Issues with my stepmother

CassieLEO

Im really getting frusterated with my step-mother. She is also dieting, and all she is doing is "Watching what she eats" She eats tons of salads with fat free dressing, and tiny portions of foods, and doesnt look at labels. She walks sometimes and is being healthier. I dont feel like she is doing it very healthy because of her huge weight loss and the fact that she doesnt eat anything of much substance and has lost a ton of weight concerns me.
All of this is fine, and seems to be working for her as she is losing TONS of weight. I think WAY too fast.
I was talking to my dad about my diet. How I feel like I am constantly eating because I am doing the mediteranean diet which is loaded with tons of veggies and fruits, nuts and proteins, so I have to eat a TON to get my calories for the day. (never mind eating back calories lost due to exercise!)
I talk to a nutritionist, I log onto MFP all the time, I track my calories, I eat all pretty much healthy food (except for today when I had a corned beef dinner)
I exercise daily for at least 30-45 mins (Jogging, Running, walking, whatever I feel up to). I am going at this with all my heart.
She picks apart what im doing and makes me feel like I am doing everything wrong. Tells me not to eat if im not hungry and is pretty much being totally unsupportive of my working towards a better me.
She has been in my life basically all my life so its not a grudge against a step mother because she basically IS my mother. I just find it so frusterating.
I asked her and my dad to take a walk with me today and all she did is pick apart my goals in how I do things. I try to ask her about her diet and she jumps down my throat. I want to do this healthy, and she obviously is getting a eatign disorder or something....
I need support and motivation, and I need it from my family too. She isnt making this easy at ALL for me!!!!!

waverly9876

I AM SO SORRY!!!!!!!!! My mom used to be anorexic (before I was born) and has dealt with eating problems her whole life. She runs every day and barely eats. She thinks that if she eats fruit and one piece of cheese she is fine. However, she is ALSO losing weight. However, when I talked to my step dad- he said that bc she isnt eating any substance , all her skin is saggy and doesnt look good. I cant talk to my mom about this cuz she gets really defensive and thinks she is eating. Just know that your step-mom may be losing alot of weight, she isnt doing it the right way.. Her skin is prob saggy and she has no muscle. Dont let her bring you down. Sometimes you have to just smile and say "ok," when all you want to do is yell at her. She will see how great you look and how healthy you are and will be jealous!

spicegeek

there is more than one way to skin a cat - agree to disagree and stay off the subject

If you are losing and feel good - great - if she is going the same - also great

gertrude13

why don't you let your nutritionist talk to your step mom, after all it's a large health risk for her that she is doing the weight loss in a very hazardous way.

Enigmatica

Well, there are two things I see here...

One is that if you don't want her sticking her nose in your health/fitness choices, you'd be better off not commenting on hers. (Commenting here is one thing but if you're trying to talk to HER about what she's doing, you're inviting trouble!)

Second is, why bother answering her questions about your goals and choices at all? If she can't stop her rude controlling baloney you can jolly well stop giving her what she wants, which appears to be information that she can use to make herself feel smarter, more powerful, and more in control than YOU. My mother was similar and it caused me a lot of problems until I realized that it was up to ME to stop giving her the ammo to shoot me in the face with.

You don't need to get into a big fight with her, but you could just start saying, "Why do you want to know?" every time she asks. That really frustrates THEM. Another good response is, "Based on recent experience, we aren't going to discuss this for the time being." That tends to piss them off. Learn to enjoy it because as the cowboys say, "If they're gonna let that aggravate 'em, they deserve the aggravation." You have every RIGHT to set boundaries as to how much you tell her - not to mention on how much you allow HER to tell YOU.

It really is frustrating when the people you'd expect to be supportive just aren't. But the sooner you learn how to protect your own interests the sooner you will be free of the unpleasant little head game she's playing on you. Maybe she'll learn to treat you with more respect and maybe she won't. Don't wait for it. Treat yourself with respect and go get what you need from life.

Been there done that.

feliciapeters

smile pretty, agree with her
then do whatever u want

EricMurano

Whenever she rides your nuts about it just start singing "I did it MYYYYY WAYYYY!"

In all seriousness she's doing what I think most of us do when we discover the secret to losing weight: evangelise!

It pains me to admit that whenever I learn something new that benefits my life I will annoy anyone that makes the mistake of being near me for longer than 30 seconds about how they can do what I do; even if they don't want to.

I only realise what I'm doing after about a month of being an annoy twit.

Anyway I know it's harder than I'm making it out to be but I think you just need to engage in mature, informed discussions with her whenever she questions your methods. Be polite, as all intellectual discussions should be, but stand behind the science of your methods. Your central reasoning is slow, safe weight loss. That should be the centre of all of your arguments.

feliciapeters

what I think most of us do when we discover the secret to losing weight: evangelise!

It pains me to admit that whenever I learn something new that benefits my life I will annoy anyone that makes the mistake of being near me for longer than 30 seconds about how they can do what I do; even if they don't want to.

I only realise what I'm doing after about a month of being an annoy twit.

OMG! thats me, I tell everyone, even if they dotn want to listen LOL. You have NO IDEA how much I want to tell people at the gym about this site.

Bockety

Different people need different things to lose weight. It's kind of silly that she doesn't see this.

You mentioned she hardly eats, and when she does it's nothing substantial. Maybe she's just grouchy because she's hungry. I know I turn into a complete witch when I'm hungry.

If you need something to say to her, try something along the lines of, "Look, I respect that your diet works for you. You're doing great! It doesn't work for me but what I'm doing does. I'm happy for your weight loss, can you back off and be happy for mine?"