"You don't need to lose weight"

allie_00

I'm not a supermodel by any means, but I hear this a lot. I know I don't "need" to lose weight but if I choose to do so, there is definitely some to lose! It's more about feeling good and wanting the absolute best for myself. Everyone has a range they consider healthy, which may be above or below your BMI depending on your frame.

How do YOU respond to such comments?

fuzzymel

I say that I have a number in my head and its a totally healthy bmi.

I know that I don't need to lose weight because I am now a healthy weight but as someone who was overweight I want to hit the all important goal weight and stay there.

jewelzz

I get this to,I still have 20 I want to lose but everyone says oh no you cant lose 20 more you will be sick.Really????I think not

teachparents

i say i'm not happy with my "jiggles" and working out and eating healthy will lose the jiggles....

kimmerroze

I say thank you. and then tell myself that my hard work is paying off if people are now telling me I dont' need to lose any more weight. I use that compliment as fuel to work harder.

Thorneapple

I've lost almost 50 lbs and am currently working on maintenance and being as fit as possible. I would like to lose a couple more lbs, but that is for my own satisfaction. I know I don't "need" to lose any more.

SamiSamiBoBlammy

I tell them its not about being skinny, its about being healthy.

Just because you're skinny doesn't mean you are healthy...

Elle408

Rather than say that you're losing weight try a different approach... I usually just smile and nod and tell them that i'm eating healthily and getting fitter. There's not much negative they can say to that!

chris1132

I HATE when people say that to me. I am in the low end of my "healthy BMI" but I still want to lose a few pounds. I have a lot of issues with it.

First of all, it's my body. Not theirs! Just because X,Y, or Z at the office wants to sit around and eat potato chips while watching four hours of television at night doesn't mean that's what I want to do.

Secondly, I'm doing it in a healthy way.

Thirdly, the people who say that have not seen me naked (except for my boyfriend...tehehe). I dress well for my body and hide my extra pounds.

And finally, my frame is very small, even though I'm taller than average. Extra weight sits poorly on me.

Sorry, ranting now! But that happens to me a lot and it's really annoying and nosy.

Chrissy_Michelle

I get the same thing. Sometimes it comes across as a compliment and other times it comes across kind of mean. Just smile and say, "thank you."

Chrissy_Michelle

I HATE when people say that to me. I am in the low end of my "healthy BMI" but I still want to lose a few pounds. I have a lot of issues with it.

First of all, it's my body. Not theirs! Just because X,Y, or Z at the office wants to sit around and eat potato chips while watching four hours of television at night doesn't mean that's what I want to do.

Secondly, I'm doing it in a healthy way.

Thirdly, the people who say that have not seen me naked (except for my boyfriend...tehehe). I dress well for my body and hide my extra pounds.

And finally, my frame is very small, even though I'm taller than average. Extra weight sits poorly on me.

Sorry, ranting now! But that happens to me a lot and it's really annoying and nosy.

The part about them not seeing you naked...Love it, I relate! I too hide things pretty well...if they only knew what losing 90lbs looks like under the cute clothes! Whew!

boognish1972

The real question is, why do you feel the need to tell people that you're trying to lose weight in the first place? Do you like it when they tell you that you don't need to lose any weight? I was having a conversation with a co-worker a couple of months ago, and she is probably a good 100-150 pounds overweight, when our other co-worker approached (weighing ~120 pounds) and asked if we would support her in trying to lose five pounds. The obese co-worker of mine just calmly told her to GET OUT OF MY OFFICE. :laugh: . Then she said, "I hate people like that", and I couldn't disagree with her.

IMHO, it gets old hearing people who appear to be in good shape obsess about being overweight; it's like the guy who goes to the gym every night telling me that he needs bigger biceps. Maybe you do, but I don't give a crap. I might not tell you that you don't need to lose weight, but I'd probably give you a good eye roll when you started talking to me about it.

patricac

You know, I've been getting that a lot lately - that I don't really need to lose any more... I think it's because I was big for so long and now I'm down 60+ lbs, so it's a dramatic difference. Plus, I've always been big. I am also reaching the same sizes as some of my friends... It's actually motivating some of them to get moving and start working out. Which is wonderful!

Truth is, I'm not happy w/just being "smaller" than I was. I'm still not at a healthy BMI.

I usually respond that I want to get to a healthy body mass index THEN I want to tone up and have a hard body :happy: Seriously, I would love to be toned. But right now, my priority is getting to a healthy BMI. Once I'm there, then I'll focus on the rest (toning, etc).

TonyTrinch

I love how other people feel sooooooo free to comment on someone else's weight. How did it get to where that was socially acceptable? That said, personally, I'd pass out of someone made a comment like that to me, hehe, and I might actually kiss them. Instead, I get the other end of that spectrum. I ran into someone a couple of weeks ago that I hadn't seen in several years. He said, "Wow dude, you really packed on the pounds, what happened?"

I liked it better in days when folks just talked cr*p about you behind your back. This new fangled world where it's Ok to say whatever you want as long as it's to someone's face, really stinks.

How did I respond to his comment and how would I respond to someone telling I didn't need to lose anymore weight. I didn't respond, I just walked away. I didn't politely smile, I didn't say anything snotty, I just turned around and walked away and reminded myself why I hadn't seen him in several years. He's a rude jerk and not someone I wanted actively in my life and he just reminded me of why.

Unless I ask your opinion or advice, don't offer it. I don't care if you're "really concerned" or "just worried about you." Boundaries people, learn to love them again. If you can disrespect me enough to offer your thoughts on my weight unsolicitedly, then I am very comfortable respecting myself enough to move from your presence. I'm done with those kinds of people in my life.

SueInAz

I get the same reaction, even though I'm at the top end of my healthy BMI. I dress well to hide the extra pounds usually and most of my co-workers, and my husband could all stand to lose a few pounds. My "excuse" for them is that my clothes don't fit. I tell them "I either lose some weight or buy a new wardrobe. And I hate clothes shopping". That usually seems to satisfy them.

ZachyABaby

Yeah I get that a lot, actually. The clothes/small frame thing is on point and really the only areas of my body that aren't at least muscular (not toned) are my abs/lovehandles. So of course everyone's like "Oh, you 're going to be like those hungry man commercials and blow away."

I just smile because I know when I leave the gym I feel better than they do all day long.

Mamapengu

I hear that a lot at work. I consider the source- they are usually struggling with their weight but not making the changes needed to drop any pounds of their own. The larger they are the more I hear it from them. I almost never hear it from those who have healthy habits and are at a good weight.

Sarahr73

I get that all the time. I just tell them I am trying to get toned and my weight is just a frame of reference. When I get to the SIZE I want to be (jean/dress size) I will be happy with my body. I may weigh more than my goal weight, but I will know it is muscle and not fat. I also tell them that since I was thin all my life, I can feel the fat. It's heavy and I don't like the feeling and want it gone. And if they can't/don't/won't understand then they are just BFJs and not worth my time trying to explain it any further.

kelsully

I'm not a supermodel by any means, but I hear this a lot. I know I don't "need" to lose weight but if I choose to do so, there is definitely some to lose! It's more about feeling good and wanting the absolute best for myself. Everyone has a range they consider healthy, which may be above or below your BMI depending on your frame.

How do YOU respond to such comments?

I don't talk about it with people who don't understand that even at target weight it takes a certain amount of effort to maintain a healthy lifestyle. If someones rudely thinks I want their comments on the food I eat...ie the healthy, balanced, full flavored, appropriately portions I eat are welcome I simply say...oh I prefer how I feel when I fuel my body with good stuff and how can you not like a great blueberry (or whatever tasty goodies I have). If they are asking out of a true desire to know about my choices I will share but only when the comments or questions are sincere and not snarky etc. Otherwise I have learned that discussig good choices with people opens you up for insane rudeness and even being called names like "skinny b%^ch" which I personally find offensive.

catherine1979

Rather than say that you're losing weight try a different approach... I usually just smile and nod and tell them that i'm eating healthily and getting fitter. There's not much negative they can say to that!

This is what I do as well, I shift the focus away from weight and to health and fitness.

lowpost42

I reply "b!tches be crazy."

And then shake my head with a wry smile.

And then change the subject.

HelenTheKitchen

Tell them to lay off the haterade.

Sarahr73

I reply "b!tches be crazy."

And then shake my head with a wry smile.

And then change the subject.

I might have to try this from now on! It's great :laugh:

mom2renni

I'm in the same boat. I know I don't NEED to lose weight, but i'd like to tone up and look amazing (in my eyes) in a bikini this summer. My daughter just recently found this silly "about me" book that I wrote in when i was 15. I was 123. I am now 35 and weigh 127. I'd just like to lose a little...maybe 10-20 pounds, particularly the booty Just a little toning...but I am soooo bad at getting motivated and I love to eat!

allie_00

Great answers, everyone! Honestly, it usually comes up at work when I'm eating my typically healthy snacks. Of course, this is observed as being diet-esque and then the conversation continues. Lol. As noted above, it's usually from people that never exercise and are very overweight.

Anyway, good luck to you all. Let's hope that the naysayers stay at bay!

ShrinkinMel

Well looking at you in your profile I'd agree. Not to say we all can't be healthier and change our body composition. You seem to be a healthy weight and BMI but if you feel you can be healthier go for it.



Just remember you can weigh more and have lots of muscle tone and be smaller.

Also some larger people like myself can feel offended because we NEED to lose weight and get the feeling that people are judging us. Not saying it happens now with me but when I was younger I had a size zero friend who always complained she was fat. UMM yeah not buying it was always my thought. But getting fit is always an option if you feel jiggles or trouble zones.

ToniDH

Those comments are so darned annoying! It's my body...if I want to lose more weight, try to maintain weight loss, or tone it up then that's MY business! Could you imagine going up to a heavy person who you see eating a candy bar and asking if they are trying to gain weight? Ridiculous! I either tell them that yes I am still trying to shed a few pounds or that I'm just trying to maintain my loss and tone up the flab! I am very tall and always carry extra weight well, and tend to look pretty thin at a very healthy BMI so I get comments a lot about being too thin or the purpose of my weight loss. My body = not your business unless you have a positive encouraging comment.

cng1117

"Unless I ask your opinion or advice, don't offer it. I don't care if you're "really concerned" or "just worried about you." Boundaries people, learn to love them again. If you can disrespect me enough to offer your thoughts on my weight unsolicitedly, then I am very comfortable respecting myself enough to move from your presence. I'm done with those kinds of people in my life."


This needs to be stitched on a pillow, absolutely love it!!!! I'm already hearing it from certain members of my family and I'm not even close to goal weight, except that what I hear is "Oh, I'm so glad that you're losing weight, but don't get any smaller than a size 12/14. You would look funny/skinny/sick any smaller than that." wtf? I'm 5" 5 with a medium build. A 12/14 is NOT going to look "too skinny" a 12 is still going to look like I have some chubbies that need to done away with >:/

rmhand

I say I'm working on a healthy lifestyle and fighting the bad things in my genes. I love to work and and it makes me feel good. Its just a personal choice and its not for them to judge.

myofibril

How do YOU respond to such comments?

I would say "You're right. What I need to do is lower my body fat level whilst preserving lean body mass and strength. However, i haven't decided if my focus should be myofibrillar or sacroplasmic hypertrophy in my resistance based training. What do you suggest?"

That should shut them up. Most people are clueless.

johnwhitent

People can mean very different things with that comment. Some mean it as a sincere compliment, and I thank them. Others are confronted by the fact that if you need to lose weight then they need to lose weight, so they avoid their own weight issue by demeaning your desire to be healthy. I don't really have a "come back" for them, I prefer to "turn the other check." I just share my thoughts as a way to express myself here in a community of like minded individuals (on weight anyway.)