i reaallllyy need some advice !! :(

MistyMtnMan

This post has made me FURIOUS!! NO ONE should be FORCING you to do something you don't want to do, especially if it's unhealthy!!! If he really loves you, he will RESPECT you and your decision to eat right. There are no words how messed up I think this is. Why don't you make him drink a shot of motor oil every Friday and see if he likes it.

I know that's an extreme analogy BUT in reality, eating terrible food like that over time is no different. You will have heart problems, high blood pressure, possible become diabetic, or a LIST of other side effects of the crap food you are trying to rid yourself of.

I know I'm freakin out here a bit but you have every RIGHT to make better choices for yourself and not eat ANY bad food if you don't want to. He should be secure enough and mature enough to handle it. If he wants to eat that way, fine but DO NOT let him drag you down.

Your partner should be someone who builds you up with positivity, not negativity.

KGRAN002

honey, if hes getting his undies in a wad because you dont want to eat pizza, there are much deeeeeper issues than the pizza. I am much more aware of everything that goes in my mouth now too. if you are not obsessing about the weight issue you just need to have a talk with him, and NOT about pizza. i have always been a pretty free spirit, i would not ever be able to be under a mans watchful eye like that. Be careful that hes not trying to control other things in your life too. its pizza for heavens sake. besides i have a saying about food."pizza doesnt look good in a bathing suit!" lol i use it for all the bad foods i want but wont eat "cause none of it looks good in a bathing suit" good luck and i commend you for your getting healthy efforts

fteale

What everyone else has said, really. No one has a right to tell you what to eat. No one. People have a problem with others eating healthily because it makes them feel like a failure about their own food choices, and that they don't have the willpower to change.

I wouldn't eat even one slice of a Pizza Hut pizza.

mare91467

That was a fantastic answer. I couldn't have said it better myself......

flash53

Don't let him sabatoge your goals. He is an enabler He should respect what you are doing in trying to get healthy. We should not live to eat. My wife does the same thing by bringing sweets in the house and she knows I don't want them in here because I will eat them. There is nothing wrong with having a slice of pizza and maybe a salad. that is what most healthy people do. Chances are he might need to eat a little healthy and ask him to watch with you. Just say you are worried about him and I would like you to be healthy also. Dont talk to him in a way that it sounds like he has to or in a mother tone because he might resent you and not follow threw with it. You can make a pizza at home with a wheat crust, 2% cheese, low carb pizza sauce and a ton of veggies. for a healthy version so both of you can be happy. Good luck!!!

noexcuses1218

Compared to your boyfriend, you're being pretty rational about this, as far as I can see. And although you say you don't want to be one of those people who counts every calorie that passes through her mouth, you really are going to have to be one of those people until you get a handle on your portion sizes and the nutritional breakdown of your food. Consider it a class in nutrition, a learning process, and I'm sure that sooner or later you won't have to log everything you eat because you'll be at your maintenance point and you'll already know very well what you can and can't do.

Having said that, I agree with others who have said to go ahead and splurge once in a while - if you want. It doesn't mean you have to completely wreck your entire day - there are plenty of ways to indulge yourself without self-sabotaging, such as:

If you really want pizza, tell him to compromise and get you the thin crust pizza, then have tons of veggies on one side of it. Have one slice early in the evening, then save another slice for a later snack. The thin crust pizza's not nearly as bad as the pan pizza.

Also, if you're interested in splurging just to alleviate his fears, consider what you REALLY want to eat. For myself, I'm going to indulge myself a little because I want to and not to make my husband feel better about himself. Might have a gyro sandwich this weekend, but I'm sure I won't be able to eat the whole thing anyway, and I'll skip the fries. Fried shrimp? Well, sure, as long as I have a box ready to get the rest of the order off my plate the second I'm not hungry anymore and stick to half a baked potato. Pizza's pretty mundane for a splurge, all things considered. And of course, if you're not hungry for anything special, don't bother with it. Or make something delicious and healthy and just a little decadent - salmon with low-fat bearnaise sauce, crab cakes, etc.

But please don't eat things that are going to sidetrack you on your journey. What I hear is that the last ten pounds are the hardest, and I would hope that he would understand what you're trying to do. Can you give him numbers, like BMI, target weight, etc. that might bolster your position?

Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck.

HDurow1018

Either tell him to F off, and you can eat what you want when you want. Or go to the gym and give yourself the extra calories to indulge in the pizza. Remember this is your life, not his, and you are doing this for you, not him.

Like another response said you can get better options. Pizza hut is one of the worst as it is pan pizza with a ton of oil in the pan to keep it from sticking. Order from somewhere else, maybe a veggie pizza, and make sure it is not pan pizza. Many places place the pizza in the oven, not in a pan full of oil then in the oven.

I'm not sure if they have them where you are, but from looking around online when I crave pizza, Hungry Howies seems to be the lowest in calories. Other than that, like he said, stand your ground or include an extra workout to get rid of the extra calories. It makes it really hard to keep focused when someone you love isn't supporting you I'm sorry that he is doing this to you, but you have to remember that you are eating better for you and how you feel, not him. Have you sat down with him and talked to him about how you feel and that you are not starving yourself and trying to do things right?

jenbusick

I had the same problem with my husband when I first started eating right and exercising. I simply put it this way, If you want me to eat ________, then you will eat 6 cups of lettuce with sliced tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, pickles, fat-free dressing and grilled chicken. You have to eat every single bite and not complain once. If you complain you have to eat a second serving. I will sit here and eat this ________ without complaining to make you happy but my body will complain about it later and I will have to work harder to get rid of the calories that you made me consume. It worked. I also told him that if I ate _______ my sex drive would decrease and he wouldnt get any. If I eat healty my sex drive will increase and he will get some. Which way does he want it?

You could also try what my sister did. She said "My body is my temple. Healthy food in = happy person. Bad food in = crabby person. You want me crabby or happy?"

I hope this helps. Good luck.

I like this idea. If he gets to tell you what to eat, you get to tell him what to eat, too. Fair's fair. If he is a decent, reasonable human being down deep this ought to make him see how ridiculous he's being.

fteale

Pizza Express do a 500 cals pizza. Do you have one of those anywhere near you?

♥♥YoungMrs♥♥

Yea Id definitely tell my husband to **** Off..I dont know how people can be so insensitive?? I would never try to make someone I love eat garbage foods when I know that they are trying to lose weight..ughhh :explode:

ZebraHead

Tell him to take a flyin' F**K at a rollin' doughnut.

You don't need crap like that in your life.

P.S. I am an *kitten*.

dru_howard

I actually have had family gatherings/work events where I've had to eat pizza two or three times over the last couple weeks. However, I try to just eat one or two slices of thin crust veggie and ask for them to make the pizza with 1/2 the cheese and extra sauce plus the big salad before the pizza is a great idea too. Skip eating as much crust as you can and just work out a little longer those days. I personally think it's fine to eat the things I always did, just in a healthier way. I also make homemade pizzas using the thin 100 calorie sandwich rounds for crust. One of those with a little olive oil, fresh spinach, mushrooms, onions, garlic and a little grated parmesan cheese in the oven to bake for about 5 minutes and I always feel like I've got the better end of the pizza eating deal even when my husband has the "big boy pizza" as I call it. :happy: Good luck!!

AmandaR910

I wouldn't eat it at all personally. You're doing this for you, don't let him hinder your progress. My husband was doing that so I got him on board with it (not dieting, just working out) and it's really helped (though he's gone right now, military, which helps even more lol).

gpschob

He sounds like quite a catch

bouldert

invite friends over and they will eat your share and everytime he wants to do that send him with his friends and you go eat with ur girls and tell him when he wants to be supportive of your wishes then you will go eat with him but what you want

JennLifts

He sounds like quite a catch

Truth.

ukgirly01

Either tell him to F off, and you can eat what you want when you want. Or go to the gym and give yourself the extra calories to indulge in the pizza. Remember this is your life, not his, and you are doing this for you, not him.

I couldn't agree with this more. Show him how many calories are in the pizza and what your and his bmr is, if he wants a pizza go out to pizza express they do a pizza thats 500cals for the whole thing and it tastes better

JaneDeere1975

Either tell him to F off, and you can eat what you want when you want. Or go to the gym and give yourself the extra calories to indulge in the pizza. Remember this is your life, not his, and you are doing this for you, not him.

Like another response said you can get better options. Pizza hut is one of the worst as it is pan pizza with a ton of oil in the pan to keep it from sticking. Order from somewhere else, maybe a veggie pizza, and make sure it is not pan pizza. Many places place the pizza in the oven, not in a pan full of oil then in the oven.

I COMPLETELY agree! He can either deal with you eating one piece and not give you a bunch of crap about it...or you can earn extra by working out! Personally...I'd tell him if he loves me he'd back the F off...either way...you have my support no matter what you do! Good Luck!

cakeslovesbaking

If he cant see that a healther lifestyle will make life better for you both, you need to get a new fella xx

Atlantique

so ever since i started eating healthy and reducing my calorie intake to lose a few pounds.. my boyfriend hates that i wont go to fast food restraunts with him anymore and hes starting to think i have some kind of eating disorder.. which is not the case at all! I'm just not being a piggg like i used to be! Anyways.. He has been okay about it lately and not bugging me too much. but tonight (friday night) he wants to bring home a pizza from pizza hut and he wants me to eat not 1.. but 2 SLICES. I looked up the calories on the Pizza hut website and 1 slice of cheese pizza from a large size pizza is 360 cals. so two would be 720 calories!! I don't lknow that to doo:( i dont want him to think im one of those crazy girls who has to count every single thing she eats... I know if I dont eat them he is going to be dissapointed in me....... And just so you know it has to be a large cheese pizza. He wont get a veggie or anything. We have been together for 3 1/2 years and i used to pig out with him every weekend and eat whatever i wanted.. so i think thats why he is so upset by this. What should i do?? eat 720 calories in 2 slices of pizza that prob wont even fill me??

Forget the food part of this for a minute.

I see a bigger problem here, which is about your own autonomy and your boyfriend's controlling nature.

You are a full-grown adult. You are allowed to make your own decisions about your life. Your boyfriend is NOT allowed to make decisions FOR YOU.

Do you understand that? He's not your father. He's not your legal guardian and you are not mentally incompetent. Your boyfriend is completely and totally out of line.

I would be willing to be that he tries to control you in lots of other ways to, well beyond your eating habits. This is a real problem!

So, back to the food: eat whatever you want to eat. Forget what the BF says, as he is not in control of your life, your decisions and most certainly not your body. He is the one with a problem here, not you.

Dreamerlove

ughhhh...I say he is insecure about himself, and doesn't want you to lose weight. You picked up a new hobby and bettering yourself. I say tell him to get over himself and he can pick up his own pizza! When I first started my journey Dec 1st, 2010 I begged my husband to not bring anything in the house like that. It was hard for him, but if he wanted FF, he ate in the car. Now I am strong enough to just say no if its in front of me. To me this sounds like its holding you back from good results to great results. If he loves you, he will let you be healthy.

jltodd99

You can usually order a pizza 1/2 and 1/2. Let his half be cheese and your half be veggie.

mikeyrp

Without knowing both you or your partner better I'm not going to be as judgmental as some of the other posters - but I will say this: Good relationships are about communication. He is trying to tell you something by asking you to do this and my best guess is that its not about eating pizza.

It could be that he is feeling insecure about you getting 'out of his league'...

It could be that one of the things you had in common before was eating together an he misses it...

It could be simply that he is worried about your health...

So - ask him to explain like this:

When you (behavior) it makes me feel like (feeling) because (why it makes him feel this way)

eg

When you (refuse to eat with me) it makes me feel (lonely) because (we used to talk over dinner and now I feel like a pig eating in front of you).

Your job is to acknowledge how he feels and why - and that might be enough o resolve the issue - or find a way forward that works for both of you.

For example if you agree to eat a big side of salad with your pizza so you finish eating at the same time, or if you share with him your target weight and calories in MFP and reassure him you are eating enough (and that the MFP community will tell you off if you don't!)

suzycreamcheese

ask him why its so important to him that you eat unhealthily?

If youve got really into healthy eating in a big way, then i can sort of get where hes coming from. He might be worried youre developing an unhealthy attitude towards food and he might be missing the social aspect you used to share, of getting a pizza and having a good old pig out together

bmreed0920

I had the same problem with my husband when I first started eating right and exercising. I simply put it this way, If you want me to eat ________, then you will eat 6 cups of lettuce with sliced tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, pickles, fat-free dressing and grilled chicken. You have to eat every single bite and not complain once. If you complain you have to eat a second serving. I will sit here and eat this ________ without complaining to make you happy but my body will complain about it later and I will have to work harder to get rid of the calories that you made me consume. It worked. I also told him that if I ate _______ my sex drive would decrease and he wouldnt get any. If I eat healty my sex drive will increase and he will get some. Which way does he want it?

You could also try what my sister did. She said "My body is my temple. Healthy food in = happy person. Bad food in = crabby person. You want me crabby or happy?"

I hope this helps. Good luck.

I like this idea. If he gets to tell you what to eat, you get to tell him what to eat, too. Fair's fair. If he is a decent, reasonable human being down deep this ought to make him see how ridiculous he's being.

My husband saw how stupid he was being and quit saying what I needed to eat. He has started telling me to not forget my fruit and salad with dinner. Hes gotten used to the fact that I no longer want to be unhealthy and is now supportive and helping. It only took one giant salad, well two because he did complain once about the pickles, to get him to understand.

MinnieInMaine

I agree that you two need to talk about this because he's obviously upset about the change in your lives.

Any of us in relationships where the other isn't getting on the healthy bandwagon have been through this to some degree. However, your bf sounds like he's trying to control you by telling you to eat a certain amount. Does he know you're on this site tracking your food and that it tells you if you're not eating enough or too much? Maybe you could even show it to him so he can see for himself and who knows, maybe he'll become interested in joining you...
I didn't tell my DH about too much of the diet at first but as time went on, I decided I had to share as much with him as I could so he'd truly understand and it helped him to be on board and make some better choices himself.

Also, as someone else said, having a few slices of pizza every week isn't going to kill you or even hinder your weight loss that much. In fact, I've read/heard from several fitness/health sources that a cheat meal can actually help keep your metabolism revved. Just make good choices the rest of the week and get your exercise in and it'll all work out in the end.
Personally, pizza and wing night is the one thing I refuse to give up and it's my motivation for hitting the gym every week night!

JaneDeere1975

Without knowing both you or your partner better I'm not going to be as judgmental as some of the other posters - but I will say this: Good relationships are about communication. He is trying to tell you something by asking you to do this and my best guess is that its not about eating pizza.


You know what...he's right...I am usually not judgemental. I don't know either of you, so i do apologize. However, I think having a heart to heart with your b/f is the way to go. Tell him how it makes you feel, and that you want to be healthy, hopefully that will help...once again...Good Luck!

NotAllWhoWanderAreLost

if you WANT to eat a slice of pizza or even two, by all means, DO! Just figure a way to work it into your calorie allotment for the day. If you think you won't be filled up, try a broth-based soup (low sodium one!) and/or a side salad with a lite vinaigrette dressing or salsa instead of dressing in addition to one slice of pizza. I agree with the idea of letting your slice sit on a paper towel for a bit and to blot off excess oil. Pizza Hut uses far too much oil, IMO.

If you think your boyfriend HAS a legitimate reason to be concerned about your dietary habits (are you under 1200 NET frequently?), he may be going about things in a non-productive way, but try to see the underlying message of concern.

HOWEVER, if you feel that you are NOT having unhealthy dietary habits, his problem may be emotional on his end. He might miss your connection shared over food. He may just like Pizza Hut pizzas and misses out on companionship. He may just feel burned out on dieting-by-proxy. IF this is the case, try reassuring him that you are making healthy choices (give him a run-down on the MFP food diary and how you use it) and that you both stand to benefit from you taking care of your health. HE may not be ready to take this step with his own health and that may be making him feel bad... So many possibilities.

You could say ok to pizza nights every now & then if he promises to go do some fun outdoorsy activity with you over the weekend (bike ride, run, walk, hike, yard work, etc). Explain to him that occasional splurges are fine, but you need to balance them out with something that uses those extra calories and that you like spending fun time being active with him.

Now, IF you feel this is a CONTROL issue, or if you feel put down, under a microscope, walking on egg shells situation you need to reassess your relationship and if its healthy for you or keeping you in an unhealthy place. I hope its not that But always something to throw out there.

Getting to healthy is hard work and it takes a lot of support and love (and self-love!) to get there.

Whatever you decide, best of luck to you on your journey!

Luelf

I would head butt him personally. Jk, but seriously....

Liatush

bump