So discouraged

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LoveDLady
LoveDLady Posts: 64 Member
in Motivation and Support
I ran into an old friend at the gym today, he's a personal trainer now. Asked how I was doing, catch up chit-chat type stuff. Then he asked me what my weight loss goal was and I told him a want to be 160! I was proud when I told him, but I think he shattered my dream. He told me that 160 was way too much for me, that I should be at like 140. I don't like telling people this, but right now I weigh 184. And if you look at me I don't LOOK all that big, or at least I didn't think so. I was 199 when I started trying to lose weight. I've lost 15 pounds and have been doing great still losing. BUT 140. I'm 5'11"... ok 5'10 and a half I think. But really do I still need to lose 44 pounds? I honestly don't think I can do that. And I'm a fairly positive, upbeat person. So I would like a second opinion. Sadly, I'm technologically challeged so I don't know how to put up a picture on this post but I put on on my profile yesterday. That picture is me at 184. So my question do you think I need to lose 44 more pounds?
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Replies

  • NewyorkG
    NewyorkG Posts: 2
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    Don't let someone tell you how much you should weigh. If your happy with that number then that's all that matters! :)
  • ajswriter
    ajswriter Posts: 117 Member
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    No way do you need to lose 44 pounds! That's crazy! He was probably hoping you'd feel so bad about yourself that you'd spend $ on his services. :P
  • funkyspunky871
    funkyspunky871 Posts: 1,675 Member
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    160 sounds perfectly fine. :) I'm 5'7' and my goal is 130 pounds. I'm too lazy to check the BMI calculator right now, but I'm willing to bet that 140 would be unhealthy. For me... 130 pounds is about in the middle of a healthy BMI range, and 160 is the max.
  • NotSoShabby
    NotSoShabby Posts: 31
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    I'm 5ft 4 and 140lbs is my goal weight .......

    I
  • ShellyMacchi
    ShellyMacchi Posts: 975 Member
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    hmm my first reaction is, i don't think much of him as a trainer.. so much for recognizing when you need encouragement. Seems he did not even look for more information from you (like your present weight and height etc) to put what you said was your goal into perspective in his own mind before pronouncing that goal too high. sorry...
  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,386 Member
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    Don't let someone tell you how much you should weigh. If your happy with that number then that's all that matters! :)

    agreed! do what you like and how you feel and want to look. a lot of trainers - IMO - don't have a clue. not sure about this person.
    i don't think you would have to lose 44 lbs and if you are 5"11, - 140 seems LOW.
  • crjugrl
    crjugrl Posts: 172
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    Do what makes YOU comfortable. When you reach your goal of 160 and decide you want to go for more, then do it. Until then, don't let anyone tell you how much weight you should lose. Stay positive and take it one step at a time :smile:
  • bjshields
    bjshields Posts: 677 Member
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    Okay, LOOKIT. You are the ONLY person (aside from God) who knows your body completely, inside & out. You know how you FEEL, how you feel about yourself, how strong you are, etc. If 160 feels great to you, then forget what the personal trainer thinks. You are also TALL, woman! I used to subscribe to "Oxygen" magazine (which I love) -- every month, they had "success" pictures posted of women who are in phenomenal shape. And I cannot tell you how many times they ran pics of women who were about the same weight and how completely DIFFERENT they looked compared to each other -- because of height, distribution of weight, and how much muscle they carry. We are all different and carry our weight differently. My advice is, keep doing what has been working for you until it no longer works, then shake it up; and YOU decide what your goal is.

    That's my opinion, big mouth and all! Good luck to you, and congrats on your progress so far!:wink:
  • Renise01
    Renise01 Posts: 39 Member
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    Hello darlin! My best advice is this - Get healthy :-) Get to a size (not a #) you are comfortable with! The scale can only tell you so much! When you feel fantastic and truly happy with the size you're at the # won't be as important. I don't know if you've ever watched biggest loser but there was one girl a few seasons ago who topped out at 160! And she looked athletic and fit and solid and beautiful but she wanted to be 140 - her body wasn't built to be 140 and healthy! Its just the way things are sometimes! Congratulations on you're success this far!
  • nakami
    nakami Posts: 34 Member
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    Don`t be discouraged. For my height "perfect weight" should be 110-149!!! But I have never been so skinny, 165lbs is MY PERFECT weight!!! (I am 5'7) I remember feeling great and sexy when I was 165 and want go back to at least 170 :) If you think you will feel great at 160 lbs so be it :)
  • splashwags
    splashwags Posts: 262 Member
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    Don't get bummed nor discouraged. I agree that you should not let others dictate your weight. It should be about how you feel. and I think how your clothes feel. One day at a time. And who knows when you reach your goal you may or may not want to keep going. Keep your eyes on the prize. You are doing great so far!!!!
  • spicegeek
    spicegeek Posts: 325 Member
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    Get your body fat measured and make sure it is in a healthy range - then use what you weight at that point as a yard stick to know what your healthy weight is - A personal trainer should know that the scale is just a indication of progress

    I know how you feel - I had 160 as my goal - once I got there - well - yeah I needed to be 140 in all truth - and that was what my trainer had been encouraging me to aim for ... I`m resetting and refocusing on the 140`s now ! - I am shorter than you - but not much - and I`m pretty muscular

    Keep the suggestion in mind - focus on 160 and see how you feel
  • rschmmidt
    rschmmidt Posts: 296
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    Don't let someone like that get you down. You go right ahead and set your goal at 160 and go for it! Once you get to 160 - and you will - then you can decide what feels best for your body. Maybe you'll want to lose more.
    Forget him!
  • anniebnannie
    anniebnannie Posts: 85 Member
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    geez that seems too thin.... I am 5'6" (almost) and my ideal weight is 135 0 140!! No, I think he has it wrong and you are on your right path. Don't let folks pull you off your game! You are obviously doing it right for you!! Keep it up girl ♥⋱¸¸.•´¯`✫
  • cbirdso
    cbirdso Posts: 465 Member
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    You have hit on the major PROBLEM with people using BMI as a set in stone indicator of what someone should weigh. BMI charts may be fairly accurate for about 50%-60% of the population, but it doesn't take into consideration individual differences that are very real. I have noticed that women with larger hip bones always seem to weight more, but we always look like we weigh less. This is just one example. How you feel in conjunction with your mirror / the camera are your best indicators of how much you should weigh.
  • juliapurpletoes
    juliapurpletoes Posts: 951 Member
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    I agree with the height AND weight idea....unless you havea teeny - tiny bone structure, I can't see 140 being healthy. Do some more research on bone structure and then figure out what you could/should be

    Maybe because you are young?

    Anyway - I say make YOURSELF happy and do what you think is healthy and fit for you!

    :flowerforyou:
  • twooliver
    twooliver Posts: 450 Member
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    Leave it to a man to tell a woman what she should weigh....

    Trust your body to tell you when enough is enough!
  • bethany7687
    bethany7687 Posts: 44
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    Dana, you know what 160 lbs looks and feels like. Do you like how you look and feel at 160? What size are you?5'10" 160 lbs I'm guessing thats about a size 10. Get there and see what you think. You decide your goal weight, not your trainer. Bethany
  • shapestocome
    shapestocome Posts: 476 Member
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    I agree with everyone that only you know what your perfect weight is for you. But just for curiosity I put your numbers in the BMI scale. For your height to be in the "healthy/normal" weight you should weigh somewhere between 132 to 179. So 160 is a great healthy weight for your height. I think he was just trying to make a buck! :smile:
  • darwintheboxer
    darwintheboxer Posts: 51
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    You appear to carry your weight pretty well at 184 lbs. 140 at 5' 11" is considered a healthy BMI, but on the low side. 19.5 out of a range of 18.5-24.9. While 160 lbs, would put you at 22.3 and 155 lbs would put you right smack in the middle of the normal range. I would get to 160 lbs and then see how you feel, determine your body fat % and reevaluate from there.

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