Emotional eater seeking help

faerie_dust

Hi there,

I've been trying to religiously track everything I eat for a little over a week now...

Overall, I need to lose about 18kg which I think is roughly 40lbs for those who work in lbs.
I won't lie, I'm really struggling. My default setting when I've had a lonely, boring, long, stressful day is to stuff my face. And I'm not very good at curbing that. Consequently, my calories, which I have been honest about are WAY above my daily guide and I'm feeling demotivated, lonely on my journey and just desperate.

I have made a choice not to discuss this process with friends etc - my partner knows and my mum but I have done this so many times before and I fear telling lots of people about it only leads to everyone, including myself, being disappointed when I fail. When I started this process this time, i really wanted to do it for me and basically to make it about me taking care of myself. So far, not so good.

I suppose my desperation is that I'm looking for friends here, people to chat to about the hard bits, advice and experience and what you do when you've had a bad food day or have been avoiding exercise... what other people do when bad days find you attacking the fridge/cupboard...

Any advice, support, guidance welcome!

Thank you much!

tmthorn0927

Take it one day at a time! Do not dwell on yesterday - you cannot change that. Try to start each day feeling positive and prepared for the journey. Good luck to you.

crazymama2two

Take it one day at a time! Do not dwell on yesterday - you cannot change that. Try to start each day feeling positive and prepared for the journey. Good luck to you.

i agree...and ill add in just try, try, try to remember that this isnt going to happen in a couple of months. i have about 50 to lose and i stuff my face when im (insert emotion here). so i feel your frustration. im TRYING to remind myself that it wont happen in a matter of two months and im TRYING to remind myself that that is okay. i will fail, i will get up, i will have a good week, ill have a bad week, ill get up again, etc. etc. friend me if you would like. hang in there!

midonhau

I am an emotional eater too and honestly some days it just gets the better of me. I can pig out on ice cream, cookies, potato chips and pizza if I'm not mindful.

Since I've started losing weight on mfp and I'm liking what I see in the mirror that has helped me somewhat. I've started asking myself "is it worth it?" before I eat something and often times it isn't. It takes discipline and sometimes you are the victor and sometimes u r not. Don't wallow in self pity, just get up and try again.

It also helps to figure out what emotions trigger your eating splurge. I find for me it can be having a really stressful day at work or it could simply be from boredom. What ever it is for u, realise that food can ONLY fill hunger in your stomach and not a void in your life. Keep your self busy, read more, go for walks, call a friend but don't just sit there and stuff your face.

All the best on your journey ;o)

boobee32

Girl, I have been there for soooo long. I just finally made up my mind....this is going to be the day. I was really really getting depressed, and hating myself and my life, and doing nothing but sleeping...so I HAD to make a change. I have always been an emotional eater as well....all my life.....or just a plain out eater...i LOVE to eat..I wont lie....and I struggle every day to not fall back into my old ways. You just have to make a choice.....inside for you, that you want a change, and personally, I pray for help and guidance on this every day. Start with one day at a time....and build on that. Start your exercise routine with one workout at a time.....I bought a treadmill in October of 2010, and it sat in my living room collecting dust until Feb. 14th of this year. And guess what, in between, I had gained 13 lbs.....So.....NOW....I use it every day..whether I want to or not.....it has become a routine, and if I dont...well then I feel bad, and feel like I am missing something.
YOU CAN do this!! This is a great place for motivation and support. WE will all help you in any way we can!!!!
Feel free to add me to your friends list if you want!

xoArielleMarieox

Hello! I too am an emotional eater. I can agree with everything youve said in here, I too when I go on a diet decided not to tell anyone because when I did I got the "ya okay okay"
I have to keep this short and sweet because im about to leave. My biggest hard time is night time. During the day I have control and do great. 8-10pm haunt me. Sometimes I will fall alseep on the couch, and my way from my couch to me bed ( a whole 15 steps) I will manage to stuff my face with 200-300-400 calories?!. Horrible. Im a very "oral" person. I find that when I feel like I need to munch I need something in my mouth gum,mints,a hard candy to suck on for awhile helps. Ill eat acouple, it takes a minute to eat them and usually by the time im done eating a few my urge is gone. You have to want it. When your ready your ready.
Good luck!

luisabaeta

My advice, which has started to work for me, is to first of all go to the supermarket in a moment when you are NOT hungry, so you can make rational decisions about how to fill your fridge and pantry. Buy a lot of healthy, low-cal ready-made snacks. I find that emotional eating, at least from myself, is not necessarily linked to what I eat (it doesn't necessarily need to be sweet or fatty food), but to nibbling and eatings lots of little things. This happens especially when I am tired and frustrated or lazy after a long day, and don't feel like cooking dinner, but would rather unwind watching tv or something while eating chocolate, or cookies, or chips, etc. But if I go to my kitchen and instead of finding chocolate I find blueberries, or edamame or anything like that, it's easier to not eat stupid things.

Get something you actually enjoy eating to substitute your snack craving.

It seems to be working for me, hope this helps you too!

TabiHerbalifeCoach

I use to be an emotional eater. It was really hard to stop but I made it through. Here is what helped me:

1) For a while I stopped brining my *weakness* into the house the snacks i brough in were only healthy, no chips no popsicles nothing like that- i know they say when dieting not to deprive yourself, but i had to break the chain, I slowly started brining healthier snacks back into the house after the first 3 months or so.

2) when I felt like that I realized even though the motivation, the want wasn't there and in the moment I resented myself for making me do anything at all other than eat I would make a logical decision to get up and train myself to do something else. Wither that was take a walk, play with the kids, call a friend ( not necessairly about what i was feeling) just something anything else then sitting there thinking about food or eating

3) If that didn't work, then I would eat celery, I had lots of celery chopped up in zip lock baggies, and would eat that plain, no dressing, just the celery at first i wasn't that fond of it but grew to like it, finally 2 years later i am completely free of being an emotional eater and no longer need the celery as a crutch

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: hope it helps.... best wishes on your journey

QueenofCups

Hello dear! I just sent you a friend request b/c I am also an emotional eater and I SO feel your pain.
I read all these success stories on here and I get so discouraged sometimes b/c my story is a roller coaster at best.

I fall off the wagon so many times, its ridiculous. I eat when I am sad, mad, happy, bored, scared, nervous....you get the idea. I have been on this journey for 2 years now and have lost a little over 70lbs, but its taken diligence and hard work. I won't lie. And its taken a few days (or weeks) of complete depression too. I still don't think I look good, I still think I am fat. But its getting better.

Stick with us, talk out how you are feeling, and you will get through this. I can't even tell you how many times I have tried to lose weight over the course of my adult life. 10? 20? I have lost count. I have done 1 week of exercise, WW, diet pills. Nothing stuck except for good ol' calorie counting and steady activity progressing into a workout routine. For me, I had to take it step by step and not jump right in b/c I didn't want to burn myself out like so many times before.

You will beat this!

NutriEMP

Hello, I was asking myself the same thing this morning. It is difficult and I haven't had much success either, especially as I have been trying for years to loose weight.

But the other people are right. Starting each day afresh is a good place to start.

I think we have to address our emotions, not the food (that will follow automatically). Why do you feel sad (assuming its sadness/stress that is making you eat)? What can you do to make your situation better? For example, my old job really stressed me out so I changed jobs and have managed to loose about a stone in the last year, just because I'm that bit happier and not heading to the vending machine just to get away from my desk for 5 minutes.

My problem is that I also associate food with happiness so I like to eat when good things happen as well. But I'm trying to remind myself that I'm not the dustbin and I should be more choosy about what I put in my mouth. I want to savour food more and I can't do that when I'm stuffing it in at 100 miles an hour.

Little trick is to have a glass of water before you eat something. It may just fill you up, help you to feel a bit virtuous and give you that crucial time to think first before you eat. Those 20 seconds could help you to improve your habits. I'm going to give it a go!

cyberwitch

Being an emotional eater is so hard It's also very common, you know? I don't think we share all the problems we have with food, especially women. Two books helped me <i>a lot</i> in regards to compulsive eating and how to deal with it - "Fat is a Feminist Issue" and "On Eating", both by Susie Orbach, take a look on them. Old habits can be broken if you persist and take the time to analize yourself. Don't dwell on failure, keep trying, and good luck.

Boooie

Im an emotional eater, when things got bad or i was feeling down picking at bad foods was my comfort, i always felt like food was in control as i seemed to have no control over what i ate and couldn't seem to stop. I then got to the stage of braving the scales and i stepped on them and it went to 286 lbs then i realized i had to take that control back.So i told everyone i was going to be changing from that day on and lost 126lb in a year.Yes it was hard work but because i told people i was doing this i didnt want anyone to see me fail so it motivated me to keep going.I then hurt my back and could hardly walk for a year and that old pal comfort eating come back but lucky for me i realized before i put the whole lot back on and then got back on to losing this weight and taking that control back. I think of everything before i put something bad in my mouth now and think do i want this really or do i have the calories to allow this. You CAN do this and if you need some support please feel free to add me and ill help where i can. I think having support and people around you knowing what your doing helps so much on this journey

Mandy xx

TabiHerbalifeCoach

Hello dear! I just sent you a friend request b/c I am also an emotional eater and I SO feel your pain.
I read all these success stories on here and I get so discouraged sometimes b/c my story is a roller coaster at best.

I fall off the wagon so many times, its ridiculous. I eat when I am sad, mad, happy, bored, scared, nervous....you get the idea. I have been on this journey for 2 years now and have lost a little over 70lbs, but its taken diligence and hard work. I won't lie. And its taken a few days (or weeks) of complete depression too. I still don't think I look good, I still think I am fat. But its getting better.

Stick with us, talk out how you are feeling, and you will get through this. I can't even tell you how many times I have tried to lose weight over the course of my adult life. 10? 20? I have lost count. I have done 1 week of exercise, WW, diet pills. Nothing stuck except for good ol' calorie counting and steady activity progressing into a workout routine. For me, I had to take it step by step and not jump right in b/c I didn't want to burn myself out like so many times before.

You will beat this!

Just know most of these success stories were preceded by several roller coaster rides ! I know mine was don't be discouraged. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

rosebarnalice

I'm there with you!

Almost 50 years old, and my first impulse is STILL to use food as an emotional crutch--particularly when I am stressed, angry, a little blue or depressed, or lonely. But I'm getting better--by really paying attention to it.

I have really worked on finding healthy ways to deal with my emotions. Among the things that have helped are:
1) naming and facing my feelings out loud--
I have learned that taking a moment to close the door of my bedroom or office and saying out what I am feeling ["I am really stressing about that deadline!" "I feel really cranky and blue today"] helps get it out of my head and into the air where I can deal with it rather than running to the pantry to stuff it down.

2) short deep breathing meditation--
taking 2 minutes to sit quietly with my eyes closed breathing deeply in and out while rhythmically touching each finger in sequence with my thumb (inhale--pointer, middle, ring, pinkie; exhale--pointer middle ring pinkie pointer middle ring pinkie)

3) rehearsing and replaying conversations--
this is a technique I learned from some self-help book many years ago (can't remember which one), but basically when I identify a specific situation that stresses me out (for me, encounters with my mother and a specific co-worker are major triggers!) I plan or "rehearse" conversations with them in my head in which I am calm and in control of my emotions prior to an encounter so I "practice" being in control and not stressing out. Or after a bad encounter, I "replay" it changing the "script" for a better outcome on my part.

4) exercise--
yep. As hard as it is to make myself do sometimes, "gettin' my sweat on" has helped me deal with emotional eating tremendously! Even something as brief as walking once around the block, running up and down the stairs once or twice, or a few jumping jacks standing in front of the refrigerator door can give me a reality check and clear my head enough to see past my anger or my fussiness and give me the perspective to just walk away.

I know it's not easy, but I'm pulling for you!

rosebarnalice

Oh, and I forgot one of my favorite tips that I picked up hereon MFP

Inside my pantry I have a big sign at eye level that says:

"WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ISN'T IN HERE"

dartany

I personally am motivated by what I have already lost and don't want to gain it back so that is what I think about. Sometimes I recite a bible verse or find something else that makes me happy. Because I to am a emotional eater and I love food it always makes me happy. I suggest you go talk with someone like a counselor or health professional. It sounds like you might be slightly depressed and that is truly a medical condition that will damage your weight loss attempts. Keep your head up and don't beat yourself up. Keep working at it and things will get better. Don't be so hard on yourself. Also I make sure that even though I am dieting I eat food that taste good. Believe me there is no shortage of healthy recipes that aid in weight loss that are actually delicious. I love eatingwell.com. They have great recipes that list all the nutriention values you need to record your caloric intake. Good luck....much love.....YOU CAN DO IT....

superwmn

I'm a recovering emotional eater/binge eater/food addict/food abuser. You are not alone and you CAN over come this issue.

One day at a time.

Geneen Roth's Books 'Women Food and God' and 'Breaking Free from Emotional Eating' have been LIFE CHANGING for me. Through the teachings of these books I have lost nearly 100lbs and been given the tools I need to win the battle against food (most of the time, anyway). You can do this and you are WORTH this.

Charmagne

JaneP2011

bookmarking - will comment later :flowerforyou:

standarddancinggirl

I used to do that a lot as well. I found that instead of just saying I wouldn't do it I had to find something to replace it with. I only keep healthy things at work and When I get home I go to the gym somedays but i mostly go dancing (ballroom/country) It is a stress reliever for me and I just needed to find something I enjoyed and you just need to do the same.

faerie_dust

I am so overwhelmed by all your support and ideas and ways you all have jumped the hurdles and are jumping them...

I want to write back properly when I have more time but know that I am so grateful!!!

pugfan101

Hi,
I'm there with you, I've been up and down this road so many times. For me stress makes it harder to might the eating.
I've been trying to find foods that are appealing and more healthy to help me when I can't fight that feeling.
Hang in there, take a walk when you are feeling emotional, it will help you clear your head and amazingly at least for me... I feel less hungry afterwords.