Sick of Hearing It!

jill927

RANT!

So, I've been working on my weightloss/healthy living since March1. I've lost almost 35 lbs, and I want to keep going! The problem is, my friends and family are all asking, what's your end goal? I tell them I want to hit 155 (I'm currently hovering around 180). I don't think 155 is that low, I'm 5'7'' with a somewhat wider frame, but 155 is only a BMI of 24.3. I'd only be 4 lbs inside the "healthy" zone. Plus, I wear a 14ish dress size, and I would like to see a size 10?! I don't think that's unreasonable, do you? But all my friends/family are like, I think you look fine like you are now, though. You don't need to lose any more weight.

Or my favorite was my best friend, who lives 350 miles away during the summer, so she hasn't seen me in 2 1/2 months told me she thinks I'm developing an eating disorder!! :explode: NO, I do not starve myself. I eat a minimum of 1400 calories a day. I exercise 4-5 times a week. I'm not going crazy or anything. I've been losing an average of 9 lbs a month.

I'm getting so frustrated, because my goals really aren't unhealthy! They meet all the goals that health professionals tell you you should be meeting, but with absolutely NO support from friends/family it's hard for me to stay on a healthy track. I just wish they could support me.

jill927

RANT!

So, I've been working on my weightloss/healthy living since March1. I've lost almost 35 lbs, and I want to keep going! The problem is, my friends and family are all asking, what's your end goal? I tell them I want to hit 155 (I'm currently hovering around 180). I don't think 155 is that low, I'm 5'7'' with a somewhat wider frame, but 155 is only a BMI of 24.3. I'd only be 4 lbs inside the "healthy" zone. Plus, I wear a 14ish dress size, and I would like to see a size 10?! I don't think that's unreasonable, do you? But all my friends/family are like, I think you look fine like you are now, though. You don't need to lose any more weight.

Or my favorite was my best friend, who lives 350 miles away during the summer, so she hasn't seen me in 2 1/2 months told me she thinks I'm developing an eating disorder!! :explode: NO, I do not starve myself. I eat a minimum of 1400 calories a day. I exercise 4-5 times a week. I'm not going crazy or anything. I've been losing an average of 9 lbs a month.

I'm getting so frustrated, because my goals really aren't unhealthy! They meet all the goals that health professionals tell you you should be meeting, but with absolutely NO support from friends/family it's hard for me to stay on a healthy track. I just wish they could support me.

douganl

Maybe they are a little jealous????

Skittles6617

Jealosy does bad things to people......especially family and friends....keep going, you will be fine at a size 10!!!!

shkaki

your goals sound really good. a lot of times when friends and family say things like that they are probably doing it because they feel bad about themselves. they see you eating healthy, exercising, and looking better and better, and since they're not doing anything they feel an inner need to break you down or ridicule you. Just ignore their judgement, and if you're feeling healthy and happy then maybe you can be thier role model if they decide to live healthy!!

Fit2btied

My mom does that...people resist change and will sabotage your efforts! Don't let them bring you down, you have set a reasonable goal..I think Skittles may be right in suggesting jealousy as part of the problem!

TamTastic

Hey there!

I can definitely relate! For the most part, people are supportive and just impressed with my results and hard work.

Unfortunately there are always those that have to somehow belittle your efforts by making it seem you have an eating disorder or are taking it too far. I am not sure why that is. Why they need to make it seem as though it is anything but hard work and determination!

Also, it seems there are always that have to be a "Debbie Downer"....like I had a couple of aunts say to me "Ohh, you look so good...BUT, I got skinny only to get pregnant and fat again...better prepare!!!".

I mean, WHY would you say that to someone??? SIGH!

Well, just know you are doing a great job and have a ton of support here! YOU know you are doing this right and YOU know what your goals are. If people can't understand, then it's their problem.

Good luck hun!!
-Tam

BrenNew

Maybe they are a little jealous????

That's exactly what I'm thinking too! They're jealous, especially your best friend!
I'm in the same boat as you are. Heck, we're even the same height, and I'm trying for a goal of 148. So NO, your goal of 155 ISN'T unreasonable at all!
I guess in the long run, you're doing this for YOU, and you need to do what YOU think is best for you and your body, and the heck with what everyone else is telling you!
Congratulations on all the weight you've lost so far!

mholmes

RANT!

So, I've been working on my weightloss/healthy living since March1. I've lost almost 35 lbs, and I want to keep going! The problem is, my friends and family are all asking, what's your end goal? I tell them I want to hit 155 (I'm currently hovering around 180). I don't think 155 is that low, I'm 5'7'' with a somewhat wider frame, but 155 is only a BMI of 24.3. I'd only be 4 lbs inside the "healthy" zone. Plus, I wear a 14ish dress size, and I would like to see a size 10?! I don't think that's unreasonable, do you? But all my friends/family are like, I think you look fine like you are now, though. You don't need to lose any more weight.

Or my favorite was my best friend, who lives 350 miles away during the summer, so she hasn't seen me in 2 1/2 months told me she thinks I'm developing an eating disorder!! :explode: NO, I do not starve myself. I eat a minimum of 1400 calories a day. I exercise 4-5 times a week. I'm not going crazy or anything. I've been losing an average of 9 lbs a month.

I'm getting so frustrated, because my goals really aren't unhealthy! They meet all the goals that health professionals tell you you should be meeting, but with absolutely NO support from friends/family it's hard for me to stay on a healthy track. I just wish they could support me.

Um... I'm 5'7 and started at 185. I don't know how you carry your weight but quite frankly I (bold, capitolize, underline, and italicize the i ) feel disgusting and like I look disgusting. I want to be much healthier and at 5'7 and 185 I was well into the overweight range. I'm trying for 130 which I was several years ago and I was within a healthy weight range, I was able to be more active and I felt a lot better emotionally and physically.

pam0206

Don't you just love it!?

My hunch is that you're making them feel uncomfortable....like, gosh, maybe I should be watching what I eat or I should be working out more. If you really watch what you eat (like measuring your portions), you have an eating disorder. Try not to let them deter you. 35 pounds is awesome. It sounds like your goal is right on......

tashjs21

Don't listen to that. If you truly are doing this the healthy way then their "concern" is just misguided. It is sad that trying to get to a healthy weight seems so odd to people these days. I think your goal is very reasonable. Good for you and congratulations on your success so far!

olyjok

Keep on truckin!! You are doing great. Im In the same boat with my wife. She thinks I shouldn't spend money to work out . It would only cost me $15 a month. I ate five times more then that when I ate fast food. I think she is worried I might find someone else. It don't matter what people think. You have to be doing this for yourself. I know I am. I will also spend the money to work out. You will always have the support of this wonderful network. Your not unhealthy. I also wont eat what is bad. My family thinks I nuts for looking at the lables on everything. If you don't watch the lables you might eat 1000 cals in one sitting. So you go girl make them weep.


Thanks Josh Oly

jill927

Also, it seems there are always that have to be a "Debbie Downer"....like I had a couple of aunts say to me "Ohh, you look so good...BUT, I got skinny only to get pregnant and fat again...better prepare!!!".

Thanks guys, and Tami I totally know what you mean here! I told my dad I was changing my major to Dietetics, and he was like... what happens when you gain weight again? Can you be a fat dietician? I was PISSED!

ugh. I guess I really just have to ignore them and focus on myself. However, not being able to talk about my weight loss or my exercise plans or anything makes me FEEL like I have an eating disorder. It's like I have to make it a big secret. *sigh*

calatibo

I think the eating disorder one is a bit much, but i genuinely think that the neagitve type comments i sometimes her are just people concerned for my health that do not really know what a healthy weight is. I only ever hear it second hand from my mother though so that might be different. Being a guy i can confidently say that none of my friends have commented on any weight loss (despite dropping more than a stone and losing nearly 6 inches from my waist). And i only get questions about how i am doing it (and jealous looks when i say it is all exercise and nothing more) from work colleagues, which kind of like, they notice and realise it is not a quick answer starving thing.

I don't know, i would just explain to those that think what you are doing is unhealthy exactly what a healthy size is for you, maybe they would not be as concerend and look to their understanding of what really is healthy rather than normal.

mommared53

Just remember you do have your MFP pals to support you. You're losing the weight for yourself not for your friends and family. I looked at your pics and you do look great right now but you know where you want to be and I don't think that's unreasonable as long as you're continuing to lose weight in a healthy way, which you are. And knowing that your end weight is going to be at the high end of the healthy scale shows that you're a long way from having an eating disorder. I say keep up the good work and stick with it. You'll be in those size 10's before you know it and you'll look even more fabulous than you do right how. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Betty

spaul82478

I feel you. When people try to get you down because you change your eatting habits, want to do better for your body and decide that its not healthy to eat a double cheesebuger with bacon and fries with cheese sticks they start to feel a little can I say rude. I have had the same problem and its irritating. The problem is the ones who are saying this are friends family and ect. Some people can eat what they want and not gain a pound. I have struggled my whole life with my weight and when I finally decided to do something about it I get what you get...

I wish you the best of luck with this.. The only thing I can say is I find myself not being around these people, some got the hint and shut up others well, they still dont go out with me but what can you do.. remember THIS IS FOR YOU if its what YOU WANT than do it.... KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK :bigsmile:

Saluna

Oh don't I jsut know! Boyfriend says ; You look find fine no need to lose weight, blablabla. I just twisted my wording and said that I am changing my eating habits for health reasons and in no time the attitude change.
Maybe people say you look good because they don't want to hurt your feelings????
Oh well, tough hahaha
xxxx

ambertimmons21

i loved when my friends would all tell me how good I was doing and how proud of me they were, but now that I am smaller than they are I get comments like : you need to eat something" or "aren't you hungry?". It's b/c i'm not the "FAT" one anymore!!!!!LOL:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

briblue72

The only people that ever made comments about "you need to eat something" were my bosses at my old job - simply because they never saw me eat. Maybe the people who are saying those things to you are the ones who go out to junky restaurants all the time and hear you turn down invitations, etc. My friends have been very supportive, but I still have a ways to go before I'm "skinny". Actually, it looks like our goals are identical. I'm 5'6", started at 215, aiming for 145 - 155 and am currently 168. I've done it the healthy way and I eat everything I did before.

Who cares what negative people think? If you look good, fall between healthy ranges, and feel great in your own skin, that's all that matters.

The only thing I'm obsessing over are measuring cups! We're spending a week at the in-laws this week and I'm nervous I won't be able to measure portions like I'm used to. They haven't seen me since Christmas (47 lbs heavier), so I'm wicked excited to see their reactions!!

Good for you and keep up the good work!!

SGFlyinHi

You need to do what you feel is right for you. Only you know your body. Each of us is different & carry our weight differently. I already have people telling me I am getting too thin & I'm 175. :laugh:

Personally, I am 5'7", 175lb & size 12 right now. If I don't lose another pound I would be just fine with it. I am now trying to just change my body composition: Build the muscle & lose the fat. I am at 25% and would love to get down to 20%, and I do not want to get below 170. That's now my goal.

Good luck with your goals, and yes, we are all here for you.

SG :glasses:

FitJoani

I have a question, I may have missed it in here but is she heavy??? Cause if she is, she may have a fear and a comfort in her overwtness and does have jealousy. Thats mainly cause she WANTS to do well like you are now. I have the same prob with a friend and sadly as much as I thought we were gonna be eatin cheesecake in florida to solve probs ala golden girls it just isnt in our cards, but maybe you should talk to her and tell her how you feel

msarro

I'd say your family and friends are just worried because the person they know and love is changing, enough that they're noticing the changes. Anytime someone changes, its natural to get a little concerned - even if its for the better. I'd take it as them trying to re-assure you that they accept you as you are. As for the one who was worried about the eating disorder, same thing. She's worried for your safety - calmly explain that you appreciate her caring but you're doing it safely, using established medical guidelines.

Don't get upset with people because they care - it means you have some good people around you

I'd be much more worried if they didn't care!