venting: People who are trying to be 'helpful'

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  • toalwaysbeme
    toalwaysbeme Posts: 33
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    Its good that you came to us to vent, but I also know the reason you came to us is for the support you deserve for the extraordinary efforts you've given.

    MFP is FILLED with people who are in the same boat as you and I for one dont know how I did without it.

    All our lives we're being told what to do by our parents, bosses, the economy, and even ourselves. We have friends to hopefully be supportive and to lean on and confide in when you need them. To have someone treat you like a child or as inadequate is hurtful. You are an adult.... you dont have a curfew and you havent done anything to be punished for, so my advice is to stick with the people who know you better ...... US ..... because we all know EXACTLY how you feel and NO ONE here would EVER judge you.

    Hugs & Kisses
    Deena
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    People like that are called frenemies. She isn't doing you any good, and frankly, it is none of her business to tell you what you shouldn't eat. I am all for chivvying friends along with their weight loss when they want me to, but commenting on someone's diet unprompted is flat out rude.
  • tmaksparkie
    tmaksparkie Posts: 279
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    Having people do this is hard, I get it all the time. I don't eat grains( I eat primal) and I get hassled all the time I just say it is my choice not yours I know what works for my body. Everybody is different if Atkins works for Her great but you did the right thing in thinking if you cut out certain food you like you would fail you know that, that is good because you are not setting yourself up for failure. If she was my friend it would not last long.
  • _LA_
    _LA_ Posts: 111
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    I wouldn't tell that girl a THING anymore. Cut her out of that part of your life and smile, nod and RUN if she tries to inject herself. I have a 'friend' who started telling me how my workout 'wouldn't be enough for her' - (note: she's lazy and will take any excuse not to try anything!) - so I don't say zip to her about anything workout/health/weight related anymore. And I change the subject as quickly as I can when she starts complaining about how heavy she is even though she thinks she walks 26 miles a day at work and 'doesn't eat anything'...
  • JudoJones
    JudoJones Posts: 54
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    i have known a few people like this and i believe part of their notzi like fanatism to 'their' program is based on their own insecurities. She/they would worry that if another way worked than maybe their way is wrong and they can't handle that so they attack you instead of dealing with their own issues.

    As for the atkins diet itself, look to the elite athletes, no one endorses this program as a healthy lifestyle and who cares if you're 'skinny' but a walking disaster.

    As for the splurges, we all fall down. Hopefully on this journey to healthy they just become less and less frequent.

    And....punch her in the throat :)
    scott
  • rydn4h2o
    rydn4h2o Posts: 255
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    Your "friend" sounds like a control freak to me. Tell her to stop worrying about what you do and mind her own business.

    Amen!
  • rydn4h2o
    rydn4h2o Posts: 255
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    my response to her would be the following...

    YOUR "DIET" IS TEMPORARY! You won't be able to eat Adkins for the rest of your life. You'll lose fast but you'll put it back on even faster and then some. Please take your QUICK FIX and live your own life while I live mine. I may have a few bad days every now and again but my way of eating isn't a diet it's a life style change and I'm not going to RESTRICT myself and cause myself to binge. I will make mistakes ...but I won't balloon back up like I would if I was on a quick fix. Thank you and have a nice day! :)

    You are completely correct! I did the Atkins diet years ago and yes, I lost a ton of weight. But the minute I went off of it (it's not something you can live with forever!) I gained everything back and then-some.
  • feathers1981
    feathers1981 Posts: 69 Member
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    Just delete her!!! :o)
  • Lisa__Michelle
    Lisa__Michelle Posts: 845 Member
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    It is actually GOOD to have a cheat meal or dessert every once and a while!! The people who fail restrict themselves too much and don't allow a meal to cheat. Those people I have read are the most likely to quit because then they CRAVE everything. You probably did your metabolism a favor too because you have been so good for 10 weeks!

    Just tell her you are not planning on doing this Atkins thing and to let off of you. Why is a friend acting like your mother anyway? I hope you can tell her how you feel in a nice way. Tricky situation. Hope it works out for you and good luck on your journey!
  • jittythekitty
    jittythekitty Posts: 62 Member
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    Oh --- don't worry, you may lose the weight slower --- but you won't have icky sagging skin, you arn't eatting cardboard 24/7 and when this is all said and done your friend will probably quit Adkins, not actually know how to eat like a normal person and gain all her weight back. While you are sitting by the pool in your bikini, sippin on a Pina Colada XD
  • therobinator
    therobinator Posts: 832 Member
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    People suck. :(
    Sorry you have to deal with them.

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