other people cooking for you

_LA_

usually I do all the cooking, but today my husband wanted to be helpful.

so i gave him a recipe from my weight management plan book for breakfast. after I ate it, when I was putting it in the log, I find out that he used twice the amount of cheese, added a half Tablespoon of olive oil, and use a whole egg where I'd asked for an egg white. This made me high fat for the day, so I specifically chose a very low fat lunch.

only he kicked me out of the kitchen while I was trying to prepare it, because he kept insisting he had to come in and get this and that stuff for the kids, so finally he just said he'd make the lunch. it was a veggie cutlet and pasta. he brings it to me and when I eat it I find what looks like oil in the bottom of the bowl. I ask him about it...it's more olive oil, another half tablespoon!!

So now I'm really screwed on fat for the day, so I ask him to see if we have any lettuce - not to make me a salad, but see if we have any lettuce. Because I'm hungry and I can't have any more fat calories for lunch without being screwed for dinner. He brings me a whole entire salad, and I ask him specifically what's in it. NO oil, just lettuce, pears, tomato, cinnamon. I see some sunflower seeds as well. So I eat it, and when I am entering it in the log he's telling me the amounts and such and he tells me the seeds were a quarter cup of this planters trail mix we have. I said - a what?? He says, a quarter-cup. OMFG!! That stuff is fattening to start with, he gave me way more than even a full serving size?? Now I'm 8 g of fat OVER for the day and NO DINNER OR AFTERNOON SNACKS OR ANYTHING YET!!

I know he thought he was being helpful but I am SO pissed off that I ate all this goddamned fat that was NOT in my meal plan AT ALL. HOW do I get him to stop HELPING?!! UGH!!! And how much f#$#&$ excersize do I have to do this afternoon to get rid of that 8g fat overage (and then WTF do I have for dinner tonight when I can have NO FAT WHATSOEVER?? dont' tell me to just chalk up the day as a fail because I went WAY over on fat yesterday for other reasons and canNOT do so again today.

ShellyMacchi

healthy fats like olive oil and nut oils, i basically ignore on my food diary. Not like you were slathering toast with margarine or having french fries or something *S*

if the fat you have with supper is healthy fat too... i truly would not worry at all. *S*

the good thing is you are aware of it, and could count it at least *S* so can plan supper without thinking you had tons of fats you could use. but a lil more (healthy fat) is not going to hurt *imho*

jenilla1

Healthy fats are good for your heart in reasonable doses, but they still add up big time in the calorie count if you go over. Show him your food diary so he can see what adding all those extras does to your diet. He probably thinks a little here and there is harmless. He needs to visualize the impact of these changes. Then, when he does it right, praise the heck out of him! My husband was amazed when he saw the numbers adding up from all the little things...He totally gets it now.

_LA_

his attitude is - and I quote from what he was yelling at me a few minutes ago - "We can't live like this ! counting every fat!"

SO nice to have support, you know?

Don't think for a second he's thin either. He's not only fat (like me) but has diabetes, heart disease (first heart attack was at 35), a CPAP for severe sleep apnea (which he never uses), asthma and a few other issues..I am thank GOD healthy so far and I am NOT staying fat long enough to get where he is. FML if he doesn't want to join me, I'm not forcing him, but he canNOT take this away from me!!! This is my health and my life!

_LA_

Seriously, how many calories do I have to burn to be 'given' an extra 8 fat grams for the day??

yoghurtand

8g of fat (72cals) is not a lot at all - especially when it's good fats that were in there Obviously he meant well, but perhaps you need to emphasise how important it is for you that you stick to your goals. If he can't accept that, then maybe don't allow him to make stuff for you? I don't know, that is such a hard situation to be in Things like olive oil in food are the reasons why I cannot eat food in my house I haven't prepared or seen prepared.

Also, lean meat and things like pulses and wheats and pasta, etc are good for when you have no fat left!

yoghurtand

Also, seeing your other question about the exercise - using my diary, I had to do around 250 cals of exercise to get 8g of fat. My ratio of carb:fat:protein is 45:30:25.

feliciapeters

DONT stress over it. You went off I DAY
Its no biggie, back on track tomorrow

Painten

Sometimes men just like to help out. I've spent years moaning at mine to do more round the house. When he cooks i just let him get on with it. I just ask him to make a rough note of what he's putting in it so i can log it. Mine hates measuring and counting and tbh i do too. Just work a bit harder tomorrow to burn some off.