recap of yesterday's coffee date

vegasmellie

well, he was cute but not quite what I expected. ya know how you meet someone and you get the friend vibe? I just didn't feel a spark, and I purposely talked to him for 2 hrs hoping I would feel something. :indifferent:

what's weird is the comment I got from my cousin. "maybe sometimes it takes more than 1 date to spark?" now, I'm not sure if this is true or not. anyone experience that? I just don't like leading people on. I can see being friends with him, but I can't see kissing him and how can you have a 2nd or 3rd date without a goodnight kiss? I've tried that before and it was soooo awkward.

what I am proud of is that I actually went through with it and put myself out there. here's to more coffee dates! :drinker:

vegasmellie

well, he was cute but not quite what I expected. ya know how you meet someone and you get the friend vibe? I just didn't feel a spark, and I purposely talked to him for 2 hrs hoping I would feel something. :indifferent:

what's weird is the comment I got from my cousin. "maybe sometimes it takes more than 1 date to spark?" now, I'm not sure if this is true or not. anyone experience that? I just don't like leading people on. I can see being friends with him, but I can't see kissing him and how can you have a 2nd or 3rd date without a goodnight kiss? I've tried that before and it was soooo awkward.

what I am proud of is that I actually went through with it and put myself out there. here's to more coffee dates! :drinker:

kimber607

Well, I think you gave it enough of a chance...don't push it....(not that u would) but u don't want to convince yourself other wise....

On the other hand...I met my DH when I was 16....I was with a group of friends waiting to see a movie and my gf and his friend starting talking
We missed the movie and hung out for 2 hrs...Dh and I did NOT speak and I was pretty tiffed we had to miss the movie because my friend wanted to talk to his friend
Long story short....my friend was going on her first official date with this new guy and BEGGED me to tag along and double with his friend...had no idea we already met the first night
The rest is history...
BUT the initial meeting it wasn't a one on on date...I was pretty shy back then and don't think I even made an effort to meet or talk to him....plus we were much younger (immature)

Go with your gut...don't force it...someone out there that is going to rock your boat
KIM

michaelhe

Mellie,

Sometimes it does take a while to spark. For example, my wife and I were friends for about a year before we decided to date. The difference in our situation, however, was that we just met at school and had no initial expectation that we would date.

But don't give up hope. I think the most important thing is to keep your eyes open and don't ever take yourself "off the market" (that sounds so bad, but I think you will know what I mean). I do agree that it is very important not to date anybody if you have no future intentions. I've seen friends miss opportunities to get to know other people because they were in relationships that they admitted were not long term.

The whole dating scene is so different today than what people did just a short 100 years ago. I mean ... back then we didn't have all these restaurants, movie theaters or even cars. Maybe it's time to reinvent the whole process!

Mike

ChubbyBunny

Hey...

I'll be honest, I didn't feel that spark with my fiance....I was too worried about million other things about the date to worry about sparkage. I knew i liked him though and in a more then friendly way....but nothing major ignited....

If it's nothin is there for you...nothin's there...however...I have known a few friends who great relationships grew out of simple friendships.

No one is sayin you have to marry him tomorrow. Be friends...that's not a crime and who knows....maybe he has a friend....

klikittyklak

I met my bf like that too! We were friends at school for 2.5 years until we felt the spark. But of course, don't force it!

GrnEyz

Sometimes sparks happen instantly and sometimes they really do take a while. My last B/F we sparked the moment we met. But the guy I was with for 2 years when I was 18...it took a while. In fact I really couldn't stand him the first time I met him...then we some how became friends...and then we had the sparks and ended up being the love of my life. So you never know!

GIGINATOR

I have been married for almost six years now, together for 91/2yrs. I was friends with my husband for two years before anything happened. When we first met, I immediately thought "not my type", but he's a nice friend. When we finally had a "date" people said it was about time!!!!!! Funny how things worked out. :laugh: We have two boys now and are in a happy and great relationship! :happy:


Not trying to push ya, just saying you never know!

sgtinvincible

Think of it like this....

I have dated a lot of women who I sparked with first thing...we tended to burn super bright, but burn out quickly.

It wasn't until I started looking for someone who could be my bestfriend as well as my lover that I found who I sincerely *want* to be with. Romance is all well and beautiful, but eventually, the new relationship thing wears off...I want someone who is my friend and partner' left standing there when it's all said and done.

Be his friend, be buddies, hang out, learn each other. If it's meant to be more, nature will take it's course. Like others have said, don't force it. :bigsmile:

My 2 cents for what it's worth. (about a cent depending on the value of the lyra)

-J

pmkelly409

i have to say Ditto to what everyone else is saying above - the initial spark is the one that burns out for me too - my DH and I were friends first and then as we became really good friends was when it happened for us!

Now when times are tough, it is not stressful because we are such good friends that we make fun of each others shortcomings and laughter is the best medicine.

Good luck.

PrincessLaundry

I told my hubby your story and asked him what he thought. He said, "Is coffee supposed to generate a spark?" :huh:

Then he got slightly more helpful and said, "Wouldn't going some place where a spark can be generated make more sense?" :noway:

We have been together since high school, and have always been great friends. Slowly this friendship became a crush, and then friendship, then crush, then friends, then crush. It seems to continue this way still. We are ALWAYS friends. We have been together for over 18 1/2 years, and married for over 15. Maybe just enjoy this guy as a friend...he might have a brother. :bigsmile:

I am sooooo bad.



.

kerrilucko

It took my fiance and I a few dates to REALLY spark too. Give him another chance, especially if he's a nice guy. I mean, the worst thing tht can happen is you'll make a great friend!:flowerforyou:

vegasmellie

thanks you guys for all your advice! I sent him a text that it was great meeting him and if he wants we could get together and hang out when he comes back from a business trip next week. he said he had a great time to and yes, so we'll see.

PrincessLaundry

Did you forget to ask him if he has a brother or friend to bring with him???:noway: OH NO I DI-N'T! :laugh: