Eating disorder? help PLEASE

sarahtiano

Hi everyone,
I am really embarrassed to be posting this, but I really have no idea what to do. I feel stupid for having to write this, but whatever... I started my weight loss journey last fall and have been completely up and down. Throughout the process I have become really obsessed with calorie counting, exercising, fasting, detoxing, bingeing, and purging. I don't think I have an "eating disorder" but I don't know what it is. Normal people don't throw up their food or feel guilty for eating two helpings of lettuce.. and that's what I'm dealing with. I don't want to do anything bad to my body, and everything is so convoluted in my mind that I don't know what's healthy or not anymore. I need to find a balance, something that I have ALWAYS struggled with, in all aspects of my life. I just don't really know what to do anymore. I can't afford to see a nutritionist or dietician or psychologist or anything and am completely on my own for this one. I appreciate any suggestions as to what I can do to stop this..
thanks,
sarah

believetoachieve

You're very beautiful, with a gorgeous body! That being said, it sounds like it is some type of eating disorder perhaps. Check to see if you can find a community group that helps with this sort of thing, or any way to get a subsidy to help pay for a doctor. Definitely avoid many of the anorexia websites - often they're triggering and there are some "pro" eating disorder opinions there. Try some self-help books from the library maybe, or read on the internet. Good luck! If you need anything, message me!

hjollyrn

Thanks for being brave and sharing your story. However, I'm going to be totally honest. There's nothing wrong with being a little obsessed with counting calories, but the bingeing and purging is not good! This IS considered an eating disorder! You need to get help! I looked at your pic and you don't look healthy! Please, talk to someone professional! If you don't get help now it will continue to spiral downward. Please please get help!

acobrien5

I'm in musical theatre... and in the performing world there is CONSTANT pressure to lose weight. I have been surrounded by many girls and guys fighting their own bodies through eating disorders. I have had an eating disorder before.. it becomes a competition with yourself and is an awful awful thing to deal with. You need to find it in your heart to allow yourself to do those things that feel bad.. like eating a small meal.. or having a treat every so often. It's an addiction. I'm sorry to say that it never entirely fades - but there are things you can do to cope with that voice inside ya. Coming out and asking for help is a really really great thing to do!! Add me if you ever want to talk!

HelenTheKitchen

You need to talk to someone you trust who can help you get the help you need. This is a very serious issue that's going on in your life right now and kudos for understanding that, but please PLEASE talk to someone. There are free support groups, clinics, hotlines.

http://achancetoheal.org/support.html?gclid=CLilpJjr7acCFYEUKgod8XLScg

All of my love and support is with you right now. Please stay healthy.

jules0516

I have no advice as I have no personal experience with this, but I will tell you- you are very beautiful and from the looks of the pics, I don't see any needed weight loss.. Good Luck!

believetoachieve

I looked at your pic and you don't look healthy! Please, talk to someone professional! If you don't get help now it will continue to spiral downward. Please please get help!

At her height and weight, she is in the "healthy" weight range. Her body looks great - it is toned and muscular.

123456654321

Throughout the process I have become really obsessed with calorie counting, exercising, fasting, detoxing, bingeing, and purging.

This is an eating disorder. Please go seek help from a professional asap before it becomes a bigger issue. Please don't trust that anyone here on this forum is qualified enough to help you.

HelenTheKitchen

Please don't trust that anyone here on this forum is qualified enough to help you.

This is absolutely 100% true. We all want to see you safe and healthy, but none of us can diagnose or give you the help that you really need.

TheNewLK

becoming obsessed with counting calories is one thing but purging is a complete other....

Babygirl....you do need to get help!! Before its too late....You look amazing now but don't you want a healthy inside to go along with the goregous body your Rockin????

PMs welcome if you need to chat.....(((hugs))) Please talk to someone tho

believetoachieve

Throughout the process I have become really obsessed with calorie counting, exercising, fasting, detoxing, bingeing, and purging.

This is an eating disorder. Please go seek help from a professional asap before it becomes a bigger issue. Please don't trust that anyone here on this forum is qualified enough to help you.

She wants to - her post said that she can't afford to do so. She clearly doesn't want this to become worse, but I don't think she has too many options unless she can find free or discount healthcare! :frown:

anubis609

Throughout the process I have become really obsessed with calorie counting, exercising, fasting, detoxing, bingeing, and purging.

This is an eating disorder. Please go seek help from a professional asap before it becomes a bigger issue. Please don't trust that anyone here on this forum is qualified enough to help you.

This. Use any available resources to help yourself. Search for consultation regarding your lifestyle. You are not the only one in this type of situation. This is a classic case of an eating disorder.

SweetTooth68

Perhaps you could go to a meeting / support group? They are free and you could probably find more free resources available in your area to help you. Here is one I just found doing a google search, perhaps it's a start?
http://www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org/meetings.html

123456654321

She wants to - her post said that she can't afford to do so. She clearly doesn't want this to become worse, but I don't think she has too many options unless she can find free or discount healthcare! :frown:

She does have options. There are places out there for people who cannot afford medical care and do not have insurance. There are also many help lines for people with eating disorders, they should be able to give you information to find help in your area.

@believetoachive: This is a SERIOUS issue. Unless you are a trained professional, giving her ANY advice (beyond possible resources to where she can get real professional help) is just idiotic and irresponsible.

***I have no idea how I double posted all that.

cassiopeia2713

Eating disorders are never an easy thing to deal with. It certainly sounds like you have one. You may feel that you do not have the money for a therapist now, but if you do not seek professional help the costs could be much greater down the line. The effects of bingeing and purging on the body are dangerous over time and the care required to recover is much higher in cost than a therapist. Many clinics or individual doctors will offer a "sliding scale." They will look at your income and try to find a workable price.

Eating disorders are usually paired with depression and/or other psychiatric disorders. Nutritionists are great, but can't help with the depression, etc...

Never think that there isn't help out there. You just have to be ready and willing to find it. Try calling different clinics in your area and ask about sliding scale fees for therapy. Therapy also can open doors to support groups. I wouldn't recommend online because these groups often lack professional input.

Good luck and I hope you find affordable help.

reneecochran

I at one time was exactly where you are at right now. I was bulimic. I purged, and purged, and then made myself throw it up. I did this on a daily basis but when I was stressed I did it more. I hid it well too until one day my husband caught me. He told my dad and stood beside me while I sought help. Although we are divorced now I will never forget him doing that for me. If you can't afford a psychiatrist then I suggest talking to a preacher or just someone you can trust. There are many sources out there that are either free or income based. Try your local MHMR. If they can't help you they can direct you to a place that can. As far as nutrition, you can find that online or with friend here on MFP. That's what we are all here for. Please for your sake get some help. It has been years since I stopped but I still struggle on a daily basis. Especially now that I have put on a lot of extra weight. I am so blessed t have my family, friends, and God to see me through it. I did it and I know you can too!

PinkAndSparkle

You sound EXACTLY like me 5 years ago. I lost weight the healthy way, and then continued restricting until I was eating lettuce and throwing it back up immediately. You will never admit to having an "eating disorder" until you realize this is unhealthy years later.

Seek a woman's health clinic in your area, I am sure they can recommend either free or pro-rated treatment. It is essential to find help immediately. Be prepared for this to be a lifelong journey -- as hard as that is to hear, it's even harder to say. I have made peace with the fact that I will never be "cured" of my eating disorder, but rather be in "recovery" forever.

I hope you find this helpful, I am more than happy to PM with you if you need any help/support/just want to chat. You can do this, believe in yourself!! You are beautiful!

nomex

talk to your doctor. It will be good for him to be aware of your situation. He will also be able to direct you to some free or low cost therapeutic resources. Eating disorders are often based in anxiety. They also sometimes "kick in" when you are reducing calories and exercising ALOT. If you can find some non-exercise, non-food ways to relax (like a book or a bathor a very SLOW walk outside), that might be a good first step. Forget the weight loss journey for awhile (I know you don't want to hear this). You have made GREAT progress by becoming worried about it yourself and also by sharing it on here. It isn't the purging and the calorie counting I am worried about. I am worried about all the nasty things that you are saying to yourself that causes you to purge or exercise incessently..... Now, please share this information with your doctor. he may be able to prescribe an anti-anxiety medication that can get you in a better mindset to get healthier all around. Maybe I am naive, but in Canada, when a patient doesn't have money for medication, the docs sometimes give samples. It couldn't hurt to ask!

Ideally, eating disorders are best treated with a multi-disciplinary team of doctor, psychiatrist, nutritionist and psychologist. If you can find a free clinic with this approach. You will be in good hands. Good luck! you are already on your road to recovery. But it is a long one. Take care.
I hope no one snaps at me for providing some advice. I am a trained professional.

123456654321

talk to your doctor. It will be good for him to be aware of your situation. He will also be able to direct you to some free or low cost therapeutic resources. Eating disorders are often based in anxiety. They also sometimes "kick in" when you are reducing calories and exercising ALOT. If you can find some non-exercise, non-food ways to relax (like a book or a bathor a very SLOW walk outside), that might be a good first step. Forget the weight loss journey for awhile (I know you don't want to hear this). You have made GREAT progress by becoming worried about it yourself and also by sharing it on here. It isn't the purging and the calorie counting I am worried about. I am worried about all the nasty things that you are saying to yourself that causes you to purge or exercise incessently..... Now, please share this information with your doctor. he may be able to prescribe an anti-anxiety medication that can get you in a better mindset to get healthier all around. Maybe I am naive, but in Canada, when a patient doesn't have money for medication, the docs sometimes give samples. It couldn't hurt to ask!

Ideally, eating disorders are best treated with a multi-disciplinary team of doctor, psychiatrist, nutritionist and psychologist. If you can find a free clinic with this approach. You will be in good hands. Good luck! you are already on your road to recovery. But it is a long one. Take care.
I hope no one snaps at me for providing some advice. I am a trained professional.

No, I was hoping someone who was a trained professional would come on and tell her how important it was that she seek help in any way she can. Thank you.

believetoachieve

She wants to - her post said that she can't afford to do so. She clearly doesn't want this to become worse, but I don't think she has too many options unless she can find free or discount healthcare! :frown:

@believetoachive: This is a SERIOUS issue. Unless you are a trained professional, giving her ANY advice (beyond possible resources to where she can get real professional help) is just idiotic and irresponsible.

Woahh woah, calm down there. I suggested exactly that to her, along with some other ideas for helping her addictive personality, such as self-help books or community group meetings. No need to be name-calling, that's inappropriate.

nomex

@ numbers girl... I hope I didn't offend. You made a good point, but I don't think believetoachieve meant any harm.
Beautiful profile pic by the way!

Also, I just realized how sexist I was being. I used him/ he for doctor throughout. I do that all the time, and it makes ME mad that I do it. I work with a bunch of male doctors, so I get used to using that terminology I guess.

123456654321

She wants to - her post said that she can't afford to do so. She clearly doesn't want this to become worse, but I don't think she has too many options unless she can find free or discount healthcare! :frown:

@believetoachive: This is a SERIOUS issue. Unless you are a trained professional, giving her ANY advice (beyond possible resources to where she can get real professional help) is just idiotic and irresponsible.

Woahh woah, calm down there. I suggested exactly that to her, along with some other ideas for helping her addictive personality, such as self-help books or community group meetings. No need to be name-calling, that's inappropriate.

You overact. I'm totally calm.

I just disagree that she doesn't have other choices besides this forum. I think this could quite possibly be the worst place for someone like her to get information. Also, I'm not calling you names. I'm saying ANYONE that isn't very familiar with ED's is irresponsible to say they can help her.

123456654321

@ numbers girl... I hope I didn't offend. You made a good point, but I don't think believetoachieve meant any harm.
Beautiful profile pic by the way!

Thanks! and I realize she didn't mean any harm, but people can do harm without that being their intention.

believetoachieve

She wants to - her post said that she can't afford to do so. She clearly doesn't want this to become worse, but I don't think she has too many options unless she can find free or discount healthcare! :frown:

@believetoachive: This is a SERIOUS issue. Unless you are a trained professional, giving her ANY advice (beyond possible resources to where she can get real professional help) is just idiotic and irresponsible.

Woahh woah, calm down there. I suggested exactly that to her, along with some other ideas for helping her addictive personality, such as self-help books or community group meetings. No need to be name-calling, that's inappropriate.

You overact. I'm totally calm.

I just disagree that she doesn't have other choices besides this forum. I think this could quite possibly be the worst place for someone like her to get information. Also, I'm not calling you names. I'm saying ANYONE that isn't very familiar with ED's is irresponsible to say they can help her.

Who said this forum is the only place for her to get help? There's no need to be calling ANYONE "idiotic" - everyone is trying to help this girl and you should respect that.

And fyi, there's no overreacting, lol. But it comes off as snippy, so I figured I'd throw it out there. There isn't a need to be calling anyone names or such. Just help others and be nice, and they'll return the favour