Is it not wanting to insult or something else?

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  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
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    Mine wasnt very noticeable at 17lbs but i had 99lbs to lose...you, with only 30lbs to lose, it should be very noticeable...green eyed monster coming out maybe?

    My sister still hasnt said anything to me at 46lbs down...oh well!
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
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    Ok, I have lost 19 pounds since January. And I am very excited about it and will continue to work really hard. But my friends and family have not said ONE word. Except to critque my food choices. It may seem vain and superficial, but I would like someone to say, Gee, did you lose some weight?
    SO I wonder if they just do not want to insult me?
    Or are they just being stinkers and are refusing to acknowledge it?
    Is this common ya think?
    Or is it that I have not lost enough possible and they have not noticed? I dunno. I just would like a little high five from my friends and family. :smile:

    I would be inclined to think that if they see you everyday or fairly regularly, the change may not be so noticeable. I doubt that it has anything to do with jealousy. You would be surprised at just how unobservant most people are unless they are specifically looking for something. Then again, you could be somewhat right about them not wanting to offend you. Its like asking a woman if she is pregnant. What if she isnt, then we have embarrassed yourself and more importantly, we have mortified the woman who you just called "fat". We are a society that is so worried about saying the wrong thing that we have almost been programed not to say anything <positive or negative> for fear of hurting someones feelings.

    That being said, ...you look fantastic!!!!! Have you lost weight?? :-)
  • heathersmilez
    heathersmilez Posts: 2,579 Member
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    They are a combination of the following; #1 stinkers and #2 vain - just like yourself. Why see success in others especially if it makes you feel bad about yourself. Your family especially parents should notice unless your mom has a bit**y personality but friends may not say anything b/c they don't want to, it's all about them.
  • NeuroticVirgo
    NeuroticVirgo Posts: 3,671 Member
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    You know, no one noticed (or at least didn't say anything) i had lost any weight (and I'm almost at 30lbs) until I got some new clothes, and colored my hair. Then 2 people asked m in the same day. lol Maybe when people see you all the time its not really noticeable, but when you change more than one thing it makes them actually look at you or something. haha
  • jmcniel
    jmcniel Posts: 65
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    I think family are the worst at giving compliments. I feel my wife gets more compliments from people at MFP and her friends than she does from her family, me not included.

    Her mom always critiques her on the food that she eats, saying that doesn't sound healthy, yet her mom forgets that Ashley is making vegan alternatives to the high fat/high calorie food that it is derived from. It pisses me off that she has worked extremely hard at getting where she is at and her mom can't say one dam thing other than, "Well you know those last 20 lbs are the hardest"


    These comments of course are coming from a person that eats a can of cinnamon rolls and then makes dinner 30 minutes later, who then in turns makes another desert and wonders why she can't lose weight...oh I forgot she has bad knees and a bad back. ~rolls eyes~
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
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    Maybe they're jealous?

    I've lost 75 lbs since moving out of state, and not once in two years has my best friend said one word about it when she sees me. It burns me up, but I think maybe she's jealous?

    OK, your best friend is not being a BF is she hasnt said anything to you about the weight loss. 75 lbs is a LOT to lose and thats very noticeable on anybody.
  • plm0902
    plm0902 Posts: 6 Member
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    I didn't read the other replys yet so I'm sorry if this repeats. Recently my boyfriend and I saw an old friend who has lost close to 50 pounds. The change is wonderful and my boyfriend was so happy for her, but he didn't say anything. I asked him later why he didn't let her know how great she looks. His response was that he doesn't want to offend her by implying that she was overweight before.
    It might be the same with your loved ones. My family has a constant struggle with weight and some of my relatives are sensitive about the subject so we don't always bring up the topic. My mom has found that if she lets us know when she reaches a goal we can jump up and celebrate with her.
  • tessb84
    tessb84 Posts: 98 Member
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    Congrats on your 19 pound loss, I am sure you look great. Also want to say congrats to all for becoming a healthier bunch.
  • cbirdso
    cbirdso Posts: 465 Member
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    Speaking from experience, I have discovered that most people don't really notice until you have lost more than 40 pounds. Only two people in my circle of friends noticed when I lost about 15 pounds. I learned later that other people didn't comment because they REALLY did not notice. After I lost 40 pounds, other friends would say to me, "Hey, have you lost a few pounds?" and when I would say, "Yes, that would be 40!" they were flabbergasted that they hadn't noticed. Some people still have not really connected the dots. This just goes to show how people are different in the way they gather information and process it through their own lens. I would NOT assume a negative, jealous, or indifferent aspect to their NOT noticing. What WOULD be negative is if they said, "I notice you lost some weight, you better watch out or you will get too thin." or words to that effect.

    Also, I agree with other posters who don't say anything because they don't want to say, gosh you look great (meaning you looked crappy before). I think people closest to us are in this group. My brother to date has still not made one comment about my weight, but I KNOW he is the kind that notices. We are very close and I know he loves the person I am, NOT the weight I am, so he would never make a comment for that reason.
  • SivirSarah
    SivirSarah Posts: 74
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    Well you know what? *high fives* you are doing an awesome job. That is a lot of weight to lose in the time frame that you have had. Keep it up. They will eventually notice. Besides you should feel proud of yourself whether they have or have not noticed. Good job and don't let it get you down.
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
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    I didn't read the other replys yet so I'm sorry if this repeats. Recently my boyfriend and I saw an old friend who has lost close to 50 pounds. The change is wonderful and my boyfriend was so happy for her, but he didn't say anything. I asked him later why he didn't let her know how great she looks. His response was that he doesn't want to offend her by implying that she was overweight before.
    It might be the same with your loved ones. My family has a constant struggle with weight and some of my relatives are sensitive about the subject so we don't always bring up the topic. My mom has found that if she lets us know when she reaches a goal we can jump up and celebrate with her.

    Actually very good point. My kids didnt say anything so i asked them outright and they all said where they could see it most. I asked them why they didnt say anything and they said it was because they didnt want to as it was saying i was fat before.

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