I just want to Vent

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mksgirl83
mksgirl83 Posts: 41
in Motivation and Support
I am so annoyed at pretty much everyone around me (besides my husband-he is excellent support when it comes to my weight loss) but my mom and everyone else keeps telling me stop losing weight you look perfect, well I am not happy at my current weight, I am 5'5 and currently 154lbs, my current goal weight is 125lbs... I have not told this to anyone but my husband b/c I dont want them all flipping out... why cant people just be happy for me? I have never been skinny, I have always been the cute chubby friend or daughter (mind you my mother and her friend are currently trying to lose weight with phedamine - however you spell it!! supposedly only my moms friend is taking it but there is no way she could lose 10 pounds in a one/two week period with all the crap shes been eating) I figured if I get down to 125, and feel/look to thin I can alway gain weight back (preferably muscle) have any of you had people like this around during your weight loss journey?!
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Replies

  • KaleighL
    KaleighL Posts: 159
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    YES!!! At school my friends alwasy say that I'm skinny and don't need to lose weight and it bothers me so much!! Its my body! Because I'm "skinny" I cant eat healthy?? And I'm not skinny.
  • chris0912
    chris0912 Posts: 242 Member
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    My in-laws!!!!! They always act really supportive to my face. But they have pulled my husband aside and brought up my weight to him. And yet every time we go to their house for a weekend, it's a constant barrage of "Do you want something to eat?" or "What can I make you?" or "Have some more!" This weekend, they came to our house to "help" paint and brought over a whole batch of sugar cookies plus a whole batch of brownies! Really?
  • purple1butterfly
    purple1butterfly Posts: 576 Member
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    I have not experience this but only my husband knows what i want to get down to. So far i have not done very well, i think from my start weight i have only lost 2kg (4.4lb aprox) i have been yoyo yoyoing up & down. I have not made any difference in my body shape.
    Everyone on here will be supportive.
  • ObviousIndigo
    ObviousIndigo Posts: 382 Member
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    Oh Yes!!! I have!! I had a friend that went on HGC and lost 61lbs.... she's 5'5 suddenly decided she is done with the diet so she phoned me to tell me she is now 174lbs and she is happy with that and since we are 30 she thinks it is wrong that we are trying to be hot. Like come on, we are married moms. Why should we not be comfortable and content at where we are and I should stop losing weight like she did.

    I told her I am not trying to be "hot" I am trying to be healthy and hot is just a side effect of being healthy!
  • pftjill
    pftjill Posts: 488
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    Usually when people say this they are most likely jealous that you are on your way toward a healthier you and that you are going to be healthy and leave them behind. It is hard for some people to see this change being made. I have some friends through my husband that the wife would always tell my husband she hates me, all because I was dropping weight. She didn't really, but she didn't want to take the time or effort to do it for herself. Don't listen to them. You do your thing. There is nothing wrong with losing weight and getting healthier. Well, if you have a doc that tells you to stop you should probably look at where you are-happened to me before. I am 5'10 and was around 165 at the time. Keep going and just don't talk to them about it. Tell us here-everyone her will be supportive. If you were my height I would be concerned, but you are fine with your goal-keep up the good work!!
  • HungryTuna
    HungryTuna Posts: 141
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    Hi there,

    I can totally relate to this. Because I'm 5'9", people assume I don't need to lose weight and that I look great as I am now. While that is very kind of them to say, I know better. I weigh 177 pounds today and want to get to 145. While 145 may seem impossible right now, I'd be happy even seeing 155 on the scale. I've had a hard time throwing numbers at people because they don't see things from my perspective.

    At least your husband is supportive- that's the best motivator you can have around! If he's happy about you making healthier decisions that make you happy, that's fantastic! Not everyone gets that level of support at home.

    As for your mom and her friend taking those weight loss drugs, I don't think they're approaching things in a healthy manner (obviously). Proper diet and adequate amounts of exercise should be all what the human body needs.

    Best of luck to you. Forget outsider's opinions and focus on yourself. I guarantee once you start seeing changes, they may comment on how good you're looking! Do it for YOU!

    xoxo
    Nikki
  • mksgirl83
    mksgirl83 Posts: 41
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    I <3 your name lol, my 2 year old has the same name but hers we spell it kayleigh :)
    YES!!! At school my friends alwasy say that I'm skinny and don't need to lose weight and it bothers me so much!! Its my body! Because I'm "skinny" I cant eat healthy?? And I'm not skinny.
  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
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    Most of them! lol. I have a great hubby but other than him? My Mom (who is fat too) is always trying to feed me and asking why I don't just give up at my age. My sister, who is thin, acts like I should give up trying because I'm always gonna be fat, and my "friend" who is trying to "Help" me by telling me all about good stuff to eat on a diet. She has NO clue! She's overweight and never diets. She also has 3 serious illnesses and just doesn't eat. She lost 40 pounds last year by eating a half cup of cereal with a splash of milk in the morning and a fat free cup of yogurt at night. I can't do that. I need some food at regular intervals--like meals????? lol.

    Its so hard to make other people understand your changes. My sis was about your size and height. She went down to 125 and looks great! Go for it! As long as hubby is on board with you and you don't have to starve yourself to get there---I say do it. Ignore the naysayers--they are jealous. You can do it and better without drugs.
  • flutterqueen04
    flutterqueen04 Posts: 278
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    My biggest is people putting me down because I am over weight....but then making fun of me for eating better and working out and losing weight! :huh: Whatever though. I am happier and I am doing this for *me*!! And just remember you are doing it for you. Let them lose weight their unhealthy (and might I personally add ridiculous) way. In the end when you've made the *lifestyle* change and are not just reasonably and fabulously thin and toned but also HEALTHY, you'll have the last laugh :laugh:
  • pftjill
    pftjill Posts: 488
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    Oh Yes!!! I have!! I had a friend that went on HGC and lost 61lbs.... she's 5'5 suddenly decided she is done with the diet so she phoned me to tell me she is now 174lbs and she is happy with that and since we are 30 she thinks it is wrong that we are trying to be hot. Like come on, we are married moms. Why should we not be comfortable and content at where we are and I should stop losing weight like she did.

    I told her I am not trying to be "hot" I am trying to be healthy and hot is just a side effect of being healthy!



    #1 HCG-the worst diet ever #2 LOVE -I am trying to be healthy and hot is just a side effect of being healthy-AWESOME!!!
  • emrogers
    emrogers Posts: 328 Member
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    I'm sorry. I know the feeling. I've told a few friends and even my husband that I want to be 118-120 which was 60lbs from where I started and 44lb now. Then the dreaded question? OMG!!! from where?! I'm like first of all I'm 5'2" and I want to get back to where I was before I had a kid. I don't or can eve remember the last time I was that small but if I'm comfortable and in a size 4 at 130 then i'll stop there but if I'm not I'll hit my goal of 118. I know its the most frustrating part, but think about it this way. They only know you as one size. Which is what you're at now and they probably can't see you any other way. Oh and did I mention the 2 friends that tell me that are around my height and one is 120 and the other is 125!!!! I'm like really!!!!! I might be an inch taller. Give me a freaking break. So yes I understand your frutration with this!!! Keep going til' you're happy and comfortable and I've just learned to not say or tell them anything anymore. :)
  • jeepwidow01
    jeepwidow01 Posts: 173
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    I had the same thing before when I lost weight after my first daughter was born. I had several people tell me that I shouldn't lose any more weight and I still had approx 10 lbs. to lose. I'm 5'9 and wanted to get down to 160 (larger build). Anyway, sometimes I think people get a certain "look" in their head especially when you have been that way for awhile. It throws them off, so anything largely different from that pictures is too skinny. Also, some others will be jealous of your weightloss because either they 1) are overweight and want to lose the weight or 2) wish they could do it on their own with their own willpower instead of assistance from other things.

    You have to be comfortable with you, as long as it is healthy. :happy: Don't worry about what anyone else says, unless your dr. says something about it! :wink:
  • flutterqueen04
    flutterqueen04 Posts: 278
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    I told her I am not trying to be "hot" I am trying to be healthy and hot is just a side effect of being healthy!

    Exactly!
  • HungryTuna
    HungryTuna Posts: 141
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    My in-laws!!!!! They always act really supportive to my face. But they have pulled my husband aside and brought up my weight to him. And yet every time we go to their house for a weekend, it's a constant barrage of "Do you want something to eat?" or "What can I make you?" or "Have some more!" This weekend, they came to our house to "help" paint and brought over a whole batch of sugar cookies plus a whole batch of brownies! Really?

    YIKES! I'm sorry! That's gotta be tough!
  • niseyteachin
    niseyteachin Posts: 2
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    I love the last line... "I am trying to be healthy and "HOT" is just a side effect of being healthy! " :laugh: Totally going to use this from now on! LOL
  • amandabrady
    amandabrady Posts: 203 Member
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    I am already at a healthy weight and never came to this site to lose much at all. I came to change my eating habits and to become a much stronger, healthy individual. I work out to challenge my body and I eat right because it's good for me. I constantly have friends and my mother telling me to stop exercising, eat more...."why are you going to the gym, you're already so skinny!" "You need to eat more, you're wasting away"...I've heard it all. I'm in a healthy range and I'm in great shape. I love it! Why would I stop taking care of myself...Did they ever stop and think that maybe I got this way BECAUSE I do all that stuff? Maybe. To be honest, you giving in, eating garbage for food, and not working out makes them feel better about them not doing any of that stuff either. If you stay bigger, they look better. Every person that has made a negative comment towards me has been someone that does not lead a healthy lifestyle. It's twisted, but it is what it is. I don't think your goal is unreasonable at all for your height, and let's get real...if you can see that finish line, and know that it's your time to be the best you can be, why would you stop and say forget about it? People are always gonna try and poison you with negativity. Just shake it off and focus on the support from people like your husband!
  • lwyz_smln
    lwyz_smln Posts: 46
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    Yes, but the people around around me (aside from my supportive hubby as well) don't outright come out and say it. Instead, when we go to their houses (and it's family so we can't just not go) they take us out to fattening places and serve fattening meals, and ALWAYS have dessert and will not simply allow me to skip dessert either. It's hard when you don't have complete support! I hope that it gets easier for you!!!
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
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    125 is well within the healthy range for your age/height. I use military weight charts just to get an idea and for you, it's 110-147. You know when you feel best. Don't worry about what "they" say.

    I haven't told a SOUL in my real life how much weight I want to lose or what my goal is. I just don't need to hear any kind of reactions, good or bad, to the numbers. When I hit my goal, I'll tell them. In the meantime, it's my little secret. :)

    P.S.: Hello from the east valley. :)

    ---

    SOURCE:
    Army Weight Chart for Females
    http://usmilitary.about.com/od/army/l/blweightfemale.htm
  • bjshooter
    bjshooter Posts: 1,174 Member
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    I am in the EXACT same boat. Its a bit scary, I am 5ft 5 and weigh 153/154lb atm and I want to weigh 125lb. Everyone goes crazy when I say this, so I have simply stopped telling people lol
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
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    At 5'7.5+ and my goal is 128 they would have a heart attack..LOL
    I think when people are used to seeing at a certain weight it is jarring or can be uncomfy to see you smaller
    I think if you were naturally 5'5 and 125 there would be no issue
    they also may be genuinly concerned y may possible take your weight lose too far??

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