That's some GREAT "motivation"......

ecahill91

I need to vent. I have been going to the gym now for about two months religiously. I go with my friend. Said friend works late, and I even wait until they get out to go together. Some days I can't help it just to go after I get out of work, because sometimes I'm just tired. Now, we're both overweight. "Friend" is always poking and prodding themself saying how awful they look, how miserable they are, etc. I tell "friend" they are looking wonderful! I give them lots of support, and am always positive for them.

Recently, I've been dropping weight because of my strict dieting, exercising, and a new pole class I have enrolled in. I am doing this for ME. I have MY OWN goals and push MYSELF as hard as I can.

Lately, "friend" has been distant, pissy at me, and is always giving me an attitude. NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. Then, an hour later, I'm "their best friend, and they couldn't live without me, they take me for granted and they apologize, etc." Then, the next hour, they are mad again!!! My fiance thinks that "friend" may be jealous and mad at me because of my success. I understand being jealous. My mom and I always tried to lose weight together. She was ALWAYS successful, while I may or may not have lost a pound or two. But really??? MAD???Get this -- the other day "friend" says to me they think they are holding me back at the gym. Why - I ask. "Because you do all these classes, have all these set times and programs, and you're so strict." WTH!!! I didn't even start the ONE class I was going to start, and if anything, I go to the gym WITH her as much as possible. I go on my own machine while they do their own thing. If I'm going to push myself, I'm GOING TO PUSH MYSELF. Either hop on the bandwagon with me, or do your own thing!!!

Is it bad of me to think this way? Should I NOT care that they may or may not be jealous/upset with me? I give them advice here and there, but only in general conversation. I'm not trying to change them; only THEY can. Even last night, I was trying to have a conversation with them about their day, their new phone, etc. BARELY SPOKE TO ME. AT MY HOUSE

What should I do?! This isn't a first, either. Seriously, they're a grown adult. GROW UP.

Jentorres8814

Ill keep my reply short and sweet; At the end of the day the only person who should truly matter is you. I'm proud of you for sticking with it even when your "friend" could not keep up and it seems like he is trying to pull you down. Don't feed into the negative your " friend" is giving you..eventually he will come to terms with his own weight issues.

rebeccawible

:noway: well you said your doing it for yourself....screw them! :ohwell:

gail4721

You are a good friend. Congratulations on your success. It just sounds like your freind has hit a plateau or is going thru a way to sabatoge themself. Sounds like this friend thought the two of you would have the same weight loss and success or failure together and forgot that you are individuals and will have different results. You seem to be putting more effort into it and are reaping the benefits. your friend is discouraging themself and wants to take you down too. it's a phase they are going thru hopefully it will pass. ALL dieters go thru that when they dont see the results they want or if they are competitive. This friend probably thought they would have greater success and isnt. YOU are right about looking out for you! Your new life with your fiance...soon to be spouse is very important to you. Keep up the good work and encoraging words for your friend. IF for some reason it gets too overwhelming for you then you will have to make the decision to part ways for a while. good luck.

Raebug123

I think that you have every right to feel the way you do. Your "friend" maybe jealous because you both are going together and you see results and "friend" doesn't. Don't be surprised that as you drop more your "friend" becomes more distant. I know from experience that it is a horrible way to lose a friend and that person will always kinda be there but don't allow this negativity to hold you back. Keep reminding yourself this is for YOU!!! Good luck in your journey and I hope your "friend" changes the attitude.

Tzavush

Has your "friend" been seen by a professional, those swings in mood could be chemical related. (Bi-polar?) or even possibly personality disorder.

You should be proud of your own accomplisments. This "friend" sounds like she needs to find her own motivation from within and nothing you do until that has been resolved will chnage the attitude.

You are doing great and focus on your own goals. Its great to have "in person" support and that buddy to workout with, but if that person is negative all the time, it can have a detrimental affect on you as well.

Maybe have an honest chat with your "friend" and let her know how you feel?

ecahill91

Thanks so much guys My friend and I don't fight, persay....but we definitely don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things. If I do something she doesn't want to/like to/agree on or wishes she could do it but can't, it's my fault she's not having fun. She's the one who chose to have a second job. I go to the gym with her CONSTANTLY for HER when SHE can go. I can't keep feeling bad anymore! Especially with losing weight and being healthy. IT'S FOR ME! Even from last night into today...she's not talking to me, and posting depressing things on Facebook, that I know is about me. It's not the first time it's happened. It's driving me crazy!! My fiance and my friend's bf both told her to see a doctor, and they call her a B**** when she is (she is a lot...) to cool her jets, but she said she doesn't want to get on a "happy pill." I'm the only one that doesn't call her names or put her down, and yet she's the one who treats me like crap (attitudes, rolling the eyes, short one-answers, etc.)

I really honestly and truly don't and won't ever understand her. But I am NOT feeling bad this time.

Thanks for YOUR support guys. You guys are AWESOME!