Struggling to eat enough

helenium

Hello everyone,

I don't want to be another "should I *really* eat this huge number of calories a day?" person, as I've read all the starvation diet posts etc. already and I completely agree with them.
Only I've netted 613 calories today (1075 food - 462 exercise). I know I need to eat more. Before joining MFP one and a half weeks ago I was eating about 700 calories a day + exercise on top, which was not healthy. BUT: I don't think I could fit any more food into me. I'm absolutely full. Eating more feels gluttonous.

My main problem with managing to eat 1200 calories a day is that my mother wishes I wouldn't eat 1200 calories a day. She wants me to eat 1000 calories a day at most + exercise on top. If I eat more, she increases the number of 'fat' comments she says about me. She doesn't believe in starvation mode. She's got a BMI of 21 - 22 and eats very little herself. I only get on well with my mum if I'm starving myself. And it's quite hard to live with my parents (as I currently have to do) when I don't get on well with my mum...

Any advice would be appreciated. Are you in the same position? My situation is made worse by the fact that I'm currently gaining weight, which is supposedly proving my mother's point. HELP!

bjshields

First of all, I'm so sorry! What the h*#% is it with Moms & mean comments? My mother once commented to me that "You never love anybody like you love your first child." Um, Mom -- I'm your SECOND CHILD! :noway: My Mom has been wonderful in many ways, but that was not one of them.:grumble:

At any rate -- 1,000 calories is not enough for your brain to function; I'm not sure how much you weigh, but 1,200 may not be enough, either. If you've put in your weight, activity level, etc., try abiding by MFP's calorie count for awhile & see not only what happens with your weight, but how you feel. Some days, I struggle getting enough calories, but mostly with eating too many. If I add wine (which I LOVE) or something sweet, it goes to pot pretty quickly.

Also -- what are you eating? Are you focusing on good old fruits & veggies? If you are eating a ton of fruits & veggies and having a hard time getting enough calories, I wouldn't worry with it; if not, then focus on adding in more fruits and veggies.

Good luck to you, and hang in there!

Shweedog

1) It's your body AND health. NOT your mother's.
2) You need energy to make energy. Stop looking at calories as fat. They are energy. Too little energy=slowed metabolism=no weight loss.
3)You don't have to eat MORE food to eat more calories. Eat foods higher in calories to make sure you are netting 1000-1200 calories per day.

baisleac

Suggestions for increasing healthy calories while not eating more:

Cut out "low fat" foods (i.e. foods that weren't designed to be low fat - cheese, milk, yogurt, etc).
Cook with a bit of olive oil, instead of Pam (or similar product)
Protein shakes/Fruit smoothies (drinking calories is easier than eating them for some)

Is your mom buying your food? Is she living in your body? Is she a dietitian or nutrionist? I'd tell her to bugger off, but I'm blunt like that. Whatever you do, don't hide what you're eating... I would imagine that way can easily lead to eating disorders.

Newfiedan

Do what is healthy for you, to many people have absolutely no idea what real health is about and what it takes to make that happen. Not everyone needs 1200 cals or more a day it depends by and large on what your stats are. So starvation mode can be very real for some and very off base for others. Your mother obviously has had it ingrained in her head that eating more means fat. Well stick to what has been working for you and start looking for calorically dense foods that have a good nutritional value, a handful of almonds for instance will pack between 200-400 cals depending on the size of your hand and are a great dietary food. Spread the cals out throughout the day with each meal. I advocate a clean eating diet with a big breakfast at its core. So my advice is to simply keep on trucking along and steer clear of her advice she will cut the comments once you have surpassed her.

cowlover22

Sorry to hear that you are going through this! Could you tell your mother that you have done some research about the starvation therory and it must be true b/c you are gaining. I would just love to talk with your mom..comments like that started my 20 plus year struggle with an eating disorder! I am trying to recover now and my body is so messed up that the days that I eat 500 or less cals I gain weight and the days I eat 3600(what I am supposed to be eating) I lose. The reason they want me to eat so much is because after time if I would be consistent my body would adjust. So since she is not being helpfull how about sneeking (I guees you could say) things like peanut butter, juice..something dense to eat so she wont notice and you can do what you need to do for yourself. Good luck! Hang in there!

cjnorman

Add a handful of nuts (almonds, cashews, etc). Lots of calories in a small package plus protein. When I was on a no carb diet that is the only way I kept my calories up. :happy:

helenium

Thanks for the support! I weigh 169.5 lbs at the moment, down from 191. I'm eating a lot of veggies at the moment (my mum has implied I've been eating TOO many... like whole packs of runner beans worth 40 calories today...) and quite a bit of fruit (though not as much as vegetables).

I asked for a weight loss of 1.5 lbs a week (to the sadness of the Parent, who would rather I lost 2.5 a week) and MFP told me to eat 1200 net calories a day for a maximum weight loss of 1.4 lbs a week. I'm trying to get to that number, but it means having snacks between meals and this seems to be frowned upon in the house...

One problem is exercise - if I exercise, I've got to eat the calories back. If I did that, my mum would freak out. So usually I don't manage to eat the calories back.

I'm hoping to keep going at 1200 calories for a while, and I'm REALLY hoping I will stop gaining weight and start losing it again. I don't know how long this process will take...

Thanks for the help so much.

SOOZIE429

Eating under 1000 calories a day you will surely lose weight, BUT you are not losing fat, you are losing MUSCLE. Why in the world would you want to do that?????

EAT, for goodness' sake!!

Eat lean proteins
Fruits and veggies
Healthy oil (like olive or canola)
Whole grains (brown rice, whole wheat pasta)
Dairy (yogurts, cottage cheese)

Trust me, you can eat 1200 cals a day. Forget what Mum says. She's not you.

Newfiedan

congrats on the loss so far, and yes eating them back is the way to go, do you workout at home or at a gym? the reason I ask is that post workout I recommend drinking 1-2 cups of 1% chocolate milk for recovery that is 320 cals roughly and may be all you need to get that recovery in. if its going to be that much of an issue take a walk and eat/drink on the go. She will think you are exercising more rather than putting proper nutrition into your body.

helenium

Almonds! It's a good idea... I might have some tonight, if I can get it out of my head that it'll make me gain more weight in the long run.

I'm also trying to weigh weekly, not daily. My mum wants me to weigh daily, and is annoyed if I even stay the same between one day and the next. I'm frightened of Thursday (my next weigh) because I'm pretty sure I'll be higher than last Thursday and I'll get more fat comments.

I wish I could be in control of my own diet without being guilt-tripped by my own brain... I'm getting pretty scared of Food and what it represents, to be honest.

Newfiedan

that's ok its quite common to see that in women who are being programmed wrong. I have had struggles with many female friends over the years to trust me and when they do the weight starts coming off and they are at a loss to wrap their heads around why it works. You do not need to know the science just know how to use it. Like I said if its that hard to deal with her then go to a gym or walk and eat, what she perceives as more working out can be a great time to clear your head and refresh yourself and your body. I had an all out fight with one of my female friends mom who argued with me outright that I am dead wrong, well now here we are 3 months post argument and her daughter (my friend) is 20 pounds lighter and a real animal in the gym. She had to eat her own words and now wants me to teach her the same things. I told her outright that I would if she apologized to her daughter in front of me and her family. This is a very hard thing for her to do and has yet to do it so I withheld the info.