comfort eating after a death in the family

linscave

Hi There,
Just wondering if i am the only one who does this? My Brother was killed on thursday and i have spent the last few days staying with my family in their home town. I have been eating all sorts of rubbish over the last few day in a pretty mindless way.
I have just returned to my own home and I am really struggling to eat anything healthy.

I feel like i deserve to eat junk food because i am so shocked by what has happened and feel like i need nice (ie naughty) things to cheer me up and keep my mind off of what has been an extremely difficult weekend. But at the same time, i am appalled at myself for eating junk and don't want to get on the scales. I then feel shallow for thinking such things after what has happened.
Just hoping that one of my fellow MFP'ers understand
Thanks for listening
Lins

citizenpioneer

I'm really, really sorry to hear this, and no, you're not shallow for having these thoughts right now. Just let yourself do what feels good for right now because mental health is key at this moment. You'll get back in the game when you're good and ready, but don't beat yourself up because what you want to do (and what feels good) isn't exactly what you "should" do in terms of health. Just let yourself break some rules because if you don't do it now, you'll want to do it later.

Enigmatica

A shock like that can knock anyone out of balance for awhile. That you're grappling with the issue of how you've used food in response indicates that you're trying to get your balance back. What would you tell your best friend, if you saw her going through this? Try treating yourself like your best friend.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

krg918

We all deal with grief in our own way. There is no normal or abnormal when it comes to loss of a loved one. I am a huge emotional eater and would do and feel the same about the way i eat in difficult times. Take care of your family and yourself and worry about weight later.

But, something that might help deal with the stress of the situation, walk. It gets you away for the moment and helps relieve stress. Plus, you wil probably have anger issues and turn it into a decent work out.

Many prayers for you and your family.

katiemeridien

*hug*
I lost my dad five years ago. I was in denial for a few years, trying to keep myself hopelessly distracted so I wouldn't give myself time to grieve. Then two years ago, it hit me like a ton of bricks and my weight skyrocketed from 130 lbs to 175..at one point I saw 185 lbs. I emotionally ate to hide the pain.

There's no right way to recover but some things help. It's an addiction to food. FA exists like AA to help connect others who use food to kill the pain. I went to a meeting and learned lots about emotional eating and how to cope. It's worth a visit, trust me. http://www.foodaddicts.org/meetings.php

In the end, you'll find that the food will never fill that void. You're not the only one.

juliapurpletoes

Thoughts of love coming your way, so sorry for your loss.

Be gentle on yourself and try to breathe and get centered, you'll get back to it when you are ready.

Fitnurse27

My heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. My brother died 13 days after my 16th birthday. He was 18 years old at the time. That was 11 years ago and I still hurt and miss him. I totally ate my grief. I gained probably 30 pounds. I couldn't stop. However, my advice to you isn't to worry about that at the moment. What you are going through is terrible. I think you need to do whatever you can to just cope at a time like this. Spend time with your family or friends, find someone you feel comfortable talking to about everything your going through, cry, try to sleep, do what you need to right now. I will be praying for you. The only thing that eventually helped me was running. My brother died in December and I started running in April. It gave me something else to focus on and took me away from the food for a while each day. Maybe there is an activity that you do that helps you zone out for a while. Whatever that may be you deserve to give yourself that time.

sonjavon

I am so sorry for your loss. You are not shallow for thinking about how you're dealing with it and what it's doing to your goals.

Here's the thing about the "comfort eating" that we do... it doesn't really comfort us. It tastes good. But, it doesn't help our bodies deal with stress and anxiety... and grief. Foods high in antioxidants will help rid your body of the effects of the stress. It's important to take care of yourself while you're going through this time.

You said that you feel like you deserve to eat junk food... no, you deserve MUCH BETTER than junk food. You deserve good and wholesome food.

If you were my sister or my best friend I would hug you tight, wipe your tears and tell you to live a life that would make your brother proud. To make decisions that make you healthy and happy. Would your brother want to look down and see that you backtracked in your goals because you miss him and are grieving his loss? Or would he want to look down and see you honoring his memory by living the best life you can?

When you work out - do an extra lap for him... he's with you, he's proud of you and he wants what's best for you. Take things at your own pace - but move forward.

You are in my prayers.

UmbraForzare

For me, sonjavon said it best (and very eloquently as well).

I can't offer advice on your situation as I used to deal with things like that in much the same way, but I wanted to say that you're in my thoughts at the moment.

:flowerforyou:

linscave

Thanks Guys,
these boards really are full of such warm hearted people, it is nice to not feel alone with thoughts that I don't feel able to share with those closest to me!
Thanks again!
Lins