Having to defend your health

BobbyDaniel

Does anyone else have to defend their health to others?
I've lost 53 pounds over a year...hardly a quick weight loss. My body has changed considerably, I actually have a jawline for the first time ever. I feel great, a lot healthier as a 40 year old than i was as a 30 year old. And for the first time in my life I'm a runner, training for a 10K.
Yet I find myself having to defend how much weight I have lost, that I can still lose more and tone up my belly. I'm also having defend my eating habits with people wondering if I'm eating only salads.
I know people care...but honestly, this is starting to drive me a bit NUTS!
Anyone have any ideas on how to deal with this?

littlelol

yes me tooo!!!! xx

littlelol

i just say im eating healthy and enjoying it xx

zerbit

BobbyDaniel,

You need to remember that you did all this work and lost the weight for YOU, not for anyone else. The fact that you discovered your jawline and mentioned it in your post just proves how truly far you've come. That's what I find myself coming back to; there will always be someone richer, thinner, prettier and more well-adjusted than me, but *I'm* what I have to work with and I just do what I can with what I have. Celebrate ALL victories, large or small and just keep rockin' on.

Opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one and they all think you want to know what theirs is. Ask any woman who's ever been pregnant can certainly tell you the same thing.

The people asking all the questions; what shape are *they* in? I find I get some really fervent dieting and exercise tips from people that could easily make up two or more of me. My philosophy is that the slower you lose it, the harder it is to gain it back, you just keep on training for that 10K and show them all what you're capable of.

Just say "thanks, I am really comfortable with what I'm doing right now and I've had EXCELLENT results, so if it ain't broke, I'm not going to try to fix it".

jamie1888

I always tell people that I am not on a diet; that I enjoy eating healthy foods!

ChefJenn

YES I do
I had gastric bypass in Jan 2005 and I hear all the time " OH YOU TOOK THE EASY WAY OUT"
let me say its harder to do than just to eat correct and exercise. It altered my insides for LIFE. There is no mess ups or u end up the hospital , there are no cheats , there is nothing easy about what I did. The after effects of this procedure are for ever and having been hard to live with. I have to defend that I didnt do it just for weight loss but to bypass most of my digestive system b/c I was going to have to have it removed anyways due to another health condition.
and even thou over 3 years I have gained 50 pounds back I hear all the time , how the hell do you gain weight when you had weight loss surgery , its easy ... I drank back my calories. I still dont eat much of anything but drinking is another story.
I have to defend that I cant eat that and ppl say why you on a stupid diet.. UH NO, I physically cant to idiot!!

ahsongbird

right now I'm still overweight so it's all congrats but, i already have my family telling me not to lose too much... all they care about is looks they think if you are chunky you are "healthy" they don't understand fitness or what i'm trying to accomplish and they probably never will.

hollyb9871

I understand what you're saying. I have a SIL (who has been overweight for a long time) who is constantly giving up sugar, meat, caffeine to lose weight and it never works for her. I have never been that big, at 5'4 the most I've weighed non-pregnant is 159 lbs. I knew then as I do now that is not where my body likes to be. Even still she constantly says that I'll look back one day and wish I was only X lbs. My mom is also guilty of making comments about me being a size 3, which I haven't been in over 20 years. The smallest was a 4 about 14 yrs. ago. My mom is also heavy and doesn't seem to have any motivation to change her ways. I have been accused of not eating, which isn't true. If I decide to pass on dessert it is presented numerous times 'just in case'.

To me, getting healthier and taking care of yourself is a great thing to do. Most people probably see the changes you have made and rather than take the helm in their own efforts it's easier to point out yours. People will change when and if they are ready. Your obvious change 53 lbs. (congrats!) makes people consider their own efforts or lack of.

As for how to deal with it, that's a tricky one. You don't have to defend yourself. If someone brings up your loss, you could just say that you are feeling much healthier and are just trying to be your personal best!

Best of luck on your journey and running the 10K

hotelsierra

Yes, OMG, Yes! ! ! ! People are crazy- It has taken me 3 years to lose 30 lbs and tone up to where I am now ( and I LOVE IT) and people think i did this overnite and i don't know what the struggle/commiment is about yada, yada, yada........but I DO! and then I have the flip side, some people tell me when i have an evening out with, say something like pizza and beer, i get comments like "should you really be eating that" granted its isn't the healthiest meal but one i enjoy and I don't take it overboard I eat till I'm full and have only 1- 1 1/2 beers-- come on people lighten up a little! lol,... thanks for the outlet! sometimes you just need to know your not alone! !

Have a great day, Sister! :flowerforyou:

shannonkk

tell them you found a new Vodka Vinagrette, lol.

hotelsierra

BobbyDaniel,

You need to remember that you did all this work and lost the weight for YOU, not for anyone else. The fact that you discovered your jawline and mentioned it in your post just proves how truly far you've come. That's what I find myself coming back to; there will always be someone richer, thinner, prettier and more well-adjusted than me, but *I'm* what I have to work with and I just do what I can with what I have. Celebrate ALL victories, large or small and just keep rockin' on.

Opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one and they all think you want to know what theirs is. Ask any woman who's ever been pregnant can certainly tell you the same thing.

The people asking all the questions; what shape are *they* in? I find I get some really fervent dieting and exercise tips from people that could easily make up two or more of me. My philosophy is that the slower you lose it, the harder it is to gain it back, you just keep on training for that 10K and show them all what you're capable of.

Just say "thanks, I am really comfortable with what I'm doing right now and I've had EXCELLENT results, so if it ain't broke, I'm not going to try to fix it".

AMEN! I completely agree! !

seseymj1

Came on to find your post to offer support as you did for me. Go for it.....I guess we all have our wobbles and everyone elses opinion seems to matter...but actually it is only YOU that . can decide what you want. If you feel better and are enjoying life more thats got to be a success!!!

RaeN81

You don't need to defend it--people are often uncomfortable with change, especially when it's changes they need to make as well. Also, it's been my experience that this could be a weak attempt to compliment you--weird huh? Anyways, congrats on the loss and the example you are setting for others. Blessings!

koosdel

You could always just smirk and say,"Yeah? Well your gonna' die first."

I better not post that... its kinda mean.

BakingGranny

Like ChefJenn,I also had the gastric bypass in 2000. Easy? I almost died. But I DIDN'T. My one sister kept telling me and others I looked like a walking corpse. I lost 150#.Then after all the negative I heard,I started eating sugar,which is a no no. And I gained back almost 40#. Now since Jan 3rd,I took off 20#. Bobby,ppl are saying things like this b/c they aren't happy with themselves. You just keep doing what you're doing and let God take care of them. You look good and if you are happy with how you feel,that's what matters.When ppl aren't happy with themselves,they WILL find fault with someone. I feel when they're picking on me then they'll leave the rest of the world along. God bless you as we journey together.

fteale

My father has twice lost a lot of weight (56lbs ish) going from overweight to healthy, and both times everyone has thought he has had cancer. People don't seem to believe that people can just take a stand and do something about their weight.

BobbyDaniel

I appreciate all the comments, thank you. I do know I'm doing what is best for me, and I'm proud of what I have accomplished so far...and know I still have more ahead of me. Plus, my wife likes what she sees. I'm still waiting to be called "eye candy" by her...but I know it is coming!
Happy Health to you all!

Janworkingitout

I'm experiencing the same thing! It gets a little tiring, having to defend your health all the time!