Taking Things Too Far?

klikittyklak

My mother has been obsessed with weight loss since January. Don't get me wrong, I am very proud of her for losing what she has, but I think she has taken it too far and it is starting to worry me.

At 5'6" and 53 years old, she started at 166 lbs. and starved herself throughout the winter (800-900 calories a day) to reach her first goal weight of 133 lbs. Now that she has reached that, she wants to lose another 12 lbs. to be 121. I checked the charts, and that would set her in LESS THAN the 2nd percentile of women her age. She continues to ignore my advice about eating 1200 calories a day + exercise calories, and scoffs that she did just fine on her own (starving herself) before now.

She is upset that I am not supportive, but I really do find this to be a serious problem. I am only mad about it because I love her and want her to be healthy. She is upset that I keep bringing up her age, but at 53 and post-menopause, I think she needs to have different goals than I do (20 years old). Her goal weight would put her within 5 of mine (which is already almost too thin for ME).

klikittyklak

My mother has been obsessed with weight loss since January. Don't get me wrong, I am very proud of her for losing what she has, but I think she has taken it too far and it is starting to worry me.

At 5'6" and 53 years old, she started at 166 lbs. and starved herself throughout the winter (800-900 calories a day) to reach her first goal weight of 133 lbs. Now that she has reached that, she wants to lose another 12 lbs. to be 121. I checked the charts, and that would set her in LESS THAN the 2nd percentile of women her age. She continues to ignore my advice about eating 1200 calories a day + exercise calories, and scoffs that she did just fine on her own (starving herself) before now.

She is upset that I am not supportive, but I really do find this to be a serious problem. I am only mad about it because I love her and want her to be healthy. She is upset that I keep bringing up her age, but at 53 and post-menopause, I think she needs to have different goals than I do (20 years old). Her goal weight would put her within 5 of mine (which is already almost too thin for ME).

shorerider

I'm not a doctor or any kind of professional in health, food, or mental areas but...your mother sounds at least borderline anorexic to me. Not sure what you can do about it but she definitely has very unhealthy eating habits.

banks1850

The numbers don't sound great (that 800 - 900 thing sounds horrible), but after doing a little number crunching, 1200 a day plus exercise cals for her current weight isn't horrible, probably a little less then I would recommend, but not that bad. I mean, her Maintenance cals are about 1700 or so, so that's a 500 cal deficit. It doesn't sound as if she is doing it in a really healthy manner, but other then that, I can't see it as a really huge deficit. I don't believe it sounds anorexic to me. I know some people who are and were anorexic, and to most of them, 1200 calories would be unfathomable. Now, without knowing or speaking to her, I don't pretend to know, but really, it doesn't sound that bad to me.
Best of luck to you.

banks1850

oh wait, I'm sorry, I misread, you meant that she ISN'T eating 1200 a day. Well in that case, disregard my above statement, smack her around a little and tell her to go talk to a nutritionist!

Glammy

I'm not a doctor either, and I certainly don't agree with her tactics, however, as an older woman, she is probably struggling with the "pouch" that never goes away, the sagging b00bs (and other things...). Is she trying to tone up with this or is it just a number she wants to get to? Is she very active and small framed? Is she on medication (or should be?) Could this be just a 'phase'? These are just a few of the 'unknowns'. I'm 5'6" and I remember being 121 pounds (when I was 18) and I'm sure I looked good! But now, I couldn't imagine being below 130 - heck my goal is 144 because I'm trying to be realistic here.
Some mother's just won't listen to their kids!
Good luck.

klikittyklak

1200 a day plus exercise cals for her current weight isn't horrible, probably a little less then I would recommend, but not that bad.

But she won't eat 1200 calories + exercise. I've been trying to get her to! Actually, she might be doing so now, but she wasn't for months. I agree that eating 1200 + exercise would be fine. Good for her even. But I also think that dropping as low as 121 lbs for her would be a bad idea.

klikittyklak

oh wait, I'm sorry, I misread, you meant that she ISN'T eating 1200 a day. Well in that case, disregard my above statement, smack her around a little and tell her to go talk to a nutritionist!

Phoenix_Rising

Can you get her to talk to her doctor about it? Maybe if you challenge her, she might ask the doctor to prove who is correct?

klikittyklak

s an older woman, she is probably struggling with the "pouch" that never goes away, the sagging b00bs (and other things...). Is she trying to tone up with this or is it just a number she wants to get to? Is she very active and small framed?

She says she wants to spend her last five 'good years' being thin. But I think she's beautiful (and thin!) already, and shouldn't spend her last five good years worrying about it!! She is not super active, but she does have a small frame. I think she would look sickly at 121 though. After much battling she has promised not to go below 126, so we'll see.

shorerider

I'm 5'4" and ideal weight for my height is 120-140, so if she's 5'6" and wants to be 121...I think that's a little low, too. And, if she is large frame--which I don't know--she would need to be way above her goal. I have a large frame for a woman, so am aiming for the upper end of my ideal weight. If I went down to 120, I'd look like a skeleton!

The menopause thing adds a whole other dimension, too. I'm finding out more about that stage since it seems I am probably pre-menopausal. One thing the doc said was to make sure to get in calcium because bones tend to "thin out" during menopause, so anything to strengthen the bones is good. If she's eating 800-900 a day, she can't be getting in all the calcium and other stuff her body absolutely needs at this time in her life.

But, it seems she's not inclined to listen to you, so maybe you could try to get her to talk to her doctor?

banks1850

Tell her I think Marilyn Monroe was GORGEOUS. Seriously. Jillian from TBL is much prettier then someone like Nicole Richie or Kate Moss (ack yuck!). Its all about the shape and the tone! Forget the 10% bodyfat thing.