OT -- What's the Funniest Pick Up Line You've Heard?

mholmes

I have a few:

(similar to the windex one....."Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants"
-Do you know where the veterinarian office is because these pythons are SICK (flexing), I cant believe a guy literally did that to me at a bar! But it was so hialrious I let him buy me a drink.
-And one time my fiance, and all of his friends and I were all at our local bar, its karaoke night and he busts out with all of his friends in TopGun manner, the nthe song ended and he proposed....I love that movie! But I was soooooo embarrassed, ten drunk guys singing how id lost my lovin feelin.....sheesh, but hey, its a great story

awww....My hubby proposed and then peed my name in the sand

Now that's romance.

yep! I was still checkin out the rock to make sure it was real and he said "baby, baby!! Look at this! I peed your name in the sand!" My mom says no matter how the men propose now to my sisters, no man can live up to that:laugh:

mholmes

omg...I forgot the best one.

I was "sick" in the bathroom at a party and a guy came in and asked me if "I wanted to make out". lol
I could barely lift my head from the toilet to give him a dirty look!!

:sick:

sgtinvincible

I have a few:

(similar to the windex one....."Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants"
-Do you know where the veterinarian office is because these pythons are SICK (flexing), I cant believe a guy literally did that to me at a bar! But it was so hialrious I let him buy me a drink.
-And one time my fiance, and all of his friends and I were all at our local bar, its karaoke night and he busts out with all of his friends in TopGun manner, the nthe song ended and he proposed....I love that movie! But I was soooooo embarrassed, ten drunk guys singing how id lost my lovin feelin.....sheesh, but hey, its a great story

awww....My hubby proposed and then peed my name in the sand

Now that's romance.

yep! I was still checkin out the rock to make sure it was real and he said "baby, baby!! Look at this! I peed your name in the sand!" My mom says no matter how the men propose now to my sisters, no man can live up to that:laugh:

True that.

Shannon023

I have a few:

(similar to the windex one....."Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants"
-Do you know where the veterinarian office is because these pythons are SICK (flexing), I cant believe a guy literally did that to me at a bar! But it was so hialrious I let him buy me a drink.
-And one time my fiance, and all of his friends and I were all at our local bar, its karaoke night and he busts out with all of his friends in TopGun manner, the nthe song ended and he proposed....I love that movie! But I was soooooo embarrassed, ten drunk guys singing how id lost my lovin feelin.....sheesh, but hey, its a great story

awww....My hubby proposed and then peed my name in the sand

Now that's romance.

yep! I was still checkin out the rock to make sure it was real and he said "baby, baby!! Look at this! I peed your name in the sand!" My mom says no matter how the men propose now to my sisters, no man can live up to that:laugh:

Especially if he did your first, middle & last name! :laugh:

mholmes

I have a few:

(similar to the windex one....."Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants"
-Do you know where the veterinarian office is because these pythons are SICK (flexing), I cant believe a guy literally did that to me at a bar! But it was so hialrious I let him buy me a drink.
-And one time my fiance, and all of his friends and I were all at our local bar, its karaoke night and he busts out with all of his friends in TopGun manner, the nthe song ended and he proposed....I love that movie! But I was soooooo embarrassed, ten drunk guys singing how id lost my lovin feelin.....sheesh, but hey, its a great story

awww....My hubby proposed and then peed my name in the sand

Now that's romance.

yep! I was still checkin out the rock to make sure it was real and he said "baby, baby!! Look at this! I peed your name in the sand!" My mom says no matter how the men propose now to my sisters, no man can live up to that:laugh:

Especially if he did your first, middle & last name! :laugh:

1,2,3,4,5.... 21 letters! Nah... 5 - in cursive. Not print, I hear thats painfull for a guy :laugh:

jill927

-And one time my fiance, and all of his friends and I were all at our local bar, its karaoke night and he busts out with all of his friends in TopGun manner "youve lost that loving feelin" , then the song ended and he proposed....I love that movie! But I was soooooo embarrassed, ten drunk guys singing how id lost my lovin feelin.....sheesh, but hey, its a great story

that's so cute! I love it!

mommared53

That sweater is very becoming on you...I'd like to be coming on you as well! :noway:

EEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! :sick:

fatsis

That sweater is very becoming on you...I'd like to be coming on you as well! :noway:

EEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! :sick:

Yea sweaters are pretty gross. :bigsmile:

rosenbss

how about coming to my house for pizza and sex....I said no thanks he said whats wrong dont ya like pizza.......ugggggghhhhhh

jill927

how about coming to my house for pizza and sex....I said no thanks he said whats wrong dont ya like pizza.......ugggggghhhhhh

haha there's not a big enough sausage in that deal for me hehehehehehehe:laugh:

sgtinvincible

how about coming to my house for pizza and sex....I said no thanks he said whats wrong dont ya like pizza.......ugggggghhhhhh

haha there's not a big enough sausage in that deal for me hehehehehehehe:laugh:

LMBO

Emdicio

how about coming to my house for pizza and sex....I said no thanks he said whats wrong dont ya like pizza.......ugggggghhhhhh

haha there's not a big enough sausage in that deal for me hehehehehehehe:laugh:

Kilbasa, or summer sausage? :noway: :laugh:

jill927

Kilbasa, or summer sausage? :noway: :laugh:

It's not the type of ... sausage ... but it's how you use it! LOL

ellelit

"i like big butts". still some of the best sex i've ever had lol.

destiny_206

Thanks for this post. I lov eit it makes me laugh. I wish I knew more to add.

My boyfriend could not get the windex one. He sat there then said, I dont get it, he thought the pants were reflective somehow and was trying to figure out how widex could do that too pants. See what I put up with. Hes book smart but no common sence.

destiny_206

"girls I am the professer of love and schools in session"
the movie dianosurs

Zeii

Me: "Hey pretty girl, want to go out sometime?"

Pretentious Elite Diva Girl: "Ahem. No!"

Me: "Oh, cmon sweetheart, I lowered my standards, why can't you?"

Best pick up line EVER! :laugh:

jill927

Me: "Hey pretty girl, want to go out sometime?"

Pretentious Elite Diva Girl: "Ahem. No!"

Me: "Oh, cmon sweetheart, I lowered my standards, why can't you?"

oooooooooooooohhh BURN!

jill927

"Girl, you must be Irish, 'cuz my c@&* is Dublin' "

sgtinvincible

Me: "Hey pretty girl, want to go out sometime?"

Pretentious Elite Diva Girl: "Ahem. No!"

Me: "Oh, cmon sweetheart, I lowered my standards, why can't you?"

oooooooooooooohhh BURN!

Thank you Jill for appreciating my amazing wit. :bigsmile:

jill927

Thank you Jill for appreciating my amazing wit. :bigsmile:

No problem Jeremy!

mholmes

"Girl, you must be Irish, 'cuz my c@&* is Dublin' "

I can't wait to tell my hubby that one!! :laugh:

destiny_206

Guy: The CIA is trying to steal my penis I need to find a place to hide it.
Girl: How can I help?

jill927

Guy: The CIA is trying to steal my penis I need to find a place to hide it.
Girl: How can I help?

This sounds like a blond joke... :laugh:

KrisKabob

This isn't a pick up line but I knew a guy in college that was such a creep. When we would be at pre-bar parties he would be like:

"Okay, guys, let's get drunk so we can go to the bar and make some ladies uncomfortable".

WEIRDO!!! I stayed far away from him!

Theresa35

This isn't a pick up line but I knew a guy in college that was such a creep. When we would be at pre-bar parties he would be like:

"Okay, guys, let's get drunk so we can go to the bar and make some ladies uncomfortable".

WEIRDO!!! I stayed far away from him!

YIKES....that makes me uncomfortable just reading it...EWWWW....:sick:

chubbygirl30

Do you have (put ethic group here) in you? Would you like some? :sick: at that time I was still a virgin so it took me a minute and then I about threw up.

Ahaha, so lame, but so funny.

That's like my favorite shot down retort:



Me: "Hey pretty girl, want to go out sometime?"

Pretentious Elite Diva Girl: "Ahem. No!"

Me: "Oh, cmon sweetheart, I lowered my standards, why can't you?"


:bigsmile: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh: :bigsmile:

OMG that is really funny!!! love it!!:laugh: