAT is why i gain soo much. I LITERALLY did that EVERY day this week, Mon-sun ive done it now, like im not exagerating, i binged EVERYday thinking tomorrow ill hop on the ol' diet bandwagon. Pizza..fast food..tons of pasta...greasy bagel breakfast sandwhiches..candy..you name it i ate it.

I guess i knew what i was doing all along, but i just never have been able to gain the will power to suck it up and buckle down. Mind you, im not "fat" but im over weight. itd say 15-20 pounds overweight. I weigh 149 and i wanna weigh 128. I am 5'7. Now, ALL my weight goes only to my belly, my thighs/arms aren't to bad to be honest, its ALLLL in my belly and love handles. So i dont need people saying "at my height im not over weight" but if you actually SAW me youd understand. But anyway, this week is my "spring break" (im in college) and im staying at my moms house for the week so i can spend time with my 8week old neice, thankfully she bought a tredmile during the winter and i HOPE i can get myself to sit on the tredmile for an hour an a half a day watching a movie, plus extra work outs like circuit training.

I am going to Arizona for a Global Retailling Conference April 6th-10th and meeting a lot of retail executies like the CEO of macys, martha stuart, tommy hilfer and so on, so looking your best is really important. Lots of networking to be done there, and if i dont feel i look my best, my confidence isn't the best socially presenting myself. So i hope to atleast lose 10 pounds from now till then, ill kick my own *kitten* to make it happen. Then May 17 I am going to Europe for 4 weeks, and i dont NOT want to have to buy new clothes cause im broke, and like NONe of my jeans/old clothes fit cause i gained so much so quickly. I am a BIG stress eater,emotional eater. I have A LOT going on in school and with work and social life that i shut down and eat when im home to NOT think about all the **** i have to do hah

anyway, thats my rant for the day, anyone else do this daily binger thinking youll "start tomorrow"? how did you over come it?

traceybett

OH Wow! That is EXACTLY what I have done for the past couple of years! Yeah..... for years I have been saying it....! Crazy!
definition of insanity=doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results!

So glad I am not alone in this crazy thinking. Thank God that 3 weeks ago i found this site and said "enough is enough"

kettlewitch

I identify so much with this. I have two states, dieting or going on a diet tomorrow so must eat for England today. I got my head round it by thinking of all of those days when I was going on a diet tomorrow and thinking how many had gone past. So you can look ahead to next Sunday and think I will start then ( and maybe be a lb heavier) OR you can start now and by next Sunday you will be a couple lighter. The time will tick by regardless.

Now that might make no sense at all to anyone but me, but I know what I mean :laugh:

callipygianchronicle

Introspection is an important part of this process, and it’s good that you are getting some insight. I suspect there is more to be uncovered, but that will come to you in time. We just have to remember that when we promise ourselves something and then fail to deliver it, we have told ourselves a lie. And there is a place deep down inside of us that remembers all those lies and starts to shout them back to us in the form of other destructive messages, “You suck. You are worthless. You are not enough.” So, one of the ways we fight that internal voice is to require ourselves to keep our commitments. We wouldn’t be friends with anyone who lied to us on a daily basis. So if we are to be friends with ourselves, we have to keep the commitments and promises we make to ourselves. That’s not will power, that’s living in truth.

sandram82

I was there and did that.. I just finally said enough is enough.. and started logging faithful with MFP.. when I saw the numbers in red.. it kicked my butt in gear!!
Please.. when your at your moms dont sit on the treadmill and watch movies.. stand up.. move on it.. lol

zenfocus

Oh jeez that's hard to know for sure. I think I am a huge emotional eater too. My weight has yoyoed ever since I was 13 from stress. The thing I have to remember here on out is it is so much harder to lose weight than to gain it. Gaining weight is easy -- you don't even have to think about it, which is precisely why you gain it in the first place. I have trouble with anxiety and I think I am an anxious eater.... that's part of my problem.

The worst part is when you think you'll start dieting the next day and the next and the next. Nope today is now for my diet lol. I only just really grasped this idea a week and a half ago even though I have been on a "diet" for two years (haha yeah right... if my diet consisted of eating too much from stress). Really the best way to overcome yourself is to get yourself a support group on MFP. And to stay positive! I was eating all the time because I was self-sabotaging myself, because I didn't think that I could actually set my mind up to losing weight. It sounds weird I know but when you're in that headspace you just think that way. So social support helps! I didn't start succeeding on MFP until I made a few friends on here lol.

I don't know why this idea of others motivating me is so motivating but it really is. I think the idea is that if I did wrong in my diet one day only I used to know it and no one else did. But now 29 other people will know it too! Lol.

Marjorielk

With me it was always,I'll start Monday. I didn't really binge but I certainly was not dieting.

Elzecat

I can really relate to this...especially because until I was in my early 30s I was thin, athletic and could eat anything I wanted without gaining weight....I did not ever control my food intake because I didn't need to...and I didn't really understand just how much I have been eating until I started keeping a food diary, and then started logging in my food and exercise on this site...

I guess the answer to "how do you do it?" is...you just do it. You choose to eat less or eat differently (or both?). You choose whether to go to the gym or go for a walk instead of pigging out in front of the tv (or computer lol). I am just trying to be thoughtful in the choices that I make, because I know that I want that end result (being healthy) more than I want the immediate gratification of that yummy junk food...

mem50

Same song....different person.

How I got over it the "I'll start tomorrow" Husband was in hospital and a nurse asked me when I was "due" HUH????
That plus the fact that I was out of breath just taking a small walk, my clothes did not fit and no extra money for new.

I sat down, made a grocery list went shopping and stuck to it. I still eat pretty much what I want, just smaller portions. I stay away from the shakes, fries, and pastries. I even drive the "longer" way to work just to bypass the bagel shop on the way. Now I pretty much have things under control. Started my "diet" at 300 pounds 8 years ago. Got down to 145 in 2 years. Maintained for 4. Put 55 back on because of medication changes. Got back at it 2 years ago. Almost there, again.

Sorry for going on. Just know that today has to be tomorrow. Make the list, do the exercise and if you slip up, don't give up!!!!!

Sending you encouragement and positive thoughts.

SparksFly460

I've been on that road before....and honesty sometimes I step back on it.

It's got a lot to do with a FEAR of feeling DEPRIVED. We say "okay one last day of whatever I WANT"...it's a way of filling in something that's missing. The goal is to identify what that need really is...what need are we substituting by compensating with food.

That's at least for me.

I'm glad you've buckled down and realize your last-day mentality. Good luck on your journey!

dengarrett

I kept thinking I would worry about my weight tomorrow - and then I suddenly realized that half of my tomorrows were gone. Do it now while you have more tomorrows available.

snookemz

Just remember, there's NO need to binge today because if you go on a diet tomorrow you don't need to deny yourself of your favorite foods! There's no good reason to kick a certain food out of your life - you'll feel deprived and then you'll binge. Now, you may find that those foods naturally push themselves out of your life or cut themselves in half as your healthier lifestyle continues.
Like your breakfast - turn your coffee into a small and split your bagel with someone. You get ALL the flavor and enjoyment of your favorite food without an ounce of guilt!
I know - I'm 377lbs, not exactly the perfect person to take advice from but I've been there, I've been 200lbs lighter than I am and I know all the wrong ways to do this and the right ways too.

monkeybuttsmommy

This is totally me and I have been fighting with myself for years. Im 274 pounds, my highest was 290. But I have bp issues so I really need to stop this cycle! Thanks for sharing! Its good to know I am not the only one!

arewethereyet

That is the most important thing I have learned on this new journey ( 2 yrs )

There is a Uturn thread floating around. When I am baaaaaad I read the thread and reboot right then. Not tomorrow, not Monday..........O God not MONDAY!! I had a lifetimes of Mondays that turned into weeks of overeating C R A P !!

I gained 15 back, have lost about 5 and working on the last 10+10 to hit my real goal weight of 125. I know I can do this!

:drinker:

nomex

Stop deciding that you will start "tomorrow". When you decide to start, decide to start RIGHT now! Then you won't have the urge to eat whatever you want before you start. Even if you had a hug breakfast, decide right now that you are going to start right now!

You are in a bit of a vicious cycle. You decide that tomorrow you are going to start, then you eat all you want today. When today is done, you feel guilty.... which then kicks in the emotional eating. The guilty emotions then reduce your chances of making good food choices tomorrow. I would also suggest that you drive a different way to work in the morning to avoid the bagel place... It has become a trigger, which are also hard to resist.

GOOD LUCK!!! Good choices beget good choices. The opposite is also true, bad choices beget more bad choices. Even if you decide to start right now and have two or three healthy meals, you will find that very quickly you make more and more good healthy choices!

Cella30

I could have written this...it's taken me 10 years of "tomorrow's" to finally learn a little about what I'm doing.

Perhaps you are setting up too unrealistic expectations? Instead of telling yourself tomorrow you are starting a strict diet, set one small goal to meet. Like replacing one soda with water or switching from 2% to 1% milk. Every week try to add another small goal. Look at it as taking baby steps to change your lifestyle, not as starting a crash diet to lose weight.

Another thing that works for me is to work out, no matter how much I've eaten. Doesn't have to be anything major, just a 1/2 hour walk. It does amazing things for my psyche...it lifts my spirits, helps me not to feel quite so bloated after a binge and after about a week or so, it makes me want to keep my food in check.

Good luck, you're not alone!

springgrl

Perhaps you are setting up too unrealistic expectations? Instead of telling yourself tomorrow you are starting a strict diet, set one small goal to meet. Like replacing one soda with water or switching from 2% to 1% milk. Every week try to add another small goal. Look at it as taking baby steps to change your lifestyle, not as starting a crash diet to lose weight.

This. It is also better to focus on what you should be doing vs what you can't have anymore. IE "I will eat some vegetables to meet my fiber goals" vs "I can never have cake again!"

alacarte

Introspection is an important part of this process, and it’s good that you are getting some insight. I suspect there is more to be uncovered, but that will come to you in time. We just have to remember that when we promise ourselves something and then fail to deliver it, we have told ourselves a lie. And there is a place deep down inside of us that remembers all those lies and starts to shout them back to us in the form of other destructive messages, “You suck. You are worthless. You are not enough.” So, one of the ways we fight that internal voice is to require ourselves to keep our commitments. We wouldn’t be friends with anyone who lied to us on a daily basis. So if we are to be friends with ourselves, we have to keep the commitments and promises we make to ourselves. That’s not will power, that’s living in truth.

So true!!

Shamrock40

I agree with setting small goals. Your conference in AZ is coming up soon, so make that your first goal. And like others said, make TODAY the day you start, not tomorrow. Try planning your meals. I try to put all my meals into the food tracker for the day, so I know ahead of time if I'll have some wiggle room at the end of the day. Try to leave a little room so that you can include an indulgence, and change what you think of as an indulgence. For me, it's sugar-free Jell-o pudding, or Skinny Cow chocolate truffle ice cream bars, instead of a candy bar. Or popcorn (minus the butter - I use Kernel Seasons butter flavored seasoning,) instead of chips. Bring nuts or another snack in your purse so you can fight hunger cravings and not need to run to get a bagelwich.

The thing is to start. Once you start, you'll see some progress, and that will motivate you to keep going. When you go shopping, make everything on your list a healthy replacement for what you have in your fridge now. Baby steps.

Most of all, believe in yourself. You can do it. You don't need to binge because you are going on a starvation diet where you have to eat carrot-sticks for the rest of your life. You're going to become healthy and indulge in high calorie treats in moderation, because that's what healthy people do.

Shamrock40

Introspection is an important part of this process, and it’s good that you are getting some insight. I suspect there is more to be uncovered, but that will come to you in time. We just have to remember that when we promise ourselves something and then fail to deliver it, we have told ourselves a lie. And there is a place deep down inside of us that remembers all those lies and starts to shout them back to us in the form of other destructive messages, “You suck. You are worthless. You are not enough.” So, one of the ways we fight that internal voice is to require ourselves to keep our commitments. We wouldn’t be friends with anyone who lied to us on a daily basis. So if we are to be friends with ourselves, we have to keep the commitments and promises we make to ourselves. That’s not will power, that’s living in truth.

So true!!

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