BDD Support :)

get_it_gone2012

I don't know about you, but I am a massive sufferer of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Even though I know I have lost inches (up 2 holes on my belt, buttoning flannels that I used to have to wear open, leggings falling down) and the scale shows a 20lb. loss, I DON'T SEE IT! And I can't see it. Not in pictures, not in the mirror, nothing. I still feel like I am massively bigger than what other people perceive me. My best friend told me the other day that I look much smaller than I did three months ago - she even ventured to say I'm getting tiny!
Yet again, I don't see it. Any of it. At all.
So this is what I propose - I know I'm not the only person out there discouraged by the warped way we see our bodies. So how about a support group for all the people becoming unmotivated by the lack of change we perceive? Let's band together and teach our brains how to love our bodies!

spammyanna

I love this idea! I feel huge, all the time, even though I know I am not that overweight. I hate the way I look, and even though people tell me I look great (I lost a considerable amount of weight after I had my first child) I don't believe them. I look in the mirror and all I see is my fat, round belly. Thanks for bringing this up, I thought I was the only one!

Ashley_Panda

I've lost 123lbs and still feel I look like I weigh 335.

KWSR16

HERE HERE! lol

Fortunately my very loving boyfriend/fiance keeps telling me how skinny I am looking. Also fortunately those pants I bought several months ago without trying on because I just "knew they would fit" actually do now. But when I look in the mirror before my shower (which everyone knows they do so dont deny it lol) it all looks EXACTLY THE SAME to me. :explode: I don't know how to change my mind into thinking "YAY I LOOK SKINNY"-er.... :sad:

Sasha_Bear

I think this is a great idea, I've lost almost 20 pounds and 4 inches off my waist, and I'm having a hard time seeing it myself. I've dropped two pants sizes so I know the lost is there. I guess I just expected to see some sort of dramatic difference.

get_it_gone2012

Here is a challenge. I have heard many times that the more you tell yourself something, the more you believe it. I challenge us all to post motivational quotes, song lyrics, or even just a simple "You look great today and have accomplished so much!" note on the mirrors we look into the most. Every time we look in the mirror and think "I'm huge" or "there's no difference at all" read this note and say - "F*** you brain, I've accomplished a LOT and I look great!" and really try to believe it.
The more we tell ourselves that we HAVE accomplished a lot and that we ARE amazing, the more we may be able to finally see it for ourselves.

RunnerInTraining

This is such a great idea!!!!! I love it!

jdedzant

I'm right here with you guys. I'm down almost 30 lbs, and I know there is a little bit of a difference, but I haven't seen one since 15 lbs lost. The people around me are all saying I look really skinny (some have gone as far as saying I look emaciated...great friends huh? :frown: ) but I still want to lose more!

drblythe

I've been thinking about this a lot recently, I've been told by a couple of friends that i look like i've lost weight, but I just don't see it. I've only lost 11lbs and have about 17lbs to go. I've been fishing for some king of response from my boyfriend asking questions like "do i look any different?" or "can you tell i've been working out?" and generally he'll just say "yeah" unenthusiastically without looking at me. which makes me feel a little like, whats the point?

I don't think he means to hurt my feelings he just really doesn't care what I look like, he would (and has) love me at any size. But it just makes me feel like i'm doing this alone, and if i cant seen the difference then again, whats the point.

I like your positive comment idea hopefully I can get my brain to shut up and start seeing what other people see

get_it_gone2012

How are we all feeling today?

I looked in the mirror and felt GIANT this morning - like I had gained 20 lbs. instead of lost.
So I told myself to stop being silly, and that I had lost 20 lbs - I reminded myself that last night my friend told me I looked like I had lost way more than 20 lbs.
It didn't work, I just couldn't shake the image I saw in the mirror.
Why is it that when we KNOW we've accomplished so much, we still feel like we haven't done a thing?
I'm terrified that I'm going to reach my healthy goal weight, still see the 213 lb. girl that I was, and not be able to stop...

get_it_gone2012

I've been thinking about this a lot recently, I've been told by a couple of friends that i look like i've lost weight, but I just don't see it. I've only lost 11lbs and have about 17lbs to go. I've been fishing for some king of response from my boyfriend asking questions like "do i look any different?" or "can you tell i've been working out?" and generally he'll just say "yeah" unenthusiastically without looking at me. which makes me feel a little like, whats the point?

I don't think he means to hurt my feelings he just really doesn't care what I look like, he would (and has) love me at any size. But it just makes me feel like i'm doing this alone, and if i cant seen the difference then again, whats the point.

I like your positive comment idea hopefully I can get my brain to shut up and start seeing what other people see

You're not in this alone! We are here with you!

TammyK777

I'm so with you!! I've actually had to tell some friends that I need them to keep telling me I look like I've lost weight! not out of pride or looking for the attention, but because I DO NOT SEE IT!

TammyK777

I'm so with you!! I've actually had to tell some friends that I need them to keep telling me I look like I've lost weight! not out of pride or looking for the attention, but because I DO NOT SEE IT!

I don't think my comment came out like I'd hoped... I've asked those friends to tell me that when I do, not to just say it. hope that makes sense.

get_it_gone2012

Haha yes I understand

jdedzant

Why is it that when we KNOW we've accomplished so much, we still feel like we haven't done a thing?
I'm terrified that I'm going to reach my healthy goal weight, still see the 213 lb. girl that I was, and not be able to stop...

that is pretty much exactly what has been happening to me. I started with one goal and it just keeps getting lower. And lower. And lower. But I still see weight to lose. I keep telling myself that I'll be smart enough to stop before I reach the underweight BMI, but I'm honestly not sure that that will happen.

TammyK777

Why is it that when we KNOW we've accomplished so much, we still feel like we haven't done a thing?
I'm terrified that I'm going to reach my healthy goal weight, still see the 213 lb. girl that I was, and not be able to stop...

that is pretty much exactly what has been happening to me. I started with one goal and it just keeps getting lower. And lower. And lower. But I still see weight to lose. I keep telling myself that I'll be smart enough to stop before I reach the underweight BMI, but I'm honestly not sure that that will happen.

I've secretly thought this too! comforting to know I'm not alone.

drblythe

Thanks for the support guys

Hows everyone going today?

Glad to feel like i'm not the only one out there 'blinded by weight'.

After feeling a bit down the other day i went to work, and one of the parents (of a student i teach) asked me if I had slimmed down Made me feel really good especially as i don't know her at all so she didn't know i'd been trying to lose weight. stuff like that really helps.

although over the weekend i feel like i'm slowly ballooning in to an elephant!

I think I'm going to try and compliment other people more, in the hopes that I can make them feel good about themselves, like that parent did for me. It doesn't help me directly but i think if it catches on and everyone starts complimenting each other more maybe karma will bring some back round my way?

jdedzant

This is a small and probably pointless thing to write, but it isn't something I can talk to anyone about so I'm posting it on here.

I think I have BDD going in both directions. I'm always feeling like I'm not thin enough and still eat like I am trying to lose weight; at the same time, I am PARANOID of someone mentioning my weight loss because I am afraid they will think that I am too thin. So last night when I was going to hangout with my best friend/on-off kinda boyfriend, the only thing I could think about was how long it would take him to comment on me being too small (he hasn't seen me without a sweatshirt on in five weeks which would cover any weight loss and he frequently would comment on how I looked "pale and frail"). Surprisingly, not one comment all night or all morning For the first time in a while, I was able to relax and not worry about my body being too big or too small. I could just enjoy spending time with him.

get_it_gone2012

I am the same way jdedzant. I hate it when people are like "why are you losing weight? you don't need to!" only, in my case, I think they're just saying it to be nice...

Ugh I'm having an awful day. Boys are stupid (no offence to the males out there).
There's this guy, after I lost about 20#, who started to hit on me, and... well... I was so flattered (this is the first time that this has ever happened to me) that the rest is kind of history. But now I'm stuck in this emotionless fling, and I'm super upset.
I hate that I hate my body so much that any little attention I get throws me totally over the edge.

The worst part? He's stopping showing interest. Deep down, I know it's because he's a jerk and he got what he wanted. But what am I thinking? I'm completely paranoid that I've gained some of the poundage back (even though the scale and my tape measures disagree) and now I'm not as appealing.

And I'm looking in the mirror and feeling huge again.

Why do I let this happen!?!?!?!

get_it_gone2012

Thanks for the support guys

Hows everyone going today?

Glad to feel like i'm not the only one out there 'blinded by weight'.

After feeling a bit down the other day i went to work, and one of the parents (of a student i teach) asked me if I had slimmed down Made me feel really good especially as i don't know her at all so she didn't know i'd been trying to lose weight. stuff like that really helps.

although over the weekend i feel like i'm slowly ballooning in to an elephant!

I think I'm going to try and compliment other people more, in the hopes that I can make them feel good about themselves, like that parent did for me. It doesn't help me directly but i think if it catches on and everyone starts complimenting each other more maybe karma will bring some back round my way?

That's awesome! I love getting compliments off the cusp like that

jdedzant

Ugh I'm having an awful day. Boys are stupid (no offence to the males out there).
There's this guy, after I lost about 20#, who started to hit on me, and... well... I was so flattered (this is the first time that this has ever happened to me) that the rest is kind of history. But now I'm stuck in this emotionless fling, and I'm super upset.
I hate that I hate my body so much that any little attention I get throws me totally over the edge.

The worst part? He's stopping showing interest. Deep down, I know it's because he's a jerk and he got what he wanted. But what am I thinking? I'm completely paranoid that I've gained some of the poundage back (even though the scale and my tape measures disagree) and now I'm not as appealing.

And I'm looking in the mirror and feeling huge again.

Why do I let this happen!?!?!?!

@ boy who is making you feel bad about yourself: *kitten*!

but I know exactly what you mean. Every single time my guy breaks things off with me, I feel ****ty about myself because I feel like he doesn't care about me enough even though he says he is only ending things because he can't treat me the way I deserve to during baseball season (total BS!!). I feel like my best friend thinks of me like a used kleenex he can toss aside when he's done but pick back up next time he has a runny nose. So then my brain goes into hypercritical mode about why I am not worth seeing in his limited spare time? It sucks, especially when I really want to see him and feel like I can't without losing more self-respect. Like tonight, I really want to see him because it's been an emotionally crappy/low self esteem day as well, but I don't feel like I can text him. So the point of my convoluted rant is BOYS SUCK. We just have to hope that eventually they become men.

Tracy9377

I don't know how many songs are written about the lengths that extraordinary men go to for the women they love. What about the extraordinary lengths that women go to every day for the men who refuse to love anyone more than they love themselves? That would be a great music video. I can empathise with where you are. I spent 2 years with a "man-child" right out of high school, and then spent 4 years married to another one. Then, I went through some deep soul searching (paired with a wonderful therapist, and a little help from anti-depressants). I'd like to say that my life is "happily ever after", but let's face it- that only happens when you're animated by Walt Disney. In real life, the struggle continues, but so do we. That's where I am now. I eventually found a wonderful, supportive man (who acts like a man instead of a boy). We have out struggles. We win some and lose some, but at least we're on the same team. I feel genuinely loved and supported, even when he makes stupid comments - he's great, but he's still a guy - not a god. I wish I could give some wise sage advice to fix the problem, but all I can say is, "hang in there", and remember what you're worth. If you don't - then others probably won't either. Even between relationships, you're never really single. Don't take me for a Bible-thumper, but God really is there, and He hurts when you hurt - and He hurts when you hurt yourself. God delivered my husband to me - and me to him. I hope He does the same for you.

Tracy9377

I love the last thought in your post - that you will spread the wealth. My husband laughs when I go and tell people that they look nice. He says it's awkward and silly. He said I sound like an old lady - I told him old ladies are awesome, and I plan to become one some day. I told him he doesn't understand - and he doesn't, and that's ok.