To all those people who get upset about being told your wron

LorinaLynn

At the risk of sounding even more stupid and nitpicky...

I just see sooooo many people who berate themselves for their food choices. They beat themselves up if they have a cookie or go over their calories by 5. Someone like that already feels like poop. Someone telling them, "You're doing it wrong!" isn't going to help. It's going to make them feel like a failure. And likely end up quitting, because it's impossible for most of us to eat perfect all the time.

I think at least a solid 50% of success in all this is mental. Your psyche is more likely to screw you up, by quitting when you think you screwed up, than anything you put in your mouth.

One of my friends was recently in a slump. She binged for a few days, felt terrible, and was about to quit. But her friends encouraged her to keep going, and she came back to lose 4# in one week! That binge was exactly what her body needed to get back on track, but her psyche was telling her she was a failure.

Like I said... if someone asks about their food choices, if someone complains that things aren't working for them... that's a whole different story.

I'm more of a positive reinforcement kind of person. It worked for training my dog. It works for training myself. Reward good behaviors. And as far as supporting others, I'd rather encourage them, and lead by example, than preach.

kelligonzales

At the risk of sounding even more stupid and nitpicky...

I just see sooooo many people who berate themselves for their food choices. They beat themselves up if they have a cookie or go over their calories by 5. Someone like that already feels like poop. Someone telling them, "You're doing it wrong!" isn't going to help. It's going to make them feel like a failure. And likely end up quitting, because it's impossible for most of us to eat perfect all the time.

I think at least a solid 50% of success in all this is mental. Your psyche is more likely to screw you up, by quitting when you think you screwed up, than anything you put in your mouth.

One of my friends was recently in a slump. She binged for a few days, felt terrible, and was about to quit. But her friends encouraged her to keep going, and she came back to lose 4# in one week! That binge was exactly what her body needed to get back on track, but her psyche was telling her she was a failure.

Like I said... if someone asks about their food choices, if someone complains that things aren't working for them... that's a whole different story.

I'm more of a positive reinforcement kind of person. It worked for training my dog. It works for training myself. Reward good behaviors. And as far as supporting others, I'd rather encourage them, and lead by example, than preach.

Ha ha ha well even though i see your point, I don't agree with all the way. We aren't dogs but people and comparing the two is silly. I understand we all make bad choices I'm not saying we don't i'm not saying don't live life and such.

What I'm merley saying is that suggestions shouldn't be something to get your panties in a bunch about. You diary is open and if I'm your friend and I see your eating processed foods up the ying yang i'm going to suggest that you might find that it helps in you ultimate quest for your GW if you cut back. Like I said you can focus on the extreme and use that as the only point for not seeing a different point of view. I welcome yours and understand exactly what your saying.

Coming from someone who is by far not perfect and coming off my own slump/binge I find rediculous that people take suggestions so serious... It's apparent what you were doing before wasn't working so why not be a big enough person to look at them constructively and use the ones you find helpful and maybe modify the ones you don't. It's a learning growing process.

hotpickles

I definitely have mixed feelings about this.

In one regard, I can see someone offering support if there's a poster that mentions they can't lose any weight, but maybe takes in too much sodium or something like that. Sometimes people that are newer to fitness and nutrition don't know that too much sodium causes water retention. There's a ton of other things that they might not know about, might be frustrated with the lack of weight loss, and another member might be able to give them some advice.

I'm very much anti-diet, so when I choose to enter foods into it, there's going to be white bread, cookies, potato chips, beer, etc. I do not want to be told I'm wrong, because really, how am I wrong? I'm not trying to avoid any foods, I'm not trying to eat clean, and I'm certainly not complaining about my lack of weight loss. I'm doing what is RIGHT for me. I've tried all kinds of diets and lifestyle changes, but what it really comes down to is listening to my body. I do love a wide variety of foods, from fresh salads and lean meats right on down to the cheesecake.

Like I said, I completely understand that some people are following stricter eating plans, and I respect that totally. We all need to do what works for us. I found out that I just binged if I restricted myself too much, so having the nice balance works well for me

So I guess I wouldn't get upset if someone saw what I put in my diary and commented on it, but that person probably doesn't know me, and doesn't know that I do not restrict foods of any kind (except coconut, which I absolutely loathe). I would prefer if instead of saying what I was doing was wrong they asked me what my goals were and how I choose to eat.

monkeybuttsmommy

I agree, and don't. If someone has one thing that's not the ultimate in health food, that's a lot different than someone who has it every day. And if someone asks for suggestions, or complains that what they're doing isn't working, that's another story, too.

I have half a DiGiorno Pizza about once a week. I love it, and make it fit into my calories, and it's not slowing me down. And I had two white chocolate macadamia nut cookies today. I'll probably have one tomorrow, too, and the next day and the next and the next... because there's 5 left and my husband doesn't like them. Most of my meals are very health conscious. And I exercise like a fiend. I do that so I CAN enjoy my junky stuff from time to time. There's no way I could ever stick to a traditional diet where there's good foods and bad foods and all bad foods must be avoided for all eternity.

I'm here for me. I'll lend support and encouragement to those who need it, but I'm no one's nanny and I don't expect anyone to be mine, either.

I'm exceeding all my goals, both in weight loss and fitness levels. What I'm doing is working for me. It might not work for someone else. My food diary isn't open so I'm "more accountable." It's open so that others can see that you CAN enjoy all sorts of foods and still get, be and stay healthy. It's open because I've gained valuable information from friends' diaries and I hope to be able to do the same for others. It's not open so that people can berate my choices.

There's too much guilt already in the weight loss arena.

Totally agree and thanks for saying it so well!!!

LorinaLynn

Ha ha ha well even though i see your point, I don't agree with all the way. We aren't dogs but people and comparing the two is silly.

Actually, positive reinforcement goes a lot further than dog training. It's only fairly recently been used for dogs. Before that, they had their noses rubbed in their tinkle and were smacked with rolled up newspapers. I'm willing to bet that dogs who've been trained with praise and encouragement are a lot happier.

In that regard, I don't think people are that much different.

FYI, my panties aren't the least bit bunched. Like I said.... if someone asks for help or if they're struggling, give them suggestions. But if they're content with their progress, that's their business. I think before offering a critique of someone's food choices, at least know them well enough to know how they're doing.

For what it's worth, salsa is my favorite condiment for burgers these days. Less calories & sodium than ketchup, with more flavor. Although today I had a diced sundried tomato and feta cheese on a veggie burger, and it was amaaaaazing! Tasty enough to make me forget it was a veggie burger! :laugh: