Getting myself out of a rut! PLEASE HELP :)

pickinikki

Here's my story! I quit smoking and it took me a year to pack on 17 pounds. I now want to rid of that extra weight but whenever I try and then give myself a cheat day after about 5 days or so of being REALLY good I relapse and I have to start over. I want to the lose the weight I just can't seem to stay on track long enough for it to effect my weight loss. I need any advice anyone can give me...I really need help! Why can't I stick to this and why do I just give in and quit? It's not that I don't think I deserve it because I know I do. I also find that on more stressful days is when I cheat then claim it as a cheat day. I think I've replaced stress smoking with stress eating. I also have a snacking problem at night :sad:

gettinfitmama

What are you denying yourself? Maybe your body is feeling that you are trying to give up too much with those first few days?
I try not to deny myself anything but instead eat items in moderation.
Can you give yourself a cheat meal instead of a whole day?
And plan it in advance.

pcteck2

Exercise, exercise, exercise. It can help with the cravings, suppress your appitite, and allow you to eat more.
Good luck!

eellis2000

also water water water it helps with the snacking and the cravings

gatorflyer

Hello!

Well, my first suggestion would be to delay your cheat day, since you said after 5 days or so you have a cheat day and relapse. Instead of giving yourself a cheat day, I would build some extra calories in (via extra calories burned), so you can have a smaller quantity of whatever it is you need to cheat with. The minute you tell yourself you can't have something, is the minute you crave it more. Then when you end up cheating, you probably overdue. Instead, I would propose watching portion sizes and replacing whatever you need to cheat with, with something a little healthier. It's not that you can't have a cheat day here and there, it just that what you're doing now isn't working, so why not try something else.

About the snacking and stress eating, again, try some healthy snacks, and maybe some gum for that stress eating time. One thing that has worked very well for me is eating slowly, allowing myself to feel full, and that usually keeps me for the rest of the night. Also, drink water when you get hungry and feel like snacking. It will also help keep you feeling full.

Finally, try exercising when you are having the cravings. That should also help!

Zaggytiddies

I don't know what the hell happened to me but I now enjoy / look forward to my workouts. I found I enjoy running. Find something you like and stick with it. Also, saying my mantra, '**** this fat ****.' while you're working out/ feel like you want to give in. It'll help I promise. Friend me if you like. I can be a great motivator!

randi50

I would wait at least 2 weeks for a "cheat day" and then I would make it a "cheat" meal. It took me several days to adapt

corbettite

Accountability is my greatest friend. When you tackle something by yourself it's always harder. If you have a friend to loose weight with it that might be just the thing you need to keep you on track. Sounds like you have the right stuff, just need someone to cheer you on and you can cheer them on too. It's a win, win.

jeninne

Sounds like a lot of good suggestions- I learned through this site that cheating isn't really cheating so long as it is within your accountable goals. I learned that once I had to document everything and got to see my choices, I chose to make better choices. Now when I want chocolate I eat it- but I choose 2 dark choc kisses and make sure I exercise a little more that day. You'll get it. Keep trying. Again, it's not cheating it's choice. Be happy to encourage you along the way- add me if you like

amysambora

Great advice from everyone on here! I think you need to remove the word 'cheating' from your vocabulary! That implies what you're doing is temporary, like you're only giving up 'bad' food while you're on this 'diet' - think about it. What happens when you get to your goal? Are you going to be on a diet for the rest of your life to maintain it? No. Just find better ways to include the foods you love, using methods like people have suggested. Be accountable. Log everything. If you go over your calories, burn it off with exercise! That's the only healthy, maintainable way to do this. Think of it as a long term lifestyle change, a new attitude. If you think of it in terms if being 'good' and 'bad', you won't last. It's too restricting. You'll end up beating yourself up every time you have a piece of chocolate (trust me, I've been there!). Tell yourself there are no good or bad foods, food is just food. Everything in moderation, and be accountable for what you eat!

This should help with your stress eating too. If you tell yourself you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want, it makes food less exciting and you won't feel like 'breaking the diet' every time you're stressed.

pickinikki

All of your ideas are wonderful! :flowerforyou: I do know that when I'm doing good I tend to tell myself I can't have anything junkie and then I cave and I binge. It makes sense to me to allow myself things in moderation I guess I just need to practice with my will power...which is really hard!

amysambora

It is hard if you're in that 'starving and bingeing' mindset, I was like that for a long time. You feel like you're doing the right thing by being good, but you forget the bigger picture - restriction is temporary. Inevitably you'll splurge. At least, that's how it was with me! It takes time but you will get there. The weight may not come off as quickly but it WILL come off for good! Add me as a friend if you need some extra support

EricJonrosh

All of your ideas are wonderful! :flowerforyou: I do know that when I'm doing good I tend to tell myself I can't have anything junkie and then I cave and I binge. It makes sense to me to allow myself things in moderation I guess I just need to practice with my will power...which is really hard!

You're doing right by sharing your feelings here! I agree with the other poster about exercise - it helps a lot of areas. I ate some awesome dark chocolate today (see diary) and it was 400 cals. Oops. I went for a short run and it wasn't so bad.

One thing that helps me is knowing it's not going to be easy. It's actually quite hard at times. Accept and commit to that. God knows I have my freak outs, big time.

LG61820

Congratulations on quitting smoking! I just had my two year anniversary of quitting and am quite proud of myself. I also just got off the 15-20 pounds I gained since then. Now I am working on the 20 I had let creep on in the years prior to quitting.

I am trying not to feel shame about my eating, not to feel "good" or "bad" about what I eat or how much I eat. Being ashamed and hiding it led me to weigh >200# many years ago. I also don't like the idea of a "cheat" day. Who are you cheating? Yourself? I eat what I want when I want it, but I use the same self control that got me off cigarettes to be more careful about what I want. I am earnestly trying to remove guilt and shame from the arena of food & exercise. I look at it as fuel. You don't overfill your car's fuel tank, why overfill your body?

If you had the mental toughness to quit smoking cold turkey you have the mental toughness to control your food intake and exercise. The whole thing is mental. Hang tough!

broadsword7

If you had the mental toughness to quit smoking cold turkey you have the mental toughness to control your food intake and exercise. The whole thing is mental. Hang tough!

I so agree about mental toughness being a part of this experience. And I know It's tough to tell the truth to yourself sometimes. Somebody once told me that the biggest lie we ever tell is the one we tell ourselves. It is great that you are here sharing and being open, and it proves you are NOT lying to yourself, which is most important. I started my own journey just a few weeks ago. Well, it was more like a "re-start" but this time I feel like I am finally on the right track. Use all the tools at your disposal including the food and exercise diary and this site. I plan my meals and my snacks now. I use the weekends to prepare food and then refrigerate or store what I need for the upcoming work week. Each morning I pack my lunch and my snacks for the entire day. Being able to track what I eat is HUGE. I also use the Android app on my smart phone because anything new I want to add to the diary I use the scanner on my phone if I cannot find it easily in the food database on the site. Reading the message boards has helped immensely also. As for your cheat day...if you are planning and thinking about it, giving focus to it, you will likely find that you never have to have a cheat day. You can let the days just keep on rolling and adjust on a day to day basis. Once you have established your goal, when you feel the craving coming on, focus on the goal. Think about all the benefits that achieving that goal will bring to your life. If you have to give in, pre-plan the giving in (account for it ahead of time in your food diary/calorie budget for the day)...and give in using a snack that is at least healthy for you. I have found that a few carrot sticks and some whole unsalted almonds hits the spot whenever that happens. Just remember...never give up. NEVER.

pickinikki

Thankx everyone...it's so nice to know that I'm not alone:)