Have you experienced this?

neelia

I am on Facebook A LOT (much more than I should be, actually) and have my MFP set to post to Facebook (only when I complete my diary and when I lose weight).

Most of my friends that follow me on Facebook know that I am in this journey and are normally pretty supportive about it. When I complete my diary, they will "like" my post or ask me how they can join, too. Actually, I've had A LOT of my Facebook friends join MFP (although most of them quit after a few weeks).

With that being said, I decided to post a before/after comparision photo on my Facebook from My Virtual Model. It shows the weight I am currently at and my goal weight. & for your viewing pleasure:



Immediately after posting this, I had some comments of "WTG!" and "You can do it!", but I also had SEVERAL private chat messages telling me that my goal weight is "Way tooooooo thin!".

I'm really not worried about what others think of my goal weight, but I am totally amazed at how society views weight now.

I mean, really, pick up any magazine and every model is probably a size 00. Go to a bar and see the guys hit on the thinnest girl there. See a commercial with a celebrity transformation and you hear nothing but rave comments of how great they look.

But have your friend post her goal pic and think that is too thin? Wwwoooww.

Has this happened to anyone else?

00trayn

I haven't posted a goal picture like that, but I've had people/friends/family tell me "not to take it too far". When I say my goal is to get into the 130s, they're like "but you already look good!". Yes, I might, but I'm still sucking in my stomach when they're looking at me and I'm still 10 lbs from a healthy weight. The important thing is how you feel and that you're going about it in a healthy way. I want to be a size 4, not a size 0, and it boggles my mind a little bit when people lose a bunch of weight and then someone goes and says, "don't get too thin". Like magically we'll get an eating disorder and shrink away into nothing. It's just a matter of people not getting it.

JanerZzz

I think 135lb for 5'8 is very reasonable and healthy. It's not like you're trying to be 100lb at your height (which is what those girls on America's Next Top Model weigh). Don't worry about the ney sayers. you're doing great. Look great and will look great when you're at your goal weight Chin up!

Genie30

People have different perceptions about what is healthy and as long as your goal weight leaves you in the healthy BMI range I think your justified in sticking to what you want. I would just say 'thank you very much for you concern' and leave it at that. Shows you appreciate them thinking of you but you haven't validated or dismissed their worry.

Vanishing_Gordies

All the time. I carry my weight well apparently. I'm 5'3" and currently 165, but I'm thick. Thick thighs and big chest. It's genetics. I was talking to my Mommom the other day about going to the gym and she asked why I went so much...told me to be careful. I told her not to worry, that I'm looking to lose about 50lbs (I was up to 180 in December), and she told me that was too thin...that I'm "big boned" and I wasn't meant to be small.
I love mommom and she really did have my best interest at heart, but she knows nothing of health and fitness. My other grandmother would tell me I'm "muy flacita" and make me eat something. It's just a part of my heritage to have wide hips and thick thighs....maybe she feels like I'm losing my heritage when she sees/hears it melting away? I dunno. All I can say is do what makes you feel good. As long as you're healthy and your doctor isn't worried, it's okay.

FearAnLoathing

The only thing that happened to me was someone told me my goal weight wasnt skinny enough.Im 5'6 and im going for 130 or 140 I havent decided yet.But my cousin told me I should shoot for 120 because "i was totally hot at 120" for one ewwww hes my cousin.
for another 120 was when i was on meth,and i dont think i personlly need to get that low and would look just as good if not better at 130 or 140

gatorflyer

I think that everyone's goal weight is different. Some of the ideal weights I see out there of what you should weigh for a certain height is simply rediculous. They take into account nothing but height. It doesn't account for bone structure, body shape, etc. You need to set a goal weight that you look and feel healthy at, regardless of what the so-called experts or friends think. My goal weight is above the high end of my so called ideal range and its because I look and feel good at that weight. Society has these views of what we should look like and there is the risk of us getting caught up in that and setting our expectations to meet society's views. Not only does that affect your sense of self worth, it can downright lead to being unhealthy, which is the very thing that overweight people are fighting against. I think that is wrong on so many levels, and leads to people trying to look like the size 00 super model. So, point here being, don't let others' expectations dictate your own as well as your goals.

DaniJeanine

I can't stand when people tell me I want to be "too thin"! If your goal is 135 and you can reach it while still being healthy then go for it girl!!!!

PlanetVelma

Could it be jealousy? Maybe they want to lose weight and are jealous that you are getting results (??) I don't know....

Personally, I get that a lot at work, there are people that are unhappy with their current physique and I think they want everyone else to be like them (unhealthy, overweight, etc...). I am trying not to focus on the number on the scale, but how I feel. I do realize that I need to lose at least another 7-10 pounds in order for my BMI to be in the healthy range.

I could understand their concern if you had put down 105 as your ideal weight (lol) but what you have as your goal is reasonable and attainable.

I would probably send them a link to a BMI calculator and tell them "thanks for your concern, my goal weight is what I need to be in order to for my BMI to be in the healthy weight range. I'm making a lifestyle change to eat better & exercise more so I can be a good example for my family"

aippolito1

Yeah... my goal body is similar to Jessica Biel's although probably curvier since my hips are a good 6" wider than hers and not much more fat left...anyway, my boyfriend doesn't think she's attractive or hot at all (I DO!) because he says she's too muscular and looks like a man. Try that for encouragement!!! :sad:

I would be really careful around those people with weight loss subjects from now on. They may even tell you to gain weight once you reach your goal weight & you don't need that kind of discouragement. Hang in there, Neeli, you're doing a GREAT job!

ickybella

People have been telling me to stop losing weight since I got just barely within the "normal" BMI range. I would like to lose my belly, so I don't really have a goal weight, but people keep telling me my goals are unrealistic, even though they are well within any calculation of what is healthy. I don't want to be underweight or have incredibly low body fat; I just don't want to be flabby. Somehow, it has become more acceptable to be overweight than healthy. It is sad, I guess, but for me, it's mostly frustrating! :grumble:

P.S. I know that a lot of people think BMI is crap, but for us mortals, who are never going to have so much muscle that we are classified "overweight" by the BMI scale, I don't think it's a bad guide.

scagneti

I'd just say "I won't know that until I get there, will I?"

My family and friends know better than to try to discourage me because that would just make me want it more.

PlanetVelma

All the time. I carry my weight well apparently. I'm 5'3" and currently 165, but I'm thick. Thick thighs and big chest. It's genetics. I was talking to my Mommom the other day about going to the gym and she asked why I went so much...told me to be careful. I told her not to worry, that I'm looking to lose about 50lbs (I was up to 180 in December), and she told me that was too thin...that I'm "big boned" and I wasn't meant to be small.
I love mommom and she really did have my best interest at heart, but she knows nothing of health and fitness. My other grandmother would tell me I'm "muy flacita" and make me eat something. It's just a part of my heritage to have wide hips and thick thighs....maybe she feels like I'm losing my heritage when she sees/hears it melting away? I dunno. All I can say is do what makes you feel good. As long as you're healthy and your doctor isn't worried, it's okay.

My mom's family has always been fixated on weight (my mom's family is all Hispanic).

When i was 15 my aunt would call me "gorda" because I had gained a lot of weight that year. Then she would make me a plate of waaaay too much food for a grown man (much less a 15 y/o girl) and than scold me if I left any leftovers. LMAO! Talk about mixed signals!

wagn27

My "ideal" body weight is 98lbs. I don't think I've ever weighed 98lbs in my life! I felt pretty healthy around 110 or 115, but I don't see myself ever shooting for less. I don't want to look like a skeleton.

dls06

I think that everyone's goal weight is different. Some of the ideal weights I see out there of what you should weigh for a certain height is simply rediculous. They take into account nothing but height. It doesn't account for bone structure, body shape, etc. You need to set a goal weight that you look and feel healthy at, regardless of what the so-called experts or friends think. My goal weight is above the high end of my so called ideal range and its because I look and feel good at that weight. Society has these views of what we should look like and there is the risk of us getting caught up in that and setting our expectations to meet society's views. Not only does that affect your sense of self worth, it can downright lead to being unhealthy, which is the very thing that overweight people are fighting against. I think that is wrong on so many levels, and leads to people trying to look like the size 00 super model. So, point here being, don't let others' expectations dictate your own as well as your goals.

BUMP!

Liatush

bump

JillyBean819

5'8" and 135 lbs sounds ideal to me. I don't think that is ' too skinny' at all.

Fayve

I've had some pretty similiar reactions, mostly through my family. I'm 5'1, and aiming for 115 in the distant future, but trying to get back into the 120's right now. At my lowest, I was about 130, and then I gained several pounds due to medication - a family member told me that he was "relieved, because I looked way too skinny" before. I was really taken aback, considering that my goals were far beyond that, and I was really proud of how I looked at that time. Also, whenever I bring up weight loss with my sister, I think she imagines me crash dieting or being aneorexic (if only she realized how impossible this would be for me - I have a lovely relationship with food!). It's really quite the process to explain it to these people, so I figure they'll just have to wait and see me when I'm at my goal weights, and then they can make their judgements then if need be.

arodriguez2

I get that alot when I talk to people too. The "you're going to be too skinny" or the face of disbelief. BTW I have the exact same numbers as you! I was 168 and my goal is to be 135 (secretly I wouldn't mind 130) because I'm only 5'5.