OT-MIL rant

quinnybear

sorry its sort of long...
so my hubby and i went to reno and eloped last year, but we are now planning a big wedding for this october. his mom (my mil) worked for a florist for years and is really good at design so she is doing our decorations and flowers. well she had this really tall skinny vases she wants to use on the tables with a floral arrangement on the top. i don't really care for them, not my style, but she already had them and the room is really tall so we need tall centerpieces so the tables dont just disappear into the huge room. so i agreed to those. then we were talking about the head table and i said i really want square vases for the bridesmaid bouquets, square votives and larger square candle holders to sit in front of my hubby and i. i really like the clean, modern look of square vases! so she shows up at my house yesterday and she had bought 8 vases/candle holders. round ones. very 80's style, older style round ones. so i then ask her if we can still use square vases because i really want square and she tells me you cant mix square and round and she cant return these vases because she already took all the price tags off.

wth?!?!

should i put my foot down and say, sorry i dont like these or just bite my tongue and let her design "her day?"

quinnybear

sorry its sort of long...
so my hubby and i went to reno and eloped last year, but we are now planning a big wedding for this october. his mom (my mil) worked for a florist for years and is really good at design so she is doing our decorations and flowers. well she had this really tall skinny vases she wants to use on the tables with a floral arrangement on the top. i don't really care for them, not my style, but she already had them and the room is really tall so we need tall centerpieces so the tables dont just disappear into the huge room. so i agreed to those. then we were talking about the head table and i said i really want square vases for the bridesmaid bouquets, square votives and larger square candle holders to sit in front of my hubby and i. i really like the clean, modern look of square vases! so she shows up at my house yesterday and she had bought 8 vases/candle holders. round ones. very 80's style, older style round ones. so i then ask her if we can still use square vases because i really want square and she tells me you cant mix square and round and she cant return these vases because she already took all the price tags off.

wth?!?!

should i put my foot down and say, sorry i dont like these or just bite my tongue and let her design "her day?"

lina1131

This is the reason I do not mix family with business. Something always happens and it's weird to have to confront family, especially when it's your MIL.

Go out, buy the vases you like and take them to her and tell her that these are the vases you want to use at the table.

age1389

Oh defiantly!! It's YOUR wedding. If you want sqaure then get the square ones. You only do this once in your life do it the way you want.


-Adrienne

PedalHound

Nip this one in the BUD girl. As someone who has some serious MIL issues, you need to politely assert yourself in this matter or you risk setting up a pattern that will be a LOT harder to break down the line. ie: if you guys have children one day it will make you want to pull your hair out if she's dismissive and disrespectful in the same way about the way YOU TWO choose to parent. Tell her you really appreciate all she's doing and are really happy with the centre pieces but that you have a particular vision in mind for the head table and you'll happily take care of getting the vases you want. I don't think it would be too bold to (politely) say that collaborating is a nice way to bring two families together but you want elements of this day to fit YOU and your ideas since you are only going to have one wedding. That last "one wedding" part will probably soften everything for you since she'll get a little dose of feeling like her son is with a woman who really appreciates him.

Good luck! In-law issues can be the hardest ever.

Quenofcrazzy

Thank you God for seeing to it I didn't have in-laws!...especially the mother!

quinnybear

pedalhound- we've been together 6.5 years and this behavior is nothing new! lol. but i totally understand the kids thing, she is like that with our nephew (her 1st grandchild) and it worries me! i tell my hubby that when we have kids i will not let her run the show.