Need Some Constructive Criticism!

PhoenixFire975
PhoenixFire975 Posts: 70
edited September 2024 in Chit-Chat
Ok, so I'm writing this poem. I'm not sure if it is good or not and I just started. Could ya'll give me some feedback to tell me how it sounds???

People are everywhere.
They come in so many types, styles, and varieties.
The ones we choose to trust and put our faith into, we label them as “friends”
Those are the ones that matter, forever.
Choose wisely though; because we can be misguided and mistreated by the ones we think love us so dearly.
They, the ones we care for, can rip out our hearts and leave us in the dust, then move on as if we no longer matter.
And those wounds…they will hurt worse than any other, because they came from the people we chose to call “friend”…

Replies

  • cdbjr2000
    cdbjr2000 Posts: 63 Member
    Who needs friends? Mark Twain once said, "the more I know people the more I love my dog".
  • spackham
    spackham Posts: 252 Member
    Friends change as we change or move and go through different phases in our lives. They will always be our friends but the relationship, availability, and interests can change. Placing the level of expectation of "friendship" you described places a big burned on that friend. I like friends who support me when they can but keep their own priorities in line (spouse, children, work, extended family) and allow me to do the same.
  • PhoenixFire975
    PhoenixFire975 Posts: 70
    Hahaha that's a nice quote. I'm sort of making this because I've been so hurt by these people I called friends. It was just going to be a personal thing, but I kind of like it so I'm going to finish it out.
  • PhoenixFire975
    PhoenixFire975 Posts: 70
    Friends change as we change or move and go through different phases in our lives. They will always be our friends but the relationship, availability, and interests can change. Placing the level of expectation of "friendship" you described places a big burned on that friend. I like friends who support me when they can but keep their own priorities in line (spouse, children, work, extended family) and allow me to do the same.
    hmmm...I didn't realize I was putting a burden on anyone. I'm not saying they can't keep their priorities straight, I'm just saying that friends are our closes allies and if they hurt you, it will last. Or something like that, I'm not really good at explaining things :P
  • cdbjr2000
    cdbjr2000 Posts: 63 Member
    I'm not a good judge of poetry. But you do make some strong points and writing can help clear your mind so go for it.
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