awakening your inner warrior *long read*

Newfiedan

As you read this you may be asking what is this inner warrior of which you speak. The inner warrior is that primal aggression, that passionate side of you that may be buried deep in there that is just screaming to get out but falling on deaf ears. The emotional weight that you have burdened yourself with, over complicating your life, making your goals seem unattainable. Got your attention yet? I hope so, I described the awakening to me, it happened while I was running on the treadmill on a saturday morning, I like to clear my head while running focusing on my breathing, the sounds around me drown out and I zone into myself, going deep into thought and giving myself a mental clarity that I do not usually get time for during a busy week. I was running and almost at the end of my high intensity interval session when I felt this inner warrior come screaming forth saying to me "you are going to stop now? you have barely hit your max, hell you are not nearly out of gas and you want to quit? F**k that, get off your *kitten* and push it to the limit" I went wide eyed, felt a rush of adrenalin and pushed it further, faster and harder than even I though possible. For those of us whom watched biggest loser, it was like when Jillian Michaels yells at them "do you want to quit?", while riding on their backs literally sometimes. Well that was my inner warrior.

Now when I challenge myself with my new routine this is what I tap into, that drive I used in my everyday work ethic, that aggression I feel when people annoy me or get in my way, that pure adrenalin fueled emotion of wanting to SCREAM out my aggression. It is pure energy, pure release, a cleansing of the soul if you will. Now I know many of you have not felt this in a long time, but here is what I recommend you do to tap into it easily and readily.

1) once a week take a break to reflect on where you are and where you want to be in life, at first that may mean that you need to allow yourself to get angry, to build and nurture that anger for the gym, all those feelings of not being able to get ahead or get to your goal.

2) Learn to make peace with that aggression and use it towards a positive goal. Its a tool, its beneficial. Tap into that inner voice you have use it to push yourself and push beyond your negative side that tells you "you can not possibly reach your goal". I want you to get angry, I want you to scream at it, i want you to tear the living crap out of that side of you, that self defeatist, that image that society perpetuates that women need to be super skinny and eat f**k all, that all men need to be built like a greek god to feel like a "man". There is a river of energy running in us all that we can tap into at any given time if we just learn how to use it right.

When we finally get that inner warrior out, the question is what to do with it? Well I have trouble controlling mine now as when I hit a challenge it peaks its head up and says "oh really, with an evil grin". But I channel it into workouts, I allow calmer heads to prevail when needed after all I can not rip the head off someone who annoys me as much as that would feel good at the time lol. So now take that passion and use it to learn how to feed and fuel that warrior you are now (yes you are a warrior no matter how you view yourself), if you are overweight then use that to your advantage, it will allow you to work off more calories than your peers, and when the time is right that will continue onto achieving a goal you never though possible.

teasha43

Thanks for posting...I enjoyed the read. I know I have used mine before. Sometimes we get complacent...don't push as hard as we could or should. Mine comes in waves. What I need to do it make it a constant. It is almost like pressure. I have a hard time perceiving failure..both to myself and to others. That is usually what pushes me. I will not fail! ....

Newfiedan

yep u got it. lol. For me this time around failure was not an option nor was "dieting" no more quick fixes, make it permanent this time around.

katalak

I so totally get it...it's the want to, it's the I want this more than I want to breathe almost! I began at 426lbs and I dropped to 159 and began dating someone who was not good and I got back up to 268 and we split up and I lost down to 190 and then the weak side of me took him back and I gained 48lbs back because he didn't want me going to the gym and I had to fix fried pork chops and eat them....I finally tapped into that inner part of myself and said no more and I meant it more than ever in my life...I packed up, moved out, sold my house while he remained there...thinking I was coming back...moved out of state, proved him and everyone wrong and I am now down to 229 as of this morning! I want this not as a temp thing ever again, this is a permanent thing and if whom I'm in a relationship with feels intimidated then he needs not to even wate his time or mine! I'm once and for all making life changes...spring cleaning!!
Loved ur post by the way! Best of Luck! Kat

Newfiedan

I so totally get it...it's the want to, it's the I want this more than I want to breathe almost! I began at 426lbs and I dropped to 159 and began dating someone who was not good and I got back up to 268 and we split up and I lost down to 190 and then the weak side of me took him back and I gained 48lbs back because he didn't want me going to the gym and I had to fix fried pork chops and eat them....I finally tapped into that inner part of myself and said no more and I meant it more than ever in my life...I packed up, moved out, sold my house while he remained there...thinking I was coming back...moved out of state, proved him and everyone wrong and I am now down to 229 as of this morning! I want this not as a temp thing ever again, this is a permanent thing and if whom I'm in a relationship with feels intimidated then he needs not to even wate his time or mine! I'm once and for all making life changes...spring cleaning!!
Loved ur post by the way! Best of Luck! Kat

Ok I am in love with what you said there, you got through and learned to love yourself, you my dear are and will always be an inspiration to all the women who have come down on themselves for the worst reasons. No matter what you weigh my love, you are awesome.

katalak

I just want to say thank you. And...I mean that. Thank you. You just don't know....

Newfiedan

no my dear I sincerely wish to thank you for doing what was right, getting yourself on track, you are wise well beyond your years and I wish you all the success, if there is ever anything I can offer to help you along your path then do not hesitate to ask.

teasha43

Kat..so nice to hear of your transition to caring about yourself. If someone is to love us, they should be worthy. It seems this man did not have your best intentions at heart and would rather sabotage you than support you. Sometimes it is so difficult to see the difference. Sometimes, we, as people give until it hurts...us. I know I have been guilty of this myself...this is why I am here. I am trying to learn how to count myself as a priority. Def not as easy as ppl may think. It is a mental battle every day, not just a physical one. Congrats to you! You rock! Good luck in your YOUR future....xo

Mustangsally1000

Are you sure you aren't a therapist?? I really enjoyed your post, and it certainly gave me some things to think about. I'll likely be
discussing them with someone this evening. I've seen that inner warrior a few times, but it has been years. I think the last time, I was on the river, rowing in a race. I miss that. I need to find that again, before it's too late.
I like the stuff you write--you are helping me more than you know. Thank you!!

Mustangsally1000

Awesome Kat! Good for you. I'm thrilled for you, proud of you. You have become "empowered" and you have spread that
power to others. Keep it up, I have no doubt you will be right where you want to be, and in control of your life. Good Job!

Newfiedan

bump

Newfiedan

1 last bump for the peeps.

heniko

I enjoyed reading this too ... I think there are phases on getting fit ... and during the middle stage after seeing some results you get this inner warrior going .... I feel like I am at this stage ... very motivated and really ready to fight throu this process!

Good luck and work to everyone!