Need advice about something other than weight loss

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  • Bmorrow
    Bmorrow Posts: 169
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    My daughter went through this about a year ago. Very sad! I too have miscarriaged and I certainly feel your heartbreak. People are just trying to console you...they mean well, even though words just don't seem to do the trick. There is a new book that is new on the market...Heaven Is For Real. This book could be very comforting for you to read. So sorry you are going through this...and please know my prayers are with you. BTW, I have 5 children.
  • RitaPrior
    RitaPrior Posts: 39 Member
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    When you dont understand the will of God, trust His heart.
  • partcho
    partcho Posts: 225
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    I read this post last night, and really wanted to say something, but didn't. I just didn't know what to say but today realized I should have said something!

    I'm not a mom and I don't feel like I can really say anything that makes sense. I know you are going through a very difficult time, but I also know that you will get through it because that's what naturally happens over time. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself, emotionally, physically, and mentally. And you need to figure out how to do that, whether it's going on a short trip, getting a spa treatment, whatever it is that makes you for at least some time get away from the day to day that makes you think only about the now. You need to hit refresh somehow. I'm really sorry for what you are going through and I am wishing you only the best in the future!
  • amfmmama
    amfmmama Posts: 1,420 Member
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    I know exactly what you are going through. I was pregnant and they were not able to find the heart beat. The head of radiology at a pretty prestigious hospital told me that there was a "mass of cells". He told me that although it started as a pregnancy, it never fully developed. I am sure that this man is smart, but the delivery of the information was cold and not the least bit comforting. I was told that I should make an appointment with my OB and they would schedule a D/C. I went to the appointment. He said he was not convinced that the radiologist was right. He sent me for bloodwork and my numbers were not dropping. The next few days were awful. Blood tests and waiting. Trying not to get my hopes up. Eventually the numbers were dropping and the dr. concluded that I was in fact miscarrying. I assumed that they would schedule the D/C and they did not. The dr. wanted my body to take care of it "naturally" I went on to bleed/hemmorhage for the next 3 months. (I used to carry extra clothes with me everywhere I went) Finally, a different dr. in the practice gave me medication. It was too late for a D/C at this point. It was awful. I had constant reminders. And the longer that my body was trying to recover, the longer I had to wait to become pregnant again. As hard as the whole idea of a D/C is, it is the best thing for you to do. I still regret not going to someone else sooner.

    Your sorrow is valid. "you'll have another one" is not comforting. I don't care if you are pregnant for 3 weeks or 5 months. The minute a woman reads that test she is a mother. You are already imagining what the nursery looks like, thinking of names, talking to the baby. Take all the support you can get, and take care of yourself.

    On a more positive note... After that, I had 2 healthy pregnancys and 2 healthy boys.

    One more thing. When you do get pregnant again, make sure you find a supportive Dr. who will understand your need to be reassured that everything is ok during your pregnancy. I swtiched my dr. and it made all the difference in the world.
  • maz123
    maz123 Posts: 63
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    i am so sorry to hear what you are going through and cant imagine what that feels like. my thoughts are with you and your husband at this time. mind yourself xx
  • twogoots
    twogoots Posts: 96 Member
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    I am so sorry for your loss. I know that this is so hard to get through. I have been there and done that. I want to give you hope that once you allow yourself time to heal (if it be a month or two or more) and feel physically ready, the doc will support you in trying again. Let yourself and partner grieve the loss of this baby. Do you have any support groups in your town for losses? I can tell you that those saved my sanity over the years I went through infertility and miscarriages! Yes, you know you can get pregnant, but you will have this stigma associated with pregnancy in the future. Don't let it take you down, try and keep faith that it will happen and hopefully soon.

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